- Apr 1, 2001Title: Trust
Rated: I guess NC-17
Summary: Logan is left behind for a mission, along with someone else.
WARNING: SLASH! Semi non-con sex.
Authors note: Alright, this is my first ACTUAL attempt at something serious,
AND slash. So, please, be kind. I'll give you chocolate!
He left me like I was a nothin'. Just did his business and pushed me
away. Was it really worth it, to try and please the unappeasable? I feel so
dirty now... All he wanted was a cheep fuck. All I wanted was to have his
smell not only around me, but in me. Over me. Everywhere. Now I don't want
none of it. I never knew I could cry ... until now. It trickles down my face,
leaving a trail of salty goodness. Yeah, it makes me feel a little better,
but I'll never be completely okay.
It was all so simple. They were on a mission and they didn't need me,
for once. Stormy took control, sayin' slim here needed a break. The guy
actually agreed. I didn't know what he had in mind at the time. Now I wish I
I sat in my room listening to good ol' country. Really not listenin'
to it, just relaxing and letting the music take me away. Just as I was
actually 'bout ta drift off into a, for once, peaceful sleep, he knocked on
the door. I told him ta go away, but he's a persistent little shit.
I always thought he was attractive, in a weird way. I have a thing for
younger guys. Don't know what it was about him in particular. He was just
him. Beautiful, brave, and oozing with masculinity. And that smell of his...
I always loved the spicy apple smell, but it fitted with him best.
I started thinking about that as he sat on the foot of my bed. I
didn't realize until then that he was only wearing some sweats. God he looked
good in those. He was sayin' somethin' 'bout chemistry, and the next thing I
know, he was rubbin' me up. I didn't know what ta think. I mean, I always
imagined this. Hoping for it, but never thought...
Maybe that was my problem. I didn't think. I just turned to clay in
his hands, letting him do as he pleased. Funny though, I was told that the
clay told the potter what to shape. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I just gave
him the idea that it was okay. Maybe...
I never knew what it felt like, having another man kiss you. It kinda
just happened. Didn't even realize it happened until it was almost over. My
mind spun with uncertainty and ecstasy. I pulled him closer to me, wordlessly
begging for more. But he refused, started pulling at my shirt. I let it slid
off of me without resistance. He kissed my neck, letting me feel his warmth.
Then without a word, he undid my pants. I was never so scared in my life. I'd
never done this, not with a man. But it felt so right at the time. He let his
hand glide across my length. That's when I noticed the bulge in his sweats
growing. He stood up and slid them off, leaving them on the floor as if it
He brandished in his hand a tube. It didn't take me long ta figure out
what it was. He let some ooze onto his open hand, and greased the length of
his cock. Then he told me to turn over, so I did. He straddled my thighs, and
pushed a single finger into my opening. It didn't hurt so bad, thought it
would hurt much more. He skipped using two fingers, and used three. That's
when I felt some pain. Not a lot, but enough ta make me wince a bit. He
kissed the back of my neck in response, as if that would make it any better.
Then he took out his fingers, and replaced it with his cock. He didn't
let me get settled 'round him first, he just pushed all the way in and
started pumping. He got a rhythm of his own, not paying attention to any of
my whimpers of pain. I even tried telling him right out to stop, that I
wasn't likin' this. But he didn't listen, just kept goin'.
He erupted a torrent of hot stickiness into me. It didn't feel right.
He pulled out of me, but he was still in me. And I couldn't get rid of him,
not for a while at least. And it hurt, to move, to breathe, even to close my
eyes. It took all of my strength to just turn over an' face him. He didn't
have that decency though, he just picked up his sweats and left.
I've never felt so wrong. Sure, my body's healed from it, but not my
mind. Not my soul. Aren't you supposed to trust some people? He was one of
those people, but he betrayed me. I'll never trust anyone else. Not after
this. Another tear, damn. I better straighten out before everyone gets back.
No one'll want to see it, or believe what happened. They still trust him.
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