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FIC: Everything Changes (1/1) [Rogue, Scott]

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  • razrbkr@juno.com
    Title: Everything Changes Author: kaly (razrbkr@juno.com) Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/kalyw Rating: PG (okay, so it s got ONE cuss word in it *l*)
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 3, 2000
      Title: Everything Changes
      Author: kaly (razrbkr@...)
      Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/kalyw
      Rating: PG (okay, so it's got ONE cuss word in it *l*)
      Archive: if I've given you permission before, go for it.
      Otherwise, please ask, thanks.
      Classification: angst
      Warnings: very slight spoilers for the movie
      Summary: Rogue is upset by a letter from home and comfort
      comes from an unexpected source.

      *Note* While this is similar in some ways to my previous
      story 'Points of View', I *don't* consider them to fit into the
      same universe, if you will. One doesn't have any connection to
      the other. Also, this as following movie canon - no real
      pairings involved, sorry. Rogue and Logan really did scream
      protective big brother to me *g*

      Thanks: First to Nix... *l* words fail me. After the other night, I
      will NEVER look at Raybans the same way again. ;) I am so glad
      you finally realized that resistance was futile, it gets me more
      fic to read and who could forget the insane chat sessions... ;)
      and to Richel who's comments fueled the semi-dormant bunny I
      had *l*

      Disclaimer: yeah, right, like Scott's mine. I wish. *g* Last time
      I looked, neither he nor any of those herein belonged to me. They
      go to (at least) Marvel and 20th Century Fox.




      Everything Changes



      She sat on the bench, just at the edge of the trees, alone. It
      was much the same as the day that she had fled the mansion for
      the train station all of those months ago. Only this time,
      instead of an uneaten lunch beside her, it was a half-crumpled
      letter resting in her lap that Rogue was doing her best to
      ignore.

      She was also trying her hardest to not give into the tears that
      were burning at the backs of her eyes. She knew crying wouldn't
      accomplish anything, but it hurt all the same. If anyone had
      asked, she might blame the moisture on the brilliant sunlight
      that broke through the trees, or allergies, or whatever. Not
      that it mattered, because she knew the truth.

      Glancing at the letter, Rogue knew that she had expected little
      else when she wrote her parents after her first few weeks at the
      school. At first, when she hadn't received a reply, she had
      wondered if they would even acknowledge her. Now that they had,
      she would have preferred that they had just ignored her.

      What kind of parents wrote three pages and said nothing but now
      upset everyone in town was? No 'how are you?' Not a 'we hope
      you're doing well.' Only accusations and rumor mongering. A
      tear finally slipped free and she closed her eyes. She wasn't
      going to cry, damn it.

      She wished Logan was back from his trip to . . . Wherever it
      was he had gone searching for his past. At least then she might
      have someone to talk to about it. They were different, true,
      but he understood somehow, like on the train. She missed that.

      As if sensing her thoughts, a shadow suddenly appeared, blocking
      out the light. "Mind if I sit down?" was the low-spoken request.

      Rogue looked up, startled by the question. When she saw whom it
      was, her dark eyes widened in shock. Logan all of a sudden showing
      up at the mansion would have made more sense. She blinked quickly
      to try and hide her surprise and shrugged. "Sure." She gestured
      toward the half-empty bench.

      Rogue couldn't imagine why he would want to talk to her. Scott
      smiled, or rather, his lips turned up slightly at the corners
      recognizing her surprise. Waiting a moment, he spared a glance
      around the courtyard before looking at Rogue. She, meanwhile,
      was doing her best to act normal. Whatever that was anymore.

      "I heard you got some mail from back home."

      Again, surprise marked Rogue's features and Scott laughed
      quietly. For a moment she was taken aback by the sudden
      emotion. Didn't the other students say that with Scott you
      never saw anything but calm?

      "Yeah," she replied, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.
      She clutched the letter, glancing at him with a hint of
      suspicion. "How'd you know?"

      "It's one of my powers, I always know who's up in mail call."

      Although his voice was even, Rogue could swear she could see a
      smile forming around what she could see of his eyes - or rather
      the stylish glasses he was wearing. Her own eyes narrowed,
      disbelieving. "Was that a joke?" she asked, her voice lighter
      than it was before.

