6216FIC: Pursuit of Happiness (Whats Past is Prologue 3/18)
- Jul 20, 2005Pursuit of Happiness (Whats Past is Prologue 3/18)
Half-awake, I reached for Adam, and found I was alone
in bed. That woke me up the rest of the way. A
glance at the nightstand showed his glasses werent
there, so I knew he hadnt just gone to the bathroom.
I found him at the dining table, laptop in front of
him, writing. He didnt hear me come in, I guess. I
watched him for a minute. Hair all tousled, my
bathrobe wrapped around him, fingers moving quickly on
the keyboard. I came up behind and put my arms
around him, bending down to kiss him on the neck.
Hi, I said.
Hi, back. He turned in his chair to face me, pulling
me down onto his lap. We kissed, long and slow. He
tasted like coffee. I noticed the half-filled mug, a
Frontrunners one. I took him by the lapels of my robe
and he looked a little sheepish. I got cold, he
No problem. Mi casa es su casa. Mi bathrobo es?
Okay, so I dont speak Spanish, which is pretty
disgusting considering Ive lived all my life in
California. He laughed. Use my bathrobe. Use my
coffeemaker. I want you to feel at home here. Feel
free to use my body, too. I kissed him, tongue
meeting his again, opening the robe and sliding my
arms in and around him. He pulled back from the kiss.
His hands were stroking my thighs now, one sliding up
and teasing my balls a little. I was getting hard
from his touch, even more so as he looked down to
watch, the look on his face saying he liked what he
saw. I smiled at that and he looked up, meeting my
I picked up the coffee mug and took a sip. What have
you been working on? I asked. The NIH piece?
He shook his head. Ill work on that on the plane
going back. Im just taking some notes on Charles
Scott Summers wants me to write up some stuff. To
put in the program for the Memorial Service next
Is that why youre going to Westchester?
Part of it, anyway. Cyclops wants to meet about
that, I know, although I got the impression theres
something else he wants to talk about, too.
What do you think is up?
I dont know. He just sounded strange.
Well, hes in mourning, right?
Yeah, they all are. Its a huge loss. Charles
Xavier was... unique. I wish youd known him.
Me, too. Id like to meet the rest of them.
I hope you will some time. Anyway, Ill interview
Scott to get ideas for what to say about Charles, but
I thought Id start with jotting down what I know.
Mostly I was just keeping occupied until you got up.
He turned to the clock on the laptop, his hand
brushing across my leg again. You woke up early.
Yeah, well Im still on east coast time, really.
This is your chance to sleep in. Do you want to go
back to sleep?
I can nap after youre gone. I want this time to be
with you. I stood up, and took Adam by the hand,
pulling the robe off of him as I pulled him up. Come
back to bed.
My beds low to the ground. I like it that way. It
allows for some interesting possibilities. I was glad
that Adam seemed fully willing to try some of those
interesting possibilities out. Before long I had him
lying on his back, across the bed, feet on the floor.
I was on the floor, kneeling between his legs, hands
on his thighs. I could feel his legs trembling a bit.
I wasnt sure why, but I liked it. I started licking
all up and down his long hard dick, feeling his legs
shake, listening to the pleased sighs I was coaxing
from him. I love your cock, I said, in between
licks. And I meant it. I cant get enough of him
taste, sounds, all of it. Sucking him in, feeling him
filling my mouth, pushing his hips up to get more of
it into me. Greedy, eager, wanting he was making me
crazy. I was hard as a rock and dying to fuck him,
but not wanting to let his cock out of my mouth long
enough to do that. It was a dilemma, albeit a
I reached for a condom and a nearby tube of lube,
continuing to suck on the head of that beautiful cock
as I opened the wrapper and slipped the condom on me.
He tasted so good, and he was saying my name now, low
and longing, again and again, his fingers in my hair
while I played with him with my tongue. Squeezing
some lube onto my hand, I stroked myself as I spread
it on me. Oh Adam, I want to do everything with you,
and all at once. If Id been a gymnast instead of a
runner, I might have been able to manage it.
I held him by the ass, fingers probing. Please, he
was saying now, pushing my head down so Id suck more
of that beautiful cock in. As he filled up my mouth,
I slid a lubed-up finger into him, feeling him push
down to meet my hand.
After a while I took my mouth off of his dick, one
hand on that round ass, a finger still inside him.
