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FIC: Scott's a God - PG13

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  • Mean Spleen
    Title: Scott s a God Author: The Mean Spleen (the_mean_spleen@yahoo.com) Rating: PG13 Feedback: I ll write to you if you write to me. Disclaimer: X-men and
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 4, 2000
      Title: Scott's a God
      Author: The Mean Spleen (the_mean_spleen@...)
      Rating: PG13
      Feedback: I'll write to you if you write to me.
      Disclaimer: X-men and all the associated characters are the
      property of Marvel.
      Summary: What if, just for once, everything went right for
      Scott and Logan was the only one annoyed by this change.

      Notes: This is a relatively old story that I put up
      elsewhere some time ago. I'm not pro or anti Scott. I just find
      it funny how much abuse he gets regularly. Does anyone know how to
      fix how writing appears here. The sentences seem to have created a
      structure all of their own.

      If you wish to archive this, please email me and let me know where it
      ends up.

      "But what if it wasn't just one big bang but in fact a whole series
      of small bangs. Thus making Einstein's theory would have to be

      Beast was stunned. "That's absolutely brilliant, Scott. I wouldn't
      have thought of that for the very life of me."

      "Not a problem, Hank." Scott smiled, the light from the rising sun
      catching his teeth just right. He left Beast and returned to the
      kitchen where he was cooking a large breakfast for the entire
      faculty. Hank slumped down next to Ororo.

      "My, my. That Scott is a man of many talents." Hank commented
      to Ororo, who was far more interested in watching the man in
      question's behind leaving the room.

      "He certainly is." She commented, her voice betraying more
      then a hint of lust.

      "You may want to control yourself, here comes the young man's
      paramour." Beast comment slyly as Jean almost stumbled into the
      room, her face all flushed and her hair a mess.

      Ororo almost laughed. "Jean, you look like you went a few rounds
      with Logan."

      If she could have gone any brighter a shade of red she would have
      done. She almost looked hung over, Beast noted. "Is everything
      okay, you don't look your usual collected self?"

      "Let's just say I didn't get much sleep last night."

      She could hear her beloved in the kitchen singing some operatic
      number she vaguely recognized, in perfect key. "I don't know where he
      gets his energy or his imagination. Some of the things he did last

      "If I might interrupt Jean, but some of us are confined to the
      lab and don't need such a vivid mental picture to keep us company."
      Beast said, blushing self-consciously at Jean's wonderings.

      "Ladies, gentleman, breakfast is served." Scott proclaimed as
      he came from the kitchen bearing five rather large trays, balanced
      perfectly between his large arms. He placed them gently down on the
      table in front of his friends. He placed one in front of each of them
      before walking off with the fifth. The tray held coffee, a glass of
      orange juice, everyone's individual favourite cereal, some slices of
      toast and freshly baked brown bread.

      "Where you going, hon?" Jean asked.

      "The professor needs to eat too so I made an extra meal for

      "You think of everything." Jean said, her face a mirror of
      the admiration she felt for him.

      Scott frowned for a moment, his handsome features marred by such an
      unusual facial gesture as worry. "Not at all, dear. If I did, I
      have found out what brand of coffee he prefers and purchased it for
      him, but damn my short-sightedness. I only have this ground blend for
      him. I'll know better next time."

      Scott left them with that and went off towards the Professor's

      The Professor was already up and around, looking over some of the
      student reports. "Scott," he asked as Scott entered, "I
      wonder have
      you had a chance to look at these reports yet."

      "I have them right here," Scott commented, indicating the
      placed neatly next to the brown bread on the tray. "I've gone
      them all, rated them and placed my comments at the end for your

      "That's great. It will save me a lot of time, and that bread

      "I cooked it myself last night as I was repairing the dent on the
      plane." Scott said. "If you'll excuse me, I better get
      back to my own
      breakfast before Jean eats the lot."

      "Of course Scott and thanks for the breakfast."

      "No problem." Scott said as he left and made his way back to
      the hall.

      On his way back, he heard the faint strains of a guitar coming from
      the student's dorms. Curiosity getting the better of him, he
      to investigate. He followed the sound of the guitar and couldn't
      but grimace as who was ever playing missed a vital cord of the tune.

