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FIC: The Crackelberry Tales

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  • Autumn Biggins
    Title: The Cracleberry Tales Author: Auutmn E-mail: eddievedderismylife@hotmail.com Category: Sillyfic!!! Rating: AI for Absolute Insanity Pairing:
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 8, 2001
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      Title: The Cracleberry Tales

      Author: Auutmn

      E-mail: eddievedderismylife@...

      Category: Sillyfic!!!

      Rating: AI for Absolute Insanity

      Pairing: Rogue/Logan, kind of.

      Summary: Uh, Rogue and Jubilee talk out some of Rogue�s more creative
      thoughts involving Logan. Ah-hem, Mind. Gutter. OUT!

      Jubilee didn�t know what to do. Her best friend had gotten what she
      wanted, right? �Dude, what�s the problemo, isn�t this what you always
      wanted?�

      �I think so, but Jubes, I had the weirdest like vision about this.....


      Rogue and her baby were peacefully lying on the bed that she shares with
      Logan. All of a sudden said male burst through the door with a blonde woman
      who is obviously a stripper.

      �Logan?�

      �Oh, hey babe. Hey could you take the rugrat somewhere else for about 15
      minutes? I met Chrissy at a bar, and I�ve just gotta fuck her.�

      �LOGAN!� Don�t the wedding vows you took mean anything?

      �Oh those things. Uh, well you see Marie, it goes something like this.....

      (Logan bursts into song)

      When I said that I�d be faithful
      When I promised I�d be true
      When I swore that I could never
      Be with anyone but you
      When I told you that I loved you
      With those tender words that I spoke
      I was only kidding,
      Now, can�t you take a joke?

      �Okay chica, you really need to rest that overactive imagination of yours.�

      �Kay, but that�s not even the only one I had!�
      �Rogue, I know I�m going to regret this, but what were the other ones like?

      �Well......................



      Rogue is walking outside and she notices Logan, duffel bad in toe hopping
      onto Scott�s bike. He�s just about to kick it to life when,

      �Ah Logan, ya going on a trip sweetie?�

      �Oh yeah. Look it�s been fun and all Marie, but I�m peelin� out now. See
      ya.�

      �Um okay, what the hell happened to what you told me last night?

      Logan roles his eyes, �Look Marie�

      When I said that I need you baby
      When I told you that I really care
      When I said that I can�t live without you
      When I said I�d follow you anywhere
      When I said you could always trust me
      When I said I�d never leave you flat
      Well guess what? I was only kidding baby
      I can�t believe you fell for that, you�re so gullible!

      At this point, Remy, Hank, Scott, and Bobby come onto the scene dressed
      like Logan, and start dancing in a freakish backstreet-boy from hell style.
      Logan heads into the middle singing the lead vocals with the other four
      backing him up.

      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      (I was only kidding) You thought that was for real?
      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      Now I�m sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains
      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      (I was only kidding) Baby baby, I was...
      (I was only kidding)
      Well I guess I got you pretty good! Now listen......

      �Okay, Rogue babe, that would never happen. I mean Logan would NEVER say
      �peel out.��

      �Thanks Jubes. I really gotta stop sniffing that airplane glue.�

      �What?!�

      �Huh? Oh nevermind.�

      Jubilee shot her friend a
      my-God-I-am-only-humoring-you-because-I-know-you�re-insane look. She kindly
      gestured for her to continue.

      � Jubes, I don�t know what to do. Every time I see Logan I run away
      screaming because I think something horrible is going to happen. Its
      starting to really affect me, ya know?�

      �Uh-huh, um there aren�t any more are there?�

      �Oh, okay the one I had today was the most depressing one yet.�

      �Oh, joy, the rest have been just peachy Rogue.�

      �Shut up, just listen Jubes. This one is about me and Logan getting
      married.


      Reverend Quacker stood at the altar and turned to address the couple before
      him.

      �Do you, Marie Angelica Gordon take Logan, uh yeah, to be your loftily
      wedded husband?�

      Turning to face him, Rogue�s radiant face beamed as she uttered the two
      most sacred words known to man, �I do.�

      �Cool. Now do you Logan, take whats-her-face to be your wife?�

      �Actually. Marie, I have something to tell you.� Logan stated as he turned
      to his bride-to-be, �hit it Scooter.�

      Music suddenly filled the church, and Logan began singing:

      When I said you ought to marry me
      When I said that we should settle down
      Well I was pullin� your leg there honey
      I was just foolin� around
      You see-I never meant to hurt anyone
      I was only kidding baby
      Why don�t you put that gun down?
      Let�s talk this over

      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      (I was only kidding) I was only kidding
      (I was only kidding) I didn�t lie to you!
      I was only kidding.. Yes indeed
      (I was only kidding) Baby baby, you know
      (I was only kidding) Hey!

      �Rogue, chica two words. Psycho. Therapy. And this time, not for Logan.�

      �But Jubes, what the hell-�

      �Hey Marie, wanna go on a ride?�

      Rogue jumps up in terror. �Oh God, no! Just, you, just, you stay away
      from me! Just AHHHHHHHHH!!!� she bit out as she fled the scene leaving a
      very puzzled Logan behind.

      He turned an accusatory stare on Jubilee. �What. Did. You. Do?�

      �Who there Kujo, I did nothing. Just, um he-he. Rogue listens to some
      sort of subliminal-sleeping tape, and uh Kitty and I decided it would kinda
      be funny to slip in a �Wierd Al� tape in there, and uh just, um I really,
      need to go now!� Jubilee, who valued her life immediately, took after her
      friend.

      Logan slumped in the chair to for a plan. Part one: find out who the hell
      Weird Al was, he had to be horrible if Marie was apparently mistaking Logan
      for that guy. Part two: kill him. It was a good plan, and Logan wasn�t
      kidding.


      ____________________________________________________________

      "You're fucking up my chi."-Stanely "Swordfish"

      " There's a thin line between 'hoby' and 'mental illness.'-Dave Barry


      "Your soul is like your appendix, I don't even use mine." -Kelso, That '70s
      Show

      " Damnit. Gilligan screwed up. Gilligan is always screwing up, they should
      just kill him."
      - Red Forman, That '70s Show









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