A Late Night Talk
Summary: Jean reminisces about her relationship with Scott while
doling out romantic advice to a student.
Rating: PG. A few references to relationships. No dirty words, no
sex, no drugs, no rock `n' roll. Just two women talking about love.
Characters: Jean and a student of my creation. Scott appears at the
Disclaimer: Jean and Scott, the X-men universe, the arboretum, and
everything associated with X-men do not belong to me. I just play
with them sometimes, but always give them back in good condition. I
am doing this fic merely for fun, and because my mind got too active
today while I was raking leaves. I am making no money from this (or
anything else for that matter, so I have nothing to give). In other
words, no reason to sue, hint hint.
Archive: Please ask first. I will likely say yes but I like to keep
track of where my stuff is going.
Feedback: Of course I would like it. But I'm not going to threaten to
stop writing if you don't provide it. I will just send Cyclops after
you to blast you through a door or two....On second thought, I think
I'll keep him here with me. I would have more fun that way. Feedback
can be sent to sl_chester@...
or if you would prefer instant
messaging, Khylea C at AOL IM, or 9936242 at ICQ.
Author's note: Yeah, I know. This isn't how Jean and Scott fell in
love. I made up a back story to suit my story. Please don't flame me
telling me that I'm not following comic book or movie canon
correctly. I know I'm not. Neither of those fit what I wanted to say.
Many thanks to Jocelyn and Rachyl for the beta assistance. Okay,
enough of the boring stuff. On to the story:
Jean found her late, after everyone else had gone to bed,
sitting in the arboretum, crying as if her world had
ended. "Kathryne, what is it?" She asked, sitting down next to the
girl and placing an arm around her shoulders.
Kathryne looked away, wiping tears from her eyes, too
embarrassed to meet the eyes of her teacher. "It's nothing, Miss
Grey. I just want to be alone."
"This doesn't have anything to do with Isaac, does it?"
Kathryne started and looked briefly at Jean. She opened her mouth as
if to say something, but her bottom lip trembled, and the words
wouldn't come. So instead she nodded. She pulled closer to Jean, and
for several minutes she said nothing, instead crying lightly into
"I didn't know anyone noticed. Is it that obvious?"
Jean smiled. "Only to those who care about you...and of
course telepaths." She said with a wry smile.
Kathryne started. "You haven't been reading my thoughts, have
you?" The thought filled her with terror. Few of her thoughts about
Isaac had been pure in the least, and she liked and respected Jean;
didn't want her to think less of her because of her lustful thoughts
"No. You know I would never read someone's mind against their
will. But when people's thoughts are strong enough, they project
them, and there are times I can't shut them out even if I want to."
Kathryne nodded. "So what have I been projecting?"
"Not much. Just that you like him and are unsure what you
should do about it." Kathryne sighed in relief. Jean only knew the
most superficial things about her and Isaac. Thank God. "You still
haven't answered my question though. Why were you crying?"
"You won't tell anyone?"
"Hey, I'm a doctor. My patients have complete privacy
protection. I took an oath, remember?" She said with a smile.
Kathryne shook her head. "I'm not a patient, Miss Grey."
"You are to me. Helping to mend a broken heart is no
different than setting a broken bone or suturing a wound."
"Well, I... I guess I more than like him, but I don't think
he feels the same way."
"How much more? Do you love him?"
"I think so. I don't know. I've never been in love before, so
I don't really know what I should be feeling."
"What are you feeling?"
"I like being with him, we have fun together. He makes me
laugh. I don't know really."
"Well, I don't know Kathryne, but that doesn't really sound
like love. That sounds like you're just friends."
"That's what I thought too, but how do I know when it's love?"
Jean sighed. "I wish I could tell you for sure. Philosophers
have been trying to answer that question almost as long as `What's
the meaning of life?' and haven't come up with an answer to either."
"You love Mr. Summers, don't you?"
"Yes. Very much."
"How did you know you loved him?"
Jean shook her head with a slight smile. "It wasn't easy. We
were friends for years before anything ever came of it."
