5141Fic: She Learned the Hard Way
- Jul 1, 2003Title: She Learned the Hard Way
Universe: Post X-2
Pairing: Logan/Rogue, Scott/Rogue
Matt Murdock Clause: Characters are owned by Marvel and Fox. I know
this is going to come as a shock, but I'm using them without
permission. However I make absolutely no money from their use, and
intend no infringement in their use. If you choose to sue me, you
will get no money as I am a broke college student.
Feedback: Please! raggedyredd@...
Archive: Ask and ye shall receive.
A/N: See what happens when a muse won't take no for an answer.
Although told by Rogue, this was definitely Scott's doing. Hmm.. Took
the title from Fandom Nation's: Fast, Loose, and Lovely Challenge.
Thank you to K Marie for the quick beta. I hope I added the few
details you were looking for. Any mistakes are mine.
Hard Lesson #1 : Never think that you can change someone.
I always thought that if only I could make him see that he
loved me, then he would settle down. I don't really know what I
thought he'd do then. I guess I was too busy building a fantasy
around starting a family, that I didn't give that aspect a whole lot
of consideration. I see now that I really was way too young for him.
He was a grown man, and I was still a little girl wanting to play
Well, about a year after Jean's death he finally took the
plunge. He told me that he loved me, and that he'd been waiting until
I turned 18 before pursuing a relationship with me. For a while
things were really good. The sex was better than good. As time went
on I tried to change him, and he tried just as hard to change, but...
Yeah, I was quickly to learn the hard way that things like that never
Amazingly enough, it lasted a little over a year, until one
night he packed his bags and left while I slept on, completely
unaware of his departure. Now that I've had time to think it all
over, it hurts me to remember how desperately he tried to fit into a
mold that was never his.
Hard Lesson #2: Just because you love someone doesn't guarantee
happiness, or that you'll be with that person.
He wrote me one letter shortly after his disappearance
telling me how much he loved me, how he just couldn't be who I
needed, and how happy he thought I'd make some guy someday. I guess
that was his way of telling me not to wait for him. Of course at the
time, I vowed that I would never love anyone else. I teetered daily
between loving him and hating him, completely unable to take
responsibility for my own role in his leaving. Now I see that he had
far more courage then I did. He walked away because it was better for
me. I couldn't have been that selfless.
Hard Lesson #3: When it rains, it pours.
Anyway, about a month after he left, I found out I was
pregnant, about three months along, and with twins, no less. Heh, It
definitely wasn't my year. So there I was dumped and pregnant with
twins. I had no earthly idea where Logan was, how to get a hold of
him, or if I really even wanted to. At first I guess I thought that
his impeccable timing would kick in and that he'd ride in on that
proverbial white horse (albeit a little tarnished) and save me, but
alas it was not to be. Instead Scott Summers elected himself my
I was not amused. I had enough problems to deal with without
the Fearless leader being stuck up my ass. Amazingly instead of
getting on my nerves by constantly telling me what to do, he just
quietly started helping me pick up the mess I'd made of my life. He
never judged me. Boy, some of my friends did though. Between Jubilee
and Bobby, I was told plenty how stupid I was for ever getting with
Logan in the first place.
Over the course of my pregnancy, Scott was there every single
step of the way. He was there for everything from Doctor's visits,
to picking out the colors of the nursery, to picking out baby names.
I think that he was just as excited as I was about the impending
arrival of the babies.
I'm not really sure when it changed from him being my
teacher, leader, and friend, into being just Scott, the guy who I
happened to be falling for. Of course what business did a pregnant
girl have falling for anyone, most especially Scott? What is my
thing with older men anyway? So I did the only thing I could do at
the time, ignored my budding feelings, praying that they would go
With the birth of the twins coming closer, there were a lot
of concerns about my mutation. Apparently my body was accepting the
babies as part of itself at the time, but Doctor McCoy was unsure as
to whether my mutation would activate during child birth. A c-section
was discussed in great detail, but after Scott and I weighed the
pro's and con's we decided that we wanted to treat this as normally
as possible, and that we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.
