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Nightmares, Babies, andSweets, Oh *beep*! (1/?)

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  • Adrea1983@aol.com
    *waves to everyone cuz she s a lurker* Well, I decided to really delurk and post something stupid. :o) Disclaimer: If I owned them I d make the X-Babies into
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 27 4:22 PM
      *waves to everyone 'cuz she's a lurker* Well, I decided to really delurk and
      post something stupid. :o)

      Disclaimer: If I owned them I'd make the X-Babies into an animated
      series.Alas, I do not own a thing in this fic, everything is own byMarvel -
      and or - Fox.
      Genre: Humor (I hope)
      Rating: PG
      Pairing: Well, some Logan/Rogue (in a way) and Scott/Jean
      Synopsis: After arriving at Alkali Lake, Logan encounters something worse
      than his own nightmares.
      Author: Adréa

      Nightmares, Babies, and Sweets, Oh *beep*!

      The address was memorized, the route was improvised. Which probably added
      another two days to the trip, but hey, it was rather scenic and peaceful,
      something he happily used to its every advantage. Glancing a mile up ahead,
      Logan spotted the sign he wanted and turned off the highway and onto the exit

      The town was far away from the complex Xavier had spotted, so he would have
      to set up base in a hotel room, get some food, and gas up before heading out.

      He pulled into the parking lot of the nearest one and turned off the
      motorcycle. He made sure the small trailer he'd gotten a few days ago was
      still hitched and secure before heading inside to get a room.

      The hotel was cheap but decent, he knew the chain well and had never had much
      problem with it. It sure beat the roach infested, do-everything-yourself
      motels he's stayed in before. And with Xavier's helpful credit card, he could
      afford anything he well pleased.

      Not like he was one for charity, but it was free money! He may be Canadian,
      but he's been in America enough to know you never pass up on free money.

      Paying for three days in advanced, the little old man behind the desk swiped
      the card through and waited for it to approve before handing the key over to
      the gruff man. Logan could tell that he greatly intimidated the old man.
      Funny thing was, he wasn't even trying to.

      Logan wheeled the bike to a parking space close to the room. He fingered the
      key to the lock on the small trailer and unlocked it, grabbing the two duffel
      bags inside. Slinging the heavy carriers over one shoulder, he pocketed the
      keys and took out the hotel one. He climbed the stairs to the second floor
      and opened up the door to his room.

      Not bad, not overly nice either. But he'd stayed in far worse conditions.
      Wonderful memories of the week he spent in a dumpster filled his head. {Just
      what I need,}
      he thought as he careless tossed the bags on the floor. His
      plan was to grab something to eat, gas us, then head to the abandoned
      military complex. It should take him only around an hour to get there once
      that was done.

      * * *

      With a fully filled stomach and gas tank - the motorcycle, folks - Logan made
      his way to the abandoned military complex Chuck had showed him on that...
      that... thingie. {I don't what it was, but it pretty damn cool.}

      Well, he had to give to Chuck, he was right. It was abandoned. There was
      nothing left that would indicate what had been going on in there when it was
      being used. It was just an old, dusty, dirty shell of a compound that had
      seen some action in some areas. It looked like the central power generator
      exploded at some point.

      Once he got to what appeared to be either the security station, or the really
      big data room, he tried to get the screens working. Using power from
      somewhere unknown, the panels were still lite up and things still worked. One
      by one the monitors on the wall flickered to life.

      "The Simpsons?" he said to himself. {Great, they still get cable at least.
      Where's the remote? Yep, with a little paint, some curtains, this place could
      be livable.}
      It had really surprised him that someone wasn't already.

      After fiddling with the controls for a while, Logan determined there was
      nothing but cable access television. And right now, Homer stuffing his face
      with donuts wasn't very interesting. Leaving the TVs on to burn themselves
      out in time, he started to make his way out of the complex.

      Logan made a few twists and turns and lifts and jumps down the broken
      corridors until he finally admitted to himself: He was lost. "Dammit!" His
      sense of direction was normally so good, but he must had been so preoccupied
      with finding something he didn't pay enough attention on how to get out.

      It wasn't long before he found himself in another room full of monitors and
      other odd looking devices and equipment. A faint smell of burnt ozone and
      smoke tinged his sensitive nose. {The monitors are on, maybe one burned
      But all of them were working.

      Then something else hit him. The smell of living beings. He tensed, ready for
      an attack, just waiting to pop his claws and strike.

      "OW! Hey... who turned out the lighth?" a high-pitched voice, much like a
      child's pierced the air.

      A giggle followed. "Here, silly," said an even higher pitched voice.

      "Oh! Thankth. What happened? Where are we?"

      "Wolvie pressed the button!"

      "I did not!"

      "Did too!"