Stroking from root up to cock head with the other
hand, I licked my way up his body now. I lingered at
the navel, salty/sweaty taste as I pushed my tongue
into that hole, then continued kissing and licking up
his belly and chest. I forced myself to move slowly
almost lazily - stroking Adams cock. His breathing
was speeding up. He was panting now. I sucked hard
on his right nipple, and pinched the left one, making
Adam groan in a way that went straight from my ears to
But was that sound pleasure or pain? Too hard? I
No, it feels good. Pinch hard. Both of them.
I did what he asked of me, no longer worried that my
enjoyment was his pain. Both hands on his nipples
now, I played with him like that, pinching and
twisting, until I couldnt stand it anymore. I want
to fuck you now, I told him. I have to fuck you
right now, I thought, pulling myself back from him and
up on my knees.
Adam nodded, eyes closed. I pulled his legs up over
my shoulders, then positioned myself right at that
tight hole. Leaning down I kissed him on the mouth,
pushing my tongue in while I pushed the head of my
cock into him. His eyes were opening now, with a kind
of vacant, spaced out, lusty look that made me want to
push in farther, but his body was tightening. He
grabbed onto my shoulders and squeezed as I entered
him. I pulled away from his mouth. Are you okay?
Yeah. Go all the way in now.
Oh yeah. I made myself go slowly, a bit at a time,
until I was in him all the way up to my balls. His
head fell back on the bed, mouth open and his eyes
closed again. I put one hand on Adams hip and the
other round that beautiful cock, feeling like I never
wanted to let go. Holding him like that I moved in
and out, slowly and rhythmically, timing myself to the
sighs coming out of him.
We were moving faster now, working together, harder
and faster. I needed both hands to hold him by the
hips, to steady us on the bed while I pushed into him
hard and strong. I watched him reaching for his own
cock as I let it go, rubbing it as forcefully as I was
fucking him. Oh God, Adam said. Its so good like
this. Push it in. Fuck me hard.
I did, ramming it into his hot, tight hole, over and
over again, loving how he gripped my cock with his
asshole and his own cock with his hand. The sudden
spurt of cum all over my belly, the way he said my
name while the sticky stuff spread on me, the way he
looked at me when he finally opened his eyes it all
made me fuck him harder, pounding him into the bed
again and again. I was talking now, but Im not sure
what I was saying. I love you came out in a whisper
just before I came. I hadnt meant to say it. I
wasnt sure he heard me. If he did, he didnt say
anything about it.
We lay down on the bed side by side afterwards. I
wish I didnt have to leave so early this time. He
pulled me closer as he said it, kissing my neck,
stroking my hair.
I wish you didnt, too. Still, I think its great
youre helping the X-Men. You know, that its not
dependent on your relationship with Jean-Paul.
Jean-Pauls how I met them, but I do feel like I have
an independent connection now. And I was involved in
mutant rights before Id ever met Jean-Paul.
Yes, of course. After a minute I asked him, Will
he be there?
Will who be where?
Jean-Paul. Will he be in Westchester when youre
Yeah. Hes there a lot lately. They want him to
join the X-Men full time.
I guess I shouldnt suggest you say hi to him for
me. Adam didnt answer. Do you think he will?
Join full time, I mean.
It sounds like he will. Were supposed to talk about
it when I see him. How it would work with Ezra and
Ezras there with Jean-Paul?
Yeah, hell come home with me later in the week,
after Im done in Westchester. He turned over then,
lying face down on the bed. I put one hand on his
ass, thinking about what it had felt like fucking him.
Theres something else I need to talk to Scott about
while Im there, he added. That guy from the
Washington Times you sicced on me.
Rick? He called you? Adam nodded. That was okay,
Yeah, fine. I didnt give him the information he
wanted, but he was nice enough, anyway.
Hes a good guy. I kissed him and added, Pretty
good in bed, too.
I had wondered.
You dont mind, do you?
No, of course not.
Youd like him, I think. The just-fucked glow on
him was irresistible. I pulled him on top of me and
he lay with his head on my chest. Hey, maybe we
could have a three-way sometime.
I shrugged. Sure, why not?
I havent... well, I havent done anything like that
for a long time.
Right. You and Jean-Paul were into that whole
He laughed. You say it like its some weird kink or
I guess it seems that way to me, a little. That was
more him than you, right?
No, I dont think so. Maybe at the start. Hed
wanted to earlier, but by the time we agreed to it, I
was fully on board. Or thought I was, until I slipped
up with you.
