5493FIC: Light and Love, 1/1, NC-17, Charles/Erik, (pre-movies)
- Dec 7, 2003Title: Light and Love
Rating: NC-17, obviously.
Fandom: Many years pre-movies.
Summary: Charles has a dream, but everything isn't like it seems.
Disclaimer: Not my characters. They belong to Marvel/20th Century
Fox. No money made from this.
Archive: My own website,
http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/Index.html and list
archives. Others, please ask me first.
Feedback: Please? Send it to henrika15_@...
A/N: This story was my mom's idea, and it all started with a pic
drew, which can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/henrika_amanda/xaviermags12.jpg So if you
think this sucks, blame her, not me.
Another image I drew for this story is this one:
Charles Xavier was lying on his back, looking up at the blue, almost
cloudless sky from his blanket down by the sandy shore. It was a
completely calm day. The lake, some ten yards away, looked very much
like a smooth, blue velvety carpet.
Charles lay in the shadow of a large oak tree, since the sun and the
almost still air would be too much to handle otherwise. Instead of
watching the sky, Charles turned his head to look at Erik. For a
short moment it seemed like the other man had fallen asleep, but
that was not the case.
Erik was lying sideways with his eyes closed, but he wasn't more
asleep than Charles himself. Probably Erik himself would choose to
call it "resting", but Charles knew he wasn't sleepy.
When he had
that expression on his face it meant something else.
That was one good thing about being a telepath; no one could fool
you. Charles was always filled with love and compassion when he
watched his lover for 20 years. Erik was a very beautiful man,
although that wasn't the reason why Charles liked looking at him.
Everything, all his features, were so personal.
Now Erik was breathing heavily. A thin, shining layer of sweat
covered his slim, pale body. Obviously he was as hot as Charles was.
Charles smiled, and propped himself up on his elbow, and gently
brushed Erik's hair back from his sweat-slick forehead. Suddenly
other man opened his eyes. Erik's eyes were as blue as the clear
sky. His thick dark hair, pale blue eyes and rosy cheeks made him
look like a male version of Snow White. Well, maybe Erik wasn't
so "manly", but he was no queen, despite his orientation. He
slender, and didn't look very strong, but in his was the same
stubborn strength as in Charles himself.
"Are you asleep, darling?" Charles asked with a mischievous
Erik snorted. "Of course not," he replied solemnly. "I am
resting my eyes."
Charles placed his hand on Erik's hip and slowly passed it down
along his slim thigh. Luckily they were alone here, and didn't
to wear any clothing. In this heat any clothing would have been
unbearable. And watching a naked Erik was certainly not bad, either.
Or to show him love.
The world was actually evolving, but they still had a long way to
go. Being openly homosexual on a public beach was perhaps not to
"Aren't you hot?" Charles asked.
Erik rolled over to his back, sighing. Yes, he was hot, alright.
"Very," he confessed. "I almost wonder if not Hell is
cooler " he
muttered, and then couldn't help laughing at his own statement.
we will know, Charles, since we'll get there, at least according
all those Christian priests!"
After saying this Erik began to laugh even more. Charles really
didn't think it was funny, but he laughed with Erik anyway.
Sometimes his lover could be so cynical. Probably it was due to his
childhood and his time at Auschwitz during the war, and although
Charles knew what had happened there, it was nothing that Erik was
happy to talk about, so they mostly left it alone.
Charles, whose parents had been faithful Christians, didn't have
such a cynical approach to the Church's way of regarding
homosexuality. His parents were dead now, but if they'd been
Charles was sure they wouldn't have liked the idea of their son
loving a man, who was also a Jew. It was sad, as Charles never had
the chance to tell them about his orientation.
But, he thought, I didn't tell them I could read minds either.
actually that is a whole lot weirder than my love for Erik.
Charles didn't know where his unique and sometimes frightening
ability came from. Neither of his parents, nor any other relatives
had it, but he suspected it was caused by some kind of hereditary,
mutated freaky gene.
