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Wrestling-Online Newsletter #2252

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  • Colin Vassallo
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      ====================================================
      Friday June 2nd 2006 Issue #2252
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      Visit our website at http://www.wrestling-online.com
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      //->> OPENING WORDS FROM THE EDITOR
      Colin Vassallo -[editor@...]-

      Nothing to say today. Back tomorrow.


      ===========================================================
      Order the 3-disc WrestleMania 22 on DVD. Available now!
      http://www.wrestlingmegastore.com
      ===========================================================


      //->> WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
      Web version at -[http://www.wrestling-online.com/news%5d-


      > WRECKLESS INTENT ALBUM DEBUTS IN 8TH PLACE
      - The latest WWE album 'Wreckless Intent' which has a compilation of
      Superstars' themes performed by some of the best-known artists today debuted
      in the 8th position on the Billboard Top 200 chart. There is also a
      promotion with the CD titled 'WWE Gold Ticket', where a lucky fan will be
      able to attend SummerSlam in Boston, MA., live in person. Columbia Records
      sent a press release about the album and autograph signings which you can
      read at http://www.wrestling-online.com/news/article_5309.shtml
      - [Discuss: http://www.wrestling-online.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=2783]


      > RAW RATING
      - RAW on Monday received a 3.8 rating with a 5.9 share off hours 3.5 and
      4.0. That is the same number as last week and pretty good for a show that
      falls on a national holiday. AM Raw in the weekend did a 1.0 with a 4.5
      share. (Ratings compiled by Nielsen Media Research and put online by
      PWInsider.com)
      - [Discuss: http://www.wrestling-online.com/boards/%5d


      > UNFORGIVEN PPV IN TORONTO
      - WWE today announced that the Unforgiven pay-per-view on Sunday September
      17th will be held at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. The PPV is a
      RAW brand show. Tickets go on sale on Saturday July 7th at 10AM EST on
      Ticketmaster.ca or else by calling on 416-870-8000 to charge by phone.
      - [Discuss: http://www.wrestling-online.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=2788]


      > SMACKDOWN! PREVIEW
      - The following matches have been taped for tonight's Smackdown! on UPN.
      Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio; Nunzio vs Matt Hardy; Jillian Hall vs Kristal;
      Paul Burchill vs Mark Henry; Caden Matthews vs Finlay; Booker T vs Bobby
      Lashley.
      - [Discuss: http://www.wrestling-online.com/boards/%5d


      > STOCKS
      - Stocks are currently trading at 18.39 at time of this writing, a 1.45%
      increase over the previous closing. The day's range so far has been 18.05 -
      18.50.
      - [Discuss: http://www.wrestling-online.com/boards/%5d


      ===========================================================


      //->> RAW TAWK
      By Ginger -[GLRSS@...]-


      There's nothing like a hometown house show to coax a column out of your Old
      Auntie Ginger!

      That's right, last Sunday, May 28, 2006, RAW Superstars made their way to
      humble little Yakima, Washington. And, while I may not have had a seat
      front and center, I did manage to nab three tickets (for myself, my son,
      Joey and his friend, James) in the fourth row, East floor, three, four and
      five seats from the right aisle! (By the way, I owe a debt of gratitude to
      W-O Reader - and fellow Washingtonian - my buddy Marc, for giving me the
      heads up about RAW touring through Washington State. I had NO idea until
      you e-mailed me and I owe the fact that I got good seats to your alert.
      Sorry I didn't thank you privately, but I'm sort of infamous for being the
      CRAPPIEST e-mail answerer-backer who's ever had Internet access. I'm bad -
      but you're not! THANK YOU!!! And, I hope you got good seats for RAW in
      Tacoma!)

      So anyway, since we're here, I might as well tell you about that house show,
      right?

      First of all, I'd like to express my disappointment in the fact that
      Jonathan Coachman did not make an appearance. What, just because you've
      been appointed as Mr. McMahon's EXECutive ASSistant, you think you're too
      good for towns with a population under 100,000? Well, Justin Roberts is
      cute but, the Coach he ain't!

