FIC: With Six You Get Eggroll (4/4) [G/J L, R] PG
- Disclaimers in Part One (Again, if I showed you this beta-readers - it's been
Jubilation grinned at the scene of Logan laid out in Rogue's lap in the seat
nearby, and leaning to Remy she nudged him.
"Hey, check it out."
Glancing away from the window, Remy smiled.
"Aah, de Wolverine got a good thing goin', oui? He make de most of a
Jubilee scoffed with disbelief, "Remy! You don't joke about somebody swallowing
that much cleaning alcohol."
Remy just grinned, "I mean nothin' bad, chere."
Shaking her head, Jubilee looked to the front of the bus with some boredom,
letting herself lay against Remy's body behind her, fatigue teasing her eyes
closed. The day had been too long. After the Snake Incident, things had been
pretty straightforward, as straightforward as looking after a bunch of children
could ever be. Honestly - why would one want to stick grass up their nose, or
eat it? Emulating zoo animals was the apparent excuse, and she'd had to
explain that elephants did not eat with their noses, but their mouths, and that
grass did not fit into the human diet, or any of the food groups. The little
tyke asked what a food group was, and Jubilee had given up, her stress levels
close to snapping.
Remy took over, guiding the children away from the apparently appetizing looking
grass, and on to more interesting exhibits. She sighed long, snuggling into
the back behind her, thighs either side of her, leaning on the shoulder and
upper arm behind her head.
"You make a good chair," Jubilee mumbled, the rumble of the bus engine filling
"Merci," Remy said, flicking his cigarette butt out the window.
She glanced up to him, smiling. "What - no witty retort about my ass?"
Remy's eyes were closed, his head against the bus wall behind him, and he
shrugged. "Later, when Remy have de energy."
Jubilee sighed, revelling in the warmth their close bodies created, thinking
back on the day with a certain amount of awe. Remy really had outdone
himself. She never figured him as a 'kids' kind of person, but he was one, he
really was. He had the kind of wry patience that children seemed to love to
giggle at, and his accent and countenance made talking and interacting with him
a fun game. She wouldn't have guessed it - but children loved Remy. Turning
her head a little, his stubble-roughened chin brushed against her forehead, and
looking up she smiled at him briefly. He nodded back at her with a laid back
smile of his own, a new cigarette in his hands.
His chest rose and fell underneath her, the sound of his breathing in her ears.
"I can't thank you enough for today," she said, gazing off into nowhere, "I
mean, I thought I was really going to hate it, but you made it fun somehow."
He shrugged, fingertips brushing a stray lock from Jubilee's face. "You jus'
needed to relax, is all."
"Hmmm, well you're good at relaxing people..." She yawned, patting his thigh,
"Shit... and I thought my Mom's futon was comfortable..."
Stretching her arms up, she giggled when Remy growled, pulling them from in
front of his face.
"Chere nearly knock my cigarette out de window..."
She giggled, arching her back in the ends of a stretch and tilting her head up
to look at him.
Remy just smiled, hands running down outstretched arms, skimming past ribcage
(and the side of a breast) and settling at her hip so snug between his legs. He
tilted his head at her.
"Let's not be doin' it again, eh?"
Jubilee laughed softly and looked away. After a moment, "How'd you get so good
He shrugged, letting Jubilee re-adjust herself so she could face him, looking
into his eyes, his face not far from hers. His eyes looked suddenly evil (well,
more evil than usual).
"I jus' get a lot of practice dealin' wit' you eh? OOmmph!"
"Bastard!" Jubilee growled, good nature in her laughing eyes.
"You know I be jokin' wit' you oui?"
He looked serious, features soft as he spoke, fingertips running feathery trails
up her jaw. She nodded, barely aware of what she was doing. All she was
aware of was Remy's lips, those freaky eyes somehow endearing, even verging on
"Remy be ver' proud of you today, chere," he said, "You showed de snake what
for, eh? I have no doubts you one day be the best X-Man ever, wit' such a
courage in your soul."
