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fic;all i ever wanted

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  • becky lee
    hey people my third fanfic hope u like it feedback would be nice and special thanks to victoria_p for beta readin it 4 me cheers becky aka eternity Title;
    Message 1 of 2 , Jul 26, 2001
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      hey people
      my third fanfic hope u like it
      feedback would be nice and special thanks to victoria_p for beta readin it 4
      me
      cheers becky aka eternity

      Title; Linen And The Wind
      Author; Eternity/aka bec
      Rating; PG 13 I guess, for nudity
      Summary; Its time the unsaid was said between Logan and Rogue
      Disclaimer; I don't own em, damn it!
      Notes; Inspired by Wei Hui who said, " When the heart bleeds it can bleed
      enough to kill you."
      ****


      The wind chimes.

      She'd thought they were a nice idea when she bought them, kind of romantic
      and mystical, like the distant laughter of fairies. But at two am, she
      concluded they were just one more thing keeping her awake.

      The rest all being Logan.

      She couldn't place her finger on the problem. He'd been back for over a year
      since he took off the first time, and in that time he'd only disappeared for
      a total of two months. But when he came back from his last trip, a week ago,
      something had changed. Gone was the sweet brother/sister ease between them,
      no more long conversations and playful fights. Now all that remained were
      awkward silences and avoidance tactics. The entire mansion played witness,
      over the past seven days, to the slow and agonising breakdown of the
      relationship of the once inseparable pair.

      Rogue attempted to still the theories swimming in her head as she rose from
      her bed. With her own room towards the dense back of the school she was no
      longer confined to robes that covered every inch of skin and took liberty
      and confidence in sleeping entirely naked.

      Except, of course, for Wolverine's tags. A habit, no matter how hard she
      tried, she couldn't break herself of.

      She crossed the room to the window, where the wind chimes hung from the iron
      curtain rail. Cream linen curtains and drapes of white muslin filtered
      shafts of temperate blue moonlight that dappled her pale flesh, as she
      pulled over the wooden chair from her desk. She pushed herself up on shaky
      legs, blinking rapidly from lack of sleep. She steadied herself by holding
      the curtains with one hand, and fiddled with the chimes' tie with the other.
      The cool summer breeze moved the curtains in floating motion as she
      concentrated on the double-knot. She was increasingly irritated by her
      inability to loosen it.

      They were coming down if it took all night.

      Whilst fighting with the string, her mind wandered. She thought of the only
      time she'd seen Logan that day, as she passed him in the corridor in the
      afternoon. He wouldn't even look at her, no matter how much she pleaded with
      her eyes. Why was he punishing her?

      As she pondered the question she lost her footing, falling off the chair,
      pulling the curtains, the rail and the blasted chimes to the floor with a
      loud thud. "Damn it," she muttered as she clambered to her feet, lightly
      kicking the now silent chimes. She'd begun to rub her hip and thigh
      searching for bruising she was sure would show tomorrow, when she stopped,
      all at once aware she was no longer alone.

      She turned to the window beside her. Studying the garden, she traced the
      outlines of the trees in the outside clearing, until her gaze fell upon a
      familiar figure. There under her favourite tree he was standing. Surrounded
      by falling cascades of white blossoms, staring up at her as if in a trance.
      Mesmerised.

      Logan.

      Simply leaning against the tree trunk, looking at her with those eyes. Pure
      hazel, burning bright in the twilight. Rogue stood as if struck dumb by his
      presence. She looked down at herself, taking in the expanse of naked skin,
      and then back to him. Managing to tear her eyes from his reverent stare she
      moved to her right, accompanied only by the sound of her own deep breathing,
      until she stood in-front of the large, glass, bay doors next to her window.