      And, while we're discussing disappointment, I was once again doomed to be
      seated near a person who, because he enjoys hitting all the Internet
      wrestling sites, has decided he needs to educate all the less fortunate
      wrestling fans - you know, the ones who have lives other than hitting all
      the Internet wrestling sites - regarding what's REALLY going on in the world
      of Sports Entertainment. For example, he was explaining to the gentleman
      seated to his left that RAW is taped two weeks ahead so that they'll always
      have shows in the can when they travel overseas. (I wonder if the guy two
      seats down from me happened to hear that conversation? Probably not, since
      I saw him on TV in the front row at RAW from Tacoma the very next night!
      Well, either the wanna-be "Wrestling Super Genius" sitting directly behind
      me was wrong about that pre-taped RAW thingy. . .or that guy sitting two
      chairs to my right KNOWS THE SECRETS OF TIME TRAVEL!!!) The thing that
      ticks me off about these "Know-It-Alls" is not the fact that they don't know
      everything there is to know about wrestling. . .heck, even *I* don't know
      EVERYTHING. . .and I really **AM** a Wrestling Super Genius!!! (Seriously,
      I am.) No, what bothers me is that they tell you what they think they know
      and they do it like they're stating facts. I guess lots of people are
      guilty of doing that - not just wrestling fans. But I'd rather sound
      wishy-washy by saying things like "I think" or "I heard," rather than making
      a jackass out of myself by saying something that can be proven untrue so
      easily.

      Ahem. . .sorry!

      The only other thing I feel the need to complain about at this time is the
      fact that I found out - much too late - that I could have brought a decent
      camera to the show. In the past, the only cameras allowed at SunDome shows
      have been those of the disposable variety. Anyone who has been to a WWE
      event knows, if you buy them at the show, they gouge you for fifteen bucks a
      pop. So, as soon as I knew we'd be going, I picked up two double packs of
      disposable cameras at our friendly neighborhood Wal*Mart for a grand total
      of $14. (What a bargain!) Once we got inside, I discovered that more than
      half the audience had camera phones - and the rest of them had digital
      cameras! That was a BIG no-no before. I guess it's just too difficult the
      control now, since most cell phones have cameras and so many digital cameras
      are small enough to hide easily. Hopefully next time WWE comes to town,
      I'll be able to take some pictures worth uploading!

      Before the first contest, referee Mike Chioda entered the ring.
      Interestingly enough, a good natured guy in the second row had a sign which
      read "Mike Chioda Sucks." Mike saw the sign and got a big kick out of it.
      I don't think I've ever seen somebody so happy to be told that he sucked
      before! What a guy!

      First match - Carlito vs. RVD vs. Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental
      Title!!! Obviously, Shelton retained his title, but not before his
      opponents proved that championship gold does not necessarily make one
      popular. Prior to the match getting underway, Carlito and Rob took turns
      standing on the ropes in various corners of the ring, much to the thunderous
      delight of the fans. Then, after being challenged to do the same, Shelton
      would approach the corner himself, only to be booed back to last Tuesday!
      Overall, the match was probably my second favorite of the night - or maybe
      my VERY favorite - with crisp choreography, just the right amount of
      slapstick and - of course - daring feats of extreme athleticism. Yes, I
      love Carlito and RVD, but it's kind of sad to see the glowing talent of
      Shelton Benjamin overshadowed by the fact that he's not a fan favorite. I
      guess that's the cross a heel has to bear, but still. . .