Jubilee tilted her head, smirking, "You are *such* a sweet-talker, Rem. I'm
surprised none of your girlfriends have fallen with diabetes or somethin'."
He grinned at this, pointing to his chest. "This time Remy be honest, chere,
all come from in dere."
"Yeah?" She shifted a little, digging inside his jacket to his chest, "What else
have you been hidin' in there then?"
Catching her hands, he pulled them away, leaning in and wrapping her arms around
"You find out, eh?"
"Maybe," Jubilee giggled cheekily, stifling a sigh as Remy's lips descended upon
She relaxed into the sudden caress, the soft but expert lips of the man wrapped
around her pushing all cares or rational thought from her mind, all other senses
other than touch and taste and smell fading into her subconscious. Remy's
running touch was lazy and exploratory, yet firm and dedicated in it's own way,
enough for her to know that such a kiss meant something to him. His fingers
were plunged into her hair, cradling her neck, holding her face to his as he
eased his tongue over and past her lips, sinking deeper in her mouth and teasing
at her own.
She contained a moan, feeling the eyes of her friends on her, and she barely
registered the "oooooooh" that a chorus of her peers seemed to take up in.
She also happened to miss the five buck notes being passed along to the
mahogany-and-ice tressed girl with the sleeping Logan in her lap, a short but
triumphant smile on the luscious pink lips. Had she caught it, Rogue would
have had one pissed plasma-firing friend on her hands.
Right now, however, with Remy holding her delicately, exploring her mouth idly
as he held his cigarette out the window - Jubilee could honestly say that
anything that could possibly annoy her could go jump, because right now - she
When the bus finally ground to a halt out the front of the X-Mansion, Logan's
drool had made some very interesting patterns on her thigh and the front of her
shirt. She sighed patiently, glancing to Max in the seat across from her, who
was in the middle of comparing claws with Hank. There was relief in her as she
saw this, a familial one that always warmed her when a lost child would find
their way to the School of the Gifted. She had been one herself. Looking down
to the heavy weight in her lap that was an unconscious Logan, and thinking upon
her role as guardian for the day, she felt an odd crawling sensation. Things
had changed, and finally she had the opportunity to give back something for the
kindness these people had shown her.
As her friends filed out of the bus (Jubilee taking a shot of Logan asleep in
Marie's lap for good measure on the way out), Marie waited patiently, rubbing
Logan gently on the shoulder, whispering as tenderly and nicely as she could to
him as to wake him slowly. After a moment he groaned, rolling onto his back and
gazing up at Marie. His eyes were distracted by the bust that hovered over him
and he smiled weakly.
"Thassa sight to wake up to-"
"Logan!" Rogue laughed, covering her face to hide her blushing, "I don't think
you should be allowed to have rubbing alcohol for a very long time!"
"Fine by me," he grunted painfully.
"You guys gonna spend the night in the bus, or can I go park this thing now?"
Glancing up, Rogue saw the tired visage of Cyclops in the front seat, twisting
back to look at them.
"Sorry!" she called, shifting in her seat, "Just wakin' up Logan."
Cyclops nodded, grunting the engine deliberately.
Rogue stood, levering herself under Logan's left arm pushing him up, the heavy
sleepy man making uncertain steps once upon his feet. He groaned again,
leaning his forehead against her hair, his eyes closed.
"Jus' chop my head off. I promise to grow a new one."
"Yeah yeah yeah, you promised you'd be back for the damn tags too - you were
gone for a year!"
He grumbled softly, "I came back event'ally..."
She rolled her eyes, and leading him off the bus, Rogue tutted, patting his
stomach (she forgot how taut it was sometimes) gently.
A large number of the students were wide-eyed as Rogue lead the limp and
staggering Wolverine off to his room, the sight of Logan in less than one
hundred percent control of his faculties never before seen and rather
worrying. Rogue allowed them nothing more than a passing glance however,
particularly when he started swearing emphatically about a certain painting on
the wall on the way to the dormitory wing.