Only Erik of the people he now knew was aware of this anomaly, and
Charles knew he could trust Erik. Erik loved him, of course, and
they belonged together, but Erik's understanding also depended on
the fact that he was abnormal himself. He wasn't a telepath, but
instead he had a perhaps even stranger power complete control
Unlike Charles, Erik wasn't interested in knowing where his
incredible power came from, or why he had it all he wanted was
keep it secret, since he knew the society wouldn't accept him if
they found out.
Yes, Erik could be really cynical.
Charles regarded Erik inquiringly. Right now his face was lax and
peaceful. Despite that Erik wasn't old barely even middle
he often had hard lines around his eyes and mouth, but all such
signs of age were gone now. Charles knew why. Erik felt safe here.
Now he didn't have to worry.
"What are you thinking about?" Erik suddenly muttered when he
noticed Charles' intense look. "Tell me, I can't read
Charles smiled. "I am just thinking of how beautiful you are."
Erik snorted, but still had to laugh.
"Do you know how I really feel? Like a boiled hotdog. Can't
"Yes, that would be great," Charles agreed.
Erik quickly bounced to his feet and stretched his slender naked
body. His pallid skin gleamed with sweat, and he looked exactly like
Charles felt hot. Erik reached out his hand and pulled his
to his feet.
They exchanged a quick kiss before they continued towards the water,
with their arms around each other's waists. This would be their
first time swimming in the lake's clear blue water.
"Do you think it's cold?" Charles asked.
"We'll see," Erik replied.
"Yes, you're so right about that!"
Right in that very moment Charles decided to so something impulsive.
He bent down and scooped Erik into his arms before the other even
could react, and started running fast toward the water.
Erik started screaming the following second, and kicked his legs
out, though it was no real resistance, but he actually liked what
was happening. But when he saw Charles was approaching the water
front he got terrified.
"No, don't drop me there!" he cried and tried to fight
laughter that was bubbling out of him. "Charles! You hear me? You
But Charles could, and he did. When the water reached his mid-thighs
he let go of Erik and mercilessly dropped him into the cold water.
Erik was still laughing and yelling when he went into water, and
therefore swallowed several mouths before he could react and fought
to get his head over the surface.
Charles was laughing. His darling looked like a drowned mouse. In
spite that Erik got quite a few involuntary gulps of cold water he
wasn't really mad. But he was pretending.
"You bastard!" he spat out furiously. "What were you
"But honey, you know I think you're so cute when you're
Erik's eyes narrowed, and he said, "But do you know
Charlie? So are you!"
Without a forewarning, Erik kicked out his legs from under him and
made Charles fall headfirst into the cold water. Charles wasn't
which was worse; what Erik just did or that he had called
Erik, who obviously realized he was in trouble, started moving away
already before Charles got to his feet. But running in water
easy at all, and Erik didn't get a very long start. Charles soon
caught up with him, and once he caught Erik, he wrapped both his
arms around him and seized him in a grip his lover couldn't break
Erik sure was a bit taller than him, but more slender, so Charles
knew he was physically stronger.
In vain Erik struggled against the arms that were wrapped around his
waist, but they seemed to be made of steel although if they had
been, he could have taken care of them easily. Flesh and blood were
"Let go before you choke me " he muttered at last and ceased
"Erik, my love, after 20 years in my house, plus my bed, you
really know my name," Charles said with his mouth to Erik's
ear. "*Not* Charlie. Not ever. Have I made myself clear?"
"Yes, sir " Erik muttered and tried to wriggle out again.
let me go now?"
"Ask really nicely."
"Pretty please Charles, maybe you can let me go now? I'd
to get out of this without rupturing my spleen."
Charles laughed. "Sure, sweetheart. Just don't fly at me."
"I cross my heart."
