FIC: The Mutant Bride - 4c/? - PG [S/R, Hank, Logan, Mystique, Magneto]
- Disclaimers in Part 0
Mystique stood atop a high hill and watched as the Man in Black came
"Inconceivable!" she exclaimed. "I cannot believe he got past Logan!"
Turning to Hank, she said, "Give her to me!" She grabbed the princess,
cut the bonds tying her feet together, and said, "Catch up with us
There was a puzzled expression on Hank's face. "What do you want me to
"Finish him! Finish him your way," Mystique snapped.
"Oh, good. My way. Thank you, Mystique." The puzzled expression, which
he'd worked so hard to perfect, didn't leave his face. "Which way's my
Mystique was quickly losing patience. "Pick up one of those rocks, get
behind a boulder, and in a few minutes the Man in Black will come
running around the bend. The minute his *head* is in view hit it with
the rock!" And she took off, dragging the unhappy princess with her.
Hank muttered to himself, "Apparently, my way is very unsportsman-like.
I suppose if I were to give him a fair chance, I could beat him. Though
if he beat Logan, it's highly probably that he will beat me, despite my
superior size and strength. Hmm. It is a conundrum."
He thought about it some more as he waited, calculating the odds in his
head, and then decided on a course of action.
The Man in Black, meanwhile, was climbing up the hill, not knowing that
Hank was waiting for him there.
He was quite taken aback when a rock smashed into a boulder not quite a
foot away from his head.
"I did that on purpose," Hank announced. "I didn't have to miss."
"I believe you," the Man in Black responded. "So what happens now?"
"We face each other as God intended; sportsman-like. No tricks, no
weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and
we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?"
Hank held up a large rock. "I could kill you now--" he offered.
The Man in Black thought about the situation. "Frankly, I think the odds
at hand fighting are slightly in your favor."
"You would be right. However, it's not my fault that Im the biggest and
the strongest. I don't even exercise much. It's my mutation, you see."
The Man in Black didn't respond. He simply charged at Hank, but couldn't
knock him down.
"Look, are you just playing around with me or what?" the Man in Black
asked, highly agitated.
"I just want you to feel you are doing well. I hate for people to die
embarrassed." Hank grasped at him, but missed. "You're quick!" he said,
"Good thing, too."
Hank swung again. "Why are you wearing a mask?" he asked, his curiosity
getting the better of him. "Were you burned by acid or something like
"Oh no," the Man in Black answered, once again eluding Hank's grasp.
"It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be
wearing them in the future."
He managed to jump onto Hank's back, and tried to choke him. Hank
slammed back against a boulder, almost knocking the wind out of his
"I was afraid you would give me trouble," Hank wheezed as the Man in
Black started to cut off his air supply.
"Why is that, do you think?"
"Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long," he said,
struggling once again to free himself from the Man in Black's grip
around his throat. "I've been specializing in groups, fighting gangs for
local charities -- that kind of thing."
"Why should that make such a difference?" the Man in Black asked,
"You see, you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen
people, than when you only have to worry about one," Hank said weakly,
before falling to the ground, unconscious. The Man in Black leapt away
just in time to avoid being pinned under Hank's heavier form. He checked
for a pulse, to make sure his opponent was still alive.
"I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake," he said,
"but in the meantime, rest well and dream of blue-furred women."
And with that, the Man in Black once again set off in pursuit of
Mystique and the princess.
"fuck you and your untouchable face / fuck you for existing in the first
place /who am I / to be vying for your touch? / who am I? / I bet you
can't even tell me that much"- "Untouchable Face" - Ani DiFranco
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