      Match number two was a tag team contest pitting Lance Cade and the ever
      handsome Trevor Murdoch against a couple of newcomers - Robbie and Rory
      MacAlister, The Highlanders. (Actually, after doing a little searching, I
      guess The Highlanders aren't exactly NEW to WWE, but this is the first time
      I personally remember having seen them, so they're new to me!) There was a
      rather large gentleman sitting in front of me and, throughout the night, he
      proved to be nearly as entertaining as some of the entertainers - and quite
      annoying to the performers, I'm sure! His voice was as big as the rest of
      him and it was easy to hear him booming over the rest of the crowd. His
      chant of choice during our first tag match of the evening? Why, "Brokeback
      Mountain," of course! Lance Cade in particular seemed inordinately offended
      - and even somewhat distracted - by the shouts of my fellow audience member.
      Cade became so incensed at one point that Trevor Murdoch had to calm him
      down the only way he knew how. . .with a tender embrace. (And yes, the
      audience did say "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!") Considering that most of us didn't
      know The Highlanders from Adam (. . .and Eve?) when they made their
      entrance, they seemed to get over pretty quickly. Of course, considering
      who their opponents were, I guess that's not too surprising! (If I may
      insert a personal comment - and I may, since this IS my column - I found
      myself inexorably drawn to one Robbie MacAlister. The only reason I can
      come up with is that, with his long hair and scruffy beard. . .he reminded
      me of Chris Jericho back in the bad-beard days. ~Sniff~ Yes, I really do
      miss Jericho THAT DAMN BAD!!! Oh, and he had powerful calves, too. YUMMY!)
      The good guys won.

      For a break in the wrestling action, Matt Striker came out to do an
      interview. He fooled us for a moment. . .he came out all hand-slappin'
      happy and friendly with the fans. . .we thought perhaps he had changed his
      evil ways. But, he showed his true colors when, during his interview with
      the legendary Hacksaw Jim Duggan, he dissed our town AND our troops! My
      noisy neighbor suggested that Hacksaw use his trademark two-by-four to make
      a Striker-cicle (boy, did THAT get the former teacher's attention!) and,
      while that wasn't quite the end result, Hacksaw did teach Matt a lesson he
      won't soon forget! Until the next house show, anyway. . .

      The next match was a double treat. First out was Rob "How Did I Not Notice
      How Hot This Guy Was Until After La Resistance" Conway. HUBBA F'N HUBBA!!!
      (Sorry. . .) His opponent was Harry Smith. Yes, THAT Harry Smith. The
      young Canadian beat Robaire's arse. . .and for that, I'm jealous. . .

      Well, I got my eye candy, so the next match was for the boys. I can only be
      grateful that what was supposed to be a tag team bra and panties match was
      downgraded (or upgraded, depending on which way you look at it) to just a
      regular old divas tag team contest. The match featured Torrie Wilson (with
      no Chloe, by the way. . .I guess the dog is too good for Yakima, too!) and
      Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James and Victoria.

      Picture this. . .my thirteen-year-old son and his thirteen-year-old friend
      are making signs before the show. Just minutes before we're getting ready
      to leave, Joey's friend, James, comes up with an idea for a sign especially
      for the Divas. He runs the idea - and the spelling - by me. He wants to
      use one of ButtHead's famous lines, "Hey Bebe, Wanna Do It?" While I was a
      little bothered by the sexual content, I figured it was probably no more
      offensive than the Stone Cold foam (middle) finger that Joey loaned him to
      take to the show, so I decided to risk his Mom killing me at a later date
      and let him take the sign. As it turns out, the sign made him sort of
      famous. . . As James proudly held that sign high over his head, Victoria
      spotted it and said to him, "Oh, that's REAL classy!" Yeah, she may have
      been sarcastic (whether in character or out, I'm not sure), but I don't
      think James' feet have touched the ground since! (The boy got noticed by a
      WWE Diva - how many of you can say the same?!?) The match did not suck, and
      Torrie and Beth won.