"I hate that fuckin' painting," he growled, pointing at it as Rogue shepherded
him past it, "The guy on it loo's like an asshole."
Rogue sighed, "You just hate it cause he has a bigger set of mutton-chops than
He glared at her, "You think I godda prob'm growin' my hair?"
"It was a joke, Logan."
"SubTLEty, baby, subtlety!" he said, yanking at his own facial hair,
"Shhh honey - you'll scare the children."
Logan, after looking around with some indignance, spotted a young fellow near a
drinks machine. Before Rogue could stop him, he staggered up to the boy,
tapping him on the shoulder roughly.
"Hey ya - uh - Joey is it?"
The boy blinked, shying away a little, "Nathan."
Logan's face fell, "Oh. Duzz'n matter. Hey - am I scary? I mean - yeah
'course but - you kids, you scared o' me?"
The boy shivered, "Is that a trick question?"
The candid look on Logan's face froze the child, and he gulped.
"Yeah," growled Logan, "And call me Logan! LOH-gan. Nunna dah 'sir' bull-shit!"
After swallowing again, the boy winced. "L-l-logan?"
Logan ticked up an eyebrow.
"We're all scared of you."
Just as the older man's features fell, the boy added.
"But you're Wolverine - that's kinda what you're for..."
Blinking, Logan nodded, standing shakily as the boy watched him to make sure he
wasn't going to get a back-hand.
"Tha's logical. You go drink now."
Logan let Rogue pull him away, her small hands strong and directing. His room
loomed up in front of him, and opening the door she led him inside. He stared
at the bed, hearing Rogue move about him, and with a keeling loss of balance he
let himself fall down onto the bed.
"No no no," she said, pulling him up, "Get those boots off..."
For some reason Logan reached for his belt buckle.
"Ha ha!" Rogue winced uncomfortably, "Shoes off first - then pants - under the
um - the um..."
She pointed at the comforter on the bed, frowning. Logan just tipped his head
with wobbling control.
"Ss-jus' me darlin'," he said, yanking off his boots with great grunts, "Nothin'
Rogue could only give him a tense smile. "I could think of quite a few people
offhand that'd disagree."
He grinned, "Are you one of them?"
Blushing wildly and pulling back the blankets, Rogue mumbled with a shaky smile,
Logan tipped aside easily as Rogue pulled the bed out from under his jock-clad
bottom, and throwing it over him deftly she pulled his feet down so that he lay
on his back. His legs, smooth, brown, delightfully muscled and hairy, stuck out
from under the covers, and he glared at them. Rogue laughed lightly, behind her
He frowned, "They're cold."
She took her bottom lip in her teeth, "Then put them under the blanket."
"Tha's'n idea..." He dragged them underneath, pointing at her. "You'r'a
"No," she said, "You're drunk off your nut."
His pointing grew more fervent whilst she pulled the corners straight on the
"Drugged!" he said, "I'm drugged. Big difference. I can han'le my alch- al-
beer very well thank you."
Walking over to the side of the bed she sat down next to him, meeting the glazed
hazel eyes earnestly.
"You should get some sleep, Logan. You've had a rough day."
"Tha's one word fer-it," he mumbled into his hands as he rubbed his face, and he
felt her fingertips run lines over his scalp with gloved silkiness. He rumbled
his approval, leaning into the hand and closing his eyes in delirium. Suddenly,
the hand was gone however, and the girl patted his chest.
"Remind me to never get you drunk again." She blinked, and gasped, "Oh! Before
I forget, I got something for you at the zoo today - you stay right here!"
She ran from the room, her steps echoing down the hall. Logan's thoughts
lingered to that of how slight she was in his arms, how soft. To Max's
insistence that the girl was somehow Logan's.
The footsteps soon returned, and the girl held a paper scrunch of back, and
something limp and plastic and brown hung from her lips.