      She lifted her eyes to his again and he shifted to stand upright,
      overwhelmed by the sight of a now fully visible, naked Marie, just a pane of
      glass and fifteen feet separating them. She watched as his eyes absorbed
      her body, emanating carnal need from every inch of his own, causing lavish
      ripples of wantonness to flow through her like a waterfall. Rogue had never
      known anything so erotic. She involuntarily leant forward to press her
      forehead and palms to the chilling glass, revelling in the support of
      something solid in a world where everything around her was rapidly beginning
      to dissolve. Watching him then, his silhouette was enveloped in mist. Rogue
      smiled realising it was her own breath against the glass door. She watched
      as lingering eyes feasted on her body and his composure changed. His face
      tensed and his large hands turned to fists at his sides, his whole physique
      taking on a persona rigid with sensual passion. As the wind whistled through
      the trees outside and the cool air prickled her skin, causing goosebumps,
      Rogue grew wary of how vulnerable she was and gathered the linen curtains at
      her feet to wrap around herself. Still looking at the unmoving man outside,
      she mustered all her courage as she turned the door handle and took a small
      step out onto the surrounding stone porch.

      The freezing stone beneath her bare feet was a rude awakening. She wasn't
      dreaming. She continued down the steps to the welcoming warmth of the soft
      grass of the lawn. All the time Logan's stare never wavered, holding her
      perfect form as she moved closer. She forced herself to come to a
      standstill a mere arms-length from him. Curiosity, lust and fear radiated
      from her as she nervously wrung the linen in her hands. She could barely
      hold still.

      And that was how they stood, for what seemed like hours. Staring at each
      other in quiet contemplation, thinking of what should be said and what
      shouldn't, what needed to be heard and what didn't, but all that filled the
      deathly silence was the occasional rustle of leaves and falling blossoms
      from the dancing branches of nearby trees.

      She spoke. For she knew he wouldn't begin.

      "What are you doin' here?"

      Even if she didn't really want to know the answer, it was the only thing she
      could think of to say. Every other question carried too many consequences or
      was too hard to ask.

      "I just wanted to say�goodbye."

      "Are you runnin' again?" She could not help the tight tone of her voice.

      "Yes."

      You wouldn't think that one, simple word could cause such devastation but
      you'd be wrong, and in that second Rogue could feel the nausea rising in her
      throat, her stomach turning and her lungs constricting.

      She didn't want to play anymore.

      "Goodbye."

      She had said it calmly and quickly and turned to walk away. But he was
      faster. He reached out, laying two hands on her shoulders, stopping her and
      moving so his body was closely fit to hers from behind. She shook from the
      sensations caused by his leather gloves as his mouth hovered by her ear.

      "I was hopin', maybe you'd like to run with me?"

      He didn't know what he was doing. The exquisite pain he was causing. Rogue
      turned in his arms and focused on the face in front of her. The same face
      she had dreamt of every night since she'd first met him. She could never
      imagine saying no to this beast, this man. Yet she was going to.

      "I'm a little tired of runnin' Logan. Send me a postcard though." She hadn't
      meant them to be, but her words were soaked in bitterness and she could tell
      by the look he gave her, she had stung him. He took a step back, dropping
      his warm hands from her cold shoulders. He closed his eyes as if composing
      himself and Rogue couldn't be sure but she sensed a flicker of anger.
      Logan's eyes snapped open and as he fixed her with his most intense stare,
      Rogue's heart skipped a beat.

      "Fine, kid. You stay here with the wonder geeks. Waste your life on their
      stupid crusades, just don't come crying to be when you realised you've
      ruined your life!"

      He still had a talent for being cruel when he wanted to be, but he had never
      wanted to be cruel to her. He was hoping she'd see she was better off with
      him, that he cared more for her than anyone else ever could, but all he was
      doing was pushing her further away, and it was killing him.

      Her eyes rimmed with tears but she wouldn't cry in front of him, so she did
      the only thing she could do. He didn't understand that all she would ever
      receive from him was fantasies of kisses that would never happen and all she
      could ever give him were realities of looks filled with longing. And even
      she couldn't fall prey to that kind of sweet torture. So she did to him what
      he was doing to her. She would hurt him enough to drive him away. She could
      bear that, survive that. Alone again with her pain. She fought to speak and
      drank in his eyes as she spoke.