"But something did."
Jean rubbed her temples. Though the love she shared with
Scott was the best thing that had ever happened to her, the memory of
how she had discovered it was anything but pleasant. "Well, he was
nearly killed on a mission. He was beaten by an angry mob when his
cover was blown..."
"Wow. He never mentions it."
"He doesn't like to think about it any more than I do. We all
like to think that we are safe here, and I believe we are, but the
outside world isn't too willing to accept us yet. They would still
rather not deal with us."
"I'm sorry. I interrupted."
"That's okay Kathryne. Anyway, for several days, he was that
close-" Jean held up her thumb and index finger less than a half inch
apart "-to dying. I didn't have much to do but monitor his
condition. Gave me a lot of time to think." She took a deep breath,
and had to smile at the look on Kathryne's face. Her eyes were wide
open, enraptured with the story. "It got me to thinking about how
empty my life would be without him, how much I would miss his laugh,
his smile, the way he would hold my hand when we walked together."
"But how did you know that it was love, that you wouldn't
just be missing a good friend?"
"Because I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my
life with him. You don't want to spend the rest of your life with a
friend, no matter how good a friend they are."
"So when he woke up, you told him how you felt?"
"No. I didn't think he felt the same way." *Of course, that's
not the only reason, Jean.* She thought to herself. *It was also
because he avoided you for months after that. He was embarrassed that
you had seen him weakened, remember?*
"Why didn't you just read his mind and find out?"
"You didn't want me reading your mind. What makes you think
Scott would have wanted me reading his?"
Kathryne blushed and looked away. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Scott is a very private man. He hates the thought of someone
being able to pry his thoughts and feelings out. I would never do
that without his consent."
"But I thought you two had some kind of psychic link or
"Yes we do, but it was done with his approval. I asked him
for his permission before initiating it."
"Oh. I wish I had something like that. That would be so nice
to feel someone else's love all the time like that."
Jean smiled. If only Kathryne knew. While she certainly
enjoyed feeling the love through their link, the sensations like a
warm blanket wrapped around her on a cold night, the anger, the
hatred, were anything but pleasant. Though she knew they weren't
directed at her, they weren't pleasant and she wouldn't wish them on
someone else. But that was part of the link, as much as the love, the
happiness were, and she had chosen to not shut them out.
Despite what he showed to the world, and even to her most of
the time, Scott could have a violent temper. He never let anyone see
it, considering it his responsibility to protect the students from
all forms of danger, even himself, but Jean had often found him in
the gym late at night when a mission had gone wrong, beating the crap
out of one of the punching bags. The anger particularly scared her
because of the calm exterior he projected; she always worried that
because he didn't express his anger, it would build and build until
he finally exploded.
She had to laugh when people said that because of his
personality, Logan was far more violent than Scott was. She wasn't so
sure they were right. It was just that Logan expressed his anger,
Scott controlled his. But they were more alike than either would ever
"Yes, it can be, Kathryne, but at times it isn't. The link
doesn't just show positive feelings, remember. And he isn't always
thinking about how much he loves me, you know."
"Yes, but don't you...." She stopped and blushed, suddenly
realizing she was becoming more personal than was appropriate. "I'm
sorry, Miss Grey. It's none of my business to ask about your
relationship with Mr. Summers."
"It's all right, Kathryne. You know we're always here for
you, all of us, even Logan, though I wouldn't recommend asking him
for advice on relationships." she said with a wry smile.
Kathryne laughed. "I won't."
Jean nodded. "So you don't think Isaac cares about you the
way you do about him?" she asked, redirecting the conversation back
"No. I don't. Anytime I happen to over hear him talking to
any of his friends, he's always making jokes, calling me `clingy' and
"Don't go by that, Kathryne. Boys at that age brag to their
friends. You need to get him alone to find out what he really feels."
"I have. I was in the library yesterday working on my
homework, and he came in and sat at another table. I was there
probably close to an hour, and he never said anything."
"Maybe he doesn't know how to say how he feels about you
"Or he doesn't have those feelings."
