FIC: Logan the Easter Bunny 1/2
- Title: Logan the Easter Bunny 1/2
Archive Rights: Mutual Admiration, WRFA, XMMFFC, etc.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters abused in this story. Easter
belongs to JC, Jerry Fallwell, and Tinky Winky.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Author's notes: I originaly wrote this as a fic for "That '70s Show." Yes,
I am plagerizing from myself, I am a bad, bad person. The format is a tad
different than my normal style, then again my normal style isn't really
normal, so nevermind.
The X-Men Lounge...
Scott. Remy, and Bobby are laughing so hard they are crying. The view
shifts to the subject of their glee, a very pissed Wolverine. He is sitting
with his arms crossed hard across his chest and a murderous look across his
face. More importantly he is dressed in a pink terrycloth Easter Bunny
costume complete with rabit ears and a fluffy tail.
Remy: Oh man, how did you get roped into that?!
Logan: (in a dangerous tone) Marie.
Bobby: Oh! Rogue pulled a fast one on Logan, again!
Scott: Yeah, man she has got you so whipped, and you're not even dating her!
Remy: Oui, mon frae!
Logan: You assholes better shut it, or I'll shove some metal through your
Bobby: Oh, boy that would be a sight too see. Peter Rabbit goin' all
Scott: So Mr. Cottontail, how did this happen?
Logan sighs in resignation and begins his tail of woe....
Logan: Ok, it all started with this stupid game.....
Earlier that day in the X-mansion....
Logan, Rogue, and Jubilee are sitting around with nothing to do. Logan is
staring at Rogue, who is filing her nails, completely oblivious. Jubilee
watches him, and a lightbulb goes off in her head.
Jubilee: Dudes, you like wanna play a little game?
Logan: (still staring at Rogue) What kind of game?
Jubilee: Well it's called Total Truth. We each write down one dare, it can
be as embarrasing as you want it to be and stick it in a hat. Then we each
draw one out. We then play total truth. We ask each other questions and
you have to answer honestly, when you get a question the you refuse to
answer, you take your dare, read it, and HAVE to do it.
Rogue: Sounds interesting.
Logan: I'm in.
The three busily write down their dares and stick them in a
hat. They draw them out and place them behind them.
Logan smirked the entire time thinking that nobody could out dare him.
Hindsight is 20/20, I'll tell you that for free, Logan however, didn't even
think about the consequences, after all, it was Jubilee and Rogue, how bad
could their questions be?
Jubilee: Rogue, wanna start?
Rogue: Jubilee, what's your most embarassing moment?
Jubilee: When Bobby depantsed me last year in Ms. Munroe's class.
Jubilee: Wolvie, did you nail Betsy?
Logan: No, and I wouldn't want too. Weak question Jubilee.
Logan: Marie, what color are your underwear? He smirked, certain that he'd
already gotten her out of the game. Marie wouldn't answer a question like
that, but he wanted to get a rise out of her.
His jaw dropped when she simply lifted the waist band of her jeans and
Rogue: Green. Would you like to check Logan? She asked sweetly.
Logan: No, I uh just, uh, I didn't think you'd answer my
Rogue: Well, surprise, surprise I did. Ok, so Jubes, how many times a week
do you and Remy do it?
Jubilee and Logan: Rogue/Marie!
Rogue: What, I can ask any question can't I?
Jubiless: Um yeah. Ok, like 15.
Rogue: lets out a whistle, and Logan just grunts.
Jubilee: Wolvie, how many times do you masturbate a night?
Rogue and Logan: Jubilee!
Junes: Hey, he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want too. He can always
punk out and go for the dare.
Logan: I'll answer the damn question. Um, probably
Rogue: Whoa! (In a teasing tone) He's certainly a strapping young lad!
Logan shifts uncomfortably in his seat and tries to think of a REALLY good
question to ask Marie).
Logan: Ok, marie. (He gets an EVIL look across his face) What was the
strangest thing that you and- oh, damnit I can't ask that! What do you
usally sleep in? Logan lifts his beer up to drink, disgusted with himself.
Logan spits out the drink he had just taken.
Rogue: Something wrong Logan?
Logan: No, it's uh, I just kind of expected you to say, a nightgown with
unicorns on it or something.
Rogue:(brightly) Well, you learn something new everyday!
Jubes: I'll say.