      Match six was Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada - HAHA!) vs. Eugene.
      Our special friend provided us with much comic relief prior to the match by
      leaving the ring area to go back toward the bleachers where the sound mixer
      guy was. Eugene then proceeded to play the entrance music for such absent
      Superstars as Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and ~sniff~ Chris Jericho. Endearing
      though he may be, the biggest laughs of this match were thanks to Armando.
      The dude is hilarious - television does not do him justice. But, for all
      that, the last laugh went to Umaga. He not only won the match, but he also
      held his own against Viscera, who came out to save Eugene from a post-match
      beat down. Eugene may not have won the match, but he was rewarded for his
      cuteness by a little girl at ringside who gave him a stuffed, pink puppy.
      Say it with me, folks. . .AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

      The semi-main (do they still call 'em that?) was a tag team title match,
      pitting the champion Spirit Squad against Gene Snitsky and Goldust. We all
      know who won the match. . .I mean, this WAS a house show, for Heaven's sake!
      So, rather than results, I'll just fill space with a comment or two.
      Firstly, I know this is not a popular opinion, but I kind of like the Spirit
      Squad! The gimmick may be iffy, but it's better than some that we've seen
      recently. Plus, the guys are fairly gifted wrestlers and they're frickin'
      FUNNY!!! How can you watch their entrance graphics and NOT laugh?
      Especially at Nicky. . .he's demented! That guy sitting in front of me
      caught Johnny lurking around the ring, looking for an opportunity to
      interfere on behalf of the teammates actually involved in the match and
      shouted "Johnny!" in a Spirit Squad-esque manner. Johnny must have been
      caught off guard, because he actually laughed! The most disturbing part of
      the match was when I was looking at Snitsky while he was standing outside
      the ropes and actually found myself attracted to him for a brief, sickening
      moment. Again, I blame it on Jericho. As much as I hated it when he
      allowed his chin hair to get unruly, that out of control, upside down Chia
      Pet sprouting out of Snitsky's lower face reminded me of my long-lost Y2J.
      GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, WOMAN!!!

      The final match of the evening was to be a cage match. Imagine our surprise
      when we arrived at the SunDome only to find NO cage hanging over the ring!
      As it turns out - I'm assuming since our dome isn't quite as large as those
      in big cities - they had to assemble the cage around the ring, rather than
      lowering it from the ceiling. During the brief intermission, my beloved son
      went to the ShopZone area and bought me a Carlito necklace. Bless his
      little heart!

      Okay. . .the cage has been assembled and it's the moment we've all been
      waiting for. (Or at least the moment your Auntie Ginger has been waiting
      for!) "You Think You Know Me. . ." It's Edge (with Lita, naturally), here
      to challenge John Cena for the WWE Championship. Again, who are they trying
      to fool? It's a house show and we know that no titles will be changing
      hands. However, it's not every day that you get to watch a cage match from
      right up close. Plus, seeing Edge in person is never a bad thing. Hell, he
      needn't have even wrestled. He could have just stood on the ring steps in
      front of me for twenty minutes or so and I would have just daydreamed my
      heart out until there was no drool left in me. As it was, he stood there
      long enough for me to snap three pictures. (I'd be tempted to post them at
      my website for everyone to enjoy but, as you read earlier, I only had a
      crappy little disposable camera so the pictures I got, while good enough for
      happy memories, are hardly worthy of sharing with the rest of the planet.)

      Into every life a little regret must fall. I opted not to make any signs on
      this particular night - partially because I couldn't think of anything
      clever enough. Then, as Edge stood before me, these words popped into my
      head - "Rated R Rasslin' Fan!" Well, it may not be the most inspired thing
      I've ever come up with (My personal favorite of all the signs I've taken to
      shows is the one I made during Stone Cold's guitar strumming, McMahon
      hugging, Kumbaya singing, sensitive period which read, "Austin 3:16 Says, I
      Need A Hug!"), but anyone out there who likes it can feel free to use it
      with my blessing, since I missed my opportunity!

      Oh! And in my excitement about Edge, I completely forgot to mention that
      Ricky Steamboat was the special guest referee! Not too shabby, eh?

