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FIC: Chicken X (PG)

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  • Kat Hunt
    TITLE: X-BOO AUTHOR: Hunter DISCLAIMER: not mine....except the lasange RATEING: PG SUMMARY: I have NO idea how to summerize this... EMAIL: Feedback..OOOOO
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 13, 2001
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      TITLE: X-BOO
      AUTHOR: Hunter
      DISCLAIMER: not mine....except the lasange
      RATEING: PG
      SUMMARY: I have NO idea how to summerize this...
      EMAIL: Feedback..OOOOO PLEASE....

      Lets get started then..
      _______________________________________________________

      X-BOO
      _______________________________________________________

      �I thought we were having lasagne tonight?� Logan
      mumbled over a mouth full of cigar as he lit it.

      Jubilee shot him a puzzled look, �We are.�

      �No we aint.�

      �Yes we are.� She insisted, �I saw Maria taking out
      the mince and noodles this morning.�

      �Then why can I smell chicken everywhere?� Logan
      replied smugly, waving his cigar around.

      Jubilee paused for a moment, a look of heavy
      contemplation on her face, �Ahhhhhhhh � maybe cause
      those cigars have finally screwed up your nose?�

      Logan�s eyes narrowed, �I�m telling you Jubes, I can
      smell chicken�and my nose is never wrong.�

      �Lasagne.�

      �Chicken.�

      �Lasagne.�

      �Chicken.�

      �Lasagne.�


      THE PLOT THICKENS

      En route to the dining hall, Logan was sniffing the
      air, �Chicken�I know its chicken,� He was grumbling;
      when the sounds of soft giggling voices reached his
      sensitive ears form the lounge.

      �Have you seen the new guy Scott brought in this
      morning?� That was Kitty, Logan identified, still
      mumbling to himself.

      �Oooooooh My Is he gorgeous! What a hunk! Its about
      time we got some new drool-worthy men in this
      mansion.� Wait a sec. Logan froze in his tracks as
      his mind stitched on an ID to the voice. That was
      Marie.

      �What the hell�.� He moved closer to the wall
      separating the lounge and the corridor and pushed his
      ear closer to the cool wallpaper.

      �I could just get lost in those golden amber eyes of
      his..�

      �I almost melted when he looked at me. Soooo amazing.
      Imagine waking up to those eyes.�

      Logan felt his hackles rise.

      �And those claws. Have you seen those? Oh my...they
      are like THIS big!�
      HEY!! I have claws. Logan started to growl.

      �Do you think he�s available? You know. For the
      spring dance Jean�s putting together?�

      �Don�t know. But we can always find out.� He could
      hear the smile in her voice. He growled even louder.

      �Marie. Do you hear something?�

      �Growling?�

      �Ah ha.�

      A few moments of quiet.. �Logan are you out here,� a
      slightly raised voice asked.

      But he had already stomped down the passageway,
      swearing and growling under his breath.


      SOMETHING CHICKEN THIS WAY COMES

      Logan sat glowering in his corner of the
      X-Table-poking at his lasagne, when yet another waft
      of chicken crept up his nose.

      The smell was not only EVERYWHERE he went but it was
      also stopping him from effectively tracking down this
      �Swoon worthy� new guy who had every female resident
      in the mansion falling over their feet.
      Logan had pride, and there was NO way on God�s green
      and blue earth that he was going to stop a drooling
      Kitty and ask her about Xavier�s latest addition.

      Between the smell and the mutant with the mutant charm
      of every boy band to have existed�Logan was having a
      shitty day.

      Trying to ignore Jubilee as she sauntered over and
      collapsed on the chair opposite him, he poked at his
      mincy mess again, feigning interest in a noodle that
      was busy escaping over the side of his plate.

      She swayed her head side to side, up and down, trying
      to get into his line of sight�His eyes remained
      unfocused and glued on his plate. Jubes gave up
      trying to get his attention, but on second thoughts,
      she couldn�t resist the temptation. One look at the
      moping Logan and her mouth was open.

