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FIC: Choices, 5/?, R/NC17, W/R R/G W/f

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  • fyrdrakken@JUNO.COM
    DISCLAIMERS POSTED IN PART 0 * * * He asked her to marry him, of course. It didn’t require thought — it was what a man was
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 12, 2001

      * * *

      He asked her to marry him, of course. It didn’t require thought — it was
      what a man was supposed to *do* when he’d gotten a gal in the family way.
      Probably another symptom popping up of having formed his initial
      attitudes and reactions in a much earlier decade, when leaving a woman
      unmarried and pregnant was still considered to be a serious misdeed.

      Which was why he’d always been so careful about using condoms in his
      remembered past. He didn’t really give a damn about diseases what with
      his healing factor, but the prospect of leaving one of his one-nighters
      pregnant had been severely worrisome. One of the more nightmarish ideas
      about his forgotten life was that he might have left a family behind, and
      he was sometimes haunted by the idea of one day running across a child of
      his own that had grown up fatherless. (He always imagined his own
      irascibility as being a trait that would have been passed on, leaving him
      to one day be greeted by a surly, intractable adolescent or young adult
      with a lifetime grudge against the drifter who had abandoned him and his
      mother to a succession of uncaring boyfriends or surly stepfathers. For
      some reason he never pictured his putative abandoned offspring as having
      grown up well-adjusted in happy homes with loving parents.)

      He had only stopped using rubbers with Cissy because she had told him she
      was on the pill, and with a healing factor she had no more reason to
      worry about STDs than he did. It wouldn’t be until much later that the
      thought would occur to him that Ciss might have deliberately skipped a
      pill or three to trap him with a baby — at the time, he was merely upset
      with her for her carelessness in having forgotten.

      He didn’t gripe at her for it, though. Instead he silently kicked
      himself, for having put too much trust in someone who had proven to be
      untrustworthy. Whether she had missed a pill "accidentally on purpose" or
      just through genuine forgetfulness, clearly he had been mistaken in
      leaving the matter entirely up to her.

      True to form, he didn’t really try to discuss it with her. Just told her
      to make whatever wedding arrangements she wanted, and he’d go through
      with it. She wanted a nice ring, yeah, sure, just pick it out and he’d
      fork over the cash. Then he went out and desperately attempted to get
      severely drunk — a wasted effort, with his healing factor clearing the
      alcohol from his system almost fast as he could drink it.

      If Marie’s wedding had been a knife to the gut, and her brief doomed
      pregnancy a desperate sinking within his soul, then his own impending
      marriage was a set of shackles being currently made to order. To
      *Cicely’s* order, and he left her to it. No need to bother him with the
      news of the preparations — it wasn’t that he didn’t care so much as that
      it was more than he could stand to hear.

      The X-Crew were delighted. Another wedding among the teammembers, and
      long enough after Rogue and Gambit’s that people were eager to go through
      the fuss and excitement again. Logan made his disinterest in the planning
      abundantly clear, and this was almost universally chalked up to his being
      male and therefore disinterested. Cissy was excited enough for them both,
      and a fair number of the teammembers and older students eagerly swirled
      about her debating bridesmaids’ dresses and floral arrangements.

      Marie was not one of their number. At one time Logan would have been both
      delighted and encouraged by her noticeable lack of enthusiasm regarding
      the idea of his marrying another woman, but under the current
      circumstances he found such optimism to be both misplaced and badly
      timed. Besides, she knew him well enough to probably be sensing just how
      little he really wanted to marry Ciss.

      One thing was for sure — the rest of the X-Crew seemed largely oblivious
      to his reluctance. The consensus opinion was that the two of them were
      such a well-matched couple that a long-term pairing was only appropriate.
      The news of the baby was being kept under wraps for the moment until the
      wedding was over, barring a few people. Jean and Hank knew, as the team
      doctors, and so did Cyke and Xavier, since the mommy-to-be was taken off
      the "active teammembers" list in terms of going on missions. Logan had
      told Marie over a few beers at their favored dive, so she knew the real
      reason for the wedding — perhaps part of her lack of enthusiasm lay in
      knowing that Logan was marrying out of obligation rather than love. So
      for the moment the only teasing Logan had to deal with concerned his
      impending assumption of marital responsibilities.

      Which was fine with him, since he was still trying to deal with the
      implications of the upcoming marriage. Once he had a handle on *that*,
      time to worry about parenthood. After all, the wedding would be over and
      done with months before he had to cope with an infant.

      In keeping with his quest for mental clarity regarding the approaching
      changes in his accustomed lifestyle, he spent a fair bit of time out and
      about, away from the X-Mansion and the alarming wedding preparations.
      Including the usual amount of bedhopping — hell, he wasn’t married *yet*.
      There was no bachelor party, as such — he disappeared on another of his
      excursions about a week before the wedding, and didn’t come back till the
      morning of the ceremony.

      He had judged his timing nicely — returning early enough to shower,
      neaten up, and dress in that damned tux before he had to put in his
      appearance — without having had to get out of that stripper’s bed too
      unpleasantly early. He stood in front of his gathered friends,
      teammembers and students and absently said what he was supposed to, while
      wondering in a small part of his mind whether Cissy had chosen anything
      interesting when selecting the underthings to go beneath her
      inappropriately snowy-white dress. The realization that he’d be finding
      out for himself later wasn’t nearly as tempting as Cicely would have no
      doubt hoped, being overshadowed by the sad thought that he’d never
      particularly found a bridal getup to be arousing, with a single

      Marie had been literally heartbreakingly beautiful in her wedding dress.

      Cissy was breaking his heart in her wedding dress, too — but not in the
      same way.

      * * *
      My apologies if the formatting has been odd. My e-mail program can't
      seem to decide if this is an html document or not, and the formatting
      changed when it was sent...

      She Whose Quotations Are Both Exotic and Appropriate
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