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Fic: The Long Hard Road Out of Hell - 2/? [Rogue, Logan, others]

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  • victoria p.
    Disclaimers etc. in Part 1. indicates thoughts ~ ~ indicates telepathic conversation // // indicates memories The Long Hard Road Out of Hell Part 2 ***
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 3, 2001
      Disclaimers etc. in Part 1.

      < > indicates thoughts
      ~ ~ indicates telepathic conversation
      // // indicates memories


      The Long Hard Road Out of Hell
      Part 2

      ***

      The first few weeks were a nightmare. Calhoun was strong in her mind --
      stronger than she'd expected a human to be. He hated her -- hated all of
      them -- and it disturbed her to no end when his vitriol would suddenly spill
      from her mouth.

      The worst was how she began to look at her roommate and friends.

      She stalked Jubilee for a week. She waited for her to come home after
      school. She watched her change in the locker room before and after their
      self-defense classes. She had obscure fantasies about making her pay. For
      what, Rogue wasn't sure. After the first few times, the fantasies became
      disturbingly graphic and violent. She saw her hands pressing Jubes to the
      bed, her knee forcing the other girl's legs apart and then she had to run
      into the bathroom and vomit.

      Faintly, as if from far, far away, she could hear Logan telling her to
      fight, to be strong. Even Erik kicked in and ordered her to survive, the way
      he had survived -- by any means necessary. She rested her head on the cool
      tile of the bathroom floor and let the voices wash over her.

      But Calhoun overrode the others. He told her to give in, stop fighting, and
      just do it. Do what he wanted her to do, what she wanted to do anyway.

      She ripped off her gloves and looked at the scars healing on her wrists.
      Taking a razor from the medicine chest, she gently, almost lovingly, traced
      the angry red lines with the sharp blade, watching as beads of blood welled
      up.

      Jubilee found her huddled on their bathroom floor. Her shrieks would have
      woken the dead. They roused Rogue from her warm somnolence, and Rogue hated
      her best friend at that moment. Calhoun hated her for taking away his
      revenge, and Rogue hated her for taking away her peace.

      Rogue suddenly found herself with no time to herself. Someone was constantly
      with her, watching her. Calhoun faded. He was cunning. He could bide his
      time.

      ***

      The trial, what there was of it, was a farce. Calhoun had spent a month in a
      coma and his lawyer seemed to think that was a mitigating circumstance that
      entitled him to get off easy.

      The prosecutor was nervous about angering Xavier, one of the county's
      leading citizens, on the one hand, and upsetting the anti-mutant community
      on the other.

      Calhoun got ten to fifteen after the defense attorney realized that the jury
      wasn't going to acquit a man who forced himself on the delicate-looking girl
      who sat in the courtroom everyday, staring at him with haunted eyes.
      Everyone thought she was so brave to confront her rapist in court. The
      Professor seemed to think it would do her good.

      It just made him come alive again in her head.

      ***

      She dropped out of school and no one argued with her. She took up smoking
      again. Between Calhoun, Logan and her own jangled nerves, the smell of
      tobacco and the rush of nicotine were soothing.

      She had daily counseling sessions with Jean and the Professor. The volatile
      mix of personalities in her head made it hard for them to get a good read on
      her state of mind, but Jean thought she was slowly improving, especially
      after Calhoun was sent to Sing Sing.

      Kitty came home for Spring Break and the stalking began again. The perky
      brunette was very much to Calhoun's taste.

      "Why are you staring at me, Rogue?"

      "Am I? I'm sorry," Rogue replied, disconcerted at being caught and disgusted
      at the thoughts circling in her head. "I, I have to go."

      Out to the boathouse, where she could smoke in peace. That was the first
      time she burned herself. She'd thought of slitting her wrists again, but it
      angered Logan and made Newton happy, so she'd put the idea aside for the
      moment.

      But sitting there, staring at the lake, trying to shake Calhoun's nasty
      thoughts about Kitty, she knew she had to hurt herself. Because hurting
      herself was the only way she could hurt him. She pulled the glove off her
      left arm. Every time Calhoun came up with another scenario in which she
      tried to fuck Kitty, she burned herself.

      There were six marks on her arm before she finished smoking the first
      cigarette.

      Erik screamed and Logan raged but David, long dormant, cheered the bastard
      on. Even though she thought she was hurting him, as long as she was injured
      in the bargain, he was content.