Slowly Charles released Erik, yet he stayed closely behind him,
ready to grab him again in case he attempted something. But Erik did
not. He leaned back against Charles' chest instead, and turned
head toward the blue afternoon sky. "The Dip" had actually
refreshing and he no longer felt so sweaty. The water was cold, but
it didn't take his body long to adapt, so it no longer bothered
Charles kissed the soft skin of Erik's neck and shoulder, and his
arms closed around Erik's waist again, though softer this time.
he didn't have to worry his lover would run away from him. At
it didn't seem so. His body wanted to feel Charles' hands on
"Erik " he whispered and started to notice his increased
and ragged breathing. "I don't know if it's some strange
in the water, but I'm getting very "
"Horny?" Erik finished his sentence. "Or maybe that word
found in your vocabulary?"
But whether it did or not, Erik knew that was the case. This because
he could feel the proof of Charles' arousal against his buttocks.
"Hmm " the telepath muttered dreamingly. "How could you
Perhaps because you are so lovely I can't be near you
do you believe it is possible to have sex in the water?"
Erik chuckled. "I suppose it's possible, but certainly not
comfortable or healthy, so my suggestion is we wait until we've
of the water. So let me go now, you lovesick dummy, I'd like to
Erik shook free from Charles' embrace and dove into the water
Charles himself merely sighed, sinking back into the lake until he
was floating flat on his back and looking at the still-as-blue sky.
He came to think of something that Erik said earlier; the ironic
statement about the Christian Church's view of homosexuality.
Is there a God out there? Charles wondered. I was raised to believe
so. If there is, does he hate me because I love Erik?
There were so many questions, and Charles didn't know the answer
any of them. But he knew one thing whatever happened, he
lose Erik. A few minutes later Erik returned, splashing water on his
face to get his attention. When Charles' face crumpled up and he
went underneath the surface Erik couldn't help laughing at his
"Come on now!" he snickered. "Weren't we supposed to
"Like what?" Charles asked while rubbing his eyes.
"Come on, I'll refresh your memory!"
Erik grabbed his lover's hand and started pulling him toward the
beach. Charles let him do it. Of course he knew what Erik was
referring to, and he wasn't exactly unwilling. Very well. Perhaps
was teasing Erik just because he looked so cute while begging for
When they crawled up from the lake they were cold and wet, and
despite the warm air Charles shivered. He glanced at their blanket;
well protected beneath the huge oak tree, and could hardly wait to
take Erik there, and
Suddenly he glimpsed something else that caught his attention. To
their left were a few large boulders that reached up to 50 feet
above the water. Some of the rocks were quite steep, though with a
fairly good sense of balance and some willpower there wouldn't be
any problems climbing them. Charles had an idea.
"Erik," he said, pulling Erik's hand. "Up there,
look. Wouldn't it
be cool to get up there and have a look at the view?"
Erik's reply was a snort. "Really? Just when you've got
you change your mind and want to do mountain climbing instead? What
Charles just smiled. Yes, Erik's semi-hard member revealed he
probably had other interests than climbing rocks.
"There is plenty of time for that *later*," Charles promised
Right now I'd like to do this. We've got lots of time. And
you are damn sexy when you're climbing rocks naked," he
winked seductively at Erik, and actually managed to pull a smile
from the other man.
"I have never climbed any rocks," he replied.
"Soon you have," said Charles.
Despite that neither of them was an experienced climber they managed
to get up relatively unharmed. A fall could have ended up badly, but
there was hardly any risk. Erik did scrape his left knee, and
muttered a few curses in German a language he now used only
he was upset.
When they were finally up they approached the ledge, looking down at
the lake and its surrounding environment.
Beautiful, they both admitted. Maybe one scraped knee was a price
worth paying for such a lovely view.
"It is beautiful," Charles said, and again took Erik's
entwine their fingers.
"Hmm " Erik agreed. "It is."
