Wrestling-Online Newsletter #2108
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Tuesday November 1st 2005 Issue #2108
Visit our website at http://www.wrestling-online.com
//->> OPENING WORDS FROM THE EDITOR
Colin Vassallo -[editor@...]-
It's quite an eventful week so far if you work at WWE, especially in
Enjoy the PPV tonight, at least there will be someone who knows the
moves calling the shots on the mic, so that's a plus.
The Self Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior
Get the DVD now!
//->> WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
Web version at -[http://www.wrestling-online.com/news%5d-
> TABOO TUESDAY TONIGHT- Tonight live on pay-per-view, WWE and RAW present the second annual
Taboo Tuesday interactive pay-per-view. The card is as follows: John
Cena vs Kurt Angle vs either Big show, Kane or Shawn Michaels; Edge &
Chris Masters vs two from Christian, JBL, Rey Mysterio, Hardcore Holly
or Matt Hardy; Ric Flair vs Triple H; Batista vs Jonathan Coachman;
Carlito vs Mick Foley; Diva Battle Royal; Eugene & either Jim Duggan,
Jimmy Snuka or Kamala vs Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko; and Cade & Murdoch vs
either Big Show/Kane, Big Show/HBK or HBK/Kane. Fans will be voting for
stipulations on all matches and they will not be revealed until before
the actual matches.
> JOEY STYLES DOING COMMENTARY TONIGHT- WWE.COM announced that Joey Styles has arrived at the site of
tonight's pay-per-view, the IpayOne Center in San Diego, CA. The website
has an image on the front page of Styles exiting the limousine in front
of the arena accompanied by an interview that Styles did moments after a
meeting with WWE officials. With The Coach being occupied in a match,
play by play duties had to be given to somebody and Styles was the man
that got the call to go along Jerry 'The King' Lawler. When asked why he
thinks they called him, Styles was not shy for firing the most
appropriate answer. "Im sure the decision to call me was made a few
seconds after WWEs original choice realized he didnt know enough about
professional wrestling to fill the shoes of Jim Ross, even for one
night." Styles added that this is another 'one night' only but as you
know in WWE anything can happen. You can read the interview at
> STONE COLD OFF TABOO TUESDAY- Stone Cold Steve Austin has refused to do the job to The Coach after
learning of the plan according to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer
and decided that he no longer wants to be a part of the pay-per-view.
This is the second time Austin walked out when a few years ago he
refused to get beaten by Brock Lesnar in one of the qualifying rounds of
King Of The Ring. Austin was immediately removed from the PPV card for
tonight and replaced by Batista. The Coach/Austin angle was tied to an
angle with Jim Ross returning if Austin wins however no mention was done
yesterday on RAW about it.
> TORRIE WILSON GONE OR NOT? AND CHRISTIAN?- Several industry insiders are reporting that Torrie Wilson has been
let go by the company however WWE.COM is shooting down the rumor saying
that Torrie asked for some time off after returning from the Australian
tour. She was not mentioned on RAW yesterday and will not be
participating at the pay-per-view tonight. Christian was a total pro and
was at RAW yesterday and even at Taboo Tuesday tonight just in case he's
voted for the match. It will be his last day with the company as he quit
> VADER, GOLDUST RETURN- Vader and Goldust made their way back on WWE television yesterday as
part of The Coach's team and will appear tonight on Taboo Tuesday to
face off Batista. The original plan was somewhat different, as Coach was
supposed to introduce the returning Mark Henry as his enforcer in his
match against Steve Austin but after Austin quit, plans changed quickly.
Vader was last seen on WWE TV in October of 1998 while Goldust was last
seen in January of 2004. Goldust's return certainly does not surprise a
lot of people since his dad, Dusty Rhodes, is back with WWE in a
> SMACKDOWN! RATING RISES- Smackdown! received a 2.7 rating with a 4.7 share for Friday's show on
UPN, up 0.2 from last week. (Ratings compiled by Nielsen Media Research
and put online by PWInsider.com).
//->> CLOTHESLINE CITY
By Andrew Bulik -[andrewbulik@...]-
Never fear Clothesline Citizens, the saviour of Wrestling-Online is here
to revitalise this section of the newsletter.
Yeah, I know, this is only about my sixth column of the year, but what
can I say? I'm indifferent to the world of wrestling right now. And I
think it's indicative of the problems facing sports entertainment that
there are few columns actually being written.
It's like banging your head off a brick wall. We write about the crap we
have to suffer from the WWE both on and off screen. Vince continually
makes decisions that alienates die-hards more and more. At the start of
2005, I wasn't too fussed about NWA-TNA, I didn't really care for them.
But now I am rooting for them all the way and watching their shows on
The Wrestling Channel in the UK.
