5251Beta Reader Please
- Jul 31, 2003If anyone is interested I would like to have a beta reader for a fan
fic I am writing. Here is my first chapter. E-mail me at
SneakyJackal@... if you are interested.
Notice: I would like full criticism about this fan fiction. Please
don't hold back. I welcome all opinions good or bad.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-men nor am I affiliated with it. I am not
writing this fan fiction to make money and nor shall I profit from
this. This was written for the enjoyment of myself and others.
Summary: This fan fiction is about a group of assassins known as the
E.S.A. They are highly trained mercenaries hired by the government
to hunt and assassinate mutants all across the globe.
Contact: If you would like to contact me personally then please e-
mail at SneakyJackal@...
I LIVE FOR THIS
It was a bright spring day in upstate New York. The air was still
filled with brisk morning fog. You could hear the cars honking and
the sound of business in the background.
A teacher stands in the middle talking and explaining the process a
cell goes through. She is a middle-aged woman named Christina Hailey
but her students know her as Ms. Hailey. Ms. Hailey was well liked
by most students for not giving homework assignments.
"Okay class does everyone understand the process of mitosis?"
questioned Ms. Hailey.
"I understand Ms. Hailey," replied Dana.
"What about you Chris?" Ms. Hailey asked.
There was no reply. Chris had his head down sleeping.
"Chris are you sleeping again?" "Wake up, your not allowed to sleep
in my class," said Ms. Hailey.
There still was no reply. Chris was still fast asleep. Ms. Hailey
was getting frustrated. You could see the wrinkles in her forehead
Ms. Hailey said, "Dana would you please wake up Chris."
Dana replied, "Okay Ms. Hailey."
Dana leaned over and tapped Chris. He was still sleeping. Ms. Hailey
grew tired of this and threw her book on the floor. The sound was
loud and woke up Chris.
"Chris, I'm tired of you sleeping in my class." "You need to learn
to go to bed early and get enough sleep."
"If you continue to sleep in my class I am going to have to refer
you to Discipline." Ms. Hailey firmly stated.
"Why don't I just do you a favor and sleep in Discipline." Chris
Ms. Hailey replied, "Its your choice, life is what you make it."
"That is bullshit." Chris said walking out of the class.
Before Ms. Hailey could say anything Chris walked out of the room.
Ms. Hailey uttered, "Gosh that boy knows how to pluck my nerves."
There was a sudden pause after Chris left. Then Ms. Hailey continued
Ms. Hailey asks, "Okay class mitosis is the process in cell division
in which the nucleus divides and goes through four stages." "Can
anyone tell what those stages are?"
Dana raises her hand volunteering to answer the question. But Ms.
Hailey does not call her. Instead she chooses a kid sitting in the
back of the class, Michael Kosetti. He was a mutant. And of coarse
no one knew of it. His special power was a telekinetic. He was very
good at using it and unlike most mutants at his age accepted his
gift and was proud of his mutation. Although he was proud of his
mutant heritage only his mutant friends knew of his abilities, the
rest of the people only knew him to be normal.
"Michael, could you please answer the question?" Ms. Hailey asks.
Michael replies, "Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, and Telephase."
"Very good Michael." Ms. Hailey praised.
Ms. Hailey begins writing notes on the chalkboard as the rest of the
students start to copy them. Soon after Chris walks back in the
classroom and sits down as if he had never even left. Ms. Hailey
begins to question him.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh you would like to join the class now?" Ms. Hailey says.
"Sadly...Yes there is just nothing to do today is there." Chris
"I'm sure you'll have plenty of things to do during Saturday
School." Ms. Hailey responds.
"Saturday School...For what?" asks Chris.
"Profanity will not be tolerated in my class Mr. Redfield." Ms.
"Well ain't that a bizzle," jokes Chris.
The class lets out slight giggles as Ms. Hailey continues her lesson.
"Okay class can anyone tell me what mutation is?" Ms. Hailey asks.
Chris yells out, "Yea those freaks on television."
The class laughs while Ms. Hailey desperately tries to keep the
class interested in the learning discussion.
"They are not freaks, they are normal human beings like you and me,"
explains Ms. Hailey.
"No they aren't, they deserve to be slaughtered, all of them." Chris
"Chris I will not tolerate inappropriate discussion from you." Ms.
Hailey firmly states.
"You know that's really sad, my own teacher a mutant lover," rants
"That is enough!" "I don't want to hear anymore of your nonsense
today!" Ms. Hailey exclaims.
"Alright...Chill out Ms. H just trying to make some laughs, its all
good." Chris replies with a pleasant tone.
Ms. Hailey continues her lesson on mutation and the class gets back
to normal. Chris ends up dropping his pencil and looks around his
desk for it. In the back Michael has moved it with his telekinesis.
Michael launches the pencil at Chris' head. The pencil hits him in
the back of the head and some of the students around him laugh.
"Okay...okay class, settle down, this is very important, it will be
on your test." Ms. Hailey states.
Chris looks around and sees a glare in Michaels eyes and accuses him.