      He knocked on the door, causing the music to cease and St. John to
      announce dully, "Yeah. Come in."

      "I couldn't help but overhear your playing," Scott said
      pointing to
      the discarded guitar on the bed. "I noticed you have a bit of
      doing a quick reversal."

      "Ah yeah, I can't quite get the hang of it." John
      mumbled, surprised
      that anyone had noticed the small mistake.

      "Show me your grip."

      St. John held the guitar and assumed the pose.

      "Ah, it's as I suspected." Scott declared. He took the
      guitar and
      held it more upright, "here if you take this grip instead,
      have much more freedom of movement." To demonstrate he quickly
      off a complicated Latin number which involved quite a deal of finger

      "Mr Summers, I didn't know you could play."

      "Well, I played lead in a band back in school. We weren't any
      but we practiced hard and so should you."

      "I will, Mr Summers. I will. You have inspired me beyond

      Scott smiled, the sun managed to find a way to shine off his perfect
      white teeth.

      He left the young arsonist to his guitar and returned back to the
      hall receiving warm greetings from all the students he met on the way.

      The world seemed perfect when Scott was around. Well perfect for
      everyone except one particularly grouchy individual who just hated
      the fact that Scott was just so super nice to him.

      "Ah Logan, I've made some breakfast for you. I hope you like
      brown bread." Scott declared as the hairy one entered, snarling
      some kids who got in his way.

      Logan had to wince as the sun reflecting off Scott's teeth
      him. It was going to be a long day.

      "Ladies, Hank," Logan said as he approached the bench,
      ".ssho.." he
      mumbled as he looked at Scott.

      "And good morning to you Logan," Hank said ignoring
      Logan's usual
      blustery morning mood.

      Logan stared down at the full dish in front of a minute and thought
      for a second he had missed an announcement about a formal breakfast
      being served.

      "Logan, I was wondering if I might have a word." Scott's
      voice broke
      his solemn silence.

      "What?" Logan answered sharply.

      "Professor Xavier asked me to demonstrate some advanced fighting
      techniques to the older students and I was wondering if you would
      help me out, ya know, trade a few blows."

      Hitting the golden boy a few times appealed to Logan at the very
      moment so he nodded his head.

      Seeing he had got his man, Scott smiled, (the sun caught his teeth of
      course) and informed Logan to be at the main assembly area at 11
      before leaving Logan to his full breakfast.

      Seeing Scott leave, Logan looked at the others. "All I wanted was
      cup of coffee and instead I get a four course meal."

      "Be thankful, Logan. It may be the last time we taste well cooked
      food for a while." Storm said, her stomach already informing her
      it wanted more of the same and more of it now.

      "Yeah, thankful." Logan echoed as he had some of the golden
      coffee. Though he'd rather shave then tell anyone, it was a damn
      cup. He'd have to hit Scott even harder for this he decided.
      feeling better about himself, he got up and decided to return to his
      room to some stretching before he went and destroyed the almighty

      Scott made his way around the dorm, informing all the appropriate
      students that Logan and he would be giving the demonstration. A few
      of the younger kids wanted to go as well, and with that smile of his,
      he of course said that they were more then welcome.

      Jubilee and Marie were the last two on his list and he made his way
      to their room.

      The two girls had spotted him making his rounds earlier and had
      rushed back to their rooms to get them suitably prepared for his
      knocking on their door. Though it was friendly enough, the battle for
      Mr. Summer's attention was fierce among the older girls. A smile
      him (and what a smile it was too) carried with it bragging rights for
      a week.

      Happily prepared, the girls eagerly awaited the knock on their door.
      Jubilee already had her plan of attack ready whereas Marie was going
      to play it by ear. Jubilee wore the smallest top she had and to say
      that handkerchiefs would offer more warmth would be an
      understatement. She stood ready, a number of books balanced in her
      arms. Upon Scott's knocking she would "accidentally" drop
      them, lean
      over to pick them up and treat Mr Summers to an eyeful he
      soon forget.