Now TNA is a very watchable programme and they have direction these
days, which is partially why I'm attracted to them, but then I am
getting more interested in the Panda Energy Crew given that the WWE's
programming and politics has become so bloody unbearable.
Case in point. TAFKA The Dudley Boyz. Buh Buh Ray, D-Von and Spike. They
have been forced to reinvent themselves as Team 3-D because the
WWE decided to exercise their rights to the name 'Dudley'. The WWE does
this to 'protect' themselves. This is the same WWE owned by Vince
McMahon who often says 'competition is good for the business'. So what
way is it Vince?
Now I am no legal expert by any stretch of the imagination, but if The
Ultimate Warrior can claim rights to his name, then can't the Dudleys?
Especially as they were going by that name long before they had any
association with the WWF/WWE? I guess not, but I would love it to happen
- stick it right to Vince.
Tell you what else is p**sing me right off just now with the WWE - yeah,
you guessed it - the Juniors Division. Now if these guys were allowed to
strut their stuff in the ring, which I'm sure most can, then I'd be fine
with this division. But no, they are being booked as comic relief. You
know, like Wink, Pink and Dink? Cheezy, Sleazy and Queezy? Like at
WrestleMania III? I didn't find these dudes running around pretending to
be foolish funny back then, so why should I now? I guess the McMahon's
get a kick out of it.
Wait a minute. WWE repeating gimmicks from the past? No, I don't believe
that for a second. But hold on...
John 'Bradshaw' Layfield walking around doing the rich man gimmick.
Abusing staff and shoving his wealthiness down everyone's throats. Now
course, that wouldn't be anything like 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted
DiBiase's gimmick would it. And Orlando Jordan wasn't anything like a
Virgil-in-a-suit type. Even though he pretended to be a boxer type in
Sylvain Grenier is walking around pretending to be a Model. Whoa-oh! Can
you say "Rick Martel"? He was 15 years ahead of you Sly!
Rob Conway is doing a Legend Killer gimmick, now that sounds familiar
doesn't it? We have British 'snobs', Blue Bloods if you will. Legion of
Doom. We have cowboys as tag-team champions. The Boogeyman is like
There just doesn't seem to be a whole lot of originality coming from the
writers. I've said this before but if the stereotypical racial
portrayals were in any other TV show, it would be pulled off the air.
All British guys are snobs. Mexicans, if heels, are shown to be workshy
and lazy - or thieves. Italians, similarly, are portrayed as shady
characters. Japanese are sleekit (Scottish word there, means sneaky).
The French are shown as smarmy and think they are better than everyone.
Seriously, is this 2005 or 1955? I thought we were past all this
xenophobic crap. Jerry Jarrett turned up at Titan Towers this week with
a huge Russian. Hmmm, I wonder what gimmick they will give him...
Incidentally, after Jarrett's stunt this week, if I was a majority
shareholder in TNA I would be looking at every legal avenue in pursuit
of dissolving the Jarrett stake in the company.
I refuse to call the writers the 'creative department' because really,
that's a conflict in terms. Creative my ass. There is so much recycling
of stuff we saw back in the 80's and 90's. Is that because this is the
last time these non-wrestling-fan writers watched sports entertainment?
It certainly seems like that. An example of their best writing is Vince
reenacting a colon operation. That's their best? Oh dear.
Remember the attitude era? Yeah, you do, it was when the casual fan
could watch wrestling and actually be sucked in by the entertainment
value. It was the era where you were proud to announce to the world that
you loved wrestling and you wouldn't be mocked by anyone. Anyway, the
Attitude era was stuffed with entertaining segments involving the likes
of The Rock, Mankind and Steve Austin. Do you know what these guys all
had in common? They didn't have words stuffed in their mouths. Sure,
they were given directives over what they had to cover, but they were
trusted enough to say what they wanted. To rip the 'h*le' out of anyone
who got in their way. And the fans ate it up, because it was about as
real as pro wrestling gets.
And when I say 'real', I don't mean John Cena's definition of 'real'.
John Cena. A man who's entire repertoire consists of insinuating that
his opponent is gay. I concede defeat on the case of Cena as I don't
believe he is being told what to say, but what he says is crap. What he
does in the ring is crap. His gimmick is crap and SO fake. He is
WrestleCrap. How the hell has he been champion for so long?
Over on the blue side, Batista is still going strong as champion. I have
to say, he must be the most boring champion since, I don't know, Diesel?
I mean really, can you honestly say you'd buy a PPV because of Batista?
Then he has the cheek to diss AJ Styles on some talk show. I mean
Batista please. You're still a frickin' greenhorn. You have to be
carried by whoever you have across from you in the ring. And you have
the cheek to say that AJ doesn't know how to work? Get a clue.
CM Punk apparently doesn't know how to work either. Yeah that's why he
was one of the most popular grapplers outside the WWE, eh?