"That's possible, but you'll never know unless you tell him."
"Yeah, but...I just...I mean, I can't imagine he would."
"I never thought Scott would about me either. Some guys it
just takes longer. You can't give up hope."
"Well, yeah, but..." her voice trailed off, and Jean could
see a blush creeping up in her cheeks.
"But what, Kathryne?" Jean urged.
"Well, Mr. Summers would have to be blind to not fall in love
with you. You're so beautiful. I mean, look at me. I have green skin
and red eyes and silver hair."
"So? You think loving someone is just about looks?"
Jean stroked Kathryne's hair sadly. "Oh Kathryne, if you
believe that, you're so wrong."
"No, I'm not. I've heard the way Mr. Summers talks to you. He
always tells you how beautiful you are."
"Yes, but that's not why he loves me. I had the same
insecurities when we first fell in love. I was always afraid that he
only loved me for my looks. I was always careful to look my best
around him. I got out of bed early just so I could do my hair and
makeup before he woke. For months I did this, afraid to let him see
me with mussed up hair and no mascara."
"You don't anymore?"
"No. I would rather spend that extra time in the morning in
bed next to him. He's very open in the morning. We have a lot of good
talks. And we do...other things." She added with a wicked smile,
drawing a knowing grin from Kathryne.
"So what changed?"
"One day we went on a picnic down by the lake. I slipped on
some wet leaves and slid down into the water. By the time he was able
to pull me out, I was covered in mud and leaves, drenched, my mascara
running down my face." She smiled at the memory. "I pulled away, I
didn't want him to see me like that. I knew I looked awful."
Jean laughed. "I ran back toward the mansion, trying to get
away from him. But he caught me a few hundred feet from the lake. I
tried to keep him from seeing me, I pulled away as much as I could,
but he pulled me toward him and looked me straight in the eye and
laughed at how I looked. I turned my head away and told him to quit
looking at me that I didn't want him to see me like this."
"What did he do?"
"He got a really sad look on his face, and held my head in
his hands. He pushed the muddy hair out of my eyes and said `Oh
Jeannie, I don't care if you're covered in mud, you're still
beautiful to me.' "
"Oh, that's so sweet."
"I thought so. I said `Scott, you mean it doesn't matter to
you what I look like?', and he said, `No, it doesn't Jean. You're
still just as beautiful to me even if you're covered in mud.' It was
a long conversation, but basically, he just convinced me that he
loved me for who I was, not what I looked like."
"And you feel the same way about him?"
"Yes. I don't deny that he's very handsome. I mean, any girl
can't help but see that. And he has a wonderful smile, and..." she
lowered her voice conspiratorially, and grinned a wicked
smile, "...he does look hot in jeans." Kathryne laughed. "But that's
not why I love him. I love him because he's gentle and kind and
responsible and he always makes me feel special, not because of how
he looks in jeans."
"But, Miss Grey, I just look so weird. How could Isaac love
someone who looks so weird?"
Jean pulled her closer, looking deep into her eyes. "Stop it
Kathryne. You don't look weird. And even if you did, what does it
matter? If Isaac only loves you for what you look like, is that
really what you want in a boyfriend?"
"Well, no, I guess not."
"You're a wonderfully funny person, you care deeply about
others, you're always willing to help someone who needs help. There's
plenty about you to love, Kathryne. That's what you want him to love
you for, not what you look like on the outside."
Kathryne nodded. It seemed that Jean's words were finally
getting through to her.
"I've just gotten so tired of waiting for him to tell me how
he feels, though. I mean, we've known each other for two years, how
much longer do I have to wait?"
"What makes you think he has to make the first move?"
"Well, I...ah...I...just...isn't that how it's supposed to
Jean laughed. "This is the 21st Century, Kathryne. There's
nothing wrong with a girl making the first move." She smiled at a
memory. "If I'd waited for Scott to make the first move, I'd still be
Kathryne was shocked. "You mean, you told him first?"
"But, weren't you scared? What did you say?"
