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FIC:(R) 3/3 - Broken Mirror III: A Revelation To Death

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  • serleef@hotmail.com
    Broken Mirror III: A Revelation To Death - 3/3 By Kes Serleef Rating: R for some violence, and a PG-13/R for sexuality Warning: This part contains major angst.
    Message 1 of 1 , May 6, 2001
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      Broken Mirror III: A Revelation To Death - 3/3
      By Kes Serleef
      Rating: R for some violence, and a PG-13/R for sexuality
      Warning: This part contains major angst. Towards the end there is some
      violence, but it really is mild in my opinion. I would normally rate
      it a PG-13, however, I am not everyone, so I'm taking precautions.
      Characters: L,R,S,J
      Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the "X-Men" or any of its
      characters. That privilege belongs to Marvel, Fox, etc...no
      infringement on copyright is intended. Please don't sue me.
      Archive: Yes, but please ask me.
      Author's Note: There will be a happily-ever-after ending to this
      series, promise.
      Author's Note 2: I would like to thank Dark Ferret for all her help, I
      really appreciate it. Thanks so much.
      Earlier parts of the series can be found on my site at:
      www.httpcity.com/serleef/index.html
      Summery: Marriage is bliss. Temptation leads to hell. Hearts are
      broken. Read on....

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Marie watched him go.

      She watched the door close, and heard the click like a bullet.

      It mobilized her.

      She had thought she could just let it go.

      She'd thought that not giving him the satisfaction of a fight, of a
      way to purge his guilt, would make her feel...something.

      Satisfaction maybe.

      But all that kept creeping through her mind was that she couldn't just
      let it go.

      Not like this.

      Not without blood.

      He didn't have a right to walk away so...intact.

      She wanted to hurt him.

      She wanted to find what he claimed was his heart and rip it inside
      out.

      She wanted to see with vivid visual images of his suffering.

      It wasn't enough to hear it.

      It wasn't enough to even see it in his eyes.

      She wanted a physical manifestation of his pain. Something that had
      substance. Something that could be seen in splashes of red.

      She couldn't let it end like this.

      She'd thought she could.

      She had listened to him. She had killed her emotions and listened as
      he had told her in detail about fucking another woman, about fucking
      Jean, and she hadn't broken.

      Not then.

      But she couldn't let it end like this.

      Not after everything...

      She remembered the day her life had been shattered and bleeding that
      hadn't stopped once in the four days since finding out the truth.

      Scott had found out first and she remembered...

      ...It was the way he stood. His normally tall stance — the one that
      spoke volumes about his place in their world as the
      authoritarian...the leader — it was off.

      She had seen it the moment she stepped out into the garden. She had
      closed the distance between them and stood behind him, close enough to
      touch.

      "Scott..."

      "It's happened, Rogue," It was Scott's dead voice that had brought her
      around to look him in the face. It had been the look on his face that
      made her realize that her nightmares had come to pass.

      She'd nodded slowly — what else could she do. It took a long time for
      her to her voice to speak. "I have been preparing myself for the last
      three years, maybe even longer, and I'd thought when this day
      came...oh god...did you just hear me Scott? I said when, not if…"
      she'd heard herself say the words, but hadn't recognized her own
      voice.

      Maybe it wasn't hers anymore, she had mused. The voice, the body,
      maybe even the mind — which had slowly been losing focus — no longer
      belonged to her, but to a stranger who would call herself Marie from
      that moment on.

      "I don't know...what should I feel? I can't feel. What's happening to
      me, Scott? Why can't I feel anything? I thought I would feel a million
      things when this day came, but I can't...who am I now...who am I?"

      Then she was falling. She was on her knees, clutching one of the stone
      benches for support.

      Gloved hands had unfolded and slapped against stone.

      Once. Twice. Then it was a steady pounding — just so she could feel
      something.

      She had wondered, in a distant part of her mind, if her sobs were more
      about her feelings of being lost or from the revelation itself. She
      had pealed her gloves off, and pounded on the stone, and even when she
      saw her hands bleeding and raw, she couldn't bring herself to stop
      because she couldn't feel anything.

      She didn't feel anything, even after Scott folded her in his arms and
      rocked her in comfort.

      No.

      It wasn't enough to know that his feelings echoed hers in all its vast
      emptiness.

      She couldn't just let it end like this.

      He had made her promises, and he had broken them in the worst possible
      way.

      He had made a promise to her three years ago — no, earlier — and he
      was supposed to have kept it.

      They were going to build a life together and it was going to be
      forever.

      He had said so. She had looked in his eyes, she could have sworn he
      had meant it. But she was wrong, and she could have kicked herself for
      not realizing that a man like Logan, one who had been running for so
      long, wouldn't want forever. He had probably never even thought about
      marriage, and the commitment that went along with it, in those terms.

      She even remembered when he had probably come to the realization of
      what he had gotten himself into with vows that sealed their lives
      together. She should have known then. She remembered the look on his
      face at that moment, and she should have known that he would run. He
      had been doing it all his life.

