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Fic: "Caught Between Man And Beast" R (1/1) [Logan/Rogue, Scott]

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  • Nadja Lee
    Hi all, This story is in my opinion my darkest story yet. Let me repeat that; this is a VERY dark story. It contains disturbing elements. Don t read unless
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 13, 2001
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      Hi all,

      This story is in my opinion my darkest story yet.

      Let me repeat that; this is a VERY dark story. It contains disturbing elements.
      Don't read unless you're sure you want to go here.

      Flames will be sent to Sorcieré and she can do what she wants with them; in

      Caught Between Man And Beast

      By Nadja Lee 10/11/01

      English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

      Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century
      Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I
      make no money of it.

      Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the
      author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without
      permission of the author.

      Timeline: After the movie

      Universe: Movie

      Romance: Logan/Rogue, slight Scott/Rogue

      Summary: When love becomes lust, trust becomes fear….what is left in a young
      woman’s heart?

      Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

      Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@p...

      Rating: R Disturbing elements

      For Sorcieré. HA. Outdark this one *EG*

      Thanks so much to Sorcieré for the Beta and kind suggestions.

      Thanks a ton to Joanne for the grammar check.

      Part 1:

      My room is dark but through the curtains the moonlight
      shines in. I finish brushing my hair and go to bed. As
      I’m almost asleep I hear the sound of my door opening.
      I sit up in bed and see the shape of a man entering.
      He moves closer and my heart beat wildly in my chest.

      "Logan?" I ask into the quiet room.

      I get no reply but the man keeps coming closer. I
      begin to get scared. Who is he? I draw the sheet
      closer up around my body.

      The moonlight falls on the man’s face and I sigh in
      relief. It’s Logan. Though I’ve got friends at school
      no one will ever mean as much to me as Logan. He was
      the man who found me, rescued me, gave me hope for a
      brighter future.

      "You scared me, sugah. What’s wrong? Did you have
      another nightmare? Want to talk about it?" I ask him
      worried. Sometimes when he has nightmares he comes to
      me. He doesn’t tell me about them but somehow seeing
      me helps him. He always has that hunted, almost far
      away look in his eyes after a nightmare and I just
      wish I could make it all go away.

      He doesn’t reply just moves closer to me. I make room
      for him on the bed. Why won’t he talk to me? Say
      something. It must have been a very bad dream.

      "Ah still can’t get over how the Professor helped me
      to control ma powers. Ah’m so happy," I say, more just
      to break the silence than anything else and smile to
      try and cheer him up.

      Though I’m now able to touch again, for which I’m more
      happy than words can describe, I still haven’t touched
      the man, the person, who I long to touch more than
      anything. Logan. For the last weeks he has been
      drifting away from me. When I’ve asked him about it he
      has either denied it or told me he was dangerous for
      me. I could never believe him a danger to me. Never.

      Logan is now all the way over to me and sits by my
      bedside. I look worriedly at him and wonder if I
      should take his hand in mine.

      "Sugah, you sure you´re alright? You look…different,"
      I ask concerned. His eyes looks…wild, his hair is
      messy and his mouth is covered in a snarl. He looks
      more like a beast than a man but I’m not afraid. I
      know he’ll never hurt me. He practically gave his life
      for me at the statue. He’s my champion, my
      protector…the man I love. He’ll never hurt me.

      Logan reaches for me and before I know what’s
      happening he has me pinned hard against the bed and
      under him.

      "Logan! What’re you doing?!" I try to keep the panic
      out of my voice but don’t quite succeed. Again he
      doesn’t reply but he bends down and claim my mouth
      with his own. I try to avoid his lips but he
      forcefully turns my head back towards him. The kiss is
      nothing like I have dreamed my first kiss with Logan
      should be; it hard, brutal and when he pulls back I
      tastes blood on my lip.

      "Logan…. Logan, please," I beg but the look in his
      eyes is without mercy, only filled with lust, with

      "Don’t!" I scream but too late as he tears my night
      grown in pieces.

      He lies heavily over me and no matter how much I try
      to move him he doesn’t move an inch. My powers…I could
      kill him…

      But before I get to think things through I feel
      something hard against my inner thighs and flick in
      repulsion. Whoever this man is, he isn’t Logan. Not my
      Logan. Not the man I love. That is my last conscious
      thought as I fight a losing battle to avoid his hands,
      mouth and cock and fail at all three.

