FIC: An Affair I Can't Quite Remember 1/1
- Author: Kelsey
Rating: R for mature situations and descriptions, I guess
Feedback: Sure, why not?
Archiving: Why anyone would want this drivel I don't know, but if you DO want
it please ask!
Disclaimer: These characters are so not mine! My life's goal is to meet Stan
Notes: I don't think there's such place as Stop 'n Go Weddings, and I highly
doubt you can get married nude there. Everyone in this fic is an adult, over
twenty-one. This is my response to the Wedding Challenge. It hasn't been
BETAed 'cause I wrote it last night. I'm trying to see how many people I can
annoy in one fic while also cramming in as many of the Challenge requirements
as I can! Forgive me, it's been a weird weekend so far!!!
He woke in a bed that had a mirror above it. His head hurt a lot,
and it wasn't a stretch to figure out what he had done. Drunk. In Las Vegas.
"I think I saw this episode on 'MustSee TV,' He grumbled as he rolled
over to look at his bride. White hair. That meant Storm right? Storm was
okay, he could be married to Storm. Then the person next to him rolled over
and he realized that the white hair was only a streak. Rogue. Crap, he was
married to Rogue. Logan would kill him. It occurred to Scott that quite
possibly Jean would also be less than thrilled.
Rogue woke with a wicked hangover and a wedding ring. Crap. You'd
really think she could hold her liquor better than this
" Morning... honey," a voice said next to her. It sounded
"What the hell happened last night?" She demanded as she rolled over
and looked at her husband.
"I...I...I have no idea," Scott admitted. "The last thing I remember
was going downstairs to find Jean..."
Jean had been curled up on Logan's lap, and both Scott and Rogue saw
the scene as anything but friendly. Rogue had seen the couple first and in
her hurt turned towards the bar. Scott had arrived on the scene only seconds
later. He saw Rogue sit down at the bar and opted to follow her. Apparently
that was his first mistake of the evening.
Rogue and Scott had gotten companionably drunk, commiserating over
their lovers betrayal. After a while one of them head gotten tired of
breathing stale smoke and Scott suggested a walk.
"We decided to go for a walk!" Scott exclaimed.
"Yeah. An' we saw Storm, Jubes an'Kitty. An' we saw a cute l'il
When the four women and Scott, all more than a little tipsy, were
standing on the sidewalk eying the chapel Remy and Bobby approached. They
joined in the eyeing of the chapel. Bobby decided he and Kitty should get
married, and the rest of the group felt no more than a trace of apprehension
at the idea of marriage.
The group entered the cheesy chapel and Scott charged Bobby and Kitty's
wedding to the Professor's credit card. The wedding was uneventful, other
than the ordeal of picking the least offensive of many offensive wedding
"What happened after the wedding?" Scott asked, er, his wife.
"Hank came in lookin' for twinkies," Rogue reminded him.
"Right. He thought the chapel was a Stop 'n Go, instead of Stop 'n Go
After Hank realized that he was in a chapel, not a convenience store
Bobby proudly showed him Kitty's wedding ring. This annoyed Beast more than
the lack of twinkies. Kitty tried to explain that the wedding
was...spontaneous, and that they hadn't left Hank out on purpose.
Hank was not satisfied so he and Bobby agreed to have a wrestling match
on the large table in the chapel parlor. After the fight, which no one won
because Bobby fell off the table and Kitty sat on him so he couldn't get back
up, the chapel served the large group shots of...something and suggested
"Storm an' Hank got married! She said she'd always had acrush on
Gonzo... an' Hank'd always wanted to do some experiment with lightnin',"
Rogue giggled at the memory of the Goddess and the Genius.
After the proposal the bride searched with no luck for a dress that
wasn't singularly awful. Failing to find one Storm began to cry. Kitty
thought it was a bad omen to cry right before one's wedding so she tried to
think of a solution.
"What was Kitty's idea again Rogue?" Scott asked.
"Um ... she took off her dress and gave it to Storm," Rogue explained.
So Kitty witnessed Beast and Storm'swedding wearing nothing but a
smile. She'd been dressed for Las Vegas heat, and underwear had not been
conducive to her outfit.
The problem arose when a very intoxicated Remy got the idea to ... milk
Kitty. Jubilee had grabbed Remy in displeasure and Remy got a different idea.
"That's when she grabbed Remy and they interrupted Beast an' Storm's
wedding," Rogue explained.
"Oh. Now it makes sense."
"No. Not really," Rogue sighed. "Maybe we should get up and find the
others." She attempted to get up but fell back into the bed. "Or maybe not."
"Okay. So Storm and Hank got married, and Jubilee decided she and Remy
needed to get married so Remy would stop, uh,trying to milk Kitty," Scott
reminded his new wife.
Jubilee had loved the idea of getting married, until she saw the truly
hideous dresses. Not only, were they not yellow, they were not white. They
were hideous, tacky pastels with bows. *Big* ones. Jubilee decided that in
celebration of a new life she would wear only her birthday suit. Feeling left
out, Remy opted for the same state of nudity.
That was when the fake Elvis walked in, sat down at the piano, and
began playing the "Chicken Dance." Remy and Jubilee had "Chicken Danced"
naked down the aisle.
"So ... then we got married huh?" Scott asked Rogue.
"I guess so. I don't really remember... I think Remy brought out a
bottle of tequila to toast all the weddings!" Rogue could practically
visualize the parlor of the chapel filled with drunk and partially clothed
"But they wouldn't let us have any unless we got married," Scott
sighed, "and it was really good tequila." Rogue pouted.
"So you married me for tequila?" she asked.
"Well ... yes. Why did you marry me?" Scott asked. Rogue thought for a
"Ah, well ... it was really hot in the chapel. And just takin' my
clothes off seemed rude, so..."
"You married me so you could take your clothes off?" Scott and Rogue
looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting in hysterical
laughter. "Maybe this marriage might work after all!"
Jean and Logan sat downstairs at theAll-You-Can-Eat buffet. Hank and
Storm were the first of the group to trickle in, they were holding hands.
Jean cursed her hangover and cradled her cup of coffee in her hands.
Bobby and Kitty wandered in next, Kitty still yawning. "Man" Bobby
announced, grinning at Hank and Storm, "That was some night!"
Jubilee and Remy came downstairs shortly after Bobby and Kitty. "The
'Chicken Dance'," Jubilee muttered,"I can't believe the 'Chicken Dance' is my
wedding song!" Remy just grinned at his bride.
"Wedding song?" Jean asked. "Did you say you and Remy got married last
"Uh Jean?" Scott asked coming into the room slightly behind Rogue,
"They aren't the only ones who gotmarried last night."
"You?" Jean asked. "But you're my fiancée!"
"Yeah, but he's mah husband,"Rogue informed her coolly.
"Summers?" Logan asked."Summers? You married Scooter?!"
"Well who else was she gonna marry?" Storm asked. "The rest of the boys
were already taken."
Jean turned around to look at her friend."You mean you got married?
"That is indeed what I meant."Jean turned to her right.
"And you, Kitty, you marriedBobby?"
"Yeah," Kitty blushed and giggled slightly. "I guess you could say me
and Bobby started this whole alter dash!"
Jean sighed. "There is only one thing left to do, you guys can all get
Ororo and Hank looked at each other.
Jubilee and Remy met each others eyes.
Bobby and Kitty stared at each other.
Scott and Rogue held each others gaze. All at once the couples
exclaimed in unison, "No!"
Jean glared at the people she had considered friends. She grabbed
Logan's arm and pulled him up with surprising force."That does it! We're
getting married!" The sound of laughter followed Jean and Logan out of the
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