      The knock came. Marie calmly said "Come in."

      Scott stuck his head around the side of the door, he evidently
      startled Jubilee who dropped a number of books she seemed to be
      carrying. She started to lean over to pick them up.

      "Hold up Jubilee," Scott held her by the shoulder before she
      got the
      chance to give Scott his best side as she called it, "What kind
      of a
      man would I be if I left a young lady pick up something she had
      dropped." And he promptly got down on his hands and knees to pick
      the errant books and hand them to Jubilee who stood silently cursing
      his gallant behaviour. Marie, however saw her chance and glided into
      the room wearing her cut off jeans. As Scott got back up, his eyes
      automatically followed her long legs up.

      "Marie," he said huskily.

      "Yes, Mr Summers." She answered idly playing with her finger.

      "While those pants will do wonders for your tan, I doubt that
      really suitable for the fighting course."

      "Of course not. You're right as always, Mr Summers." She
      turned and
      walked back to the bathroom, shaking her hips all the way.

      "Mr Summers."

      "Yes Jubilee."

      "Marie and I were wondering if we might go into town later on to
      supplies for the party tonight."

      "No problem, I'll drive you if you want. Remember, the
      demo's on at
      11, girls, in the main assembly." And he left briskly, not
      wanting to
      make the girls uncomfortable as they changed.

      He marvelled at how the girls could wear such things in this day and
      age. It hadn't been like that with Jean and him, that's for
      sure. He
      knew she'd laugh with him later when he told her about it (She
      actually, her exact response was "those scheming little
      harlots." But
      being naturally good natured, Scott assumed she was joking.)

      Scott went about his rounds making sure everything was in order
      before getting ready for the session against Logan.

      He got to the hall early but found that a sizeable crowd had already
      gathered. Logan was already there, stretching in his loose pants,
      wearing no top and ready for action or so it seemed.

      Logan watched his opponent approach and couldn't help but grin in
      anticipation with what he was going to do to him. Since he had come
      to the academy, he'd be waiting for a legitimate excuse to tangle
      with Scott and now he had it.

      Scott came up to him and smiled, the sunlight filtering through the
      skylight catching the pearly whites perfectly. Logan wondered if he
      might be able to knock one of them out. It would sure be worth the
      try, he considered.

      "I thought we might start with a few simple grapples to get them
      to speed. Do you want to come at me or should I go at you?"

      "Oh, I'll come at you" Logan said as calmly as he could
      though all
      his body sang "Scott's going to get his legs broken,
      Scott's going to
      get his legs broken"

      "Okay, fine. Whenever you're ready."

      Scott turned to the crowd, which now included the entire faculty as
      well as all the students.

      "Good Morning, folks. Those that attend my class know that this
      be a demonstration of advanced fighting techniques and manoeuvres.
      Logan has kindly agreed to help out so why don't you all show him
      your appreciation."

      Most of the girls cheered while the some of the boys clapped.

      Jean who sat next to Ororo whispered in her ear.

      "My two favourite men getting all hot and sweaty. I may have to
      go to
      bed early tonight."

      Hank who was seated in front of them, turned back to look at her
      before rolling his eyes dramatically for effect.

      Out on the floor, Scott and Logan faced each other. Scott silently
      mouthed "good luck" to Logan, who in return mouthed
      "I'm going to
      kill you" which Scott misread as "the same to you."

      Logan charged.

      The idea with a charge is to simply overpower your opponent, but for
      some reason Logan found himself, lying on his stomach, the air sucked
      from his lungs, with Scott's knee in his back and his hand
      grasped at
      an awkward angle behind his head.

      "And there you see how we use an opponent's momentum against
      Scott said calmly to the class. He released Logan who jumped up,
      didn't wait for them to retake a stance before jumping in again.
      Scott caught by surprise was knocked down but he quickly reversed the
      hold and again held Logan's arm behind him.

      "Oh yeah, I had forgot about that. It's important to remember
      that if
      someone gets you in some kind of a hold, there's always a way out
      it. If you think clearly, there's no enemy who can't be

      He let Logan go again, and this time Logan decided against jumping
      straight back in. Scott leaned over and whispered lightly to him,
      there anything you want me to do, you're making me look awful
      out there."