Marie: Oh, good it's Jubes' turn! Have you ever giv-
Jubes: Ok, I'm done now! She pulls out her dare and reads it aloud.
Jubes: Rub cheese under Scott's bed. (rolls her eyes) That was weak Logan.
Logan: Turn it over.
Jubes(turns paper over) While Scott and Jeanie are in it!
Logan and Rogue laugh, while Jubes tries to stay mad at the two.
Logan: Ok, so it's my turn now. Marie, have you ever.... (he trailed off)
been to Disneyland? He finished lamely.
Jubes stared at him, this wasn't Logan. Logan ALWAYS won at these kinds of
things. Yet here he was asking Rogue extremely simplistic questions.
Rogue: Yes. (She grew serious and lowered her eyes before asking in a quiet
voice.) You know that one dream that you have where you and me are in the
Logan nods his head affermatively.
Rogue: Well, at the end it always looks like you want to ask me something.
What is it that you are trying to say?
Logan: Uhhh..... He wanted to answer her, but not with Jubes sitting right
Logan: Ok, fine I cave, I'll do the stupid bet.
Marie looked slightly disapointed but didn't have much time to think about
it as Logan started yelling.
Logan: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FUCKING BET IS THIS! THIS IS JUST GODDAMN
EVIL! DRESSING UP AS THE FREAKIN' EASTER FUCKIN' BUNNY?!
Marie and Jubes both burst out laughing at the mental immage.
Jubes: Its your own stupid fault, you couldn't even ask her a real question!
Serves you right dude!
Marie looking very pleased with herself turned to the still Seething
Wolverine. Completely oblivious to his anger, a bubbly Marie turned to
Logan and proceeded to tell him all about his upcoming adventure.
Marie: Oh, it'll be perfect! You'll wear this cute, pink, Easter bunny
costume, and be surrounded by cute little kids all day, taking pictures!
And I'll be there all day in my cute little chick outfit. It'll be so much
fun! I've gotta run to the store and get your costume! Oh, you are such a
sweatheart for doing this for the mall! She kissed him on the cheek and
bounded out the door.
Logan to Jubes: I am such a pansy! What the hell is wrong with me? I can't
believe I have to spend the day in a damn rabbit suite promoting a holiday
that the government exploits to make people damn fat! I'm a man damnit!
I'm not supposed to be dressed as a freakin' rabbit!
Jubes: (getting up to leave) Dude, love makes people do fucked up things.
Logan: (growling) What the hell does that mean?
Jubes just shrugged her shoulders and exited the room, leaving Logan to
sulk over his fate.
Back in the loungee.....
Scott: Logan, you are such a pushover!
Logan: shut it One-eye, or I'll tell Jean all about that little dream you
had about Storm.
Scott: Then I'll tell Rogue about you crying when she went out on that date
with St. John.
Logan: Asshole, you're dead. Logan in all his pink terryclothed glory,
lunges at Scott and they wrestle on the ground. Rogue enters the basement
and runs over to the two men.
Rogue: Scott! Stop it, you'll get Logan's costume all dirty!
Remy: Yeah Scott you'll get the petite-fairy-man all messed up!
Rogue: Shut up Remy, you're just jealous that YOU couldn't look sexy as a
Remy: OH! I would make a muy magnifico rabbit! Logan, give Remy the
Logan: No. If Marie says you'd be a lame looking rabbit, then that's all
there is too it.
Rogue: Thank you Logan, not let's go! There are so many excited kids waiting
to see you!
So, Marie dressed as a little chick, and Logan left the basement to the
mirth of their friends and teamm ates.
Scott: Ladies and gentleman, Logan the Easter Bunny has left the building!
"The Sweeter the sin, the bitter the taste, in my mouth."-U2
" I see a girl of the night with a baby in her hand
Under an old streetlight next to a garbage can
Now she put her kid away and she's gonna get ahead
She hates her life and what she's done with it
That's one more kid that'll never go to school
Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool"
-Rockin' in the Free World, Neil Young
"In this life, there are nothing but posibilities."-Empire Records
Lucas: Waren, look what you took. Rap, metal, rap, metal, Whitney Houston?
Waren: Its for my girlfriend.
Lucas: Sure it is. A guy like you needs to diminsh his criminal impulses,
not magnify them!
- Empire Records
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