FIC: Chicken X (PG)
- TITLE: X-BOO
DISCLAIMER: not mine....except the lasange
SUMMARY: I have NO idea how to summerize this...
EMAIL: Feedback..OOOOO PLEASE....
Lets get started then..
�I thought we were having lasagne tonight?� Logan
mumbled over a mouth full of cigar as he lit it.
Jubilee shot him a puzzled look, �We are.�
�No we aint.�
�Yes we are.� She insisted, �I saw Maria taking out
the mince and noodles this morning.�
�Then why can I smell chicken everywhere?� Logan
replied smugly, waving his cigar around.
Jubilee paused for a moment, a look of heavy
contemplation on her face, �Ahhhhhhhh � maybe cause
those cigars have finally screwed up your nose?�
Logan�s eyes narrowed, �I�m telling you Jubes, I can
smell chicken�and my nose is never wrong.�
THE PLOT THICKENS
En route to the dining hall, Logan was sniffing the
air, �Chicken�I know its chicken,� He was grumbling;
when the sounds of soft giggling voices reached his
sensitive ears form the lounge.
�Have you seen the new guy Scott brought in this
morning?� That was Kitty, Logan identified, still
mumbling to himself.
�Oooooooh My Is he gorgeous! What a hunk! Its about
time we got some new drool-worthy men in this
mansion.� Wait a sec. Logan froze in his tracks as
his mind stitched on an ID to the voice. That was
�What the hell�.� He moved closer to the wall
separating the lounge and the corridor and pushed his
ear closer to the cool wallpaper.
�I could just get lost in those golden amber eyes of
�I almost melted when he looked at me. Soooo amazing.
Imagine waking up to those eyes.�
Logan felt his hackles rise.
�And those claws. Have you seen those? Oh my...they
are like THIS big!�
HEY!! I have claws. Logan started to growl.
�Do you think he�s available? You know. For the
spring dance Jean�s putting together?�
�Don�t know. But we can always find out.� He could
hear the smile in her voice. He growled even louder.
�Marie. Do you hear something?�
A few moments of quiet.. �Logan are you out here,� a
slightly raised voice asked.
But he had already stomped down the passageway,
swearing and growling under his breath.
SOMETHING CHICKEN THIS WAY COMES
Logan sat glowering in his corner of the
X-Table-poking at his lasagne, when yet another waft
of chicken crept up his nose.
The smell was not only EVERYWHERE he went but it was
also stopping him from effectively tracking down this
�Swoon worthy� new guy who had every female resident
in the mansion falling over their feet.
Logan had pride, and there was NO way on God�s green
and blue earth that he was going to stop a drooling
Kitty and ask her about Xavier�s latest addition.
Between the smell and the mutant with the mutant charm
of every boy band to have existed�Logan was having a
Trying to ignore Jubilee as she sauntered over and
collapsed on the chair opposite him, he poked at his
mincy mess again, feigning interest in a noodle that
was busy escaping over the side of his plate.
She swayed her head side to side, up and down, trying
to get into his line of sight�His eyes remained
unfocused and glued on his plate. Jubes gave up
trying to get his attention, but on second thoughts,
she couldn�t resist the temptation. One look at the
moping Logan and her mouth was open.
�So,� she smirked, �How�s the chicken?�
That was it. Logan cracked, �I Fucking smelled
chicken� OKAY. I still do.� His noodle went flying
of his fork and hit Jubes with a wet smack on her
He tried to get his rage under control as Jubes froze
in her seat trying not to laugh, pulling the sticky
noodle from her head and tossing it onto Scott�s lap.
�Okay.� She started to munch on her food as Logan
finally stopped glaring at her and began to eat his
�So,� she tried another topic, �have you heard about
the new guy�� She begun cheerfully, stopping when she
noticed the strange shade of red Logan�s face had
THE COLONELS SECRET TAUNTING
�Logan. Will you please report to my office. I have
someone here I would like you to meet.�
Logan jerked up in surprise and bumped his head on the
kitchen fridge as he searched for KFC.
�For fucks sake,�HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK FOR
YOU TO STOP MENTALLY BEEPING ME!!�
Storm�s tea wobbled in her cup as her body stiffened
in fright then relaxed again at the sudden outburst.
Logan looked at her from his cross-legged position on
the floor, surrounded by lettuce and a few expired
�Nothing.� Storm went back to her Cosmo �What your
dental plaque and flossing habits say about you� test,
and sipped her tea.