      "Did not!"

      "Now he's got cooooooties!"

      "Even if that button did have cooties, I got me a healin' factor. 'Member?"

      "Oh yeah..."

      Logan couldn't believe. It was a bunch of kids he was hearing. If it weren't
      for the fact the nearest signs of any sort of civilization was back in the
      city, he wouldn't be too concerned that there were. {But they couldn't have
      gotten here on their own.}
      What was worse, one of the kids was called Wolvie
      and claimed to have a healing factor.

      As quietly as he could, Logan peeked around some of the equipment. If he was
      prone to passing out, he would have. Damn if he didn't want to right there.

      What he saw standing there were mini versions of himself and some of the
      people he knew. They looked like cute three year olds, but they certainly
      didn't talk like them. It was like Rugrats meets Austin Powers.

      "Firtht we had to go into a room titled 'Do Not Enter'! Then Wolvie had to
      puth the big thiney, red, blinking button in the middle of da room that thaid
      'Do Not Puth, Cootieth!'!" The mini-Cyclops whined to the rest of the little

      Logan could spot Cyclops, Jean, Rogue, himself, and Storm. But there were a
      bunch of others he didn't know.

      "We're free of that flubber butt, Mojo, aren't we?" his Mini-Me replied.

      "Dat's right! We be free!" exclaimed a kid he didn't know.

      Mini-Rogue hopped up and down before flying up in the air. {Whoa... maybe
      there are still toxic fumes... I've gotta be halucinating or dreaming or
      something... Grown-up Rogue can't even fly.}

      A scream from the girl caught his attention. He looked at her and realized
      he'd been found out. She flew over to him and grabbed him by his collar,
      flipping him onto the floor with intense strength.

      {That's also new...}

      Logan couldn't help but feel like he was in Gulliver's Travels when the tike
      patrol gathered around him. Even behind the visor, Logan could tell
      Mini-Cyclops was squinting his eyes while looking at him. "He look'th kinda
      like you, Wolvie."

      "He looks cuuuuuuuute!" Mini-Rogue exclaimed and happily sat herself down on
      Logan's chest. A growl came from Wolvie at this.

      {Toxic fumes, has to be,} he mentally drilled it into his head that he was
      dreaming or hallucinating.

      The red headed girl giggled. "Nope, we're as real as you are, sweetie."

      {Shiiiiiit! This has GOT to be a dream!}

      Mini-Jean gasped. "You shouldn't swear! Meanie! Shower, wash his mouth out."

      Mini-Storm's blue eyes became the milky white as a small rain cloud formed
      over Logan's head. Next thing he knew, rain water was pouring down on his
      face. If he wasn't dreaming, he was in hell.

      Rolling so Mini-Rogue would fall of him, Logan got to his feet and shook the
      water from his face. "Who are you?"

      "We're de X-Babies!" said the one with the red on black eyes.


      A furry blue kid stepped forward. "You see, we come from Mojo-verse. And
      alternap dipension. We believe there was a hiccup in the Space Time
      Contimooim that caused the X-Men movie to be shown there. It got very high
      ratings, so Mojo wanted the X-Men. But couldn't get them. So a lot of
      research was put into finding out more, then ta-da! The X-Babies were born!"

      A darker furry blue kid with a tail appeared in front of Logan's face.
      Looking up, he could see the kid was hanging on pipes located in the ceiling
      by his tail. "And we are the hottest things in Mojo-verse!" the kid spoke
      with a faint German accent.

      Mini-Cyclops looked up at Logan. "You wouldn't happened to have notithed a
      bunch of Brotherhood of Mutant Bullieth running around?"


      "Drath." Cyclops pouted, then turned to the others. "We have to find them!
      The fate of all the ithe cream and candy in the world dependth on uth!"

      "Yeah!" the mini's chorused.

      "Hold it!" Logan yelled, catching the attention of the mini's. "What the hell
      are you talking about?"

      Mini-Jean and Mini-Storm gasped at his swearing again. Mini-Cyclops opened
      his mouth to explain, but just then the pipe the dark furred one was on came
      loose and he fell, taking a good portion of the ceiling with him which
      happened to land on Logan's head.

      * * *

      He woke with an intense throbbing in his head, and Saturday morning cartoons
      being blared from a TV. A slight moan escaped his lips and he opened his
      eyes. He stared at the ceiling a moment before looking to either side of him.

      Logan was back in his hotel room. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. "It was
      a dream..." He must have laid down or something and fallen asleep with the TV
      on and then had a dream.

      Something heavy jumped onto his chest. "Waky, waky, cutie-patootie!"

      Logan's eyes flung open in terror and his sight was overwhelmed with the
      smiling face of Mini-Rogue, complete with the white streak in her otherwise
      auburn hair. "How...?"

