FIC: Raiders of the Lost Beer 4/5 R (Sequel to Some Enchanted Evening)
- Title: Raiders of the Lost Beer (Sequel to "Some Enchanted Evening")
***See Part I for disclaimer and story info***
Phase IV: Carousal
Several beers later
"To the X-men!" (Clink-clink!)
"To the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Summers!" (Clink-clink!)
"To Logan and Storm, the soon-to-be porn stars!" (Gasp! Squeal!
"To the black leather uniforms!" (Clink-clink! Giggle!)
"To Logan and Mr. Summers' rear ends in the black leather uniforms!"
(Gasp! Squeal!) "Ooh yeah, baby, I'll drink to that!" Nadine
declared as the girls clinked glasses.
"Ewwww!" was John's reply and the boys declined to toast that one.
"To Rogue!" "To Bobby!" "To Charlotte!" "To Andy!"
"`To life, to life, la chiam!'"
"Shut up, Andy!" (Shh! Squeak! Giggle! Snort!)
"You're snorting again, John, and yer nod even azleep!" Jubilee
exclaimed, blinking rapidly.
"Well, I'm derrrunk, thad's preddy close!" John replied, equally
"To John!" "To Jubes!" "To snorts and whuffles!" (Giggle! Clink-
"To bulls and foghorns!" (Snicker! Clink-clink!)
"Sounds like we're talking about Logan and Storm again!" (Gasp!)
"To Nadine!" "To Remy!" "To Remy deflowering Nadine!" "Or vice
(ClinkTHUD!) "Oh shit. Char, did they hear us?" Everyone froze.
Allen hastily picked up the bottle he'd dropped when Nadine conked
him with Logan's alarm clock.
Charlotte paused and listened. "Nope. We're good."
"Are Logan and Ms. Monroe good?" Rogue asked with a giggle.
"They're whispering sweet nothings to each other." (Gasp! Giggle!
Bobby looked a trifle disturbed. "Somehow I cannot picture Shtorm
whispering sweeting nothinnuddingnothings!"
Char giggled hysterically, "Bobby, you are REALLY snookered!"
"And yer not?!" Bobby demanded defensively, gesturing to the way
Charlotte had begun to slump against the wall. "You're pradically
passed out against Logan's wall ober dere!"
"I'm NOT passing out!" Charlotte exclaimed, drawing herself up (and
nearly pitching over), "I'm listening in!"
(Giggle! Gasp!) "Oh boy! We should've gotten her drunk a long time
ago if we'd known we could get her to give us a report!" Jubilee
said in delight.
"It woulda been pointless," Remy said in an extremely serious voice.
"How's come?" Nadine demanded.
"She wouldna got nothin' outta Logan and Mizz Monroe back then!" he
explained, all logic.
"BUT " Charlotte declared, raising her finger pointedly, "I coulda
tol' ya some great sssttuff about Mr. Summers an' Mizz Grey! They
really know how to ged id on!"
"Wowee!" Andy exclaimed. "Are they all still doin' it?"
Charlotte paused, listening intently. "Nah, now they're takin' a
break too. Come on, ya can only keep it up for so long, `specially
considering the kinda stuff they do!"
"What?! What?!" Jubilee demanded.
"I'll neeeevvvvver tell!" Charlotte replied.
"Aw, come on!" Allen pleaded, jumping up and down.
"Ya gotta, Char-lots, ya gotta!" John begged.
"Ferget it." Charlotte flopped down onto Logan's bed. "Hm! I
wouldn't mind bein' in this position more often!"
"Char! You sicko!" Rogue gasped, clapping her heads onto the sides
of her head. This beer-guzzling fest was really getting out of
control. Absorbing Logan's powers had also given her his alcohol
tolerance, and she had a feeling she was the only person in the room
who could still see straight.
"You can't be in that position, Char, Ms. Monroe already is!" Kitty
"We think," Bobby said sourly. "And we'd know if Char would be a
nice liddle person and tell us already!"
"Pweese?" "Pwetty pweese?" "Come on, Charrie!" "Puh-leeze?!"
"Spill it, girlfriend!"
Charlotte erupted into loud and raucous laughter. "No, no, no,
nooooo! Nod on yer life! Ah'm gonna keep it my liddle secretoh
Charlotte's mouth opened and her face turned as serious as it could
in her very befuddled state. "I think somebody just herd me. Oh
dear. We're dead."
"Who was it? What was it? Where?" John tried to scramble off the
bed and wound up falling off, landing with a crash on the floor and
spilling his beer.
"Omigod, you knooowwww they heard that!" Allen breathed, putting his
hand on his forehead in despair.
Rogue, being the only one even close to sober at that point, tried to
keep her wits. "Okay, Charlotte, just tell us, who was it? Mr.
"Omigod, if id's Mishter Summerz, we're sosososooooo screwed!" Nadine
"Nno, I don' think it was," Charlotte frowned. Then her eyes became
as round as golf balls. "Ohhhh my God, it's worse!"
"Who? Who?!" "Who could possibleley be worse?" "Nobody could!"
"No! No!" Charlotte grabbed Remy by the shoulder and began shaking
him violently as she squeaked, "It's LOGAN! He'll CATCH us with his
beer, and he'll KILL us! He'll kill us, he'll dismemember us, he'll
evisssssssscerate us, he'll torture us, he'll sliiiice us into tiny p-
p-pieces, and he'll HURD us!"
"Yeah!" gasped Kitty, "and then he'll get MAD!"
"Led's get outta here, oh SHIT!!" Bobby wound up following John's
lead by getting tangled in Logan's blanket and falling to the floor.
But he compounded the problem by freezing the entire floor in the
"Aaaaagh!" Jubilee took two steps and crashed down herself, landing
on top of Bobby.
"OW!! Help! Help! Oh my God! We're all gonna die!"
"RUN!!" Despite Rogue's efforts to keep the noise and panic under
control, Nadine and Remy tried to sprint for the door as well. While
Nadine managed to melt the ice on contact, Remy slipped and pulled
her down with him.
"Lemme go! HEY!! Remy! Keep your hands off! Jeez, we're all about
to die here, keep yer priororities straight!"
Just then, they heard heavy footsteps and a voice muttering, "What
the hell "
"NOOOO!!!" Andy attempted to dive off the bed and took Logan's lamp
and entire bedside table down with him. John tried to pull himself
up using the long window curtains and wound up tearing them both
down. "Ack! We're screwed! Here he comes!"
Part 5...Coming Soon!