Yes, it *was* beautiful, he had to grant Charles that, but really he
had much rather wanted to lie on the blanket down there with Charles
on top or underneath himself which depended on his mood. Right
he wanted to be on top. But instead of saying it, he squeezed
Charles' hand back and admired the view with him.
"Can we sit down?" he asked after some time. "Dangle our
the edge, maybe?"
"Should we sit without a towel, you think?" Charles asked
hesitantly. "Isn't it a kind of dirty?"
Erik laughed. "Dirty? No! This warm piece of rock is going to
good underneath our bare buttocks. Come on, now."
Carefully, without any hast movement, they sat down on the verge of
the cliff with their legs freely dangling over the edge.
"If you fall I promise to hold on to you, if you'll do the
me," said Erik.
Charles leaned forth and gently put his arm around his lover's
shoulders. Thin, but not fragile. He then nuzzled Erik's throat,
inhaling his scent. Right now he smelled of damp skin, summer and
sweat. It was a very earthly smell. Charles liked it. He opened his
mouth and let his tongue tip brush Erik's soft, smooth skin. The
taste was salty, and slightly bitter, but not repulsive. Charles
would have loved to lick his body clean.
Suddenly Erik sighed. "Charles if this is what you'd
like to do,
then maybe we should go down to the blanket, don't you think?"
Charles smiled and pulled back. "It was just a kiss. Nothing
"I don't trust you."
"You have my word."
"I thought we were here to admire the view."
"We can talk at the same time."
"What do you want to talk about?"
Charles gave it some thought. "You know I love you, Erik, but in
case we ever marry, I won't change my name into Charles
Erik snorted. "In this country? Forget it! I have lived here
1949 and people are still as narrow minded!"
"Not everyone, Erik," Charles remarked.
"Almost. Charles, what will happen to our kind?"
"Our kind ?" Charles asked. "You mean ?"
"No, not homosexuals. I mean "
Erik's voice sank and his expression grew serious. He clearly
remembered what had happened to "his kind" the Jews
Germany, and he was terrified that something like that might happen
in the States as well.
"You mean us with gifts?" Charles asked carefully.
Erik nodded mutely.
"I don't know," Charles replied honestly. "I
don't even know how
many we are. I am no oracle. I can't see the future."
"I am scared."
"I know, darling," Charles said compassionately and started
Erik's neck. "I am scared too."
"Can we go down?"
"Yes, come. Let's do it."
A few minutes later they were down on the ground again, lying in
each other's arms on the blanket beneath the tree. Once they got
down they noticed neither of them felt like having sex any longer,
so they decided trying to take a nap instead.
Again Charles lay on his back, with Erik pressed to his left side
with half his body atop Charles' and one arm thrown over his
ribcage. All Charles wanted now was a pillow to place under his
head otherwise everything was perfect. He had his love, he had
health, and he was happier than ever.
Charles wasn't sure how many times his alarm clock rang before he
finally woke up from his dream and opened his eyes. It took him
quite some time to even understand how he was suddenly transferred
from a warm, sunny beach to his plain old room at home, but when he
realized the truth and saw the hated, monstrous object, also known
as his wheelchair standing by his bed he was no longer surprised.
Instead he despaired.
For several seconds he lay totally still, simply staring at the
wheelchair with blank eyes, until he felt something moving behind
him and then Erik's annoyed voice. "Charles!" the other
snapped. "Turn the alarm clock off! I'm going crazy,
Charles just kept on staring at the alarm clock's phosphorous
digital numbers, which told him it was 7:02 AM, and then slowly
reached his hand out and turned off the alarm.
Erik sighed behind him and leaned back against the pillows. He
didn't like being awakened either, and wanted nothing more than
going back to sleep, but he had yet to realize there was something
wrong with Charles. He still believed his lover simply had trouble
waking up today which was never a problem in normal cases.
Charles was an early bird while Erik himself was a night owl. It
could be a bad combination sometimes, but so far their relationship
has survived the differences. So what was this?