      Still laughing, Scott nodded. A day of full of realized
      misconceptions, apparently, Rogue thought. "I have been known
      to make one on occasion, yes." He leaned toward her just a
      little, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Just don't tell
      anyone. Might ruin my reputation and all."

      Rogue couldn't believe her eyes. This was Scott Summers, leader
      of the X-Men. He was supposed to be reserved, collected. Never
      mind the opinions she had learned from Logan after he saved her
      life, which hadn't been kind to say the least. Suddenly, neither
      seemed to quite fit the person sitting beside her.

      Maybe it was true that everyone had a surprise or two up their
      sleeve. It was certainly looking more and more likely at the
      moment. She smiled for the first time since reading the letter
      from back home. "Well, then. I suppose your secret is safe with
      me."

      "That's good to know." Then the laughter was gone from his voice
      and he was serious again. "Did your parents have bad news?"

      Glancing once more at the letter, Rogue pressed it out flat
      against her skirt. "It depends on what you mean by bad news, I
      guess."

      "They aren't very understanding, are they?" She was caught off
      guard by how softly the question was spoken, dropping just above
      a whisper. Yet another surprise to add to the list, she noted.
      What was it her dad used to say? In for a penny, in for a pound?

      The thought of her life with her parents before her powers -
      when everything was normal - brought the pain back anew. Somehow
      she managed to take a shaking breath without any more tears
      falling. Staring at her hands, Rouge shook her head.

      He wasn't Logan by any stretch of the imagination. Something
      inside her wanted to laugh at the comparison. She knew Logan
      would find the idea of similarities between Scott and himself
      absurd. But she didn't laugh. Instead, she was grateful for the
      open ear, even if she still didn't quite understand why he was
      there.

      "No." She spoke so quietly that Scott almost didn't hear. "They
      don't actually say they think I'm a freak . . ." Rogue fumbled
      with the letter, the movements betraying her anxiety. "But I
      know better."

      "It's hard, when the people you care about can't accept you."
      His voice spoke of one who had been there before, Rogue realized.
      Her curiosity was growing, wanting to know how many faces really
      were behind the visor. The longer they continued to speak, the
      more her opinions were changing.

      Scott continued speaking after a short pause, startling Rogue
      from her thoughts. "I would think that when it's your
      parents . . . It would be that much harder."

      Rogue sniffed, reaching up with a gloved hand to push her hair
      out of her face. "I thought parents were supposed to always be
      there for you. Not turn their backs when things got strange."
      She blinked again, determined not to cry. Scott was silent for
      the moment, and she realized what he had just said.

      "You said you 'would think' parents not accepting us would be
      worse." She looked at the older man, wishing she could read his
      eyes. "Did your parents understand what was happening to you?"

      Scott shook his head, clasping his hands in his lap. "My parents
      were out of my life for sometime before my powers developed." He
      shrugged, as if it didn't matter.

      Rogue's forehead scrunched in thought. "Where were they?"

      "They died when I was young, several years before I discovered
      my powers."

      She looked at him with sad eyes. "I'm sorry."

      Scott nodded. "Life is full of lost chances and what ifs,
      sometimes it's best to let them lie." He looked at her for
      several moments. Rogue had the distinct impression she now knew
      what a bug under a microscope felt like. "But what matters right
      now is that you're upset."

      Rogue shook her head, trying to force a smile, but failing
      miserably. "I shouldn't be, I know . . ."

      "Why not?" Scott asked, interrupting her. "No one said that
      being a mutant meant that nothing should bother you."

      The conversation was starting to give Rogue a headache, trying
      to work out all the different angles. "But what about . . ."
      she stopped, unsure if she should continue that thought. It might
      be pressing her luck, and the last thing she needed to do was
      offend Scott Summers. Taking a deep breath, she threw caution
      into the winds and finished her question. "What about you? It
      seems like nothing bothers you."

      When he smiled this time, Rogue couldn't help but notice how sad
      it was. "There's a secret to being a leader, Rogue. Projecting
      no emotion and feeling no emotion are two very distinct things.
      Not letting those emotions control you in a tight situation is
      just a part of the duty. Feeling them is just a part of being
      human."

      Scott shrugged, as if trying to deny the weight that rested on
      his broad shoulders. "If I seem like I'm always in control, or
      that I always need to be in control . . . It's because I have
      to be."