Logan growled, threw the lettuce back on top of the
defrosted tofu, and marched out of the kitchen to the
FROM THE COOKING PAN
The Professor was never really sure if it was his
mental powers picking up Logan, before he threw open
his heavily panelled oak office door, or his ever
present black cloud that even a 2 month dead,
psi-deaf, armadillo could pick up on.
He would have to ask Jean about that.
He sent a reassuring smile to his newest student and
looked benignly toward the stunned Logan who had
frozen in place as he had come stomping in.
Scott was still looking at him disapprovingly while
Jean showed no facial expressions at all�he would have
to talk to her about that too.
�Logan. I wish you to meet our newest student and
teammate. Mr Boo.� Xavier said proudly and watched
as Boo turned around in the squeaky leather chair to
face Logan before standing up and offering a hand.
Logan stood dumbfounded.
Xavier wondered what was the matter. Did Logan know
Boo from somewhere? He was about to send a mental
touch and ask Logan if everything was all right, when�
�But he is a GIANT CHICKEN!� Logan sputtered.
Xavier heard Jean�s gasp and Scott�s grunt of
annoyance, �Logan. Apologise immediately to Mr Boo.
Every one is welcome to my school. Past discretions
�BUT HE�S A CHICKEN!� Logan pointed and begun to
�Logan!� Jean put on her best disapproving tone of
voice. The one she kept for special occasions and
queue jumping. �No one has any right to laugh at any
one�s mutations. I never expected this from you.�
�Okay I get it� cute one. Shape shifter right? We
finally have some one to beat Mystique at her own
game� Logan grinned.
Boo dropped his hand and glanced around at everyone
Logan was still chuckling while the rest of his peers
glared at him.
The laughing stopped.
Logan could swear that the temperature had just
dropped by 20 degrees.
�You�re not kidding. Are you?� He felt quite ill,
�You really don�t know he�s a chicken.�
Xavier cleared his throat and wheeled around back to
his desk, �Logan, I want you to help Boo get
acquainted with the rest of the team, and to start him
on a danger room sequence.� Logan�s mouth fell, �And
then I want you and Scott to get him a uniform.�
�But but but but. �He�s a chicken.� Logan replied
weakly, �A giant chicken.�
�Logan.� Scott warned.
�Who wears a disguise to look like human guys.� he
�LOGAN!� Scott snapped.
�Fine fine. Whatever�I�ll get �Boo� here acquainted��
He relented, �And then maybe introduce him to my
secret blend of herbs and spices.�
He stormed out before Xavier could mentally toss his
biggest leather bond book at his head.
Boo bobbed a little bow to the Professor before
quickly walking out after Logan.
Jean sighed a sigh of relief, �I never thought Logan
would react like that. He�s normally quite reserved.�
�You aren�t going to let him go with all that name
calling are you Professor.� Scott demanded, �Calling
him a giant chicken.�
�Maybe Logan�s animal sense can pick up things our
normal sense cannot. Or maybe Logan knows Boo from
another time, dimension, Marvel plot or something
equally bizarre. I�ll have to ponder this. In the
mean time, I need Boo and Logan to get along. We
need all the X-men we can muster before the Spring
Ball�s hall decorating begins. It wil be a trying
time. But we need those banners up.�
A BRIEF INTERLUDE FOR POPCORN
Time went by quickly.
And the Spring Ball was a success. Except for that
brief incident concerning the punch bowl and Jean�but
that�s another story.
Logan eventually got over Boo.
Glaring, muttering, causally placed drawings of
chickens around the mansion where people could
accidentally find them, all earned Logan stern
reprimands from his fellow Teamsters, and not a few
nasty glares from Scott who had taken Boo under his
He finally accepted the fact that no one was listening
to him, as he watched Boo peck at the corn kernels he
had earlier scattered upon the basketball court�and
Scott was totally oblivious to the fact as he lost his
cool and told Logan to grow up�.this was happening as
Logan tried to point out the fact that Boo was
currently bobbing up and down for chicken feed.
Boo showed much promise in becoming an X-man.
Rapidly rising in the ranks to be placed in the Alpha
team, earning a Danger room record that made even
Boo was a force to be reckoned with.
�But he is still a Giant Chicken� Growled Logan as Boo
yet again refused the Chicken Casserole that Cook had
spent ages on�causing much eyebrow raising and �I told
you so�s� form Logan�which everyone ignored.