"Charles," he finally said. "Prolonging the ordeal
won't help. Come
But Charles barely heard what Erik said. He kept staring at his
wheelchair a despised object he'd been forced to live with
over 20 years, and which he'd never be free from. The dream where
could walk had only been a dream, and when the dream ended nothing
was left. Only bittersweet memories and a harsh reality.
Charles recalled every detail in his dream, and realized it was the
most alive and believable dream he'd ever had, but no more real
any other dream.
When Erik sat up in the bed and got ready to jump out, he noticed
Charles was still lying completely still, and that's when he
to worry. Was Charles ill? Was he alright?
"Charles?" he asked carefully and gently placed his hand on
telepath's shoulder. "Are you alright?"
Charles tried to suppress a sob. Tears had started gathering in his
eyes and he was unable to hold them back. He didn't want Erik to
him cry, because there was really no reason for it, and he didn't
want Erik to believe he was becoming oversensitive. Charles seldom
cried, and that's how Erik was used to seeing him.
But Erik instantly realized something was wrong and became more and
"Charles, turn around," he pleaded.
"No, Erik " Charles whispered back.
"Please? Let me look at you. What's wrong?"
"I I just "
"Charles, are you in pain?"
"Then what is wrong? You're scaring me," he said
Charles sighed, and decided it was best to be honest and tell Erik
everything. Erik wouldn't give up before he did, and besides Erik
was his lover and closest friend, so he if anyone should be able to
Charles rolled to his back, so that Erik could see his face, and
then said, in a slow and clear voice, "I had a dream "
Erik's eyebrows went up to his forehead, and he looked stunned to
say the least, but then asked, "Was it a bad dream?"
Charles sighed again and chose to look at the ceiling. If it were,
he thought. You want to wake up from nightmares. But not dreams like
"No, it was a wonderful dream " he whispered.
Erik's bemused expression grew even more puzzled. It was very
that he was thinking, //So he's had a nice dream, and yet
"But Charles, why are you crying?" he asked and gently put
on Charles' forehead.
Charles didn't know what to answer. Yeah, why was he crying,
Because he couldn't stay in his dream world, like he'd hoped?
Because reality was being all too harsh? Because he'd grown sick
his life? No, nothing made any sense, and Charles honestly didn't
"I just " he sighed and blinked down a tear from his eye.
"Then what did you dream?" Erik asked instead, hoping to get
answer this time. Charles very seldom cried, and never without a
reason, so Erik wasn't sure whether to be surprised or worried.
But instead of answering his questions, Charles crawled closer to
his lover and snuggled up against him. "Hold me, Erik.
Erik did of course what he was asked, closing his arms around the
sobbing telepath and stroking his tenderly. If Charles didn't
to tell, he wouldn't demand an answer from him, although he
help wondering what it really was.
"I'll tell you " Charles said after a while, knowing
what Erik was
thinking. "But promise you won't laugh at me "
"No, of course not. You know I would never do that. Now tell
Charles believed Erik, and slowly started telling him about his
dream, and how incredibly sad it was waking up to a life imprisoned
in his own body. He didn't expect Erik to understand exactly how
felt, as Erik had his full mobility left, but he was hoping his
story at least would make some sense.
Erik's listened to his friend without interrupting, and when
was done he didn't know what to do to comfort his lover. On
it seemed almost like his whole life was over because of his
handicap something he'd already lived with for 25 years.
"Charles," Erik finally said. "I can't understand why
yourself as a prisoner to your own body. That is definitely not
true. There are lots of things that you can do despite your
paralysis. You can't walk, but besides that you are "
But Charles firmly shook his head. No, Erik didn't understand. He
couldn't. Not this.
"Charles " Erik tried again, holding the other man close.
let a dream There has to be more."
"I I felt " Charles took a deep breath and tried hard
coherently. "When the alarm clock woke me up this morning, my own
wheelchair was the first thing I saw. It was like seeing your own
prison. That hideous thing has become my prison, and I can't
without it. I need it for everything I do. Everything I dreamt of
disappeared when I saw that wheelchair. There is nothing left."
