Author: Elizabeth Wilde
Title: Night: Decisions
Series: Phases: Time of Day
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks,
Disclaimer: I don�t own the X-Men or �Hidden Sun� by
'Ship: none, hints of Logan/Rogue
Summary: Logan considers returning to the school and
what it could mean.
Feedback: to wilde_moon@...
Notes: The graphic for this story can be found at
Shivering madly in the dark
Like an animal abandoned in the car park
And she held me and then she showed me
The beauty of the human heart.
I thought it would feel a lot better being on my own
again. Alone is my natural state. I don't need
anybody. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.
I go to a different town and a different bar every
night and I fight and I maim and I drink enough to
make any normal man pass out a few times over and none
of it means a damn thing.
The whole time I'm tearing up whatever loser is dumb
enough to get in my way, I'm thinking about that time
I didn't, that time when some little girl with big
brown eyes that made her look like a deer caught in
the headlights convinced me without a word to let a
punk brawler and some ignorant old barkeep live just a
little while longer, to walk away. I'm Wolverine. I
don't walk away from fights. But I did for her,
because I didn't want some innocent little kid seeing
what I do to people.
Problem is, I did it to her too. Maybe I never meant
to, but I did it. I don't just mean shoving my claws
through her chest, either, even thought I can still
see the shock on her face when I close my eyes, feel
the gentle pressure of those deadly fingers on my
cheek. I mean the way I left. She had some damn kind
of crush on me and it scared me. The hero worship in
her eyes when she looked at me scared me too. I
didn't deserve any of it, not from a nice girl like
It was easier to leer at Jean. She's all grown up.
She can take care of herself. Besides, with her I
can't care too much because I can't get close enough.
She's with Scott and she always will be unless
something happens to one of them. They love each
other, and that isn't going to change. But flirting
with Jean was easy.
Now here I am driving down the road in the middle of
nowhere thinking about the kid. Well, not in the
middle of nowhere, either. For the past five years,
I've been traveling in a slowly shrinking circle
that's taking me straight back to Westchester if I
don't do something about it. I should stop and really
think about this, but I've spent five years trying not
to think, and making my brain do much more than react
is more effort than I'm up to.
I'm not sure how I can go back after five years. I
can't even begin to think what might have changed.
Hell, maybe Scott's got a personality now. Maybe
Jean'll be ready to throw herself into my arms and
ride off into the sunset. Maybe Marie won't be a kid
Catch Your Breath [my index site] ~ http://www.catchyourbreath.net
"We've always been ready for female superheroes because women want to be them and men want to do them." -Famke Janssen
"Rogue, please. I like you. Don't make me stab you to death with a plastic hanger." ~from Dyce's fic 'The Godless Among Them'
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