      "We got a trucker to carry us an' you back here, sug'. We found the hotel key
      in your pocket and got you here. All it took was giving the guy your bike,"
      Mini-Rogue declared, smiling at their brilliant plan.

      "You gave up my bike?!" Mini-Rogue gave him a sweet smile that made it damn
      hard to stay mad at. "Get off me," he growled.

      Mini-Rogue scooted herself off Logan so he could sit up and stare at all the
      kids in his hotel room. "I'm Sugah." As she introduced the gang, she pointed.
      "That's Cyke, Wolvie, Phoenix, Shower, Icebaby, Beast, Creepycrawler, and

      He felt like he needed a drink. A very strong drink. Instead, he settled for
      calling for help. Digging the number out of a duffel bag, Logan went to the
      phone in the room. As he picked up the receiver, he noticed the cord had been
      pulled from the plug and couldn't be fixed. He would have swore, but he
      didn't feel like getting drenched again by Shower.

      Instead, he slammed the receiver down, which caused Sugah to jump and fall
      off the bed. The little girl burst into tears.

      "Why you *beep*! You're gonna *beepin* regret you ever *beepin* did that!"
      Next thing Logan knew, Wolvie had launched himself onto Logan and popped out
      his little claws. "You *beep* will never *beepin* hurt her again, you *beep*
      *beep* *beeeeeeeep!"

      After wrestling with Wolvie for a few minutes while the other X-Babies just
      sat there wishing they had popcorn, Logan succeeded in throwing down his

      Sugah leaped up and ran over to him. "My heeeeeeero!" she latched onto Wolvie
      and smothered him in kisses that never actually touched him.


      Logan turned to the X-Babies once they all had calmed down, trying to ignore
      the lovey stares Sugah was giving him, and the evil glares Wolvie was giving
      him. "Look... I have to go and make a phone call... You all just stay here,
      don't leave this room. You can watch your cartoons..." Chuck was never going
      to believe him, psychic or not. But there was no way he was going to be able
      to deal with this on his own.

      So Logan left the room to go to the lobby to call the mansion for help.

      * * *

      Logan obviously has never had to really deal with kids before. Otherwise he
      would have known never to say what he did. It was like a challenge for kids
      to break it.

      Ten seconds after he left, Icebaby was pacing the room. "I'm bored!"

      Wolvie jumped down from the bed he had plopped his small frame on. "Let's go
      tracking for candy! Maybe we'll find the Brotherhood of Mutant Bullies while
      we're at it!"

      The X-Babies seemed quite happy with this plan. Except for one. And as Wolvie
      opened the door, Cyke put his foot down. "No!"

      All the excited babies froze and looked back at their leader. "Big Wolvie
      thaid we thtay here, tho we thtay here."

      "What?" Icebaby asked. Sometimes it was just so hard to understand what their
      fearful leader was saying.

      "We aren't going!" Cyke shouted in response.

      "Cyke is right, we shouldn't," Jean stuck up for the baby she adored.

      The rest of them looked at each other, then looked at Cyke and Jean.

      * * *

      After convincing the Professor that the team needed to get there A.S.A.P.
      because of an emergency, even though Logan wouldn't say what the emergency
      was, he hung up the phone and walked out to go back to his room.

      The first thing he noticed outside was a little red haired girl running after
      a metal garbage can that was rolling at a fast speed across the sloped
      parking lot. The second thing he noticed was that the little girl was Jean
      and that someone was screaming from inside the can, "I think I'm gonna be

      Logan couldn't help but wince as the can hit the wall of a building with a
      loud bang! He ran over to Jean who was trying to help whoever was inside. He
      didn't need to get up to it to realize who after a red beam blasted a hole
      through the round can. It took everything Logan had not to laugh at poor Cyke
      as he wobbled out of the can.

      "What happened? Where are the others?" Logan demanded.

      "Um... I don't know... they left and put my poor Snooky-wooky in danger..."
      Jean said as she fussed over Cyke.

      He growled and grabbed the two pint-sized X-Men, trying to think of where the
      others could have gone. Somehow he thought of the candy/ice cream place that
      he had noticed nearby earlier in his hunt for food. Half dragging, half
      carrying the two kids, he made his way there.

      Sure enough, the X-Babies had taken over the place. They were currently
      stuffing their faces with ice cream and candy bars and anything else they
      could get their hands on while the workers tried to rally them up and keep
      them away from the goods.

      Shower formed those little rain clouds over the workers and Icebaby froze a
      few of them to the floor as Logan entered with the other two. He let loose a
      loud growl and the X-Babies paused, mid-whatever they were doing and stared
      at him.

      His growl was accompanied by a very familiar growl behind him. {It ca

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