FIC:(R) 2/3 - Broken Mirror III: A Revelation To Death
- Broken Mirror III: A Revelation To Death (2/3)
By Kes Serleef
Rating: R for some violence, and a PG-13/R for sexuality
Warning: This part contains major angst. Towards the end there is some
violence, but it really is mild in my opinion. I would normally rate
it a PG-13, however, I am not everyone, so I'm taking precautions.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the "X-Men" or any of its
characters. That privilege belongs to Marvel, Fox, etc...no
infringement on copyright is intended. Please don't sue me.
Archive: Yes, but please ask me.
Author's Note: There will be a happily-ever-after ending to this
Earlier parts of the series can be found on my site at:
Summery: Marriage is bliss. Temptation leads to hell. Hearts are
broken. Read on....
Logan closed the door as he stepped in the room and met a lifeless
stare through the mirror that cut to his heart and reflected hell
through the impenetrable coldness of her eyes.
She was standing with her back to the door, staring at his reflection
through the large mirror at the dresser.
He saw himself reflected as when he twisted the lock, hearing the
seemingly magnified click in the otherwise still room.
He saw himself reflected through her eyes when their gazes met, and he
saw his world fall through the abyss.
She never turned to look at him as he leaned against the door and made
his confession in precise, stark sentences. She just continued to
stare at him through the mirror the whole time.
It was a calculated move to strip away at his soul.
It was a reminder of how it had began between the two of them
through the reflected depths of a mirror. It was a move that scared
him more then anything else she could have done.
"Is that all?" she asked when he fell silent.
He didn't recognize her voice, and he could do nothing but nod, his
heart stopping at her calm.
He took those first tentative steps towards her in some vain hope of
breaking through that calm. He took those steps hoping that he could
put his arms around her and promise her the sun and the moon if she
would just look at him and fight with him and forgive him. He wanted
to be able to get to the real emotions underlying the calm.
He took three steps to reach for her and didn't get any further.
"If you come near me, I will kill you, Logan." Her words wouldn't have
stopped him, but the look in her eyes did. "You know I'm not
bull-shitting either, don't you?"
For the first time that evening, he saw something in her face that
made even him want to back down. For the first time that evening she
turned to face him and the look she gave him was enough to send a
chill down his back.
"No. Don't. You. Dare..." She closed her eyes, and when she opened
them, they were once again empty and cold. "I suspect you'll be
leaving soon. I've done you the courtesy of packing you a bag, my mama
having installed in me good manners and all," she said it
sarcastically, with a mockery of a laugh that hurt to hear because it
was so foreign from what he knew of her real joy.
"I'm not going anywhere, Marie." He said it calmly because he believed
She pinned him with her eyes, and the cruelest little smile he had
ever seen on her face twisted her lips. "You're going Logan. You won't
want to stay here after tonight that's a promise." The threat wasn't
even subtle. "It shouldn't take too long, you know. I'll talk to the
Professor tomorrow morning about a good divorce lawyer...and then
you'll be free, Logan."
He started to laugh. Couldn't help it. He saw her wince, because even
to him the sound rang raw, bitter and painful to hear, but he didn't
care. It stopped abruptly before it could betray him and turn to
"That's enough," he said, forcing anger to replace despair,
subconsciously shifting into a fighting stance. "There's not going to
be any goddamned divorce, Marie. You want to put a knife in my heart?
You want to fight me? That I can handle, hell that's what I expected
the minute I walked through that door, but this is too fucking
much..." He stopped because he was losing control. He stated over.
"You stand there telling me that you want a divorce, and I'm just
supposed to what...say yes? Fuck that. I might be guiltier than first
sin, but I'd sooner take a knife in the gut then let you divorce me,
to let you give up on our lives. Do you hear me? Do you understand
me?" He was shouting. It was a shout for reaction, because he couldn't
see one in her eyes. It scared him in ways that he'd never known
Then one of these smiles that he'd begun to hate twisted her lips
"I understand you, Logan. I understand you so well." She turned back
to the mirror and closed her eyes.
He wanted to touch her, he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort
her, and he fought the urge. She wouldn't want him to touch her, and
he didn't want to make the situation worse, so he fought the urge. It
seemed like he was forever fighting his urges.