"What about me?" Erik asked carefully. "I am here, right?
I am no
Charles almost felt like laughing, but he didn't, since there was
"Sometimes I wonder if you're a dream as well " he
are so beautiful I don't deserve you, Erik "
Now Erik started getting really upset. Hearing such things leaving
Charles' mouth made him angry; both with his lover and himself.
he knew one thing he had to get those thoughts out of
head. At once.
"What is wrong with you!" he exclaimed. "Why do you think
Because of compassion? I am here because I love you!"
Erik cupped Charles' head in his hands and forced him to lift his
eyes. "As a telepath you really shouldn't have to ask! Look
Erik wasn't sure if this was the best way to put an end to
melancholy mood, since he'd never been bound to comfort Charles
before. Instead it used to be the other way around. Many years after
his stay at Auschwitz Erik had frequent nightmares, and often woke
up at nights, sweaty and screaming. Charles had always been there to
take him into his safe arms whenever it happened, and always managed
to calm him with his serene voice, assuring him everything would be
Erik certainly didn't have nightmares quite as often anymore, but
when it happened Charles' arms were the first place he sought. Of
course. Charles always made him feel better. Could he now do the
same for Charles?
Yelling was obviously not the best of ideas, so Erik tried to calm
down and think like a psychologist. Hmm The first thing a
psychologist would probably say would be to search for the cause of
the problem. But Erik didn't know what, and finding out would be
"Charles," he said again, though with a softer voice.
"Tell me what
we did in your dream that we can't do here?"
"Climbing rocks, for instance," Charles replied. "You
beautiful, climbing rocks stark naked," he added with a faint
Erik couldn't help chuckling. "I don't believe you'll
ever see me
climbing any rocks, naked or otherwise. That is not my thing. What
else did we do?"
"I chased you."
"You can chase me pretty good in your wheelchair. You don't
Charles just sighed in reply. It wasn't the same, of course, and
they both knew it.
"And more?" Erik asked. "Did we make love?"
"There was no time," Charles said.
"Too bad. I am sure you would have loved taking me standing,
The questions managed to pull a weak smile out of Charles. Yes, it
certainly would have been a great experience taking Erik from
behind. Unfortunately he was incapable of doing it.
Erik pulled Charles' head against his own and rested his forehead
against his temple.
"Maybe you can't take me standing, but you should know I love
anyway," he said gravely. "So do not let a stupid dream take
self-esteem, my friend. There is so much you can do, even without
"So you don't think I am holding you back?" Charles
"You know you don't."
Erik kissed his lover, and hoped Charles would return the kiss. He
did, even though it took some time. Charles was a good kisser and
Erik hoped he still knew it.
"Would you make love to me, Erik?" Charles asked while
his lips from Erik's.
"Would you like that?" Erik said softly and stroked
cheekbone with his thumb.
Charles nodded. "Yes, absolutely."
"What would you like to do?" Erik murmured and started
lover again. "Would you like me to ride you, or are we "
"You, inside me," whispered Charles. "You know what I
"Yes, after all these years I suppose I do," Erik replied,
Of course Erik knew what Charles liked, and vice versa. Erik usually
preferred being the active part, and he had his reasons. After being
raped as a child during the war, Erik had trouble relaxing when he
was penetrated, and even though they had tried switching places
sometimes Charles knew Erik couldn't really enjoy it, so
this was the best way.
They kissed some more before Erik started fumbling for the buttons
of Charles' nightshirt. Erik himself slept, and would always
naked, but Charles chose to wear a soft loose cotton shirt in bed,
even though he always slept naked from the waist down. His reason
was simply that underwear, even small briefs, felt too confining and
caused sores, especially when you couldn't lift your own legs to
In the summertime Charles too slept naked, but it was already late
October, and he had gone back to sleeping in his "nightshirt"
whatever one should call it.