      "Life?" she whispered "What would you know about that? You spend so much
      time searchin' for your life, Logan, you forget to live it!"

      She bit her bottom lip and waited for his reaction. He watched her face and
      observed the panic glittering in her tear-laden eyes.

      "At least I'm not hiding from who I really am, confined to this place!" he
      growled as he raised his arms to illustrate the buildings around them.

      "And just what do you mean by that?" her voiced raised mimicking the heat in
      her body.

      "Chuck, One-Eye, always goin' on about mutants and humans living together as
      one community but look at 'em! They live in fortress with eight-foot walls
      and perimeter alarms, they call this place a school but they're the ones cut
      off from society! They call this place a haven but it's just another prison
      cell!"

      He finished with a snarl, out of breath, as Rogue listened, taking in his
      wild rant. The tears brimmed over and trailed down her face and all she
      could do was try to think of a way to end this without more waterworks.

      "And I know all about prison cells Logan!" She caught his attention with
      that and he turned towards her, eyebrow raised. "Where I am, Logan, makes
      no difference, because I will always be alone, cut-off from human contact!
      I'm held captive by my own body!�" Her voice broke as she fought back more
      inevitable sobbing, until calmly she finally finished "�. an eternity of
      solitary confinement."

      She wished she hadn't seen the look he gave her then, one of complete
      sadness, pity and ruination. He moved towards her with the stealth of a
      hunter and paused so close she could experience the divine caress of his
      breath on her face.

      "If you come with me, you'll never be alone. We could leave all our problems
      behind, run together." The low rumble sent more shivers through her body.
      Even if she awoke everyday to find him beside her, she suspected he wouldn't
      be there out of love but because he felt responsible or even sorry for her.
      She wanted more than that.

      "Let me give you some advice Logan. You can't outrun darkness if it's
      engraved inside you. If you're a killer, then you're a killer. Don't look to
      me for a miracle." She hated herself for saying it but if he stayed with her
      she'd only drag him down as well. If she couldn't save herself, then how
      could she save him too? Logan looked at her in disbelief before lifting his
      hands to hold her face, his voice taking on the strain of urgency.

      "What happened to you? When did you become so cynical and jaded? What
      happened to the Marie I knew and loved, the kind, innocent Marie who would
      never utter a hurtful word to anyone?" He sounded almost broken and Rogues'
      face contorted as she tried desperately to avoid his eyes.

      "She died, Logan. Consumed with rage by all the voices in her head. She lost
      hope long ago, now there's nothin' left to love�" she trailed off as she
      freed her face from his grasp and lowered her head to the ground, ashamed at
      her own admission of defeat.

      "No."

      He said it with such conviction, the determination to make her see she was
      still worth fighting for evident in his face.

      "She's still in here." As he spoke he placed his hand on her chest, over
      where her heart beat. She could feel his hand, hot and firm and real, even
      through the linen, burning away the barriers she had created to protect
      herself. He refused to believe she had become so easily disappointed and
      detached.

      "Why are you doin' this, Marie?" His voiced carried in the air as the wind
      tossed her hair to cloud her face.
      He wrapped a few strands in his fingers as he waited for her answer. Her
      verdict.

      "I'm not who I once was, Logan." He closed his eyes to the words. "Don't you
      see that. Look at me!"

      He opened his eyes to her request and examined the beautiful woman before of
      him. He'd been too self-involved with his quest for the past to ever really
      see her, but he lost himself then. In her graceful face, her windswept,
      tousled hair and her dark cavernous eyes. He cursed himself for not
      realising sooner that his future was wherever she was and not out on distant
      roads on his own. She had overthrown him.

      She watched Logan regard her, his alluring eyes absorbing every detail,
      every feature of her face, again cradled in his hands and she felt her heart
      ache for him. It hurt even more when through trembling lips he murmured, "I
      wanted you then and I want you now. Come with me."

