Wrestling-Online Newsletter #1971
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Thursday, March 31st 2005 Issue #1971
Visit our website at http://www.wrestling-online.com
//->> OPENING WORDS FROM THE EDITOR
Colin Vassallo -[editor@...]-
Hey hey. Just three days away from Mania! Dammit it will be weird
watching from home on TV at 2 in the morning instead of being live. The
streak stopped after three consecutive WrestleMania's. Oh well.
Order the 2 disc DVD of Rob Van Dam 'One Of A Kind'
Buy it now from http://www.wrestling-megastore.com
//->> WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
Web version at -[http://www.wrestling-online.com/news%5d-
> RATINGS- RAW did a 4.0 rating with a 5.9 share for Monday's show, which is a
notch up from last week's show. It had hours of 3.8 and 4.1. In weekend
ratings, Velocity did a 0.7 with a 1.4 share, Experience did a 0.7 with
a 1.0 share and Heat did a 0.7 with a 1.2 share. (Ratings compiled by
Nielsen Media Research and put online by PWInsider.com)
> FLAIR TAKES JERICHO'S PLACE AT HOF- There's yet another change in the Hall Of Fame ceremony for this
Saturday and once again it's about who will induct Rowdy Roddy Piper.
First it was announced that Austin will do it, then he was changed for
Chris Jericho with no explanation given. Now it seems that Jericho was
given the boot and is being replaced by the Nature Boy Ric Flair.
> HOGAN REALITY SHOW ON VH1- VH1 will be doing a reality show based around Hulk Hogan titled 'Hogan
Knows Best' and will be debuting this Summer. W-O Newsletter reader Rev
sent in word that USAToday.com had a small preview about what the show
will be. "The show casts retired wrestler Hulk Hogan as a traditional
suburban dad to two teenagers on a 20,000-square-foot estate in
Clearwater, FL.," the preview says. Programming chief Brian Graden said
he was hooked-up by Hogan's protective side when it came to his daughter
once. He said that on her first date, he planted a GPS tracking device
in her car so he could follow every move.
> SMACKDOWN! PREVIEW- It's the final stop before WrestleMania! These matches have been taped
for tonight's Smackdown! on UPN. A Cruiserweight battle royal featuring
Chavo Guerrero, Kidman, Spike Dudley, Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio,
Akio and Paul London; Booker T vs Luther Reigns; Eddie Guerrero vs Danny
Basham; John Cena vs Carlito; Doug Basham vs Rey Mysterio; Akebono vs
Eddie Vegas. Plus the weigh-in between Big Show and Akebono.
> WWE VIDEOS ON BILLBOARD- The following videos are on Billboard's Top 10 Recreational Sports
chart for the week ending April 9th. 'Royal Rumble 2004' is in second
place, RVD's 'One Of A Kind' in sixth and 'Rise & Fall Of ECW' in the
seventh place in its eighteenth week on the chart. These videos and more
can be purchased on DVD from WrestlingMegastore.com
> STOCKS- Stocks closed the day at 11.68, a 3.31% decrease over yesterday's
closing. The day's range was 11.65 - 12.10.
//->> RAW TAWK
Well, hello there, Faithful RAW Tawk Readers!
Only a couple more weeks of tax season. . .maybe my writing schedule
will get a little more regular in the near future! For now, though, I
have several weeks' worth of RAW *and* SmackDown thoughts to share with
you. Let's get started, shall we?
If I may Tawk a little Smack for a moment. . .
PLEASE tell me that I'm not the only one who thought John Cena had taken
a heel turn a couple of weeks ago when he administered a resounding
"F-U" to his boss, Theodore Long! Apparently, that was not the case.
What I don't understand, though, is why ole' Teddy has not only NOT
punished Cena for his momentary lapse of good judgment, but he actually
appears to be on Cena's side and *defending* him in his various dealings
with John B. Layfield. Curiouser. . .
