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REPOST Fic: Lapse of Reason 1/?

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  • teufelce@aol.com
    Title: Lapse of Reason (1/?) Author: Chris (teufelce@aol.com) Genre: Romance/Action/Character Study Rating: PG-13 so far,
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 2, 2001
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      Title: Lapse of Reason (1/?)
      Author: Chris (teufelce@...)
      Genre: Romance/Action/Character Study
      Rating: PG-13 so far, for profanity
      Pairing: Logan/Rogue
      Summary: Logan and Rogue try to deal with their developing feelings for
      another, amidst sudden change
      Thanks to: Tracie, who has trusted me enough to let me develop her idea,
      and to
      Jo and Z, as always, they know why...
      Disclaimer: The characters of X-Men (i.e. Logan, Professor Xavier, etc.)
      belong to
      Marvel Comics and Twentieth Century Fox Pictures. This
      story is for
      entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement
      is intended.
      Archive: Hell yes, just please let me know where.

      Logan stared out the window of the dark blue sedan, watching the wooded
      landscape of northern Vermont slide by at an agonizingly slow pace.

      "I still don't know why we couldn't just fly up here," he muttered irritably,
      fidgeting in his seat and wishing he were anywhere but in this car. Kicking
      himself for giving in to those damn 'noble urges' that had brought him back
      to the X-Men a year after the incident with Magneto, that had convinced him
      to sign on for the duration... That's not the only reason you came back, a
      tiny voice whispered inside him and he shoved it back down ruthlessly. Best
      not to start thinking about that, not with her sitting only inches away. Not
      with the fresh, clean scent of her hanging so heavily in the air of the back

      "I've told you already, Logan," Cyclops' voice interrupted Logan's thoughts,
      and with a sigh of relief, he turned his attention back to the driver of the
      car. And away from the slim figure of the young woman who sat sleeping next
      to him, her head resting on the back of the car seat, nylon gloved hands
      tucked demurely into her lap... "The Professor got a report of possible
      Brotherhood activity in the area and he wanted us to check it out, *without*
      being obvious about it. So, we drive, while the jet gets a complete systems
      check. Besides, I thought you'd be happy about this - you hate flying and
      since we're trying to avoid attracting attention, you don't even have to wear
      the uniform."

      "Still not worth having to sit in a car with you for eight goddamn hours..."
      Logan growled out, patting down his pockets for a fresh cigar to at least
      *chew* on, even if Jean wouldn't let him light it. Scott started to turn his
      head, an angry retort on his lips, when the red headed woman in the front
      seat next to him interrupted.

      "Scott, honey, just ignore him and keep your eyes on the road, please?"
      Jean's voice was soft and patient, and Logan bit back a smile as he watched
      the bunched muscles of Cyke's neck begin to relax. They'd been married for
      three months now and, if anything, were more sickeningly devoted to each
      other than ever before. Just made those moments when he managed to get a
      rise out of Cyclops all the more enjoyable.

      "Well, at least change the radio station - if I hear one more damn NSync
      song, I don't care who's car it is, it's gonna have a radio-size hole in the
      dashboard..." he muttered, sliding the claws of one hand out to emphasize his
      point. Scott ignored him, but Jean laughed.

      "Logan, they don't get many stations up here. This is the best we can do."

      "Great. Just my luck - to be stuck in a car with him *and* that shit they
      call music..."

      "Logan, language..." Jean said, raising an eyebrow towards Rogue's sleeping
      form as she turned in her seat to face him.

      "Oh give me a break - she's eighteen, for christ's sake! She's heard a lot
      worse, I'm sure," he muttered, eyes focused on the passing scenery and
      avoiding looking at the figure in question. He could see Jean's eyes narrow
      in the reflection on the glass.


      "Alright, alright..."

      "Thank you." The only reply he gave was a grunt and Jean soon turned back
      around in her seat. Leaving him alone with his thoughts...