      She had been so stupid, and now she was paying the consequences.

      Still — he had promised, she hadn't forced him to, but he had, and he
      should have kept them.

      He had made a promise to love and cherish...in sickness and
      health...'til death did them part.

      They had loved and cherished throughout their years together, and
      taken care of each other when sick, now they were here...at death.
      Death of their marriage, death of her heart...death was going to be
      their legacy.

      She was at the door before the thought had completely formed in her
      head, moving through it and taking the stairs to the garage because
      she couldn't wait for an elevator.

      She had to see him.

      She had to see him before he could end it like this.

      She hadn't known what she was going to do before doing it. All she
      knew was that she had to see him bleed, like she had.

      Like she was.

      He was on the bike, garage door open, about to leave.

      "Logan."

      He paused, and she walked up to him.

      She walked up to him — and murder was her intent.

      Only, she hadn't known it at the time.

      All she'd known was that she had wanted to see him bleed.

      Only one time had she ever used her mutation on him — and that time it
      had been an accident. A simple desperate touch by a dying girl as
      metal that had been surrounded by warm flesh had penetrated her chest.

      All the other times he had initiated the touch — once on the Statue,
      and again two years ago when she had been badly injured on a mission.

      This time...this time was different.

      She never gave him a chance.

      He was on the bike, hands on the breaks.

      She approached him and watched the hopeful look on his face with
      detachment.

      She never gave him a chance as she grabbed his face and lowered her
      mouth to his.

      She saw him try to pull away, but somehow, somewhere, an unnatural
      power had given her enough strength to hold on — even when she felt
      his hands pull at her hard enough to break bones.

      She gave him a kiss that made him bleed.

      She didn't know where she found the strength, but even when he caught
      his balance and put the cycle on its stand and tried to pull her away,
      she clung on, and after a while, he no longer had the strength to
      fight.

      She watched the veins in his face pop, saw them open and bleed, and
      the red of his pain was finally visible to her.

      And she felt for the first time.

      Overlaying his feelings and thoughts, were her own of satisfaction.

      She watched him crumple to the ground, the bike falling with him as he
      lay there bleeding.

      And she felt, really felt, for the first time since revelations that
      had killed her world had been bared.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Scott reached the garage just in time to see Logan fall to the ground,
      blood dripping from open lacerations — and froze.

      It would be so easy.

      It would be so easy to watch him die.

      He watched silently as Rogue stared down at Logan — watching him bleed
      to death — and he remembered watching her that day.

      He had witnessed her pain.

      It would be so damn easy to let the bastard die for what he had cost
      them all.

      He remembered...

      ...He had watched helplessly as her face crumpled. He had watched as
      she collapsed to the ground and she took her pain out in the most
      primitive display of grief he had ever seen.

      And he'd envied her. He'd wished he could lose control like that — but
      he hadn't.

      Not then, not now.

      It wasn't until he had seen the red of her blood, until he saw the
      rawness of her flesh, that he'd gathered her to his chest and rocked
      her.

      It didn't start at first; all he'd felt was her shake. Then the sounds
      reached inside his chest and squeezed. Her whimpers started at the
      back of her throat, and she was trembling so hard that his whole body
      shook with hers. And again, some part of him had envied her.

      As she'd sobbed, all he could think was that he wished he could have
      just thrown it in the garbage. He wished he had never unfolded and
      read their endings in the form of a seemingly insignificant piece of
      paper.

      It would be so damn easy....

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Jean followed Scott to the garage.

      She was almost there when she heard the loud clash of what sounded
      like metal hitting concrete.

      She ran the rest of the way only to be met with the horror of watching
      the man she had committed her greatest sin with slowly bleed to death
      while his wife, and her husband, watched silently.

      As she screamed for the Professor and rushed to Logan's side to see
      whether he was still alive, she remembered what had been the catalyst
      in the discovery which had led to this event.

      No matter how many times she told herself that Scott and Rogue would
      have found out anyway, she still couldn't help but think that if it
      hadn't been for her carelessness that afternoon...if she hadn't
      written a letter...if she had just checked behind the wastebasket to
      make sure...

      She could only imagine what Scott must have felt when he read...

      ...I've been conflicted as to whether or not this is the right way to
      do this. But I don't know how else to do it.

      I can't look at you. I can't even look at myself.

      When I look at you, I see the black hole my life is about to become,
      and I'm afraid.

      He is my light. Without him, all I see is the emptiness that will be
      my destruction.

      So, you see, I couldn't do this in person.

      I can no longer see you without seeing the end of everything I love,
      and in doing so, behave in a way that could make them guess.

      They can't find out that way.

      From suspicions.

      I want to be able to look him in the face. I want to be able to see my
      destruction when he takes the light with him. I've betrayed everything
      in my world. There's this feeling of paralyzing guilt that is
      destroying me.

      And only one thought keeps echoing through my head — what demon
      possessed me to think twenty minutes could measure against eternity?

      I'm going to tell Scott, Logan. I thought you should know.

      Jean.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      To be continued...
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