      �So,� she smirked, �How�s the chicken?�

      That was it. Logan cracked, �I Fucking smelled
      chicken� OKAY. I still do.� His noodle went flying
      of his fork and hit Jubes with a wet smack on her
      forehead.

      He tried to get his rage under control as Jubes froze
      in her seat trying not to laugh, pulling the sticky
      noodle from her head and tossing it onto Scott�s lap.

      �Okay.� She started to munch on her food as Logan
      finally stopped glaring at her and began to eat his
      own.

      �So,� she tried another topic, �have you heard about
      the new guy�� She begun cheerfully, stopping when she
      noticed the strange shade of red Logan�s face had
      turned.

      �Ah Wolvie?�

      �ARGHHHHHHHHHHH.�

      THE COLONELS SECRET TAUNTING

      �Logan. Will you please report to my office. I have
      someone here I would like you to meet.�

      Logan jerked up in surprise and bumped his head on the
      kitchen fridge as he searched for KFC.

      �For fucks sake,�HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK FOR
      YOU TO STOP MENTALLY BEEPING ME!!�

      Storm�s tea wobbled in her cup as her body stiffened
      in fright then relaxed again at the sudden outburst.
      Logan looked at her from his cross-legged position on
      the floor, surrounded by lettuce and a few expired
      Bulgarian yoghurts.

      �What?�

      �Nothing.� Storm went back to her Cosmo �What your
      dental plaque and flossing habits say about you� test,
      and sipped her tea.

      Logan growled, threw the lettuce back on top of the
      defrosted tofu, and marched out of the kitchen to the
      Professors office.


      FROM THE COOKING PAN

      The Professor was never really sure if it was his
      mental powers picking up Logan, before he threw open
      his heavily panelled oak office door, or his ever
      present black cloud that even a 2 month dead,
      psi-deaf, armadillo could pick up on.

      He would have to ask Jean about that.

      He sent a reassuring smile to his newest student and
      looked benignly toward the stunned Logan who had
      frozen in place as he had come stomping in.

      Scott was still looking at him disapprovingly while
      Jean showed no facial expressions at all�he would have
      to talk to her about that too.

      �Logan. I wish you to meet our newest student and
      teammate. Mr Boo.� Xavier said proudly and watched
      as Boo turned around in the squeaky leather chair to
      face Logan before standing up and offering a hand.

      Logan stood dumbfounded.

      Xavier wondered what was the matter. Did Logan know
      Boo from somewhere? He was about to send a mental
      touch and ask Logan if everything was all right, when�

      �But he is a GIANT CHICKEN!� Logan sputtered.

      Xavier heard Jean�s gasp and Scott�s grunt of
      annoyance, �Logan. Apologise immediately to Mr Boo.
      Every one is welcome to my school. Past discretions
      aside.�

      �BUT HE�S A CHICKEN!� Logan pointed and begun to
      laugh.

      �Logan!� Jean put on her best disapproving tone of
      voice. The one she kept for special occasions and
      queue jumping. �No one has any right to laugh at any
      one�s mutations. I never expected this from you.�

      �Okay I get it� cute one. Shape shifter right? We
      finally have some one to beat Mystique at her own
      game� Logan grinned.

      Boo dropped his hand and glanced around at everyone
      around him.
      Logan was still chuckling while the rest of his peers
      glared at him.

      The laughing stopped.

      Logan could swear that the temperature had just
      dropped by 20 degrees.

      �You�re not kidding. Are you?� He felt quite ill,
      �You really don�t know he�s a chicken.�

      Xavier cleared his throat and wheeled around back to
      his desk, �Logan, I want you to help Boo get
      acquainted with the rest of the team, and to start him
      on a danger room sequence.� Logan�s mouth fell, �And
      then I want you and Scott to get him a uniform.�

      �But but but but. �He�s a chicken.� Logan replied
      weakly, �A giant chicken.�

      �Logan.� Scott warned.