      "Is it because you're the leader, or because of your powers?"
      She closed her mouth with a gasp. The question was out of her
      mouth before she had time to think about what she was saying.
      Then again, who knew when she might get a chance like this again?
      Who would have guessed she would have it at all?

      The sad look was back on Scott's face. Somehow Rogue knew he
      was surprised by the question. She found herself wondering if
      everyone just took him at face value. "A little of both, I
      suppose. Everything we experience helps make us who we are -
      both the good and the bad." He tapped his sunglasses with his
      hand. "Even the things that would seem to alienate us from
      everyone else."

      "Like my gloves," Rogue said, looking from his glasses to her
      hands.

      He nodded. "Exactly. I think we're sort of alike in that
      respect." Scott reached out and took one of her hands. "You
      can't touch people and they can't touch you. Yet that basic
      connection is something almost everyone takes for granted."

      Rogue thought for a moment before looking up to meet Scott's
      gaze. Well, what she assumed would be his gaze if she could
      see through the mirrored glasses. "People can't really see you,
      can they? We all rely the idea that people can look us in the
      eye and know a little more about us. Only they just see your
      visor."

      She smiled when Scott looked surprised. "Yeah, I guess you could
      put it that way. We're both trapped behind our powers. What
      makes us special also sets us apart." He let go of her hand,
      and propped his elbow on the back of the bench. "It may never
      be something you like or want, but it is something you come to
      accept in time. You have to, or you'd go out of your mind."

      "It was lonely," she said a long moment later. "When I was on
      the road before I met Logan, I mean." Scott recognized the far
      away look in her eyes. He could remember seeing it in the mirror
      after he had lost his parents, when he could still see his own
      eyes. A lifetime ago, now.

      Rogue kept speaking, caught up in the images of her life when
      she ran away. "I was so scared I would touch someone by accident.
      I'd never felt alone like that before." She shook her head,
      staring at the dark gloves that covered her hands and arms. "But
      in the end, I didn't want to face anything so I just kept
      running."

      "You do know you're not alone here? Most of the students would
      understand."

      Rogue nodded, but her curiosity quickly got the better of her.
      Her curiosity seemed to be out of control at the moment. "But
      what about you? Why are you here? I'm sure there are other more
      important things that you could be doing right now than talking
      to me."

      He shook his head slowly. "You would be surprised how far you
      can run - even with your eyes closed, Rogue." Scott was quiet
      for a moment and looked away, out into the trees. "Even if it's
      just inside your own head."

      She blinked, not believing what she had just heard. "You? Run
      away?" Rogue wanted to laugh. She couldn't imagine either Scott
      or Logan running from anything. Then again, she reminded herself,
      not everything is how it seems on the surface. If nothing else
      that would be one thing her unexpected conversation with Cyclops
      taught her.

      "Well, at least until I ran into that wall." He grinned, rubbing
      his forehead with one hand. "Couldn't look up to see where I was
      going, you know." Rogue blinked, caught off guard by the sudden
      change.

      She thought for a moment, titling her head to the side and
      staring off into space. "Will I be able to laugh about it like
      that someday, do you think?" Meeting his gaze, she added,
      "'Cause that day seems really far away right now."

      Resting his hand on Rogue's shoulder, Scott nodded. "You will.
      Even now, some days will be better than others. You just have
      to face them all. And never forget that there are others here
      that care for you." Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he gestured
      toward some of the other students with a tilt of his head.
      "They've been there, and they'll be there. Just give them
      chance."

      "Like the Professor was here when you got your powers?" Rogue
      asked, folding the letter and placing it back in the envelope.

      "Yeah, like that. We all need somebody who understands. It's
      just a matter of finding them."

      Rogue stood, shoving the letter into her pocket. Tucking a
      lock of hair behind her ear, she smiled. "Thanks."

      Scott tilted his head to the side, a bemused look on his
      face. "Whatever for?" he asked, standing.

      She knew his confusion wasn't real, but she smiled and nodded.
      "Just for being there." Right then, Rogue heard someone calling
      her name from behind her. Turning she saw Jubilee wave at her.
      Waving in response, she looked back at Scott. "Just . . . Thanks,
      ya know?"

      He nodded, the half-smile from earlier back on his face. "No
      problem."


      End
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