      Logan shook his head, unable to clear it of the red haze that was
      slowly descending on it. "Let's see how good you look with no
      teeth." He mumbled in hindsight. "Damn, I should have said
      that" he

      Scott stood casually as he addressed the class. "Here you see
      fighting with no top. Clothes can be a disadvantage when fighting,
      certainly as it's possible for an opponent to get a grip on them.
      However, with someone like Logan who's rather, well, hairy, much
      the advantage is lost. Hope you don't mind me saying that,"
      smiled and some of the students laughed lightly.

      Logan exaggerated his own smile, "yeah, laugh it up smiley"

      Scott continued, "I myself make sure to shave to ensure that it
      a problem." He took off his own judo top (what the hell are those
      things called?) to reveal a tanned and toned top. Some of the girls
      in the crowd thought that someone was stealing the air from the room
      as they were having trouble breathing. Jean leaned into Ororo
      again. "Now they're half naked. I'm gonna have to go to
      bed early."

      "You and me both," Ororo replied, almost licking her lips.

      "I'll demonstrate," Scott said and turned to face Logan
      who had
      decided to start trading blows rather then grappling.

      Logan lashed out with a fist, which Scott avoided, grabbed with his
      own hand and then moved in catching a handful of Logan's
      and using it as leverage to throw him to the ground.

      "Owww," Logan shouted.

      Scott got up quickly, "Logan, I'm so sorry." The reason
      for the
      apology became apparent when Scott unclenched his hand and a little
      ball of Logan's hair fell to the ground. A nice bald patch had
      appeared in the middle of Logan's chest.

      Logan quickly regained his composure. "It's nothing.
      It'll heal in no
      time. Go on with the demo."

      "Really I'm sorry, Logan. Ah anyway people, this illustrates
      point I'm making. Anything can be used for leverage. Now most of
      girls, I hope don't have Logan's problem, but" the
      assembled group
      laughed. (Logan muttered, "Isn't funny") "You still
      have to be aware
      of your own particular deficiencies. If I could have a female
      volunteer please."

      Jubilee and Marie almost fell off their chairs, in their rush to
      tussle with the half naked Scott Summers. "Back off Jubes, his
      mine," "Not a hope, country girl"

      Before they got as far as the floor, they became entangled and
      started hissing and screaming, throwing wild slaps and punches at
      each other. Scott rushed over to separate them, as did Jean, but more
      to separate them from Scott, (the foul temptresses being her
      overriding thought.)

      Scott grabbed Marie as Jean grabbed Jubilee, both of whom had a firm
      grasp of the other's hair. Seeing that she was held in
      Scott's grasp,
      Marie couldn't help but stick out her tongue at Jubilee who
      bemoaning getting pulled away by the wrong half of the Summers couple.

      Scott dropped Marie to her feet and looked at the rest of the
      audience. "The two girls have illustrated my point perfectly.
      hair especially ponytails are easy to grab so wear your hair tight,
      people." Bobby nodded in agreement, thinking seriously about
      a buzz cut that very night.

      Scott looked at the warring girls, "I think maybe we should take
      break for a while and I know I certainly could do with the
      break," he
      said as he wiped sweat from his chest, causing many female hearts to
      flutter. "Logan, you okay with a break?"

      Logan who was scratching at his new bald patch nodded, happy to skulk
      away to try a brush over or some other technique for hiding lost
      hair. He hoped his hair was covered in his super healing contract or

      "Okay so, dismissed," Scott stood in the centre of the hall
      watched as the assembled crowd left. A couple of the guys came up and
      said they wanted to enter the class and a couple of the girls came up
      for no other reason then to get close. Scott dealt with them all and
      then stood alone, the sun shining off his teeth and his sweat and
      proclaimed that life was good. He gathered his stuff and headed back
      to his room to change into his regular attire.

      Jean came in to warn him about the dangers of not so innocent young
      girls. A few minutes later, she left not knowing why she had gone to
      him in the first place, a quick stint of him nibbling on her ear and
      she totally lost the run of herself.