      So, like I said, Edge's opponent for the evening was "The Champ," John Cena.
      I don't care for Cena's gimmick much, but I *do* like him and was pleased to
      hear that the rest of Yakima seemed to like him, as well. No big boos like
      you hear for him on TV most of the time lately.

      The only real damper to the evening occurred when Cena tossed his hat out
      into the audience as a souvenir for some lucky fan. Lucky? Ha! It
      actually wouldn't have been out of the realm of possibility that I could
      have snagged it for my very own. (Or, more likely, for JOEY's very own!)
      However, I value my life and limbs far too much to engage in wrestling for
      ShopZone gear. As it was, without even moving in the hat's general
      direction, people jostling to position themselves under the prize trod on my
      toes a bit. Then, the guy directly to my right fell gut first over the back
      of the chair in front of him (can you say OUCH!?!) and I saw a couple of
      other people in that same area hit the floor. It was a little chaotic for a
      moment or two but, when the dust cleared, I found out that the guy sitting
      one row ahead and three chairs to my right had claimed the hat and put it on
      his head, only to have some guy in a yellow shirt snatch it and run away.
      Makes you kind of wish they'd just quit throwing crap into the crowd, huh?

      Now, on to less violent things. . .like a steel cage match. . .

      The most memorable moment of the match itself, in my opinion, was when Edge
      was trying to escape from the cage and, while pulling him down, Cena ended
      up exposing most of his Canadian Caboose. Lucky for me, Edge was so busy
      defending himself, it took him a couple of minutes to pull his pants back
      up. (Sigh) Lita is such a lucky girl! (Not only that, but Lita is also a
      TINY girl! I've never seen her so close up before. She's not short, but
      she looks so small-boned in person, like her little wrists might break if
      you handle them too roughly. I happen to have small bones myself, and you
      won't catch me letting a great big guy throw me around! I was actually a
      little afraid for her when Cena gave her the F-U for interfering in the
      match a little later on!)

      After taking a sound thrashing at the hands of Master Thug-O, Edge slunk off
      to the back to let Cena bask in the glory of the generous applause of his
      legion of Yakima fans.

      All in all, my latest house show adventure was a good one. Besides Jericho,
      the only other person I'm really sorry wasn't there was Triple H. Say what
      you will about Hunter, but he's one funny bast. . .uh, guy. The cool thing
      about house shows is that, with no TV cameras to worry about, the guys let
      their guard down a bit and break character from time to time. Triple H in
      particular shines at house shows and isn't afraid to make a bit of a fool of
      himself to get laughs from the crowd.

      Before I go, I'd like to thank all of your for reading and I'd especially
      like to thank those of you who have taken the time to write me with feedback
      for my previous columns. I feel like total crap that I haven't written back
      to most of you. I've read every single one of your comments and appreciate
      them so much. I'd like to say that I'll be back next week or that I'll be
      writing on a more regular schedule again, but I can't promise that. I
      haven't been watching wrestling as religiously as I used to and, when I do
      watch, I'm not all that inspired to write anymore. Not that I never will be
      again, but who knows? I just appreciate the fact that those of you who
      enjoy my columns are happy when you see my byline. And I'm also very
      grateful to my editor, Colin, for keeping my spot open so that, when
      inspiration *does* strike, I have an outlet for it! And I'm also glad to
      see that a couple of new columnists have been added to the Wrestling-Online
      roster to fill up that space under the news! Sorry I haven't said it sooner
      but, Welcome!

      With that, I'll leave you with a few points to ponder. . .

      - How come we can all hear the voices in Kane's head?

      - And, wouldn't it have been funny if "Fake Kane" had been played by Kevin
      Nash?

      - Where did Torrie Wilson find a Tigger outfit for her puppy?

      - Why does Vince McMahon insist on forcing Lita to wear such modest
      clothing?

      - What kind of a name for a Spirit Squad member is "Mitch?" Shouldn't it be
      "Mitchie?"

      Until next time -


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