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1192FF "Night: Decisions" (1/1) PG-13 [Logan]

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  • Elizabeth Wilde
    Nov 2, 2000
    • 0 Attachment
      Author: Elizabeth Wilde
      Title: Night: Decisions
      Series: Phases: Time of Day
      Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks,
      http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html [my site]
      Disclaimer: I don�t own the X-Men or �Hidden Sun� by
      Barenaked Ladies.
      'Ship: none, hints of Logan/Rogue
      Classification: angst
      Summary: Logan considers returning to the school and
      what it could mean.
      Rating: PG-13
      Spoilers: none
      Feedback: to wilde_moon@...
      Notes: The graphic for this story can be found at
      http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/night.html

      Shivering madly in the dark
      Like an animal abandoned in the car park
      And she held me and then she showed me
      The beauty of the human heart.

      I thought it would feel a lot better being on my own
      again. Alone is my natural state. I don't need
      anybody. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.
      I go to a different town and a different bar every
      night and I fight and I maim and I drink enough to
      make any normal man pass out a few times over and none
      of it means a damn thing.

      The whole time I'm tearing up whatever loser is dumb
      enough to get in my way, I'm thinking about that time
      I didn't, that time when some little girl with big
      brown eyes that made her look like a deer caught in
      the headlights convinced me without a word to let a
      punk brawler and some ignorant old barkeep live just a
      little while longer, to walk away. I'm Wolverine. I
      don't walk away from fights. But I did for her,
      because I didn't want some innocent little kid seeing
      what I do to people.

      Problem is, I did it to her too. Maybe I never meant
      to, but I did it. I don't just mean shoving my claws
      through her chest, either, even thought I can still
      see the shock on her face when I close my eyes, feel
      the gentle pressure of those deadly fingers on my
      cheek. I mean the way I left. She had some damn kind
      of crush on me and it scared me. The hero worship in
      her eyes when she looked at me scared me too. I
      didn't deserve any of it, not from a nice girl like
      Marie.

      It was easier to leer at Jean. She's all grown up.
      She can take care of herself. Besides, with her I
      can't care too much because I can't get close enough.
      She's with Scott and she always will be unless
      something happens to one of them. They love each
      other, and that isn't going to change. But flirting
      with Jean was easy.

      Now here I am driving down the road in the middle of
      nowhere thinking about the kid. Well, not in the
      middle of nowhere, either. For the past five years,
      I've been traveling in a slowly shrinking circle
      that's taking me straight back to Westchester if I
      don't do something about it. I should stop and really
      think about this, but I've spent five years trying not
      to think, and making my brain do much more than react
      is more effort than I'm up to.

      I'm not sure how I can go back after five years. I
      can't even begin to think what might have changed.
      Hell, maybe Scott's got a personality now. Maybe
      Jean'll be ready to throw herself into my arms and
      ride off into the sunset. Maybe Marie won't be a kid
      anymore.

      THE END

      =====
      Catch Your Breath [my index site] ~ http://www.catchyourbreath.net

      "We've always been ready for female superheroes because women want to be them and men want to do them." -Famke Janssen

      "Rogue, please. I like you. Don't make me stab you to death with a plastic hanger." ~from Dyce's fic 'The Godless Among Them'

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