With that all said, the WWE is about to present it's second annual
"interactive" pay-per-view, Taboo Tuesday (still a real lame name). I
"interactive" in inverted commas as I am sceptical as to how this PPV is
actually run. I mean who verifies the votes?
John Cena vs Kurt Angle vs HBK/Kane/Show - fans are being manipulated
into voting for Shawn Michaels. I actually think Shawn will win the belt
here. Setting up and Angle/Michaels face-off at Survivor Series. At
least that's what I'd LIKE to see. Shawn and Kurt should be capable of
carrying Cena to a decent bout like Jericho and Christian did in the
summer. Cena really doesn't do anything for me though. Like Batista and
Triple H, I don't think he sells PPVs.
Ric Flair vs Triple H - hmmmm, I wonder if the fans will choose one fall
to a finish? This is the most idiotic vote on the entire show. Of COURSE
they are going to choose a steel cage match. If you are going to have a
steel cage match as one of the options, try to make the other two
matches seem remotely interesting. I don't care for Flair and couldn't
give a damn about Tubby H. Who will win the battle of the bloaters? Ach,
probably Flair, until Triple Chins destroys him at a later date.
Fulfil Your Fantasy - Trish should win, but this sort of match means
Mick Foley vs Carlito - Vote Dude Love!! I'm glad Mick has been paired
with Carlito as the Hardcore Legend will no doubt go out of his way to
make Mr. Cool look like a superstar. He did it with Austin, The Rock,
Triple H and Randy Orton. Carlito will probably take the victory in this
one I'd imagine. Who Mick goes to the ring as is really immaterial.
Rob Conway vs Eugene & Hacksaw/Superfly/Kamala - This one is kind of
meaningless. You know that Eugene is going to do the job whoever gets
picked to be the partner. I voted for Superfly, given he's the most
talented of the bunch. But again, this is a kind of pointless vote isn't
Edge & Masters vs JBL/Rey/Hardy/Holly/Christian - Now the logical
choices here would be Christian and Matt Hardy, given they both have
ties with Edge. Especially Hardy, the crossover would make sense and
would help him score a last victory in their feud. I will be very
disappointed if it's JBL and Rey that get the nod as the audience are
being brainwashed into choosing these guys. It is a shame how Christian
is being jobbed out on Smackdown despite having more charisma in his
little finger than the rest of the Smackdown heel roster combined (yes
that included Guerrero and Ken 'you bore me already' Kennedy). That's a
debate for another time.
Austin vs Coach - I am really rooting for Austin on this one as Coach's
commentary is awful. And I don't mean the parts where he is trying to
sound deliberately awful by copying JR. His analogies suck. He doesn't
know the names of any moves. And he gives away endings all the time. Do
you really think the fans are going to vote for a debate? Yet another
Cade & Murdoch vs losers of title match vote - Again a very
disappointing choice here. In that there is no choice. WWE are banking
on it being Kane and The Big Show so that they can have a huge tag-team
destroying everyone (yawn). Would a better option not have been for the
fans to vote for anyone not involved on the card from the rest of the
roster? The two with the highest votes would get a title shot? That way
you could end up with two fan favourites in a match that's NOT a squash!
Big Show and Kane will walk all over Cade and Murdoch which will make
the Raw tag division look even weaker.
There we have Taboo Tuesday. I don't think there are really going to be
any surprises there. Viewers have been conditioned what to vote for and
the other matches options are either obvious (Austin/Coach and Flair/HHH
- well what are you gonna pick? Duh!) or meaningless (voting on what
Foley and the Ladies wear). The WWE will be trumpeting how they listen
to the fans on Tuesday night, but anyone with half a brain can look a
bit closer to see that it is about as interactive as this column.
Let's talk about promising things. Well the one that springs to mind is
that Stephanie has finally got off her well-proportioned ass and allowed
a tag-team division to form. Okay so a couple are stuck with lame
gimmicks (mentioned earlier), but the majority of the guys in the
division are talented performers. Given time, hopefully we can get some
good action and tag battles can become the pride of Smackdown. Well lets
face it, it isn't going to be the Cruiserweight Division. Jamie Noble
and Spanky will be punished for being WWE exiles. Scotty is getting a
bit old for this lark. Paul London is being punished for daring to
complain to the powers-that-be that they took away his bread and butter
- the shooting star press. Which leaves Juventud and.... Juventud. Oh
dear. Not that they are ever going to do anything with the division
anyway. I've given up.
Some random thoughts before I depart:
Does anyone really care about the Miz?
Buff Bagwell really lives in his own little bubble doesn't he?
Johnny Ace is a moron isn't he?
Anyway, sorry if this column was a bit all over the place, but I had a
lot I needed to vent about.
Emails to andrewbulik@... . Enjoy Taboo Tuesday. PS to
the other Wrestling Online writers - start writing, provoke thought,
keep wrestling interesting.
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