She must have sensed his struggle because she turned to face him. "Is
that what it's going to take, Logan? Really? A knife to the gut,
right? Is that how you want it?" it was asked mockingly, but there was
no heat in her eyes. There was nothing in her eyes. And it was in the
way she said it the lack of light reflected in eyes that had never
looked at him without emotion that's when he knew that he was really
Fear made his chest tight and his voice deep. "You don't think I know
I've hurt you. I've hurt you. You think I'm here to try to make
excuses for that. But I can't. I won't. Do you think I'm crazy enough
not to realize that there isn't a word I could say to make this up to
"I've fucked up so badly, Marie " He was as close to breaking down
to crying at her feet as he had ever been in his remembered-life at
the thought of losing her.
"There are no excuses that can be made for the one stupid mistake that
I would give my soul to take back. I'll do everything in my power to
try to make this up to you "
Then he stopped fighting.
He gave in to his urge and all of a sudden he was in front of her. He
was in front of her on his knees. He was on his knee pulling her down
to sink with him. He was pulling her down to look into eyes that were
naked. They hid nothing from her they were a reflection of his
heart, they were a reflection of his soul, they were a reflection of
He knew she could see him, all of him, the good and the bad, and he
didn't care. A few months ago, a few weeks ago, that would have been
unacceptable to him. In the three years of their marriage, he had
never let her see him not all of him.
Not like this.
It had meant too much to both of them to think of him as a
larger-than-life hero. She had needed that, and it had been important
to him that she never see the chinks in the armor.
Now she was finally seeing him, and he was letting her. She had to see
all of him, all the faults that made him just a man, not a hero.
He just wanted her to see him. She was killing him in ways she had no
idea of by not seeing him. She also had to see that without her love,
he was less than nothing.
"Marie..." he said her name like a prayer, "Do you know that it's
tearing my heart apart to look in your eyes right now, to see nothing
but darkness, knowing I'm the one who put it there?"
He would have cried if he had seen anything in her eyes. But she knew
how to hurt him, and she did, because after exposing his soul, after
making himself more vulnerable than he had ever been with anyone she
laughed. It wasn't mocking or bitter. It was a real laugh, hurting in
its humor, and he shook her until her teeth cut her lips until it
She wasn't laughing anymore. She just gave him another cruel smile
that twisted her face and made him want to shake from existence.
"I fought to be the kind of man who would never have to look you in
the face knowing he had betrayed the one person who held his world in
her hands," his voice broke, and was gritty and harsh when he spoke
"I tried to be the kind of person who would be worthy of your faith,
of all your trust. It use to kill me to think that I had it in me to
betray all that goddamned trust all that trust that would shine up
at me through your eyes. I...you don't know how many times I had to
fight the urge to wipe that look off your face."
She lifted a questioning brow, a mocking look on her face, but it was
his turn to smile that twisted little smile.
"I use to want to shake you, to tell you that you had no right to look
at me that way, like I was some kind of god on a pedestal. It's a rude
awaking isn't it, Marie? To know that all your faith was misplaced."
He released her suddenly and stood up, turning his back to her to face
"I should have shaken you. That's one urge I wish I hadn't fought. I
should have let you know who I really was, then maybe those feelings
of disillusionment that your trying to hide with those cold looks
wouldn't be so intense."
He turned back to her. She was still on her knees in front of the
dresser, showing no reaction that he could see.
Suddenly he was staring above her, looking up at his own reflection in
the mirror over her head. He realized that his image was distorted. It
was distorted with tears he refused to shed.
His voice grew tired, resignation starting to set in. "I was all
prepared for you wanting to kick my ass, for us to have a knock-down,
drag-out but I'm having a harder time handling this."
Her laughter filled the room, but this time there was something to it,
because it was just on the edge of hysteria. She kept laughing and
laughing until his control snapped and he felt the burn of metal
exiting the flesh of his knuckles.
The laughter stopped abruptly.
"I'm so sorry I'm not conforming to expectation, Logan." It was the
first thing she had said since he began his little monologue.
She looked at him from across the room from her position on her knees.
She looked up at him and there was something almost evil in the depth
of her eyes. Something he didn't recognize.
Then she started to crawl to him. She crawled, slowly, measurably to
where he stood, a mocking smile on her lips. "Tell me what to do and
I'll do it, Logan. Should I throw myself on the floor and beat the
ground in grief? Should I ask the heavens about the injustice of human
frailty? What should I do?"