      Then time seems to stand still, the world seems to end
      and I escape to a place in my mind to keep from dying.

      Finally when it’s all over…there is merciful

      Part 2:

      "Rogue! Good God. What happened?" someone says and I
      blink and look up into Scott’s shaded eyes. He bends
      over me on the bed and instinctively I try to move
      away from him. He reaches for me.

      "NO! Leave me alone," I cry but he doesn’t listen. He
      lifts me up into his arms and carries me out the room.
      As I look over his shoulder I see the bed is soaked in
      blood; my blood.

      "Shhhh. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never allow anyone
      to hurt you. Ever again," Scott whispers softly as I
      hide my face by his shoulder. I feel so…. I don’t know
      what I feel. Right now I just feel numb.

      He reaches sickbay and gently puts me in a bed. First
      now do I begin to feel pain. My stomach hurts, my
      abdomen feels like it’s been torn in two and I
      generally feel as weak as a kitten. I don’t want to
      think; to acknowledge what has happened. I wish it’d
      all just go away.

      "I’ll get Jean," he promises but I catch hold of his
      arm. "No. No one is to know," I whisper. I can’t bear
      the thought of their pity…the shame. He nods in

      "I’ll stay with you then," he promises and moves away
      to warm some water and get a clean white hospital

      "I need to remove the rest of your clothes so I can
      wash you," Scot says softly as he comes with a washing

      "Ah…Ah’ll do it myself," I insist. I can’t have his
      hands on me too. I try to take the cloth from him but
      I drop it. I’m too weak to even hold it. He picks it
      up and soaks it in warm water again.

      "I’ll not touch you more than I have to and I’ll be
      quick and gentle," he promises and begins to wash my
      arms. I close my eyes and wish him and this entire
      night far away.

      "I know what you’re going through. It’ll get better.
      It might seem like the end of the world now but….
      you’ll live. Somehow," he says softly.

      "How do you know?" I ask pained. I can’t see how I can
      move on. I still love Logan that’s the hard part, the
      insane part. I don’t want to know this; to know I can
      love a man who has done this to me…for how can I?
      Doesn’t that make me as sick as him? Just as twisted,
      just as insane? No, no, no! This is NOT happening!
      Please God, say this is not happening. Logan can’t
      have done this to me; he just can’t. For if he did….
      then I’ll be truly sick since I still…. since I still
      love him.

      "Because I still live. I may not ever live as I once
      did but I still breathe, I still get up every morning.
      I’m taking each day at a time and that’s the only way
      to do this," he explains. In shock I open my eyes and
      sees he is watching my belly now. I begin to shake all

      "Don’t. Close your eyes," he says and puts a hand over
      my eyes. My shaking slowly stops.

      "Where you…" I begin softly.

      "Yes. As a young boy I was raped. I do know what
      you’re going through. I do know," he whispers pained.
      I don’t know what to say to that. I feel…. relieved to
      know I’m not alone. I don’t feel so wrong…so dirty

      "You can open your eyes now," Scott says and as I do I
      see he has finished washing me. He must have talked
      with me to keep my mind occupied. I want to say thanks
      but no word comes over my lips. He smiles kind of

      "I know," he says and helps the white growl over my
      head and puts the linen around my body.

      "Rogue, I need to know…. who did this?" his voice his
      filled with suppressed anger and an intense hate. I
      shouldn’t tell him; a part of me wants to tell him yet
      another doesn’t.

      "L…Logan," I whisper and as it’s out I want to take it
      back. No, not Logan. He would never do this to me.

      "Stay here. You’ll be safe here," Scott promises and
      leaves sickbay.

      "Scott! Scott, don’t! Scott!" I yell after him but
      it’s too late. No, it can’t have been Logan. Logan
      loves me, Logan loves me…

      "Logan loves me, Logan loves me…" my chanting is
      reflected against the walls and unnoticed tears runs
      down my cheeks as I pull my knees up under me and
      slowly rock back and forth.

      Part 3:

      "Get up, you bastard!" Scott demands and tears the
      sheet off Logan’s sleeping body. Logan wakes at once
      and pops his claws.

      "What are you doing in my room, One-Eye?" Logan

      "Settling a score," Scott answers, his voice
      dangerously low.

