Fic: Control - 1/1 - Rogue POV
- Title: Control
Author: Victoria P. [victoria_p@...]
Summary: Rogue leaves a message for someone
Disclaimer: All X-Men characters belong to Marvel and Fox; this piece of
fan-written fiction intends no infringement on any copyrights.
Archive: Lists, unfitforsociety.net, Kate Bolin's Dead Letters site if
she wants it, otherwise, just ask.
Feedback: Better than evol peeps
Notes: Thanks to Dot, Meg, Jen, and Pete.
I suppose you're surprised that I did it. Or maybe not. You always knew
me better than anyone. At least, I thought so. You never made me
self-conscious, never made me feel like a freak, an outcast, even though
I had no control.
I envied your control. I wanted it so much. Oh, sure, you had to have
help, most people do, but you were exquisite in the way you made it seem
like you were on top of everything, even when the world was collapsing
I could have had it. Had you, your control. All I needed to do was reach
out and touch and you would have been mine, all mine. Just me and you
here in my head. Forever. Well, except for Logan and Erik and David and
Carol. But I would have taken all of you. Every last bit of you and I
would have exploded from happiness that I finally had you all to myself.
Jean never appreciated you. Never. Not as much as I could have. As I
did. Yeah, she was faithful. She never slept with Logan, but she wanted
to. I never slept with him either, despite what everyone thinks. I
didn't want to. I knew him, better than anyone, and I knew he didn't,
couldn't want me. He had eyes only for red hair and green eyes, same as
You don't know how alike you two are, really. Except for your control.
That's what I wanted, and why I wanted you, Scott.
I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean -- no, that's a lie. I did
mean it. I do love you. I wanted you to know, wanted you to think of
life beyond her. Life with me. And you looked so sad when you told me
you didn't want me. I know you tried to let me down easy, and you did. I
knew what your answer would be long before you said it. I just had to
make sure. Because I would have hated to have found out now that you
loved me. So really, you just made it easier for me. And I really, truly
am thankful for that.
Don't blame yourself. I don't. It was easy, so easy to put the gun in my
mouth and blow off the back of my head. Even Logan couldn't heal me from
I'm just sorry you're the one who found me. Love you.
Rocky: "I don't think I like you."
Ginger: "I don't think I care."
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