      �Who wears a disguise to look like human guys.� he
      added on.

      �LOGAN!� Scott snapped.

      �Fine fine. Whatever�I�ll get �Boo� here acquainted��
      He relented, �And then maybe introduce him to my
      secret blend of herbs and spices.�

      He stormed out before Xavier could mentally toss his
      biggest leather bond book at his head.

      Boo bobbed a little bow to the Professor before
      quickly walking out after Logan.

      Jean sighed a sigh of relief, �I never thought Logan
      would react like that. He�s normally quite reserved.�

      �You aren�t going to let him go with all that name
      calling are you Professor.� Scott demanded, �Calling
      him a giant chicken.�

      �Maybe Logan�s animal sense can pick up things our
      normal sense cannot. Or maybe Logan knows Boo from
      another time, dimension, Marvel plot or something
      equally bizarre. I�ll have to ponder this. In the
      mean time, I need Boo and Logan to get along. We
      need all the X-men we can muster before the Spring
      Ball�s hall decorating begins. It wil be a trying
      time. But we need those banners up.�



      A BRIEF INTERLUDE FOR POPCORN

      Time went by quickly.
      And the Spring Ball was a success. Except for that
      brief incident concerning the punch bowl and Jean�but
      that�s another story.

      Logan eventually got over Boo.
      Eventually.

      Glaring, muttering, causally placed drawings of
      chickens around the mansion where people could
      accidentally find them, all earned Logan stern
      reprimands from his fellow Teamsters, and not a few
      nasty glares from Scott who had taken Boo under his
      tutelage.

      He finally accepted the fact that no one was listening
      to him, as he watched Boo peck at the corn kernels he
      had earlier scattered upon the basketball court�and
      Scott was totally oblivious to the fact as he lost his
      cool and told Logan to grow up�.this was happening as
      Logan tried to point out the fact that Boo was
      currently bobbing up and down for chicken feed.

      Boo showed much promise in becoming an X-man.
      Rapidly rising in the ranks to be placed in the Alpha
      team, earning a Danger room record that made even
      Logan impressed.

      Boo was a force to be reckoned with.

      �But he is still a Giant Chicken� Growled Logan as Boo
      yet again refused the Chicken Casserole that Cook had
      spent ages on�causing much eyebrow raising and �I told
      you so�s� form Logan�which everyone ignored.

      For the thought of a giant barnyard fowl in the ranks
      of Xavier�s institute was to ridiculous to even
      comprehend.

      And sooner than they thought, it was time for Boo�s
      very first X-men mission with the team



      THE BLACKBIRD HAS WATTLES

      �ACHOOOOooooo!!!�

      Sitting at the back of the Blackbird, Logan watched as
      Jean�s hand slowly ran down the back of her neck and
      wiped off Storm�s body fluids.

      �Cuse me.� Storm muttered before yet another lengthy
      blow into her tissue.

      Logan had a bet going with Gambit on how much longer
      that tissue would last. Things you didn�t realise
      about the leather issue uniforms of the X-men. Yes
      they looked good�but they didn�t have much room for
      necessities.

      Jean finished wiping her hand off on her leg,
      �Blood..I�ve had blood on here�snots nothing compared
      to Toad slime..� She muttered before turning around to
      face Storm.

      �I thought you were only allergic to Feathers and
      Asian beer?�

      �I am.� Storm slurped.

      Jean exaggerated looking around the cabin of the jet,
      �Well I don�t see any feathers. And unless Logan�s
      built a brewery at the back there, I honestly think
      you should come see me about having another test
      done.�

      Strom nodded weakly and begun to ask around for
      another tissue as her�s dissolved.

      Gambit handed Logan $2.

      Meanwhile Scott patiently taught Boo the complexities
      of flying the Blackbird to a mission, and the best
      ways to land to extract a curse from the Wolverine.