She knelt there in front of him, looking up at him, and something
shifted in her eyes, and it left him cold.
If he hadn't known her any better he would have thought that the look
in her eyes was one of seduction.
But he did know better, and the look in her eye was a poor imitation
of what he knew of her seduction.
It was a stranger's seductive voice that spoke.
On her knees looking at him, she moved in even closer, gloved hands
resting on his upper thighs. "Should I get really dangerous and try to
hurt you, Logan? Should I give in to the urge to really fuck you over,
because it's there the urge is so strong, Logan " She leaned into
him, and it seemed to him that her face was suddenly in too close to
"Stop it." He jerked her to her feet, gripping her upper arms hard
enough to leave bruises. He didn't care. He was too damned tired to
play her game. He could have taken anything but her games. "Why are
you doing this?"
Brown eyes studied his for a long minute, and he couldn't meet them
after a while. They were just too penetrating could see too much.
She answered his question in a thoughtful voice. "It occurred to me
that maybe if I had gone down on you a little more, if I had let you
fuck me like some whore against a wall, maybe you wouldn't have had to
find one in the form of a certain red-haired bitch we both know."
She jerked one of her hands free from his grip and slid it slowly down
to the front of his pants. "Is that what you wanted, Logan...a whore?
I could have been your whore, Logan. If that's what you'd wanted. If
you had told me, I could have been anything you wanted me to be. I
would have done anything you wanted me to do. So tell me what I should
do now, Logan. Tell me how I should react to your betrayal, because
right now I can't feel enough to do anything. So, tell me, what you
Her touch should have made him feel something, at any other time just
her look would have been enough, but instead he felt a chill that left
She pulled free of him completely and took her gloves off, exposing
deadly skin. Her hands were red and raw. He wanted to ask her what
had happened but was distracted by her words.
"Would letting me hurt you make you feel better? Should I rake my
nails down your cheek and call you a liar, or pick up something and
smash it in your face?"
Then her voice became a weapon against him.
"Should I get on my knees and slid my mouth around your stick,
condom-less and hot put you in a coma for a few weeks, maybe even
kill you? Would that make you feel better, would it make you feel less
guilty? I'll do it, Logan," she said, walking to stand close to him.
"I'll do whatever you want," she said, and pressed the fullness of her
breasts against his chest before he could react. "I'll be anything for
you, Logan. Just tell me how I should feel, how I should react, and I
will, because I just can't feel anymore. "
She looked up at him with an expression of almost child-like
expectation, but her eyes were vacant and that's when he knew he'd
just lost her.
One tear, just one no more, no less slid down his cheek.
She had just sentenced him to death and she didn't even know it.
Or maybe she did.
She sighed, suddenly looking so tired. She walked away from him and
left him standing in the middle of the room that had been theirs for
the last three years. She turned to look in the mirror, staring at her
own eyes. Seeing what he saw an abyss that led to the path of hell.
At that moment if the devil himself had asked for his soul, he would
have given it up to take back twenty minutes six days ago.
"I know you, Logan. I know that right now, guilt is tearing at you
and I'm just wicked enough to want you to continue to suffer," her
voice was hollow.
"I know you came in this room hoping for a big fight, for me to yell
at you, to cry and scream. Maybe you thought that eventually, given
time to make it up to me, I would come around and forgive you. Who
knows, maybe it'll happen." Her voice spoke volumes, but she said the
"But right now, this minute, Logan, I don't think that's going to
happen. I don't know if I'll ever be able to feel again, but what I do
know is that if I do I don't want you here. I can't be responsible
for what I'll do. I want you to continue to suffer. I want guilt to
continue to tear at your heart until it bleeds." She looked him right
in the eyes through the mirror and got her wish.
She looked him in the eyes as his heart bled.
"I want a divorce, Logan."
He wanted to be able to argue, he wanted to fight and tell her that he
wouldn't just let her do this end it like this but there wasn't a
He no longer believed. He no longer had hope.
The finality of her look, in the way she had said the words, had
He turned his back on her. Turned his back so he wouldn't have to see
through the mirror the shell he had become at her words.
"I'll leave tonight."
He walked to the door, grasping the knob until his knuckles turned
white. "You know it was never a question of me loving you, don't you?"
"Yes, I know," were the last words he heard her say before he took
those first steps that would lead him away from her and the life they
had built in three years of marriage and five years of togetherness.