Why Neocons Wont Back Down
- Why Neoconservatives Won't Back Down
by Karen Kwiatkowski
Homer Simpson is known, among other things, for his schemes. Often, as
the situation deteriorated, his schemes got crazier and his hold on
ground truth more wobbly.
Rube Goldberg-style, the neoconservatives are offering a superior
solution than solemn statesmen, grieved parents, and American
(small-r) republicans. They will not be bested by famous cartoon
characters. They aim to win in Iraq, no matter how may steps it takes.
In fact, the more steps, the better!
I think I understand it now. Neocons worship a god named Homer
Simpson. Their Holy Ghost is Rube Goldberg, and the Son I'm guessing
here must be Chaos.
Jude Wanniski asks "when will the pundits apologize?" When will they
admit their mistakes and grave errors to the families of the dead on
all sides and to the people of America? Homer Simpson answers for
them, "I don't apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that's the way I am." And
so it is with the neoconservatives who clamored for war and cakewalks
and slam-dunks. You will hear the inconsistency in their voices. You
will see their pain in the Sunday morning talk shows. But you will
never hear those responsible for designing a flawed policy in the
Middle East, destroying the U.S. Army and its Guard and Reserve
system, and Iraq as a nation ever say they're sorry.
Cindy Sheehan asks our president, who is looking more and more in dire
need of a donut and a coffee break, for what noble purpose her son,
and nearly 2,000 other American sons and daughters have died over the
past two and a half years of combat in Iraq.
But take a moment to remember. Congress never declared war. The
military is conducting an occupation complete with prisons and torture
and punitive annihilation of Iraqi cities on behalf of a republic?
Why, of course not. The war is for the unstated desires and
justifications known to the heads of the American empire, and they
answer to no one. However, perhaps she can find comfort in Homer's
words, "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"
Urged by neoconservative ravings of Pentagon appointees, the
administration, and several major national newspapers and TV stations,
Republicans and Democrats alike trumpeted and brayed the false
rationale for the Iraq invasion in 2002 and 2003. Neither party
challenged the President's agenda, or the Pentagon's plan, or its lack
of a plan. Like bouncy but brain-dead cheerleaders, they jostled,
competing to be heard screaming "War, War, War!"
Today, while Cindy Sheehan clearly and correctly calls the President a
liar, CNN and Fox attempt unsuccessfully to get any member of
Congress, Democrat or Republican, to themselves say that the President
lied. What is so hard about that! He lied, they lied, Congress was
lied to, plus the mainstream media transmitted the lies to the rest of
us with nary a whisper of doubt. It was a veritable liefest, a flood
of falsehoods, a barrage of bull. The legacy of those lies is lived by
soldiers in Iraq, every member of the military and the intelligence
community, all of Washington, and throughout our nation today.
Why can no one admit the lies, even now? Homer again, is wise. "Marge,
it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." All participants
So, what are we going to do now in the Middle East? Many in the
antiwar movement and in various political parties that embrace the
Constitution are actively working and praying for wisdom to prevail in
Washington, and for peace to prevail in places where Americans find
themselves. They want us out of Iraq now, and in the Middle East by
But the neoconservatives are not working in this direction. Huddled
over their nascent machine, they worry that (barring martial law and a
suspension of presidential elections in 2008) their time is running
out. They worry that their Great Leader (or Great Puppet, depending on
your perception) and his party will be ejected, and the successor
party will be either split, or at least too substantially troubled by
what 20 years of pitiful post-Cold War leadership in Washington has
wrought to "stay the course."
Reality is clear enough for those of us who operate in the
reality-based world. Charley Reese nailed it in his article about a
united Iraq as a Western joke. Stan Goff nailed it with his exit
strategy. But for busy neoconservatives, a Goldberg winning plan is in
We've all heard that Dick Cheney has called for the nuking of Iran in
response to any big attack on America (I hope it won't be Hurricane
Katrina and her impact on Gulf of Mexico pumping and refining
operations!). Now, that "plan" might seem the epitome of simplicity, a
case of Occam's Razor versus Rube Goldberg. Not to mention incredibly
stupid. But consider this
As Charley Reese and many others have correctly observed, Iraq as a
U.S. controlled entity, is in dire straits and tanking. The concept
was flawed from the beginning; disunity and conflict are aggravated by
the ongoing theft of both U.S. and Iraqi resources by favored U.S.
perps and the remnants of Jerry Bremer's bureaucrats. Iraqi rage is
fueled by the persistent lack of electricity, clean water or jobs they
face in most of their post-liberation towns and cities
Homer Simpson explains this aspect of neoconservatism in Iraq as well.
"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was
just sitting in some guy's boat!"
But seriously, what is it that can politically unify a country? Think
hard, people! A common enemy. Saddam Hussein was the master of this
political construct, first with Iran, and later with the United
States. Even a doltish neoconservative can see that it wouldn't be in
their interest for the Iraqi "unifying enemy" to be the United States
and the past two and a half years in Iraq shows this as the one true
thing we have accomplished.
That leaves Iran, the real obsession of academics, evangelicals, and
pundits who embrace neoconservatism over republicanism or
constitutional democracy. Just think! The United States charges into
Iran, and Iraqis unite with the enemy of their enemy, and we get a new
mass state construct that allows unrestrained U.S. interference into
the politics and finances of Iraq, justifies continued radical
expansion of the DoD, intelligence and Homeland Defense budgets and
influence, and makes use of those big new bases Halliburton and
Bechtel built in Iraq! Plus, another patriotic "war" might help shut
up the local dissidents (all 58% of them!)
Astute readers will be able to successfully challenge my assumptions,
my logic, and my morality in proposing such a scheme. But the neocons
don't apologize, they don't care, and they don't operate in our
See you in Iran.
August 30, 2005
Karen Kwiatkowski, Ph.D. is a retired USAF lieutenant colonel, who
spent her final four and a half years in uniform working at the
Pentagon. She lives with her freedom-loving family in the Shenandoah
Valley, and among other things, writes a bi-weekly column on defense
issues with a libertarian perspective for militaryweek.com.
Copyright © 2005 LewRockwell.com
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