Im glad you slipped up. Arent you?
Adam sighed. No, not really. Im glad to be with
you. I wish wed met some other way.
I dont think monogamy is natural. Not for men,
He smiled. Lots of things that arent natural are
still worth doing.
Dont tell me you think gay sex is unnatural? Every
culture, every species
Jake! Of course I dont think that. Ive been out a
long time. I did manage to educate myself. He
smiled, and added, A little, anyway. Maybe not like
what you got at home, but enough. No, I was thinking
Yeah, as a species were not evolutionarily adapted
to it. Thats why so many of us are nearsighted. You
can see it when cultures get introduced to written
language. Suddenly, myopia abounds. And for people
like me, he added, reaching for his glasses, putting
them on, it adds to the problem. I know its because
I read so much that my eyes are getting worse when a
lot of peoples have stabilized by my age, but its
worth it to me. Id rather wear glasses all the time
and keep reading. Its one of my favorite unnatural
acts. I laughed at that. He continued, So, maybe
monogamy is unnatural, too, but it felt worth it to me
to go against nature when I was in a committed
And you never did it with anyone else all that time?
He shook his head. Never even thought about it?
Oh I thought about it plenty. Nothing wrong with
thinking, with looking, with imagining. Look, but
dont touch that was my motto. Thats what I
thought was going on with you and me at first.
Do you wish it had stayed like that? If wed never
met if you and I had never fucked you and
Jean-Paul might still be together.
You didnt break us up. We did that to ourselves.
He changed the subject. This guy Rick? A gay
reporter at the Washington Times. Can you imagine
working at a place like that?
Well, hes not out at work.
I didnt think he would be. Still, it must be hell
working there. I couldnt do it.
Have you always been out at work?
Yeah. Sports isnt an easy beat for queer reporters,
in general, but this is San Francisco. And Ive
pretty much always been out everywhere.
Good for you. I was 25 before I came out to my
Its different for me, being second generation and
Adam shook his head. That boggles my mind, you know.
I cant imagine growing up like that, with a gay
Adam laughed. Yeah, two even. I wonder whether
hell be gay or straight.
Do you care?
I dont know. Did your dad mind?
Ive always wondered that, if he would rather Id
been straight. He never let on, if he was
disappointed when I came out. Well, he wouldnt. I
mean, like you said, I was getting educated in queer
politics and queer theory all the time at home. Id
been taken to Pride parades since I was in diapers; I
was raised to be an activist. Yet, somehow I wonder
if he was a little taken aback when I was fifteen and
brought home my first boyfriend. If so, he covered it
Its natural to want your kids to have an easier
life. Its still hard to be gay sometimes. Look at
your friend Rick, hiding out at work. He thought
some more. With Ezra, I do wonder occasionally
whether hell be gay or straight. I wonder if hell
be a mutant, too. Id like to think I dont care
either way. I think Id have an easier time with him
coming out than coming into his powers, though.
I dont know. He sat up, seemed to think about it
for a minute. Maybe I want him to be more like me,
less like Jean-Paul? Breaking up has changed so much.
Hes such a great father to Ezra so fun, much more
creative than I am. A hell of a lot more patient.
When we were together, I thought all that was
wonderful. I admired it; I gloried in it. I still
think its great for Ezra that hes like that, but
maybe I feel a little in competition with him now,
too. Maybe I worry that Ezra will grow closer to him
and Ill get kind of cut out, you know? Particularly
if they have being a mutant in common and I dont.
He sat up. Sorry. I dont mean to dump this stuff
Dont apologize. I want to hear it. I think its
just adjustment stuff, though, you know? Youre still
trying to work out all the co-parenting issues and it
makes you feel insecure. Maybe youll feel better
after you talk to Jean-Paul about the X-Men job and
figure out how to handle it with Ezra. Ezra will
probably spend most of his time in DC with you and
Anjuli, wont he?
I dont know.
I thought back to what Adam had said before. Why do
you want to talk to Scott Summers about Rick?
Because Rick wanted to talk to me about Scott
Summers. Thats what hes working on, a story on
Scott. So I figured he should know.
I suppose hes getting a fair amount of press
attention now, since hes taking over the X-Men.
Yeah, but this is something different. I wish they
hadnt put in the press release that he was Charless
son. Thats what your Rick is looking into. He wants
to know if he really is.
Is he? Charles adopted him?
