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5141Fic: She Learned the Hard Way

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  • Redd
    Jul 1, 2003
      Title: She Learned the Hard Way
      Author: Redd
      Universe: Post X-2
      Pairing: Logan/Rogue, Scott/Rogue
      Rating: PG
      Matt Murdock Clause: Characters are owned by Marvel and Fox. I know
      this is going to come as a shock, but I'm using them without
      permission. However I make absolutely no money from their use, and
      intend no infringement in their use. If you choose to sue me, you
      will get no money as I am a broke college student.
      Feedback: Please! raggedyredd@...
      Archive: Ask and ye shall receive.
      A/N: See what happens when a muse won't take no for an answer.
      Although told by Rogue, this was definitely Scott's doing. Hmm.. Took
      the title from Fandom Nation's: Fast, Loose, and Lovely Challenge.
      Thank you to K Marie for the quick beta. I hope I added the few
      details you were looking for. Any mistakes are mine.

      Rogue P.O.V.

      Hard Lesson #1 : Never think that you can change someone.
      I always thought that if only I could make him see that he
      loved me, then he would settle down. I don't really know what I
      thought he'd do then. I guess I was too busy building a fantasy
      around starting a family, that I didn't give that aspect a whole lot
      of consideration. I see now that I really was way too young for him.
      He was a grown man, and I was still a little girl wanting to play
      Well, about a year after Jean's death he finally took the
      plunge. He told me that he loved me, and that he'd been waiting until
      I turned 18 before pursuing a relationship with me. For a while
      things were really good. The sex was better than good. As time went
      on I tried to change him, and he tried just as hard to change, but...
      Yeah, I was quickly to learn the hard way that things like that never
      work out.
      Amazingly enough, it lasted a little over a year, until one
      night he packed his bags and left while I slept on, completely
      unaware of his departure. Now that I've had time to think it all
      over, it hurts me to remember how desperately he tried to fit into a
      mold that was never his.

      Hard Lesson #2: Just because you love someone doesn't guarantee
      happiness, or that you'll be with that person.
      He wrote me one letter shortly after his disappearance
      telling me how much he loved me, how he just couldn't be who I
      needed, and how happy he thought I'd make some guy someday. I guess
      that was his way of telling me not to wait for him. Of course at the
      time, I vowed that I would never love anyone else. I teetered daily
      between loving him and hating him, completely unable to take
      responsibility for my own role in his leaving. Now I see that he had
      far more courage then I did. He walked away because it was better for
      me. I couldn't have been that selfless.