      He's stayed away from the X-Men for a little over a year, travelling around
      the frozen wastelands of northern Canada in his search for clues to his past.
      Saying goodbye to Rogue that sunny afternoon had been one of the hardest
      things he'd had to do - seeing those warm, chocolate brown eyes looking up
      into his with desparation. //I don't want you to go// she'd said, and those
      words had done things to his insides that had frightened him. That had
      convinced him that, more than anything, he'd made the right decision to
      leave. She was young, she was innocent, and damnit, he wasn't the sort of
      man she deserved. Even if they *could've* touched, he was too rough, too
      damaged for the likes of her. Better to just get out before he lost control
      of himself and did something they'd both regret...

      It had worked for all of four months. He patted himself on the back, told
      himself he'd done the 'right thing'. Then, one afternoon, he'd been sitting
      on the bike. Just sitting and staring out over a mountain meadow that was
      still full of the blooms of late summer. And he'd found himself thinking,
      <Wish Marie could see this...> And the resulting emotions that the thought
      had stirred up inside him sent him right into the nearest bar. Where he'd
      spent the night getting royally shitfaced drunk and into more than one fight
      with the locals. Despite all the alcohol that he'd consumed - enough to kill
      a normal man - that night, as he lay on the ground staring up at the stars
      through the overhanging pine branches, the thought of her was still clear in
      his mind. That slight, self conscious smile of hers everytime he'd said
      something that amused her... It made his heart ache just thinking about it.
      That's when the thought slammed home that she'd gotten past his carefully
      erected walls, past the gruff exterior, deep into the soul of him. He'd lain
      awake for the rest of the night, as the effects of the alcohol wore off, just
      staring up at the stars and thinking of her face...

      He'd lasted another four months before he called the mansion. Four months of
      searching during the day, and drinking himself into a stupor at night...
      Jean had answered the phone, and it had taken him several seconds before he
      could speak past the sudden tightening in his throat.

      "Hey, Jeannie."

      "Logan! How are you?" She'd sounded both surprised, and delighted to hear
      from him, and he'd smiled for the first time in months.

      "I'm fine. Just thought I'd let you all know I'm still alive up here..."
      His voice had trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

      "We were worried about you, Logan. All of us." Jean's voice was soft and
      full of compassion as she spoke.

      "I'm fine. How's.... how's Marie?" The words came out almost strangled, in a
      rush, and there was a pause before Jean responded.

      "She's... she's okay. She's fitting in well here, gets along alright with
      the other kids, studies hard..." There was something in her voice though,
      something hesitant, that worried him.

      "But?" he prompted, all attention focused on the sound of silence at the
      other end of the phone.

      "Well... she's just... lonely, I guess. She keeps to herself alot, doesn't
      even date any of the boys. Bobby asked her to a dance, and she said no. I'm
      worried that she still feels alienated by her mutation and won't let anyone
      get close to her. I tried talking to her about it and she insists that she's
      fine. That she likes spending time alone." There was another pause, and
      Logan was about to prompt her again when she finally spoke. "The only time
      she shows any interest in things is when the mail comes... I think she
      misses you, Logan." Those words were softly spoken, but full of meaning. In
      her own kind, gently way, Jean was letting him know that Rogue's feelings for
      him had not gone away with his absence. Had in fact, strengthened... He bit
      back a curse and thanked Jean.

      "Will you be coming home soon, Logan?"

      "Not yet.... not yet, Jeannie..." Before she could ask when, he'd broken the
      connection. Gone back into the bar the phone booth stood in front of, and
      stared into his beer the rest of the night...

      Two more months before he couldn't take it anymore. Before he convinced
      himself that he was only going back because he hadn't found anything
      searching the wilds of Canada, and they could probably use his help. When
      he'd come roaring up the road to the mansion on Cyke's 'borrowed' motorcycle,
      and Rogue had come running out the front door, as if she'd known it was him,
      his mind had gone blank. Couldn't even think of any words to say, accept
      'Hey, kid. Missed you.' Had wanted to kick himself for the look of pain
      that flitted across her face before she threw her arms around him and hugged
      him so tightly he couldn't breath. Had whispered in his ear, 'I missed you
      too...' And suddenly, coming back didn't seem like such a bad idea at all...
      Hadn't, in fact, until this damn mission two months later, that had landed
      him trapped in a car driven by Cyclops (who, in his opinion, drove like a
      seventy year old), and sitting less than a foot away from the one person he
      should've stayed away from. The one person he wanted most, and couldn't

      End of Chapter 1
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