      So it went, every day that Kitty was home. Rogue had covered both arms, and
      was working her way up her left leg by Friday.

      On Saturday night, before Kitty was to leave to go back to Chicago, Rogue
      cornered her in their bedroom. Jubilee was out on a date, so they were alone
      in the room when Rogue locked the door.

      Kitty came out of the bathroom, not aware of Rogue's plans. She wore a
      t-shirt and boxer shorts, typical sleepwear on a cool spring night. Rogue
      smiled, a cold, threatening stretch of lips over teeth. She was behind Kitty
      before the other girl knew what hit her.

      "You look so pretty," Rogue whispered harshly, her voice not resembling her
      own in the least. "Why you teasin' me like that, sugar? I'm gonna make you
      pay." And she brought the razor in her hand up Kitty's throat. "Don't scream
      and you might even enjoy it."

      "Rogue?" Kitty said in a hushed, fearful tone.

      Rogue blinked and pressed the metal deeper into Kitty's throat. Blood beaded
      along a tiny patch of skin. The smell of metal and blood turned her stomach,
      and she stumbled back, shrieking, "Get out! Get out! Go away! I don't want
      to hurt you!"

      Kitty, in her haste, phased through the locked door and barreled into Scott,
      who was on his way in response to Rogue's screams.

      "Rogue! Rogue!" he shouted. "Let me in!"

      He was about to blast the door open when Jean put a hand on his arm. "Kitty,
      could you--" she asked tentatively. The girl complied, phasing through the
      door to find the friend who'd attacked her slumped on the floor, crying.

      Kitty unlocked the door and backed away, letting the adults in. Jean wrapped
      an arm around Rogue's shaking body, murmuring comforting sounds both aloud
      and in her head.

      "Scott," she whispered, and he came and lifted the girl in his arms, careful
      of the small patches of exposed skin above her gloves and below her
      short-sleeved shirt.

      Jean gave her a light sedative when they got downstairs, and then undressed
      the younger woman carefully. She gasped in shock at the small, round burns
      lining her pale flesh. After covering her carefully with a hospital gown,
      she called the others into the room.

      She pulled no punches. "It's worse than we thought. I don't know how long
      she's been doing this, but it's bad."

      "I've put a call in to Dr. Braddock. She's an excellent psychiatrist and I
      hope she can help Rogue where we cannot," Xavier replied.

      "How soon can she be here?" Ororo asked.

      "She's in Europe, at a conference, so it may be a week or two. It may be a
      good idea to keep Rogue dosed with a mild sedative, until Betsy can arrive."

      "I don't like it," Scott said bluntly.

      "There's not much else we can do," Jean said softly, putting a hand on her
      husband's arm.

      "Can't you just flush him out of her mind, Professor?"

      Xavier shook his head. "You know I won't do that, Scott. Not unless it's
      absolutely necessary. It's best if she can work through this on her own."

      "Jesus," he snapped, "if burning herself and attacking other students isn't
      a sign that it's absolutely necessary, I don't know what is."

      "Scott--" Jean said warningly. "I know you love her. We do, too. But we
      can't just go in and take her memories away. You know that."

      "Why not?"

      "It would not be ethical without Rogue's permission. And right now, she's in
      no state to make that decision," the professor said, with the air of
      resigned patience. It was an old argument.

      "Bullshit," he responded, walking out.

      He'd always been closer to Rogue than the rest of them. Their closeness had
      grown during that horrible time two years ago, when Logan had come back.
      <Logan,> Scott thought, and for once the name didn't conjure up anger and
      pain.

      He wondered if Logan would come back to help Rogue, if he knew what she was
      going through. He wondered if Logan *could* help Rogue. Then he dismissed
      the thought. That bastard had cared for no one but himself, and Scott wasn't
      sure he could bear seeing him again, even for Rogue. Not after what had
      happened.

      He went upstairs, silently cursing the ethics of telepaths.

      ~I heard that!~ Jean said, and he smiled reluctantly.

      ***

      victoria

      --

      “That’s one more kid who’ll never get to go to school / Never get to fall in
      love / Never get to be cool” – “Rockin’ in the Free World” – Neil Young

      --

      The Muse's Fool - http://victoria_jp.tripod.com/home.htm
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