915FIC: Ultraviolet (Spectrum 1) (PG; Logan/Jean; Angst)
- Sep 28, 2000Date Finished: 28 September 2000
Title: Ultraviolet (Spectrum 1)
Author: Eiluned (eiluned@...)
Archive: My site only for now. Completed series will be sent to all
archives. No other archiving or linking without permission, please.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Marvel. I just do
twisted things with them.
Categories: Angst, Drama, Romance
Series: Logan loses his sanity and Jean has to guide him back.
Episode: A flood of memories.
Series warnings: Dark weirdness. WolvieTorture.
Series notes: This story is set in the same universe as my unfinished
Divine Comedy series. You don't have to have read that to understand
this, though. Just know that Scott is dead, everyone has just
recently come to terms with it and Logan and Jean are in a rather
tenuous relationship. This is the first of nine parts in the Spectrum
Author's notes: This just sort of slapped me out of the blue at work
today. One minute I'm selling kilts, the next I'm scribbling away. I
just love how the Muses work. ;P Now, this isn't really a song fic.
The lyrics really spoke to me and they actually gave me the idea for
the story. However, the plot isn't based on the song and no
characters will sing it. ::grin::
Big thanks to my beta Darry, tamer of wild commas and savage sentence
/ / is memories (italics)
' ' is thoughts
* * is telepathy (ah, the joys of ASCII)
"I remember when we could sleep on stones
Now we lie together
In whispers and moans
When I was all messed up
And I heard opera in my head
Your love was a light bulb
Hanging over my bead." U2, 'Ultraviolet' (from 'Achtung Baby')
/I'm sitting in a chair./
/red lights, blue lights, yellow lights/
Jean grabbed her temples and tipped forward, pressing her face into
Everyone else in the room stared at each other for a second in
silence. Logan shot across the bed about the time that Storm jumped
out of her chair. "Jean! Jean, what's the matter?" she asked, gently
touching Jean's shoulder.
Logan turned to Rogue, barely concealing his panic. "Go get the
professor," he ordered, and Rogue practically leapt off of the bed.
"Jean? Jean, can you hear me?" Ororo shook Jean carefully, "Jean,
/A hospital chair; I'm sitting in a hospital chair. Blue light.../
/Oh, my god, it's Logan... he's so still, just staring straight up.../
Logan's voice suddenly pierced through the fog and Jean sat straight
up, eyes wild. She lashed out, but Logan caught her fists and pulled
her close to him, whispering quietly to her. She gradually calmed
down and broke into quiet sobs, her face buried in his shirt. Ororo
gently smoothed Jean's hair back from her face. "Are you all right?"
she asked quietly.
Jean sat up and wiped her face. "I don't know..."
"I got the professor..." Rogue said hesitantly from the door.
The rush of relief when Professor Xavier rolled into the room was
almost tangible. He stopped in front of Jean and took her hands.
"Jean, what happened?" he asked softly, his eyes going cloudy as they
always did when he probed into someone's mind.
/fear... terror... pain, so much pain.../
Charles jerked back suddenly, his eyes wide. He looked from Jean to
Logan and back again. After a long moment of silence, Logan was a
ball of impatience. "Well?" he barked, "What the hell was that?"
Professor Xavier gave him an infinitely patient look.. "I think that
Jean picked up on some of your memories, Logan" he explained. "We
know that you two have a psychic connection and it's surprisingly
strong. I didn't think Jean's abilities had developed enough to
detect memories that are so deeply repressed. I can barely sense
those memories myself."
"What does that mean?" Jean asked, rubbing her temples.
Charles sighed, rubbing his own forehead. "I'm not sure, Jean."
She nodded slowly and wiped her face again. Charles smiled at her.
"You look like you need some rest. Why don't I make you some tea?"
"That sounds good," she replied quietly. She still hadn't completely
regained her clam. Fear still hummed through her like a live wire,
leaving a metallic tang in her mouth.
She stood slowly, and when Logan reached out to her, she just shook
her head. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. Just give me a little while,"
she said, and he nodded, clearly not happy.
Jean put her elbows on the counter and rested her head in her hands,
watching the professor go about making tea. She hadn't felt this much
undirected anxiety since before she had come to the school. Her heart
was still pounding and her skin prickled with dread. The teakettle's
whistle nearly sent her off of her stool.
Charles just smiled at her in his calm way and poured the boiling
water into a mug. "That's not chamomile, is it?" she asked.
He shook his head and brought the mug to her. "Of course not. I know
you hate chamomile. That's one of the perks of being psychic. It's
She grinned at him. "You sound silly saying that."
He feigned ignorance. "Saying what?"
"Sleepytime," she finished the old joke and they both laughed softly.
"When did that joke start?" Charles asked, folding his hands in his
"Right after you found me. I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing
everyone else's thoughts. You made me tea and taught me how to shield
my mind," she said, smiling to herself.
The smile slowly disappeared and she idly swirled the teabag around in
the mug, staring into the darkening water. She could feel the
professor staring at her, but she wanted to avoid talking for a while.
She needed some more time to work her emotions out, to examine each of
them and discover its root.
"What did you see, Jean?" Charles finally asked when she tossed the
teabag in the garbage.
She squeezed an inordinately large amount of honey into her tea and
stirred it in. "I don't know if I can describe it. Um..." she
paused, flustered by the memories. "I was... sitting in a chair. It
was one of those chairs you see in hospital rooms, like the ones we
have in the sick bay. And the lights... they kept changing colors,
red to blue to yellow. And then there was just pain. Horrible,
horrible pain. I felt like I couldn't stand it anymore. I just
wanted to die to make the pain stop. And then I could feel someone
drawing on my skin, but I couldn't see anything. Everything flashed
and then water was closing over me and I thought I would drown and I
was so afraid, Professor." she started to cry again. "And then I was
back in the hospital chair and the light was blue and I could see
Logan lying there, staring at the ceiling. He was so still, as if he
She wiped the tears away again and blew over the surface of her tea,
taking a sip. "I've never felt anything like that before," she
whispered. "I've never been so afraid. And that's what Logan
Charles touched her arm, giving her comfort. "I think you should get
some sleep. I'll speak with Logan. Perhaps he has had some new
Rogue's piercing scream interrupted him mid-sentence. They looked at
each other for a second. "Something's wrong with Logan," she said and
ran out of the kitchen, her full mug shattering on the tile.
End of Ultraviolet
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