"Ah sah zis'n thawt ah you!" she fought to say around the nozzle of the
inflatible something she blew into. He watched with intrigue as her cheeks
grew red from the puffing. After a few large lungfulls, a great darkness grew
in his chest. He wasn't sure if he was thinking it or saying it, but "Oh God,"
fell through his head. Pressing closed the nozzle, she lifted up the thing that
turned out to be a shiny brown inflatable monkey. It had little black eyes, a
pink muzzle with a wrinkled smiling mouth, and plastic tufts of fur either side
of it's face to create an absurd pvc set of mutton-chops. Everyone was out for
his look these days - even stupid inflatable monkeys and old dead guys.
"Isn't it cute?" she smiled brightly, "Ah saw it 'n it reminded me of you."
He wasn't sure whether to be flattered or insulted. Trotting over, she
deposited the plastic monkey on the bed next to him, bringing the scrunch of
paper back forward. She put it in his hands.
She pointed at it, "Open it."
He sighed, making deft tugs at the paper, gritting his teeth as he went.
Great. Perhaps it was another monkey something. As the paper was torn away
however, he unwittingly held his breath, the indignation inside of him melting
On a little earth-coloured rock, with a dead wood branch laid out behind it, was
a little porcelaine wolverine, big black nose turned up at him, long sculpted
locks of deep orange-red and a brown that was almost black painted over the
china body. He swallowed thickly, glancing up at Rogue, battling with himself
not to cry. Instead, he pointed at it.
"Now... that's cute."
Blushing, Rogue nodded, "Yeah, Ah thought so."
He smiled a little, poking at the little wolverine with a curious finger.
"You didn't have to get me this stuff."
She shrugged. "I thought you could use a get well soon present."
This time, the word had meaning, and sitting down next to him, she wrapped her
hand around one of his and squeezed gently.
"Well, I mean it. Get well soon."
"Good. Get some sleep."
She nodded at him, and patting his leg with finality, she rose and strolled to
the door, reaching for the knob. Logan growled, or thought he did, he couldn't
tell with his spinning head, or the sleep that came over him and made him
imagine things in astounding reality what hadn't actually happened yet as R.E.M
visions tried to claim him. He pushed the breath from his throat, went to growl
her name, but she was still moving, about to close the door. She was smiling
at him, waving a little goodbye.
It closed with a clunk. He blinked, frowning.
With a sigh of effort, he threw his head back onto the pillow, weariness from
the day battling with his urge to get up, race down the hall and stop her.
This was wrong, this was bad - she was getting the wrong idea entirely. She
thought this was the drink - it wasn't the drink - no he was drugged - but it
wasn't the drugs. He breathed carefully, trying to think, trying to plan,
trying to make sure he had a way of letting her know, trying to...
Perhaps he had breathed a little too carefully, a little too slowly. Perhaps
he'd let his body relax a little too much as he let his brain take over.
Either way, no amount of willpower or urging himself would wake him from the
slumber he'd let himself slip into. His body won the battle, and his mind would
have to make do when he awoke - whenever that would be.
Rogue smiled as she entered the female-crowded kitchen, the girls in there
chattering and making tea and coffee. A few men rested on sideboards - Hank,
Scott, Bobby, Johnny - but the younger boys soon evacuated the room that smelt
of perfumes from showers, tea, coffee, hot chocolate and herbal brews. The
expansive kitchen echoed with the cooed voices of the women, the strong tones of
opinion, the confident barking of laughter. It was set in to harmony with the
deeper voices of the men, Scott wry, humourous, yet ever tender, and Hank with
his Forsythean tones that screamed of intelligence and wit. For a moment, Rogue
listened to them, to Storm chatting about the charming Mr. Carter and his sweet
accent and the apparent dinner he asked Storm out for (You go girl, Rogue
thought), to Jubilee about how nothing really that rude happened at the back of
the bus she swore on her mother's grave. Kitty frowned.
"I thought our mother was still alive," she said.
"Yeah, ain't life a bitch?"
Amongst all of this, Scott glanced up, sitting at the work-table in the middle
of the room, hands wrapped around a mug of steaming somethingerather. He smiled
as he noticed Rogue hiding in the doorway.