Even though I wasn't watching wrestling during the heyday of The
Rockers, and even though I'm not a huge HBK fan, it was very cool to see
Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty in a "one time only" Rockers Reunion
on RAW a few weeks ago. And Marty looked GOOD! Well, with the
exception of all that FRINGE! Thank goodness, it appears the retro gear
was also "one time only!" He looked much more acceptable during his
SmackDown match against Kurt Angle. Oh. And he wrestled pretty well,
too. . .
I've noticed lately that Luther Reigns does not look like a happy man.
I think he needs a hug. Not from ME, of course. . .
Heidenreich doesn't impress me much in the ring but, on the mic - as a
ringside announcer. . .I think the large man has finally found his
calling! Gordon Solie who?!?
Congratulations to Booker T on his recent nuptials and all but, really,
what was the point of having Sharmell SOOOOOOOOO visibly in the audience
if one of Booker's enemies didn't kidnap her or something?
A lot of the things written about wrestling on the Internet are
negative. I have a couple of *positive* things to say about SmackDown:
1) Turning Big Show face was a brilliant move. I believe I've
mentioned before that I think Paul Wight's biggest asset is his sense of
humor. He's able to showcase that when he's a good guy, so I say KEEP
2) I just realized as I was watching SmackDown last week how seamlessly
"Bradshaw" transitioned into "JBL." Now, I don't consider myself a fan
of either incarnation of John Layfield. Therefore, I think that says
even more about the talent of the man. He went from an APA tough guy to
a buttoned-down snob. . .same man, two distinctly different looks and
Okay. Enough of that crap!
I just went and voted for my favorite WrestleMania XXI Movie Trailers at
http://www.wwe.com/shows/wrestlemania21/trailers_vote1.jsp. Since I
know you all are just DYING to know how I voted, let me tell you! (I
think you'll be surprised at my choices):
1. Favorite Male Performance: JBL
2. Favorite Female Performance: Stacy Keibler
3. Best On Screen Tag Team: John Cena and JBL
4. Best Punch Line: Linda McMahon
5. Favorite Trailer: "Basic Instinct"
6. NC-17 Award: "Michael Cole Gets Tough"
7. "You Talking to Me" Award: Batista
8. Best Hair: Booker T
9. Most Promising Movie Star: Stacy Keibler
Now, go vote yourselves before it's too late!
Kurt Angle sure has all of HBK's moves down. Sadly, Kurt doesn't really
look sexy when he does them. He just looks. . .well. . .uh. . .NOT
sexy. . . That said, I'm still walking around singing, "I'm Sexy Kurt!
I'll Make Your Ankle Hurt!"
If Undertaker had to make a sacrifice, why Rene Dupree? Why couldn't it
have been Hardcore Holly? Oh Well. It could have been worse. At least
it wasn't Fifi. . .
Is it just me, or did Carlito look HOT in his Elvis gear last week?
And, after his food service segment on SmackDown a couple of weeks ago,
C.C.C. now stands for "Carlito Caribbean Concession." Or maybe "Carlito
Caribbean Catsup!" Anyway, apples or hot dogs, as long as Carlito is
spitting food on people, that's cool. . .
And, speaking of sustenance. . .
I hope this doesn't put anyone off fast food (goodness knows, we
Americans aren't eating NEARLY enough of it. . .myself included!), but
doesn't the "M" over Maven's gonads on his trunks kind of resemble those
famous golden arches of McDonald's? Now, every time I see Maven, I
crave a Big Mac. . .which is kind of scary, sad and gross, all at the
same time. . .
Before I move on to last Monday's RAW, how about a few notes regarding
the RAW before last. . .
- King was right. Triple H looked very cool, calm and collected as he
discussed the demise of Evolution with the crowd. He looked really
comfortable in his steel folding chair, even tipping it back on two legs
a time or two. Yup, he was real smooth and captivating. . .but wouldn't
it have been funny if he'd tipped over backward on live television? Not
only would it have been entertaining, but what a lesson for the kiddies
watching! I can't speak for everyone, but I know my Mom was always
warning me that if I kept tipping my chair back, I'd eventually fall
over and crack my head open!