      Scott emerged from his room and looked about, wondering where he
      would be needed next and remembered the girl's request for a lift
      into town. Though he knew Jean would have a few words to say, he knew
      that her ears could soon be nibbled into forgiving him. Handy that.
      He smiled, and the sun smiled with him.

      The trip into town was uneventful, with the two girls sitting in the
      back giggling as Scott hummed the tune to some concerto by some
      Austrian composer or another. He was always getting those Austrian
      ones mixed up.

      Scott waited in the car as the two went to the shop to get it is
      whatever they were buying for the party. He did get out once, to help
      an old lady across the street (what a nice young man, and so
      handsome), but other then that he stayed put, humming happily to

      The girls returned carrying as many bags as they could manage between
      them. Scott knew better then to ask, getting the feeling that later
      on he would probably have to put on his stern face and admonish them
      for whatever it was they had bought. He did hate having to give out
      to the girls but Jean insisted that the academy dynamic worked better
      if she was perceived as the big sister and Scott as the stern
      taskmaster. He wasn't too sure if there was any truth behind what
      was saying but he played the part anyway.

      During the drive back, Scott entertained the two girls by singing
      perfect renditions of some grunge numbers. Jubilee said that grunge
      was so nineties but that Mr. Summers gave it a house edge that
      brought it right into the naughties. Scott wasn't too sure about
      at all.

      Upon returning to the academy, the girls disappeared with their goods
      and the place seemed quiet. Scott parked the car and walked the
      grounds for a while, enjoying the sunshine. He came across Bobby
      studying under some trees.

      "Hi, Mr. Summers." Bobby looked up.

      "Bobby. How's it going?" Scott looked down, shading the
      younger man
      from the sun.

      "You wouldn't happy to know any Spanish by any chance, would
      Bobby inquired, at a loss with the assignment he had.

      "As a matter of fact Bobby, I have a little smattering." The
      on the tree parted to allow the sun at his smile.

      "Oh yeah. How's that?"

      "I was part of a summer exchange back in school. Spent a summer
      Madrid. Picked up a few words, here and there."

      Scott then proceeded to help Bobby conjugate some verbs and other
      semi interesting language tasks. By the end, Bobby felt he had
      learned more in that little session then he had in a month's
      worth of
      Hank's classes.

      "Thanks Mr Summers."

      "Not a problem, Bobby, not a problem." Scott replied. Cue the

      The rest of the day passed without notable incident, but the night
      was destined to be newsworthy, as there was going to be a party held
      for no apparent reason other then the fact they hadn't had a
      recently. Everyone from the youngest up was invited and it was semi
      formal which was enough of an excuse for all the girls to get glammed
      up and for all the guys to try and look like a certain Mr. Bond.

      In spite of himself, Scott always got kind of nervous at these kinds
      of things. He guessed it reminded him of when his powers first
      manifested themselves. Never been able to wear a tie comfortably
      since. Jean on the other hand looked sensational. She emerged from
      the bathroom; where she had spent a considerable part of the day
      preparing, causing Scott to literally have to go to the little
      room. The time spent had been worth it thought because she took his
      breath away. She simply smiled demurely and looked away, magnifying
      the effect.

      When they arrived at the ballroom, things were already in full swing.
      No one even considered why the academy had a ballroom but there you
      go, the place had everything else so why not a room that was
      convenient for having balls in. Anyway, things were in full swing,
      Logan was slow dancing awkwardly with Marie, Hank was swinging Ororo
      around the place with some high-energy manoeuvres. Kitty and Bobby
      had a dance within a dance going where in she'd slap him for
      to cop a feel during the actual dance, storm off, he'd sweet talk
      her, she'd come back, they'd dance again, and he'd try to
      cop a feel
      again. A truly annoyed Jubilee was trying to show St John how to
      dance but she'd keep catching him looking at her cleavage instead
      her feet.

      "The gangs all here," Scott commented. "Want to dance,

      "To be honest Scott, this dress is so tight, I can hardly walk.
      going go back later to get changed into something for shaking my
      booty, but for the time being, I'm just going to sit and appear
      angelic." She replied, visible shifting to remove a wrinkle from
      line of the long gown.