"Hey Rogue - you look about how I feel."
She shook her head, walking into the room, "No. You can't possibly. Leading a
drunk Logan around by his collar is the kind of exhausting you don't wanna
Jean grinned, pouring her something into a mug. "Here - hot chocolate."
"Oh yes please," she groaned, "That sounds wonderful."
Jubilee sat in the corner, smirking secretively into her mug, shaking her
head. "Man - I got enough blackmail material on Logan from today to last me a
Kitty gave a thumbs up, "Oh yeah! Lap shot number one for starters!"
Jubilee cackled with glee, nodding and nudging Kitty, whilst Rogue just blushed.
"He was tired! Leave the poor guy alone - apparently he had enough rubbin'
alcohol to kill a small elephant."
"That's our Logan," chuckled Jean into her tea.
Rogue saw the amusement around the room at the situation, Cyclops grinning back
at his wife. This wasn't funny, thought Rogue, and with a cross of her arms
she frowned at everyone.
"Now see here," she said, "He could have been really hurt! Ah was scared to
Jean nodded, patting Rogue's shoulder, "I know I know, we shouldn't laugh..."
Jubilee sighed with a fawning look.
"He was just so cute and cuddly!" she said.
"Like bringing a cat home from the vet after it's been spayed," giggled Kitty.
Jubilee's laughter took a turn for the shrill and Rogue just shook her head.
"Next time you get put under for something in the infirmary and you start
swearing about the smurfs again - watch me laugh at you!"
"Okay okay," Jubes nodded, "I was kidding - I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry. It
was very scary."
Rogue looked up at Jean, pursing her lips in thought.
"Jean... what's gonna happen to the guy that did this to him?"
With a suddenly serious sigh, Jean shrugged.
"I don't know Rogue. We can keep tabs if you like - you might be asked to be a
witness if he goes to trial."
"Yeah but..." Rogue's eyes narrowed, "The judge won't care will he? The
judges never care when it comes to mutants."
Jean blinked sadly, meeting Scott's serious gaze.
"We don't know that Rogue. All we can do is hope for the best."
"Hope Logan doesn't remember the guy's face that did this to him," Scott added
Rogue took a tentative sip at the hot chocolate Jean had poured her, the sweet
warm milk melting down her throat. It wasn't rare for a judge to deliberately
move against mutants in the courts. In divorce settlements, the mutant parent
would lose all, and most certainly any children in the dissolving marriage, in
most petty crimes the mutants would get harsher penalties (for more muties away
in jail meant safer streets for all). It was a well known fact - there was no
justice for mutants. That's why the X-Men were around.
"If the courts act up, you can promise I'll be after the jerk myself," said
"Right behind ya," Kitty nodded.
"Yeah," agreed Jubilee, "We'll handcuff the bastard naked to a street lamp and
write 'Mutie-Hater' on his ass!"
"You'll do nothing of the sort," Scott said firmly as he glared at her from
behind ruby lenses. Jubilee frowned, fingering the rim of her cup.
"You're no fun."
Leaning against the sideboard next to Jean, Rogue closed her eyes, trying to add
up all the craziness of the day and come up with something. All she got was
muddled memories and an ache for her bed. She looked to Scott.
"Hey, is Max gonna start school here now?"
Scott looked thoroughly pleased as he nodded.
"Yeah. Next week."
Sighing with relief, Rogue smiled. "Great. Logan'll have a new friend too."
Rogue laughed softly, "Gosh - you should have seen those two after Logan figured
out his problem. Like he found his long lost kid brother or something - peas
in a pod - that sort of thing."
Scott looked up at her then, "Does that mean I should look forward to having
this kid in my classes or not?"
Rogue smiled knowingly, "I wouldn't make him angry."
Looking down to her cup, Rogue decided to knock back the last of the hot
chocolate, her weariness overtaking her. A shower, a long long nap. A nap
would be so nice. Downing the rest of the drink, she placed the mug in the
sink, rinsing it
"Thanks Jean," she said, "That was really nice."