"Yes, I was scared. No one wants to be rejected."
"So, I mean, how did you say it?"
Jean nearly laughed at that. She had always prided herself on
being smooth and in control of herself, but at times, she acted
stupid around Scott.
She had found him one day sitting by the lake, his knees
pulled up tight to his chest, his arms hugging his legs, pulling
himself as small as he could. He had reminded her of a lost little
boy, so scared and vulnerable that she felt an instant closeness to
him. She had sat next to him and pulled him closer to her. Normally,
he would have pulled away, not wanting her to see his weakness, but
for some reason, felt the need for her touch at the moment.
When he had risen to his feet, she had asked him why he was
leaving, and he had responded that he didn't want to burden her with
his problems. She had said that it didn't matter, that's what friends
are for, but he had stiffened his back and walked away, and hadn't
stopped till Jean shouted out her undying love to him.
"It wasn't very romantic. We had been talking by the lake one
day, and when he walked away, I just had this really weird feeling
that if I didn't tell him then, I never would be able to again."
"I was scared, Kathryne, believe it or not. I was afraid of
being rejected, just like you are, and didn't know if I would have
the courage to say it any other time."
"But..." Kathryne couldn't believe the beautiful, confident,
self-assured Jean Grey she had known for the last 2 years could ever
be afraid, could ever be insecure, could ever doubt that Scott would
love her. "...so you did?"
"Yes. As he was walking away, I yelled at him `Scott, don't
leave. I love you.'"
Kathryne laughed. "I'm sure that got his attention."
Jean smiled. "It did at that."
"So then did he propose his undying love to you too?"
"I wish. No, it took a long time before he told me he loved
"But...I mean....what made you decide to tell him? I mean,
how could you tell that he loved you?"
"I didn't know for sure, but he had done certain things that
made me think he did."
"Like what?" Jean nodded internally. This was where Kathryne
had really wanted the conversation to go all along, but was too
bashful to direct it that way.
"He would pick wildflowers for me, or hold the door, or serve
me first at dinner. Nothing big, just little things that told me I
was important to him. Does Isaac do things like that for you?"
"Yeah. But are you sure that means love?"
"No. It may just be that he considers you a friend, and is
trying to be polite. You'll never know until you take a chance."
"But what if he doesn't feel the same way?"
"What if he does?" Jean countered. "Would you rather go
through your whole life wondering if he loved you?" Kathryne seemed
uncertain. "You've seen how happy Scott and I are." Kathryne
nodded. "What if I had never taken the chance on telling him how I
felt? We would never have been able to share that happiness."
"But what if I get hurt?"
"That's always a possibility in any relationship. But isn't
the chance at love worth the risk of getting hurt? If I'd known how
happy I would be with Scott, I would have risked getting hurt
hundreds of times to find that love. True love, when you find it, is
the best thing in the world...and you know how much I like chocolate!"
The two women shared a laugh. "Just tell him, Kathryne. Don't
go through life wondering."
Kathryne nodded, rising to her feet. "Thank you, Miss Grey,
"You're welcome. Let me know how it goes okay? Although if it
goes as well as I'm thinking it will, you won't need to tell me, I'll
be able to see the glow in your eyes."
"I hope so." With a last smile, she turned and headed for bed.
Jean returned to her bedroom surprised to see Scott still
awake, waiting for her.
"Jean? Where have you been? It's almost midnight."
"Kathryne needed some romantic counseling."
"Oh? In what way?"
"She's in love with Isaac but isn't convinced he feels the
same way about her."
"Oh." He paused, sensing the thoughts in her mind, the
remembrances of their early days. "You told her about us didn't you?"
She slipped into bed next to him, stroking a hand down his
chest. "Yes, but just about the first time I told you I loved you.
Don't worry, I didn't tell her any of the good stuff. I'll let her
find that out herself when she gets a little older."
Scott smiled, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her
cheek, her neck, her shoulders, working downward as he heard her
sigh. She melted into his touch, smiling at his attentions, shivering
in anticipation. Scott was really in the mood for the "good stuff"