      "Is this about Jean?" Logan asks tiredly.

      "No. This is about Rogue. About tonight. About how you
      broke her," Scott says angrily.

      "What? I was nowhere near Rogue! You’re out of your
      mind," Logan protests.

      "Look at yourself," Scott demands and Logan turns
      towards his mirror. His entire body is covered in
      blood. Rogue’s blood.

      "Oh, dear God," Logan whispers in horror.

      "Save your prayers. He can’t help you now," Scott says hatefully.

      "You don’t understand. It wasn’t me," Logan protests
      and feels like he’s to be sick. Just the thought that
      he harmed the woman he loves so much…it’s killing him.

      "Spare me," Scot spats and his hands move to his

      "Just…tell Marie I love her," Logan whispers brokenly
      and redraws his claws. He can’t bear the thought of
      continuing living with the knowledge of what he has
      done. He was supposed to be her champion, her saviour.
      For her he should be only Logan; a man. Not Wolverine;
      not a beast. Never a beast. For her it should have
      been possible. He had wanted it to be true so badly
      for he had wanted her so, loved her so. He would
      rather die than harm her, he would kill anyone who dared
      to ham her…now he was forced to admit that the
      greatest threat to the woman he loved more than life
      itself…was himself. He had done her more harm with his
      love than anyone person had ever done with their hate.
      He didn’t deserve to live when the woman he loved was
      scared forever because of him. He had no reason to
      live, nothing to hold on to. He had nothing left but pain,
      regret and shame.

      Then a red beam left Scott’s eyes and there was
      nothing left to be said.

      Part 4:

      "Here you are, Rogue. I’ve looked all over for you,"
      Scott said as he later that night finally found Rogue on the Mansion
      roof. She stood by the edge looking down.

      "Is he…"


      Rogue turned to him and tears were in her eyes.

      "I can’t live without him," she sniffed.

      "He wasn’t worth your love," Scott said softly.

      "It wasn’t him. It was the beast. Not a man. It was a
      beast!" she sounded almost hysterical.

      "Let’s go back," Scott said kindly and reached for
      her. She shook her head.

      "I can’t." She moved closer to the edge.

      "Marie?" Scott asked softly, slowly reaching for her.

      She turned around and suddenly she smiled.

      "Logan? I knew you would come. I knew you wouldn’t let
      that beast harm me again," she said happily and
      reached for him.

      Scott frowned slightly but then smiled sadly at her
      and took her offered hand. She pulled him over to
      stand at the edge.

      "Do you love me?" she asked softly. Scott stroked a
      loose hair behind her ear.

      "Always. Always," he said softly and tears fell down
      his cheeks. So young, so broken…so like him.

      "Ah’m not afraid now that you’re here," she whispered
      and squeezed his hand tight.

      "I’ll never leave you" Scott promised. "For…I love

      "And Ah you," she whispered and smiled at him.

      Scott looked over the edge. This was for the best. To
      end it all tonight. No more pain, no more hiding, no
      more shame…. freedom at last. For him and for her.
      Here and now, all the pain could disappear, all the
      nightmares would end, all the wounds would stop
      hurting…tonight he could finally find peace.

      All the pain in his childhood, all the pain in his
      heart, tonight it could all end. All he had to do was
      take one small step with Rogue.

      He looked closely at Rogue. Her eyes seemed strangely
      out of focus yet happy; insane. An insane and false
      happiness she found here tonight. If she took this
      step tonight she’ll always be happy. If he denied her
      this…she would feel what he had felt all his life; the
      pain, the nightmares, the insecurity and worse of all
      the shame and hiding.

      This was her decision and he felt he had no right to
      deny her this. Enough people had told him what he
      could and couldn’t do; he had sworn never to do the
      same to others. She had the right to choose and she
      had chosen. And so had he. Death couldn’t be any worse
      than the life he had lead even if then he went to Hell. Death was
      freedom…oblivion. It had to be for if it wasn’t then
      there was no peace on Earth, not even in death.

      Rogue turned to look at him and he smiled kinda sadly
      and squeezed her hand tight. For the first time in his
      life he wouldn’t be alone. Never alone, never afraid,
      never ashamed…never ever again.

      Then she took a step forward…. And he didn’t let go.

      The End
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