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FIC: True Love 1/1 (PG) (Bobby POV, L/R implied)

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  • Peter Meilinger
    TITLE: True Love AUTHOR: Peter Meilinger E-MAIL: mellnger@bu.edu, p_meilinger@hotmail.com SUMMARY: Casualty of love. Or something. I hate summaries. RATING: PG
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 22, 2001
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      TITLE: True Love
      AUTHOR: Peter Meilinger
      E-MAIL: mellnger@..., p_meilinger@...
      SUMMARY: Casualty of love. Or something. I hate summaries.
      RATING: PG
      TIMELINE: About a year after the movie.
      DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who's already got my stuff is
      welcome to this as well. Any list I post to is of
      course welcome to add my stuff to their archive. If
      anyone else actually wants it, I'd be tickled pink
      to hear about it. This and all my stories can be
      found on my site at

      www.unfitforsociety.net/pete/fiction.html

      SPOILERS: The movie.

      DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, and I'm not
      trying to make any money.

      DEDICATIONS: To Vic, Jen, Meg and Dot. And to everyone
      who liked my first X-Men story enough to ask me to try
      another. Hope you like this one, even though it's nowhere
      near as mushy.

      ***

      True love. That's what it felt like. Still feels like, for
      me. But not for her. I guess it never really felt that way
      to her.

      Nothing has ever hurt this bad. I don't think anything
      ever will.

      That's not true. I'm pretty sure seeing the two of them
      together is going to make the pain I'm feeling now seem
      like nothing. I should just leave, but I can't. This is
      home for me now.

      I don't understand how she could do this to me. I thought
      we were good together. I thought she loved me. I guess not.
      She says she does, but no way can she love me and treat
      me the way she did. Especially not after everything I've
      done for her.

      When Logan left last fall, Marie was devastated. She
      didn't let him see it before he took off, and she tried
      to hide it from the rest of us, but I could tell. I could
      see it in the way she clutched at those stupid dog-tags
      when she was thinking of him, and in the way her face
      would cloud over with pain when she thought no one was
      looking.

      But I was looking, and I saw it. And I wanted to help
      her. I wanted to take the pain away. I wasn't even
      thinking about her as girlfriend material, not at first.
      I just figured she'd gotten a raw deal, and I wanted to
      help. It wasn't until later that I started falling for
      her.

      It didn't take long, though. Less than a month after
      we'd met, I asked her out. I was scared half to death.
      I've never had much luck with girls, and I was afraid
      that all the time we'd been spending together had made
      her peg our relationship as "just friends." But when I
      asked her if I could take her to dinner, and specified
      it was an actual, honest-to-God date, she just smiled
      that shy smile of hers, and looked down at her shoes,
      and said yes.

      I think right then is when I fell in love with her. And
      as we started going out, I thought she was falling in
      love with me, too. By Christmas, I was sure of it.

      We made love for the first time Christmas Eve. And I mean
      the first time for both of us, not just our first time
      together. It wasn't easy, what with neither of us knowing
      what we were doing, and with her skin, but we managed. And
      it was wonderful. And when I woke up the next morning, her
      face was the first thing I saw. She'd been watching me while
      I slept. As soon as I opened my eyes, she smiled and told
      me she loved me. I almost couldn't speak, but I told her I
      loved her, too. And from then on, it was perfect between us.

      Until Logan came back yesterday.

      I was in the garage, working on the Phantom that the
      Professor picked up at that auction last month. Considering
      he never drives himself, he has great taste in cars.
      Sometimes, I think he only buys them because he knows how
      much Mr. Summers, me, Rahne and some of the other kids love
      working on them.

      When Mr. Summers came in, I thought he was going to give
      me a hand with the car. I was looking forward to it, because
      I always learn a lot when I work with him. But that's not
      what he was there for.

      "Bobby," he began, then stopped and shook his head.

      "What's up?" I asked, as I grabbed a rag and cleaned off my
      hands.

      "Logan's back."

      I just looked at him. He'd said it like it was the worst
      possible news, but I didn't really see why. I knew Marie
      loved me, and I knew she was over her crush on Logan. Or
      I thought I knew, anyway.

      I followed Mr. Summers out to the back lawn, and he pointed
      to where they were sitting together on Marie's favorite bench.
      Logan had his arm around her, and she was leaning against
      his shoulder as they talked.

      I smiled. She looked happy in his arms, so happy that her
      friend was back. I'd never really gotten to know Logan in
      the short time he was at the school, but after he left I
      didn't like him at all. Marie was so unhappy for so long,
      and it was easy to blame it all on him. But seeing them
      sitting together, laughing and talking, I was glad that
      he was back. I knew Marie cared about him, and I realized
      that he cared about her, too. I was glad he was back,
      because Marie had missed him so, and I figured anyone
      who could make her smile like that was okay by me.