      The two of them went to the faculty table where Professor Xavier sat,
      watching the festivities with a small grin on his face.

      "Scott, Jean, you're looking suitably dashing and

      Scott blushed slightly while Jean just smiled back. They sat down
      next to him and watched all the various dancers trying to appear
      graceful. Logan eventually strolled over, appearing slightly comical
      in the tux.

      "Well if it isn't the wall flowers," he laughed.

      "I think that one of the faculty being embarrassing on the dance
      floor is more then enough" Scott replied, the disco ball
      all available light onto his teeth.

      "So you sayin' my dancing don't cut it." The anger

      "I was talking about Hank," Scott said pointing past Logan.

      Logan looked around to see Hank basically manhandling Ororo who
      looked kind of frightened at the way she was being thrown around the

      "Someone's got to have a camera." Logan laughed, "We
      can't let Hank
      live this one down."

      The other three just shook their heads as Logan joined them and they
      all laughed as Ororo was swung through manoeuvres that would involve
      more G-Forces then most fighter pilots have to endure.

      Over in the corner, the girls had huddled to comment on the
      proceedings. "God my hand hurts," Kitty complained.

      "What's wrong with it?" Jubilee asked.

      "I'm worn out from slapping Bobby"

      As if on cue, Bobby could be heard laughing from the opposite side of
      the hall.

      "You and Logan looked very cute, might I just add" Kitty

      Marie blushed slightly. "He danced with me out of charity, all
      boys are scared they might accidentally touch something."

      "Bobby would be delighted if he could accidentally touch
      Kitty commented ruefully.

      "It could be worse, St John might be in danger of drooling down
      chest." Jubilee added.

      "Ohhh gross" the other two said in unison.

      "Can you believe Mr. Summers?" Jubilee continued.

      "Oh my god, he is so hot." Marie concurred.

      "And the wench has got him pinned to the seat." Kitty noted.

      In one of those moments of divine beauty, the three girls stared at
      Jean just as Jean was staring at them. Nothing was said but invisible
      threats were made. "Look at my man and die."

      "Look at those tramps." Jean said out loud.

      Logan, Scott and Xavier turned to look at her in unison. Realising
      she had spoke out loud, she kept looking away and continued,
      must be getting cramps, surely." She looked at the three finally.

      "Sure, honey" Scott said, using his teeth to both blind her
      comfort her.

      The dancing continued for another while but finally it came the time
      to eat. Everyone settled, especially Ororo who was not leaving her
      seat for the night. All the students sat at various tables depending
      on their age group and the faculty sat by themselves.

      Xavier made a speech; everyone applauded and then got to stuck into
      the food. After eating, discussions broke out between various people
      around the place, with most people at the faculty table listening to
      Scott tell his infamous story of the fishing trip. Logan zoned out,
      knowing full well the ending of the story and how bad the joke was.
      He leaned back in the chair, letting the food settle. He was looking
      forward for the blank look on people's faces once Scott finished.
      was about time he was brought down a peg or two, having been
      strutting too much recently for his liking. Logan gave the story his
      full attention as Scott built to the finale.

      Scott finished, and people just exploded into laughter, Logan and
      Scott being the only two not laughing, Scott, because he told the
      joke and Logan who thought it was crap. Ororo however must have
      disagreed, as she was inconsolable. Everyone heard the slight rip as
      Jean's dress tore from her laughter. Even Professor Xavier was in
      danger of toppling out of his chair.

      Logan stood up, and shouted, "What is wrong with you people? That
      utter crap."

      Everyone stopped laughing and looked at Logan in shock.

      Ororo admonished Logan "What is wrong with you, Logan, you cannot
      find the humour in that?"

      "Are you kidding me? I've met funnier dead people then
      him." He said
      as he pointed at Scott.

      "It's alright, Logan, not every one has my sense of
      humour." Scott
      said soothingly.

      Something clicked inside Logan. "Not every one has my sense of

      "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm going to kill you" Logan shouted
      as he leapt
      clean across the table to get at Scott.

      The End.
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