      She considered the words for a moment, revelling in the sentiment. But
      unsure of its authenticity she whispered, "You're a loner Logan. I
      understand that and I won't be a burden to you. It's always been just you
      and it always will be. Here�" She pulled the dog tags from her elegant neck
      and freeing herself from his grip slipped them over his head, grazing his
      soft hair with slender, bare fingers.

      She knew all too well that sometimes we are cruel to the people we love to
      make ourselves feel better.

      Logan could hardly process the horror of the situation he was in. She
      thought that he thought she was just his charge and he was being noble,
      taking care of her. He craved her and loved her and was going to tell her if
      it was the last thing he ever did. He studied her face carefully as he
      pushed the words from his mouth.

      "I need you, Marie."

      The words haunted her; they rang in her ears and the lump in her throat rose
      again. Her eyes stung once more from the salt of oncoming tears.

      "Well you can't have me anymore!" she screamed as she spun around and
      started to pace back to her room. But he wouldn't let her go without a
      fight.

      "Don't you understand�" he roared as he grabbed the linen, spinning her
      around as he tore it from her body and threw it to the ground "Tags and
      promises or not, you belong to me!"

      She circled him in shock to behold his frenzied face, and he moved closer
      again but this time removed his gloves. "No, Logan�" she spluttered,
      freezing to the spot as he edged closer.

      "Why not?" It was barely a whisper as he stepped nearer to her again,
      drawing in deep breaths.

      "Because if you come too near, I'll hurt you. Just like everyone else. And I
      don't want to hurt you anymore and�" The rest of the sentence was lost as
      she ceased breathing at the brush of rough fingers up her rib cage, over the
      swell of her breast, past her shoulder and to outline her jaw. The touch
      was so soft, so quick and so light her powers didn't have time to react. She
      whimpered when he drew back his hand but fell silent when he voiced what he
      was thinking.

      "You could never hurt me, Marie, unless you tell me now that you don't love
      me. If you want me to stay here with you, I will. I would never hurt you,
      Marie, because�" he fought to swallow as he failed to express what he wanted
      so much to tell her. What he'd wanted to tell her since the first time he
      came back and she was still too young.

      Rogue knew what he was desperate to say and her faith in Logan was strong,
      but she needed proof. She brought her hand up to run through his thick hair
      and carefully stroked his sideburns as she held his eyes in a timeless
      embrace, imploring him to say it. He surveyed her angelic face with yearning
      and she felt him shaking but she was determined to draw the vow from his
      lips.

      "I love you."

      With that she delicately brushed her lips over his in a scared kiss and he
      enfolded her naked body in his arms and smiled into her hair, inhaling her
      glorious scent. He bent his body and swept her off her feet in one fluid
      motion, as she enclosed her arms around his neck in a tender clasp. Logan
      carried Marie up the stone steps to her bedroom but left the bay doors open
      to their laughter, which mingled with the sound of the gentle wind outside.
      There was a lot to discuss and even more time to make up for. Nights to be
      filled with never-ending kisses and loving touches of pure ecstasy. It
      wasn't a happy ending, but a promising beginning. And soon the only
      explanation needed was to how a pair of linen curtains ended up on the
      mansion lawn.



      _________________________________________________________________
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    • Aspen
      Wow, I feel like I m gonna cry, that was sweet, I acutely thought they might not become a couple. I ve just read this after watching a disaster movie on tv,
      Message 2 of 2 , Jul 26, 2001
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        Wow, I feel like I'm gonna cry, that was sweet, I acutely thought they might not become a couple.
        I've just read this after watching a disaster movie on tv, bad idea, I'm just too emotional and tired and it's 1:15am.

        It might be your third fanfic but it was really good, hope you write soon more soon.

        At least you have the confidence to post it, I don't, but might do sometime.

        Aspen (finally getting round to giving feedback at 1:21am)

        ~~*Insanity is the key to all life*~~


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