      I smiled towards them and decided not to interrupt their
      reunion. I just turned around and walked back to the garage.
      I wasn't worried at all. I knew Marie loved me.

      I started to get worried at dinner. I hadn't seen Marie
      all day, which isn't that unusual. We always eat dinner
      together, though, every night. I figured she'd want to
      eat with Logan, and that was okay with me. I was going
      to sit with them, but they weren't in the cafeteria. I
      just shrugged and sat down to eat with Kitty, Peter and
      Rahne.

      Kitty was looking at me sympathetically, and Rahne was
      avoiding my eyes. Peter seemed oblivious, but then he
      usually does.

      "What?" I asked Kitty.

      "Nothing," she whispered, and turned her attention to
      her food.

      None of us talked much as we ate. I knew what they were
      thinking, but I also knew they were wrong. But I didn't
      feel like arguing about it. They'd learn who Marie really
      loved soon enough.

      Marie didn't come to my room last night. We don't spend
      every night together, since that doesn't look too good to
      the younger kids, but she'd always come by every single
      night to say goodnight. Last night, she didn't.

      That's when I really started to worry. It took me a long
      time to get to sleep.

      When I woke up this morning, Marie was sitting in my armchair.
      She was looking at me like she always does when she wakes up
      first, but I couldn't read the expression on her face. She
      had herself closed off. She hadn't done that around me for
      a long time.

      "What's wrong?" I asked, worried, as I sat up in bed and put
      my back against the headboard.

      "Bobby..." she began, then trailed off, and I knew. I knew
      exactly what she was going to say.

      I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry.

      "Why?" I asked. Pleaded.

      "It's not that I don't love you," she said, and I laughed.
      There was no humor in it, only pain.

      "You just love him more. Is that it?" I demanded, opening
      my eyes to look at her.

      She didn't have an answer for that, and she wouldn't look
      me in the eye.

      "Where's he been, Marie?" I asked calmly, while inside
      I screamed in anguish. "Where's he been for the past
      year, while I held you and loved you and did everything
      I could to show you how much you mean to me?"

      She started to say something, but I cut her off. "You
      told me you love me. You've told me that every day since
      Christmas. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

      "Of course it does!" she insisted, bringing her head up
      to look at me. "You know it does." I looked away. I didn't
      know any such thing. Not anymore.

      "Bobby," she said, pain in her voice, "I love you. I do.
      You have to believe that."

      "But you love him more? Is that it?"

      "It's not like that," she said, closing her eyes. Tears
      started to fall down her face.

      "Then what's it like, Marie?" I asked. I could hear the
      anger coming out in my voice, and I welcomed it. If I
      didn't get angry, I knew I'd start crying. I've cried
      in front of Marie more than once, and she's always held
      me and told me it was all right. But it wasn't all right
      anymore. I felt like she didn't deserve to see me cry.

      "What's it like?" I repeated, when she didn't answer me.

      "I... I don't know how to explain," she said.

      I laughed again, even more bitterly. "Then let's just
      make this real easy, okay? You don't want me anymore.
      You want him now. Is that it? You don't have to explain
      if you don't want to. You can just go."

      She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. She just
      got up and moved towards the door.

      "That was quick," I accused. "You're that eager to
      get away from me? Or that eager to get to him?"

      She was facing the door as she whispered, "I'm sorry,
      but I can't waste another second."

      I don't think she realized what she'd said. And I
      know she didn't mean for me to hear her. But I did.
      I heard her. I didn't say a word as she opened the
      door and walked out to find Logan.

      I've always been good at math. Not as good as Kitty
      or Doug, but I do okay. I sat there on my bed and
      I did some math in my head. I'd asked Rogue to go
      out with me on October 15th. Today was September
      29th. That came out to three hundred and forty-nine
      days. Twenty four hours in a day. Sixty minutes in
      an hour. Sixty seconds in a minute. Complicated,
      but I wasn't going anywhere for awhile.

      It came out to thirty million, one hundred fifty-three
      thousand and six hundred seconds. And every one of
      them wasted, according to Marie. Funny, I'd thought
      of the past year as the best time of my life. I was
      in love with Marie, and she was in love with me.
      That's what I thought, anyway. Now I know that the
      best year of my life was just wasted seconds while
      Marie waited for the return of the man she really
      loved. Now I know that every time I thought we were
      making love, she was just marking time until Logan
      came back to steal her away from me. Not even steal
      her, really. She walked away of her own free will.
      I just wasn't enough for her. My love just wasn't
      enough.

      I want to hate her. I really do. I'd give just
      about anything if I could hate her. But I can't.
      I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved
      anything in my whole life.

      True love. Ain't it a bitch.
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