When Erik was about to unbutton his shirt, Charles caught his hands
top stop him.
"Can I please keep it on?" he asked. "I am cold "
Erik nodded, although he was surprised. Charles always took all his
clothes off when they made love, and he suspected there were other
reasons than cold this time. Was Charles ashamed of his body?
But instead of demanding he'd take it off, Erik slid his hands
inside the shirt, and gently started caressing Charles' ribcage.
skin was smooth and firm despite he was already 46 years old, and he
honestly had a very good body. But instead of telling, Erik decided
to show him.
He pulled his hands along Charles' body until he reached his
Then he pulled the shirt up and exposed his lover's erect member,
which was already as hard as it could become. Despite his disability
Charles had no trouble whatsoever getting aroused. He responded
quickly and was always ready when the time came.
Charles returned Erik's caresses. Slowly he stroked Erik's
shoulders with his hands, enjoying the feeling of the slender body
in his hands. Erik really was beautiful.
They kissed again, and Erik took the upper position, and started
rubbing their bodies together. He would have preferred feeling bare
skin all the way, but in a way Charles was really sexy in his shirt,
especially with his stiff penis sticking out under it.
Erik took out the lubricant they always used and started to prepare
Charles closed his eyes when he felt a finger entering him, and then
two. Erik's fingers were sleek and slid in without resistance.
two and a half decade of practice Erik didn't have to search for
friend's prostate; he found it automatically.
Charles moaned with pleasure and moved his right hand down to stroke
his own throbbing member.
"You liked that, didn't you?" Erik said, smiling widely.
the real thing!"
Erik withdrew his fingers and instead lifted Charles' legs,
his ankles over his shoulders. Charles wished he could have felt
Erik tenderly stroking his calves, but he couldn't; he could only
"Ready?" Erik asked softly.
With one fluent movement Erik was in him. Charles gasped when he was
entered, but it wasn't from pain. Erik knew Charles knew what he
doing, so there was no reason to be over-careful. Despite this Erik
was still for a few seconds to give his friend time to adjust, and
then started moving rhythmically.
Charles' head lolled aside and he rubbed his face into the
while moaning faintly. He felt a strong urge to reach his hand down
and stroke himself, but he didn't since he knew Erik wouldn't
appreciate it. He wanted to do it for Charles himself, but not yet.
Erik enjoyed the act, but almost as much he enjoyed looking at
Charles and giving him pleasure. Although Erik preferred being
active he was far from a selfish lover. Charles' pleasure was as
important to him as his own.
Charles knew, of course, and was immensely grateful for the bond
between them. He was 46, and yet Erik was his only sexual
experience. As a teenager, when his parents were still alive,
had a number of "girlfriends" only for the sake of
but a few innocent kisses were as far as he went with them. Erik was
the first person who awoke such feelings in him.
They moved in rhythm for a few more minutes, until Erik felt he was
approaching his climax and tightened his hold of Charles, as he
started moving faster. With one hand he started stroking Charles'
throbbing red erection and was soon rewarded with an intense cry of
pleasure and a load of semen splashed on his hand and Charles'
"My turn, darling " Erik groaned and thrust hard all the way
hilt. He repeated the procedure a few times and then spurted his
seed inside Charles, whose inner muscles clamped down on his member,
pulling the very last drop out of him.
Erik almost felt ready to drop. Sex was good, but it was also power
consuming, and when he thought about it he recalled he hadn't
anything since yesterday afternoon. Jesus! No wonder he had no
Momentarily dizzy, Erik slid out of his lover and fell down next to
him in bed, still panting heavily.
Charles was lying still with his eyes closed, also sweating
profusely. Maybe it would have best to take the shirt off anyway?
However, he didn't have the strength for it now. All he really
wanted was to turn around and go back to sleep, with Erik spooned
behind his back.