- Jericho's looking very tan. . . And, were those new tights he was
- Looks like Edge got some new tights, too. They're quite attractive. .
.and they look really good with that big, red "A" on his chest. . .
Okay. I don't consider myself a fair-weather EdgeHead. And, besides,
who am I to judge when I don't know all the details and circumstances of
the Edge/Lita/Matt story? I'm still a fan of Edge. . .I'm just
disappointed in him.
- Note to Jerry Lawler: Nell Carter is still dead. . .
- I wonder if the person who had that "Shelton Sucks" sign at RAW a few
weeks ago saw his match a couple of Monday's ago? Sure, he may have
been pinned to lose the match for himself and Jericho, but he was the
STAR of that match, as far as I'm concerned.
- I don't think Randy Orton is really a heel. . .I think he has a split
personality. . .
- I'm sure he didn't mean to be funny, but when Benoit missed the diving
headbutt on Tyson Tomko, he looked like a bug who'd been sprayed with
RAID! His green tights only intensified the effect! Over a week later,
I'm *STILL* laughing!
- Shawn Michaels looks really nice in a suit and tie. That said, why
would anyone wear a suit and tie if they didn't HAVE to?
- Per Triple H, Batista's opponent was hand-picked by him and the
lumberjacks were also hand-picked by him. Then, he posed the question,
"Do you know what happens when they are hand-picked by me?" Your Auntie
Ginger will venture a guess. . . You wipe them under your chair?
- Triple H went on to say he would "Put the Animal down," and that he'd
beat him "Like a bag of puppies." I have two things to say about that.
1) Paul Levesque, can you spell P.E.T.A.?
2) I cannot BELIEVE The King didn't comment on someone beating a bag of
And now, in (sort of) breaking RAW news. . .
RAW may be Jericho, but that beard is NOT!
Set dressing be damned. . .that ladder in the middle of the ring during
the Highlight Reel put the Jeritron 5000 in dire peril. Given time and
care, flesh and bone will usually heal. Cutting edge electronics,
however, are obscenely expensive to replace!
Boy, that six-man tag match that immediately followed the Highlight Reel
was sure an unexpected treat! (Cough, cough) But, how come Kane wasn't
Oh. nevermind. . .
Trish Stratus may be a "bad girl," but at least she knows how choose the
appropriate attire for an arm wrestling match. Christy! A strapless
mini dress? Puh-LEASE!
Randy Orton doesn't see a headstone in his future. Lucky for him,
Undertaker will be cremating him at WrestleMania!
((Note to Members of the Randy Orton Fan Club: I'm just kidding!!! No
death threats, please!))
I've finally figured out why the fans hate Daivari. . .he doesn't pause
long enough in his rants for them to shout "What" at him!
From the "You Learn Something New Every Day" Department: Apparently,
the more times you stomp your foot before performing Sweet Chin Music on
your opponent, the more devastating the move is. Not only that, but if
you stomp more than a couple of times, the crowd begins to count. So,
it's kind of a bonding thing. And educational for the kiddies, as
As Triple H droned on. . .and on. . .and on. . .at Batista about how
he'd been nothing until he was "discovered" by The Game, I fully
expected him to burst into his own rendition of the Janet Jackson hit,
"What Have You Done For Me, Lately?"
Over all, I'd have to say that RAW was a pretty darn good advertisement
for WrestleMania XXI. . .as I'm sure SmackDown will be, as well. I hope
the PPV itself lives up to the hype. And I hope any of you who are
paying for the privilege of watching will find it worth your money!
Until the big day arrives, feel free to check out "Jeff and Ginger's
(Sort of) WrestleMania XXI Predictions" right here:
With that, Carlito has left the building! Take care and see ya next
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