At that point Dr. McCoy and Professor Xavier suggested that I
may want to think about giving my children up for adoption, as I was
so young and had my entire future in front of me. I don't think that
I've ever been so angry. I know that is the first time I've ever seen
Scott so angry. I really thought he was going to peg them with an eye
beam. With everyone so against me raising these children, it came as
a some surprise to me that Scott supported me 100%. I shouldn't have
been though. Scott had helped me make all the decisions almost from
the very moment that I discovered I was pregnant, so I guess he felt
very attached already. I just didn't know how attached at the time.
Then suddenly they were here. I went through natural
childbirth, which ended up in me finding the 'switch' to my mutation.
It was 30 hours of pure hell, but it was the most amazing thing in
the world to hold my two sons for the first time. Scott was there
throughout the whole ordeal, well mostly, he passed out once the
first baby came, and he seen blood. Funny how a man can be pretty
much a professional soldier, but pass out during child birth.
The look on Scott's face when he first held my sons is one
that I will never in a million years forget. It was full of awe and
love. I knew at that moment, that I had fallen completely, head over
heels in love with this wonderful man who supported me when no one
else did, and when he looked down at me the love that shone so
obviously for my children, shone just as bright for me. It felt so
right having him there, that Logan was barely a thought in my mind.
We ended up choosing the names Michael Israel and Raphael Isaiah. I
named them after the Archangel's one a patron of soldiers and one a
patron of healers. Though I never told Scott, they were named for
Logan's contradictory, but complimentary mutations.
Throughout that first year of diapers and 2am feedings, no
one had time to think of Logan, where Logan might be, or what he
would think of having two sons. Scott was always there lending a
helping hand. He was dependable and loyal, sexy and at times
incredibly infuriating. When the Michael and Raphael were 6 months
old, Scott told me that he was falling in love with me and that he
wanted a relationship with me. I told him I wasn't ready for another
relationship, and he said he'd wait until the twins' birthday before
asking me again.
Before I knew it or was ready for it, the twins' first
birthday had rolled along. Two days before, I had left the twins in
Scott's care and went off to think. It was then that I realized that
I'd grown up a lot in the last year, and that maybe, just maybe Scott
and I could make this work. Really, we already were in a
relationship, just without the sex.
Still, I took a lot of time just to weigh the differences
between Scott and Logan. I still loved Logan, but I also loved Scott.
Despite all the fantasies I had built around Logan, I could never
quite picture myself growing old with him, whereas with Scott, I
could see sharing that with him. With Logan my love was all-
consuming, completely out of control. With Scott, I had this bone-
deep feeling of rightness, my love wasn't something I had to control,
it was simply there, but there was still some major physical
On the day of the twins' birthday, after all the party things
were put away, and Scott and I were alone, it was time for the final
decision. And after all the weighing and the thinking that had left
me confused and uncertain, I found that when he looked into my eyes,
the decision was already made. It had been a year ago when he held
Michael and Raphael for the very first time. Not too many times in
life are you offered love, and I was not about to let it slip through
my fingers, because after all the pain, I didn't regret loving Logan,
who was at turns my savior, my friend, and my lover. Logan gave me
two gorgeous sons, and the chance to fall in love with the person
that was already who I needed him to be.
Scott and I didn't wait very long after starting a
relationship, only about 2 months, to cement it with the bond of
marriage. I'm now expecting our third child, and Scott is just as
excited as he was about the boys, who are still the light of his
The only real sadness in our personal lives, as our
professional one is always fraught with difficulty, is that our
friend and mentor, Charles Xavier is declining in health due to a
stroke. Logan still doesn't know that he fathered two children, but
I imagine he will soon, since the Professor has called all his X-men
End Act 1