"Did you throw my pencil at me?" Chris asks Michael with an
"Yea bitch the freak did it." Michael answers the question
telepathically to Chris.
"So you can read minds, is that your special power?" Chris thought.
"Not so tough are you?" Michael said with his mind.
"Imma tell you my little secret." "I am an E.S.A. and I'm going to
kill you." Chris thought.
Michael immediately cuts off the transmission. Chris looks at him
with an evil grin and Michael has a look of distilled fear.
"Ms. Hailey can I be excused?" asks Chris.
"Well okay but be quick, this is important." Ms. Hailey says.
"Okay I will." Chris answers.
Chris is a member of the E.S.A. that stands for the Elite Stealth
Assassins. The E.S.A. is funded by the government to capture mutants
yet none of them have ever been captured but slain in cold blood.
The government does not give them the right to kill people but they
do anyway. No was has enough resilience to stand against them. They
kill innocent mutants from the oldest to the newborn. Their leader
is Ben Reilly an ex-militant. He is only known to those as Dark
Star, his real name remains a mystery. His hatred with mutants began
when his wife died of an unstable mutation in a laboratory trying to
help a mutant friend. Ever since that day Ben has devoted his entire
life toward the destruction of mutants. He has been killing mutants
for about 6 years since his wife's death. Many of his followers have
died to mutants because of their powerfully abilities until now.
With the help of government scientists they have discovered a drug
they call, "nano-machines." This drug gives the user temporary
abilities like super strength, rapid healing, and resistance to
other mutants' powers. The only with the drug problem is that the
drug remains dormant in the human body for weeks and overtime can be
extremely fatal to adults. Ben recruits both children and teenagers
at a young age to become soldiers for this war. If the nano-machines
were used early the body would learn to accept them but the effects
would only be short-lasting. Once the body accepted the nano-
machines less treatment would be required and the effects would
Dark Star once used his own nano-machines drug on himself and his
body didn't respond well to them. It caused complications and made
him insane. Dark Star goal is to destroy every last mutant on Earth.
He trains young boys and girls and uses them as war machines. Every
soldier he trains is completely devoted to the destruction of
mutants and is ready for die for the cause.
Chris returns to the classroom. He locks his eyes on Michael, who
still has a look of fear on his face. Michael tries to look away but
Chris continues to glance at Michael.
"Mr. Redfield if you would kindly take a seat." Ms. Hailey requested.
"Of coarse Ms. Hailey," Chris responded.
Michael tried to probe Chris' mind trying to find some answers to
why Chris was going to kill him. He's heard of the E.S.A. Secret
meetings of mutants are held to talk about daily issues that bother
them. In one of the last meetings the president, Kittie Pryde said
that there has been a group of people wiping out mutants and they
are now in the area. She said to watch for them and they should not
be underestimated. There have been 108 cases of mutants being killed
by assassins but they were never brought to justice.
"Tsk tsk you shouldn't be in there then I would really have to kill
you," said Chris.
Michael gasped, "Why are...why are you going to kill me, I...I
didn't do anything to you."
"It's your kind, it's your living, your breathing, your disgust." "I
don't think you deserve to live, I think you and your people should
be destroyed, and not because we fear you but because we don't like
you, because you deserve to die." Chris answered.
"Fuck you." "Fuck you, I'm going to fight you." "I'm not afraid,"
Ms. Hailey was surprised by Michael's loud outburst. She never
witnessed Michael using profanity.
"Michael can I have a word with your outside?" Ms. Hailey stated.
Michael got up from his seat and began to walk out the class when
the fire alarm went off. Michael's body jolted as he was stunned by
the fire alarm.
"Okay we go down the hall to the right." "Please people, try to stay
with the class, I have to take the roll and we can't have anyone
missing." Ms. Hailey said as the students left the building.
Michael was not sure if he was being set up or this was just a
regular fire drill so he stayed close to Ms. Hailey. Chris followed
Michael closely. Because of the nano-machines Chris had the ability
to read Michael's mind. The nano-machines give the user resistance
to other mutants' powers. The resistance enables the user to absorb
the mutants' power for as long as the nano-machines are still
potent. Chris searched Michaels mind but found nothing to be of
"How can you hate your own blood?" Michael said telepathically.
"I'm not a mutant dumbass, I just absorbed your power." Chris said.
"How?" asked Michael.
"Not telling, but I have a question for you." Chris answered.
The students were all out of the building now. In the background you
could see the school gym on fire. The building crumbling completely
engulfed in flames. Loud thundering came when large debris fell to
"Holy shit the gym is on fire," exclaimed Dana.
"Who could have done such a thing?" grieved Ms. Hailey.
Michael looked at it with awe. He had never witnessed such
destruction. He didn't know what to think of.
"It was those filthy mutants!" "They burned our gym, they did it."
"Yea they did we must make them pay," a student said.
"There is no evidence that a mutant has done this," stated Ms.
Michael knew what was going on now. He knew that the mutant hunters
had planned to incriminate mutants for this destruction. He had to
warn the others. He had to warn his friends...