A part of his wish came true. Erik wrapped his arm around his waist
and snuggled in behind him. The contact burned when Erik's hand
happened to brush Charles' now soft, flaccid penis. Erik noticed
Charles shivered and teasingly squeezed his member once more.
"I really believed you'd had enough," he teased.
"I have " Charles murmured.
"You're messy," Erik pointed out and rested his sticky
"I know "
"Are you going up?"
"Good. Me neither."
They lay still for some time without saying anything, as if both
waited for the other to take the first step. But neither did.
"Are you better now?" Erik finally asked.
"Yes " Charles murmured back, although the dream was still
his memory. But what was the good of being sad? He couldn't walk,
and having the blues would not give him his mobility back. And when
he thought about it he actually had a lot to be proud of; a
beautiful house, money, wits, a good education, and the most
important Erik, to share his life with.
"That is good," Erik whispered in his ear and then kissed his
neck. "I knew you'd be alright "
Erik honestly didn't know what he would have done if Charles had
continued being under the weather. He wanted to help his lover, and
support him, but Erik understood thermodynamics and supra
conductors, not people. That was Charles' field.
Erik often wished he'd had Charles' empathic ability, but he
and there was nothing he could do about that. He only wanted Charles
to be happy.
"Would you like to talk about your dream?" Erik asked gently
while of silence.
If Charles didn't answer he would take it as a no, and leave the
subject, but in case he said yes Erik would do his utmost to be a
Charles sighed. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted, but since he
still thought about the dream all the time, he might as well talk
"Alright " he said slowly. "I suppose we can "
He rolled over to his back so he could look into Erik's face. His
lover's pale blue eyes were serious and full of compassion. Since
Erik himself often had nasty nightmares he knew from personal
experience what a strong impression they could make.
"Did we talk about anything special?" asked Erik.
"Yes For instance I asked you if you believed we'd be
able to marry
Erik failed to hold back a smile. "I said "no",
Charles nodded. "Yes. "Never in this country" you
said." Then he
shrugged. "Maybe you were right. What do I know?"
"I don't think marriage itself is that important," said
Erik. "It is
merely a formality, and we can live without that."
Charles smiled. "I suppose you're right. But in case we ever
I will not change my name into Charles Lehnsherr."
Erik even looked a bit indignant. "Why not? If we have to choose
name it has to be mine "Erik Xavier" How corny is
"No better than "Charles Lehnsherr"," Charles agreed.
Lehnsherr is a "
Charles quickly interrupted himself when he realized what he was
saying, but it was too late. Erik finished his sentence for
him. "Jewish name. I know," he said.
"Erik, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to "
Erik put his hand on Charles' chest. "Charles, I know. It is
alright. Really. But you should know I'm not ashamed of who I am.
Jews are not very liked wherever we go, but I happen to be proud of
"Erik, I know," Charles said softly and stroked Erik's
head that now
lay atop his chest. "You know I'm not shamed of you being
"But unfortunately you have to be a white, Christian,
male to be accepted in this country," Erik murmured.
"They are dead. They mean nothing any longer," Charles
"But if they had been alive? Had your life been different if in
"Probably," Charles admitted. "But that is not the point.
I met you,
and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. Everything
else is irrelevant."
"I just wish things were simpler " Erik sighed.
"Me too, my dear. But *if* we ever marry "
"Are we having a Jewish or a Christian wedding?"
Erik laughed against Charles' clothed chest. "Neither,"
replied. "We'll have a private ceremony With just the
two of us."
"We can have that at home Whenever we want to."
"You're so right about that!" Erik chuckled and crawled
up until he
was in eyelevel with Charles and could kiss him. "Can we marry,
and now?" he proposed.
"That sounds like a good idea," Charles replied smiling and
Erik back. "But we've already had our wedding night "
"Yes, 25 years ago."
"Hmm But it doesn't matter now, does it? We can have it
many times as we want to."
"Yes. I love you."
"I love you too, Charles."