Jean smiled back at her. "It's no problem, Rogue."
Rogue looked up to Jubilee.
"You and Logan were looking pretty snuggly on the way to the bus today, what was
up with that?"
Smiling a little, Rogue shook her head.
"I think it was just the druggin' affectin' him," she said, shrugging as she
spoke, "You know him - he's never usually like that."
Pursing her lips askew, Jubilee leant on tilted hips. "I dunno..."
Tapping her lips with a finger in thought, Rogue pointed to Jubilee, amusement
in her voice.
"Ya know what was really cute?"
"Just before he hugged me - he said he loved me!" She blinked suddenly, waving
her hands around in a gesture of dismissal, "I mean - I know he meant
platonically and all that but still - it was nice to hear it."
Jubilee's mouth was edged open a little, a look of disbelief on the girl's
face. Before she could speak, Rogue sighed.
"Okay - I'm off for a shower. Night everyone."
Whilst those around Jubilee all called goodnight, Rogue trudged from the room.
A strangled gasp of disbelief fell from Jubilee, and she pointed at the door
that Rogue had just walked out of.
Scott looked up, "Got something to say, Jube?"
"Unhh!" She waved a hand, "He told her he loved her!!"
Jean smiled, "Yeah but you hea-"
"No!" Jubilee shook her head, "No. No no no no. This is Logan we're talking
about here - LO-GAN!"'
>From Scott, "So?""So!" Disbelief of the reactions around her fuelled Jubilee's more shrill tones
of voice suddenly, "He LOVES her - like LOVES and she totally didn't get it!"
Jean looked patient, "Jubilee..."
Putting her mug down suddenly, Jubilee straightened. "I gotta tell her! I
gotta set this right! This is wrong!"
The girl glared at Scott, who had issued the negative.
"They gotta sort it out themselves, Jubes. You can't solve their problems for
them - that's not the way it works."
Jubilee gave a staggered gasp, "But they're in LOVE dammit! You're telling me
not to help them out? That's like telling me to let Romeo poison himself!"
"Yeah well," Scott shrugged, "Life sucks like that sometimes-"
Scott levelled his look at her, bringing the mug away from his mouth. "Look - he
has to find the balls to tell Rogue about it himself. It's up to him. You -
you stay out of it, and have your fun with Remy. If you get involved, things
will just get unnecessarily complicated."
Jubes opened her mouth but Scott raised a commanding hand.
"That's an *order*, Jubilee."
Folding her arms with a low growl, the girl scowled at her leader.
"Sometimes it royally *sucks* to be an X-Man!"
At that she stormed from the room in a string of muttered curses, and Kitty
frowned to Jean and Scott apologetically.
"She hates the original version of the Little Mermaid story too. I think she
petitioned Romeo and Juliet to be made into a Disney Movie recently - you know
what she's like."
With that the girl followed her best friend, leaving Jean and Scott alone with
Hank to ponder the situation. The telekinetic looked to her husband, brow
furrowed in thought.
"Honey, did you mean what you said with the 'complicating things' comment?"
"Yeah," Scott nodded, "I also thought if Jubes is right, and Logan is gonna
start chasin' after Rogue - don't you think she deserves a running start?"
With a knowing smile, Jean held down a laugh, which Hank gave openly.
"I guess you're right."
Pulling a five dollar note from his pants, Hank looked to Scott. "I'll place my
wager with the Wolverine."
Ending notes: You know, after reading this story, I realised how much it flies
in the face of 30 years of comic canon. Isn't it great?! Anyway - if I get
enough feedback I may write a sequel, and I was thinking of making it a special
"Cheeto-Run Style" illustrated story. Tell me what you think.
Lifelong member of PETS:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Scott!
"Cause Poor Ol' One Eye deserves a BREAK DAMMIT!"
"If Logan & Rogue were supposed to be a sibling-like,
then Hugh and Anna didn't get the friggin' memo..."
http://www.wolverineandrogue.com/cheeto/ -- Cheeto Run - the WR Fan Comic