      OH..PUCK!

      A lot can be said about that mission�s final battle.

      The way Wolverine dislocated both of Sabertooth�s
      shoulders at the same time.

      The way Storm and Toad spent half of the mission
      name-calling.

      When Mystique morphed into a Wolverine look-a-like,
      went one-on-one with him, and making Cyclops have to
      decide on which was the real Logan before shooting a
      laser�.at the wrong one anyway.

      The way Wolverine kicked his ass after the
      mission..But that�s another story.

      But the thing that stuck most in everyone�s minds.
      Including the brotherhoods.

      Was Boo.

      He attacked with a vengeance.
      Even Sabertooth after his shoulders had popped back in
      and Wolverine was busy beating up his Mystique double.

      His claws slashed in and out..He fought with a
      dedication and style that only could be called beauty,
      until �..

      ***

      Magneto concentrated his powers and lifted the small
      metal shavings off the floor and sent them hurtling
      across the room like bullets.

      He was concentrating so much that he failed to notice
      the shadow, which floated down from the gang walk
      above.

      Rouge lifted the wooden plank and threw it across
      Magneto�s head sending him collapsing to the floor
      like a puppet whose strings had just been broken.

      Dropping the plank, she wiped her hands together and
      looked around at her team mates who where just busy
      finishing off their bad guys for the days mission.
      Logan kicked Mystique in head again and looked up to
      hovering Rouge, �Hey Rouge�I liked the whaping noise
      Magsies head made. Wanna do it again.� He grinned,
      and eyed a metal pylon lying near by.

      Rouge was about to agree, grinning ear to ear, when a
      stern noise of disapproval came from the fearless
      leaders direction, �No. He has learnt his lesson
      today.�

      �Oh..right.. His lesson.� Wolverine dropped a still
      smouldering cigar on Sabertooths prone unconscious
      body as he walked past and glared at the equally prone
      Cyclops.

      Cyclops ignored Wolverine and started to check for the
      rest of the Team.

      Jean. Isn�t she beautiful� hey baby (small wave)
      Storm. Still sniffing.
      Wolverine. Still in his face, glaring.
      Rouge. Still grinning at her clever move.
      Gambit. Going through Magnetos pockets.

      Boo???

      Where was Boo???

      �Boo?� He called,

      �OH MY G_D �Jean come quickly� It was Rouge who had
      now landed on the far side of the warehouse and was
      gesturing to the floor.

      The team ran towards her, skidding to a halt when they
      finally saw what the problem was.

      On the ground, next to a wall riddled with Magneto�s
      bullet shrapnel, laid Boo.

      �Is he..?� Asked Storm in an unfinished question.

      Jean knelt down to feel for his pulse, quickly
      stepping back as a groggy Boo stood up.

      �He�s all right� Scott practically crowed in delight.

      Boo looked around dazed and stepped forward to his
      beaming teammates.

      An audible collective gasp was heard as his uniform
      fell from him in tattered shreds.
      The shrapnel missing him, but cutting the leather into
      ribbons.

      Boo blinked as the X-men stared.

      �Told you so.� Logan stated smugly.

      A small feather slowly drifted to the ground.

      �Puck?� Said Boo.

      Scott fainted.

      �OH MY G_D�HE�S A GIANT CHICKEN!!!!� Jean practically
      screamed.

      Gambit handed Logan $20.


      Boo was never seen again after that night.

      The X-Men gave him a lift home after they had dragged
      Scott aboard the Blackbird and had sedated Jean.

      Xavier had decided that it was best if Boo left the
      mansion as many of the children actually enjoyed
      Kentucky and might find it awkward with him in the
      same lounge.


      3 YEARS LATER

      �Ahhhh Mr President, We have a request from an
      Xavier�s Institute on Mutant registration rights�can I
      let him in?�

      �Puck�

      THE END


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