For the thought of a giant barnyard fowl in the ranks
of Xavier�s institute was to ridiculous to even
And sooner than they thought, it was time for Boo�s
very first X-men mission with the team
THE BLACKBIRD HAS WATTLES
Sitting at the back of the Blackbird, Logan watched as
Jean�s hand slowly ran down the back of her neck and
wiped off Storm�s body fluids.
�Cuse me.� Storm muttered before yet another lengthy
blow into her tissue.
Logan had a bet going with Gambit on how much longer
that tissue would last. Things you didn�t realise
about the leather issue uniforms of the X-men. Yes
they looked good�but they didn�t have much room for
Jean finished wiping her hand off on her leg,
�Blood..I�ve had blood on here�snots nothing compared
to Toad slime..� She muttered before turning around to
�I thought you were only allergic to Feathers and
�I am.� Storm slurped.
Jean exaggerated looking around the cabin of the jet,
�Well I don�t see any feathers. And unless Logan�s
built a brewery at the back there, I honestly think
you should come see me about having another test
Strom nodded weakly and begun to ask around for
another tissue as her�s dissolved.
Gambit handed Logan $2.
Meanwhile Scott patiently taught Boo the complexities
of flying the Blackbird to a mission, and the best
ways to land to extract a curse from the Wolverine.
A lot can be said about that mission�s final battle.
The way Wolverine dislocated both of Sabertooth�s
shoulders at the same time.
The way Storm and Toad spent half of the mission
When Mystique morphed into a Wolverine look-a-like,
went one-on-one with him, and making Cyclops have to
decide on which was the real Logan before shooting a
laser�.at the wrong one anyway.
The way Wolverine kicked his ass after the
mission..But that�s another story.
But the thing that stuck most in everyone�s minds.
Including the brotherhoods.
He attacked with a vengeance.
Even Sabertooth after his shoulders had popped back in
and Wolverine was busy beating up his Mystique double.
His claws slashed in and out..He fought with a
dedication and style that only could be called beauty,
Magneto concentrated his powers and lifted the small
metal shavings off the floor and sent them hurtling
across the room like bullets.
He was concentrating so much that he failed to notice
the shadow, which floated down from the gang walk
Rouge lifted the wooden plank and threw it across
Magneto�s head sending him collapsing to the floor
like a puppet whose strings had just been broken.
Dropping the plank, she wiped her hands together and
looked around at her team mates who where just busy
finishing off their bad guys for the days mission.
Logan kicked Mystique in head again and looked up to
hovering Rouge, �Hey Rouge�I liked the whaping noise
Magsies head made. Wanna do it again.� He grinned,
and eyed a metal pylon lying near by.
Rouge was about to agree, grinning ear to ear, when a
stern noise of disapproval came from the fearless
leaders direction, �No. He has learnt his lesson
�Oh..right.. His lesson.� Wolverine dropped a still
smouldering cigar on Sabertooths prone unconscious
body as he walked past and glared at the equally prone
Cyclops ignored Wolverine and started to check for the
rest of the Team.
Jean. Isn�t she beautiful� hey baby (small wave)
Storm. Still sniffing.
Wolverine. Still in his face, glaring.
Rouge. Still grinning at her clever move.
Gambit. Going through Magnetos pockets.
Where was Boo???
�Boo?� He called,
�OH MY G_D �Jean come quickly� It was Rouge who had
now landed on the far side of the warehouse and was
gesturing to the floor.
The team ran towards her, skidding to a halt when they
finally saw what the problem was.
On the ground, next to a wall riddled with Magneto�s
bullet shrapnel, laid Boo.
�Is he..?� Asked Storm in an unfinished question.
Jean knelt down to feel for his pulse, quickly
stepping back as a groggy Boo stood up.
�He�s all right� Scott practically crowed in delight.
Boo looked around dazed and stepped forward to his
An audible collective gasp was heard as his uniform
fell from him in tattered shreds.
The shrapnel missing him, but cutting the leather into
Boo blinked as the X-men stared.
�Told you so.� Logan stated smugly.
A small feather slowly drifted to the ground.
�Puck?� Said Boo.
�OH MY G_D�HE�S A GIANT CHICKEN!!!!� Jean practically
Gambit handed Logan $20.
Boo was never seen again after that night.
The X-Men gave him a lift home after they had dragged
Scott aboard the Blackbird and had sedated Jean.
Xavier had decided that it was best if Boo left the
mansion as many of the children actually enjoyed
Kentucky and might find it awkward with him in the
3 YEARS LATER
�Ahhhh Mr President, We have a request from an
Xavier�s Institute on Mutant registration rights�can I
let him in?�
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