I dont think so. I dont know what the deal was
with Scott when he first came to Xaviers. No one
seems to. He doesnt talk about his childhood. Other
than that hes from a small town in Indiana, I know
nothing about him from before Charles took him in.
And Im pretty good at getting people to tell me
things about themselves.
Youre no slouch yourself. Anyway, he seems to have
no contact with any relatives. I always assumed he
ran away from home. I wouldnt think his parents
rights were ever terminated. I dont think Charles
adopted him. He wouldnt have been available for
adoption. He threw an arm across me and moved in
closer. We fit together so well. But they
definitely considered themselves father and son. Adam
shrugged. So, as far as Im concerned they were.
Hell, Ezra isnt legally Jean-Pauls son, but
Jean-Pauls every bit as much his father as I am.
Scott was definitely Charless son in every sense but
the legal one. And I can see how he wanted that
acknowledged when Charles died. Still, I dont think
it was a good idea to call attention to himself that
Adam shrugged. Everybodys got something to hide.
Youve been in this business long enough to know that.
And, like I said, he doesnt talk about anything that
happened before he came to live with Charles Xavier.
I wouldnt be surprised if Scott Summers has more to
hide than most. This Rick seemed pretty dogged. If I
were Scott, Id want someone to tell me what hes up
So youll tell him Ricks looking into his past?
Adam nodded. Jean-Paul isnt legally Ezras father?
I didnt know that.
He couldnt be. We adopted him in Texas. No way we
could do that as a couple. Wed hoped to do a second
parent adoption later, in Canada. Its pretty easy
there, at least in the past few years. But then there
was the war and we moved to DC, and Jean-Paul isnt a
citizen, so it wasnt clear how that affected
things... I dont know. The whole thing got legally
So if he has no rights to Ezra, you could just say
youre having sole custody, right? And thats it? He
just gets to see him when you say its okay?
He knows Id never do that. At least I hope he
does. Adam thought some more. Maybe I should just
say that to him, tell him plainly that Id never use
my legal advantage. That we broke up doesnt have
anything to do with being Ezras parents. Thats for
Your relationship with Jean-Paul was supposed to be
for life, too, right?
Adam sighed. Yeah. So maybe he doesnt trust that
Id keep my commitment to parenting with him, either.
I probably should reassure him. I hadnt thought of
that. Thanks for bringing it up. He looked at the
clock by the bed. I guess I should get dressed. He
sighed. But you go back to sleep. I can get a cab
to the airport.
Nah, I want to take you. I kissed Adam, pushing my
tongue in deep, hands in his hair.
Ill stay longer next time. I can get the Monday
off. Two weeks? Adam asked, right in my ear, hands
on my ass now.
Yeah, two weeks. Ill pick you up Friday night. It
feels like a long time away. I like having you
I like being around. Were good together.
How about if I come out to DC next weekend? Then we
dont have to wait so long.
Adam shook his head. It wont work. Ive got Ezra.
So what? Im good with kids.
Its just... different when Im with him. It
wouldnt be any fun for you. Really. No going back
to bed for a morning fuck, you know?
Im not an idiot, Adam. And I havent spent my whole
life picking up tricks in bars. I know something
about family life. Im not expecting it would be like
when were alone. I just want to see you, to spend
some time with you. And I want to meet Ezra. Im
your lover; when do I get to meet your son?
Jake. I dont know that... He didnt finish the
Im not your lover?
Its not a word weve used.
Well, what do you call this? We spend every weekend
together when youre not with Ezra. We have great
sex. We talk about our work, our lives. You call me
up every day. We have phone sex at least a couple
times a week while were apart. If were not lovers,
what are we?
The silence lengthened. I dont know, he said,
finally. After a while, he added, Im sorry. Maybe
this is just too soon.
What do you mean?
This isnt fair to you. I like you so much, but I
cant really offer you anything. I dont know what
Im doing with my life. Im still working things out
with Jean-Paul, you know?
Are you thinking of getting back together with him?
Adam didnt answer for a long time. I dont think
that would work. Too much has happened.
Well, thats honest. Id feel a lot better with I
dont want to anymore than too much has happened
but I guess me feeling better isnt what this is
Im sorry, Jake, he said again. After a while he
added, Do you still want me to come out week after
Yes. I said it emphatically. I wanted to say more,
but I didnt know what to say. The silence between us
Adam got out of bed. Im going to go take a shower,
okay? I think Id better head to the airport soon.
Mofic Website: www.angelfire.com/comics/mo
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