Okay, this isn't fine literature, but it gets things
Title: A Little Gossip
Author: Victoria P. [victoria_p@...
Summary: Bobby explains it all to Hank
Series: Unspoken RR# 30
Timeline: Concurrent with/slightly after "Confessional"
Disclaimer: All X-Men characters belong to Marvel and
Fox; this piece of fan-written fiction intends no
infringement on any copyrights.
Archive: Lists, Muse's Fool; jenn's Indulgence RR Index
Feedback: Share the sunshine, bubele.
Notes: So, Khaki, I believe you were going to write us
some Hank now?
Thanks to Jen, Pete, Dot, and Meg. And to Andariel for
the Cosmo idea. ;)
A Little Gossip
Hank made his way upstairs, whistling the jaunty "Spring"
concerto from "The Four Seasons," putting the odd noise
he'd heard down to the local cats, which loved to wreak
havoc whenever someone left the garage door open.
A month in Switzerland had been rejuvenating. He'd hiked
the Alps, stood on Mont Blanc and quoted Shelley to the
winds, much to the amusement of his fellow mountaineers.
By the time the conference he was speaking at rolled
around, he was as relaxed and refreshed as he could ever
And then, oh, the discoveries he presented. He thought
perhaps -- though one didn't like to be overconfident --
that his name would be on the short list for the Nobel
Prize this year, joining such luminaries as Watson and
Crick in the annals of genetics history.
In such an exuberant frame of mind, he was prepared to
overlook the fact that Bobby was lounging in his bed,
eating Twinkies and watching cartoons. But he wasn't
going to let Bobby know that.
"Robert. What, pray tell, are you doing here, no doubt
getting crumbs in my bed?"
"Hank! Hankmeister! Hank-a-roonie!" Bobby jumped up and
embraced his friend fervently. In the tumult of the past
few weeks, Bobby had longed for Hank's even keel and keen
sense of observation, as well as his dry wit, in helping
pierce the layers of melodrama surrounding the mansion
and its inhabitants.
"It is good to see you, too, Bobby," Hank said, setting
down his suitcase and returning the hug.
Bobby bounced back onto the bed, acting more like eight
than eighteen. "You wouldn't *believe* the shit that's
gone on around here since you left, Hank!" He took Hank's
look of friendly curiosity as permission to launch into
"Miss Rogue ended her engagement with Mr. Summers," he
began, a smug smile overtaking his face at Hank's start
"Bobby, are you sure?"
"Yup. Though they might be getting back together. They
were smooching in the hall a little while ago."
"They seemed so happy when I left. Whatever could be the
"If you'd let me tell the story, I'll get to that."
"Yes, thank you."
Hank sat down and accepted the golden treat as Bobby
began talking again. "Okay, so about a week and a half
ago, this guy Logan shows up on the doorstep with this
redheaded doctor -- a real knockout, she is -- who's also
a telepath. She's all freaking out about hearing voices
and stuff, so of course the Prof takes right to her.
"Two days later, Miss Rogue and Mr. Summers have this big
blowout. You know how she gets." Hank nodded. He did
indeed. "And she went running off to the train station,
determined to go away for a while. Except that Magneto
was there, waiting for her, with some of his freaky
"Exactly. They got hold of Miss Rogue, and the X-Men went
to rescue her, along with the new doctor -- Jean Grey's
her name -- and the growly guy, Logan. I don't know what
really happened, but Logan *touched* Miss Rogue on top of
the Statue of Liberty and saved her life. He's a
"A superhealer?" Hank asked excitedly.
"Yeah. But let's not get sidetracked here, Blue. I know
you're going to want to run all sorts of tests on him,
but let me finish the story.
"So Miss Rogue absorbs his healing power -- and his
growling, apparently -- and things get even *worse*
between her and Mr. Summers."
"Bobby, why would that make things worse between them?
I'd think Scott would be thrilled that this stranger was
willing to risk his life to ... Oh. Oh, I see. Scott's
upset that he was not the one able to rescue her. He
blames himself, no doubt."
Bobby shrugged. "I don't know, though that's probably
part of it. Scott feels guilty for breathing, half the
time. All I know is, Scott and Jean Grey were circling
each other like dogs in heat and Miss Rogue went
*swimming* with Logan."
"Rogue went swimming? In the lake? In October?"
Bobby nodded vigorously. "And none of us was around to
see it, dammit." He flushed and Hank grinned. Bobby's
crush on Rogue was no secret to anyone who'd been at the
school for any length of time.
"Anyhow, she gave Scott back the ring, and Jean's shacked
up with Warren--"
Hank snorted delicately. "I might have known Warren would
be involved in this little drama. He's always had a
fondness for redheads."
"Mr. Summers, too, apparently. Except that Kitty saw him
and Miss Rogue in the hall about an hour ago, and they
were making out like, well, like teenagers."
"This is all very interesting, Bobby, but why are you so
excited about it?"
"Because I bet they'd get back together. Jubes is running
a pool - she thinks Miss Rogue is going to jump into the
sack with the hairy guy," he snorted disdainfully, "and
that Scott's going to go after the redhead."
"And you disagree?"
"To the tune of forty bucks. Miss Rogue's not the kind to
fall into bed with some hairy, claw guy--"
"Claw guy?" Hank interrupted, but Bobby ignored him.
"-- just because she and Scott are fighting. And you know
how Warren is. So I think it's going to be Miss Rogue and
Scott, back together, and Warren and Jean Grey--"
"And what about Candace?"
Bobby waved his hand. "Candy puts up with all Warren's
crap. Jean Grey is just another one of his projects. He
calls her the Drowned Kitten."
Hank nodded. Warren definitely had a bent for rescuing
damsels in distress, but he usually went back to his
girlfriend once the damsel got back on her feet.
"And you felt the need to impart this information to me
Bobby dropped his eyes. "I was hoping you'd talk to Miss
Rogue in the morning and find out what's going on."
"Well, you know, she talks to you. I know she does. And,
and, it would be nice for once if Jubes and Johnny lost,
you know? Kitty and I--" he stopped abruptly and Hank was
"You and Kitty what, Bobby? Please tell me Kitty hasn't
been sneaking into Scott's room or something of that
Bobby flushed. "Ah, no, not exactly." He felt it prudent
not to mention how Kitty had planned on doing just that
in the morning, and leaving behind a copy of "Cosmo" to
help Scott solve his romantic problems.
"So, you see, Hank, you have to help us out!"
Hank sighed. "You will not intrude on Rogue or the
newcomers?" Bobby shook his head vigorously. "All right.
I will see if Rogue will open up to me in the morning.
But now, I'm jetlagged and would like to sleep in a
crumb-free bed, so take yourself off." Bobby scrambled
off the bed, his mission accomplished. "And I mean it,
Robert. No interference on your part. Do *not* bother
"Yeah, fine, Hank. Thanks!"
As he left the room, he could be heard to mutter (if
anyone had been there to hear him), "He didn't say
anything about not bothering Scott."
A slow, wicked smile curled his lips. Operation Cosmo
would go into effect tomorrow at oh nine hundred hours.
Willow: "Why should I trust you?"
Riley: "Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest
Willow: "I've seen honest faces before. They usually come
attached to liars."
_Buffy the Vampire Slayer_
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