      Hard Lesson #3: When it rains, it pours.
      Anyway, about a month after he left, I found out I was
      pregnant, about three months along, and with twins, no less. Heh, It
      definitely wasn't my year. So there I was dumped and pregnant with
      twins. I had no earthly idea where Logan was, how to get a hold of
      him, or if I really even wanted to. At first I guess I thought that
      his impeccable timing would kick in and that he'd ride in on that
      proverbial white horse (albeit a little tarnished) and save me, but
      alas it was not to be. Instead Scott Summers elected himself my
      I was not amused. I had enough problems to deal with without
      the Fearless leader being stuck up my ass. Amazingly instead of
      getting on my nerves by constantly telling me what to do, he just
      quietly started helping me pick up the mess I'd made of my life. He
      never judged me. Boy, some of my friends did though. Between Jubilee
      and Bobby, I was told plenty how stupid I was for ever getting with
      Logan in the first place.
      Over the course of my pregnancy, Scott was there every single
      step of the way. He was there for everything from Doctor's visits,
      to picking out the colors of the nursery, to picking out baby names.
      I think that he was just as excited as I was about the impending
      arrival of the babies.
      I'm not really sure when it changed from him being my
      teacher, leader, and friend, into being just Scott, the guy who I
      happened to be falling for. Of course what business did a pregnant
      girl have falling for anyone, most especially Scott? What is my
      thing with older men anyway? So I did the only thing I could do at
      the time, ignored my budding feelings, praying that they would go
      With the birth of the twins coming closer, there were a lot
      of concerns about my mutation. Apparently my body was accepting the
      babies as part of itself at the time, but Doctor McCoy was unsure as
      to whether my mutation would activate during child birth. A c-section
      was discussed in great detail, but after Scott and I weighed the
      pro's and con's we decided that we wanted to treat this as normally
      as possible, and that we'd cross that bridge when we came to it.
      At that point Dr. McCoy and Professor Xavier suggested that I
      may want to think about giving my children up for adoption, as I was
      so young and had my entire future in front of me. I don't think that
      I've ever been so angry. I know that is the first time I've ever seen
      Scott so angry. I really thought he was going to peg them with an eye
      beam. With everyone so against me raising these children, it came as
      a some surprise to me that Scott supported me 100%. I shouldn't have
      been though. Scott had helped me make all the decisions almost from
      the very moment that I discovered I was pregnant, so I guess he felt
      very attached already. I just didn't know how attached at the time.
      Then suddenly they were here. I went through natural
      childbirth, which ended up in me finding the 'switch' to my mutation.
      It was 30 hours of pure hell, but it was the most amazing thing in
      the world to hold my two sons for the first time. Scott was there
      throughout the whole ordeal, well mostly, he passed out once the
      first baby came, and he seen blood. Funny how a man can be pretty
      much a professional soldier, but pass out during child birth.
      The look on Scott's face when he first held my sons is one
      that I will never in a million years forget. It was full of awe and
      love. I knew at that moment, that I had fallen completely, head over
      heels in love with this wonderful man who supported me when no one
      else did, and when he looked down at me the love that shone so
      obviously for my children, shone just as bright for me. It felt so
      right having him there, that Logan was barely a thought in my mind.
      We ended up choosing the names Michael Israel and Raphael Isaiah. I
      named them after the Archangel's one a patron of soldiers and one a
      patron of healers. Though I never told Scott, they were named for
      Logan's contradictory, but complimentary mutations.
      Throughout that first year of diapers and 2am feedings, no
      one had time to think of Logan, where Logan might be, or what he
      would think of having two sons. Scott was always there lending a
      helping hand. He was dependable and loyal, sexy and at times
      incredibly infuriating. When the Michael and Raphael were 6 months
      old, Scott told me that he was falling in love with me and that he
      wanted a relationship with me. I told him I wasn't ready for another
      relationship, and he said he'd wait until the twins' birthday before
      asking me again.
      Before I knew it or was ready for it, the twins' first
      birthday had rolled along. Two days before, I had left the twins in
      Scott's care and went off to think. It was then that I realized that
      I'd grown up a lot in the last year, and that maybe, just maybe Scott
      and I could make this work. Really, we already were in a
      relationship, just without the sex.
      Still, I took a lot of time just to weigh the differences
      between Scott and Logan. I still loved Logan, but I also loved Scott.
      Despite all the fantasies I had built around Logan, I could never
      quite picture myself growing old with him, whereas with Scott, I
      could see sharing that with him. With Logan my love was all-
      consuming, completely out of control. With Scott, I had this bone-
      deep feeling of rightness, my love wasn't something I had to control,
      it was simply there, but there was still some major physical
      On the day of the twins' birthday, after all the party things
      were put away, and Scott and I were alone, it was time for the final
      decision. And after all the weighing and the thinking that had left
      me confused and uncertain, I found that when he looked into my eyes,
      the decision was already made. It had been a year ago when he held
      Michael and Raphael for the very first time. Not too many times in
      life are you offered love, and I was not about to let it slip through
      my fingers, because after all the pain, I didn't regret loving Logan,
      who was at turns my savior, my friend, and my lover. Logan gave me
      two gorgeous sons, and the chance to fall in love with the person
      that was already who I needed him to be.
      Scott and I didn't wait very long after starting a
      relationship, only about 2 months, to cement it with the bond of
      marriage. I'm now expecting our third child, and Scott is just as
      excited as he was about the boys, who are still the light of his
      The only real sadness in our personal lives, as our
      professional one is always fraught with difficulty, is that our
      friend and mentor, Charles Xavier is declining in health due to a
      stroke. Logan still doesn't know that he fathered two children, but
      I imagine he will soon, since the Professor has called all his X-men

      End Act 1