Wrestling-Online Newsletter #1794
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/ _ \| \| | | |_ _| \| | __| Issue #1794
| (_) | .` | |__ | || .` | _| Friday April 2nd 2004
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>> OPENING WORDS FROM THE EDITORBy Colin Vassallo, [Editor@...]
OK for those of you who didn't scroll down to the very end of the
newsletter yesterday, the whole issue was fake, an April Fool's joke.
Yes, even Clevett quitting was fake. Some were fooled, some weren't!
Hey, you can't always please everyone! But anyway, all the news from
yesterday newsletter was just made up for the special occasion.
Pre-Order the WrestleMania XX triple DVD disc set now!
Olympic Sports is the ONLY SPORTSBOOK offering WRESTLING BETTING on
pay-per-view and weekly matches. Check out our lines each week at
http://www.thegreek.com/dw/welcome.asp?ap=WrestOnline and sign up
>> WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT NEWShttp://www.wrestling-online.com/news
> TORRIE ON DIVAS MAG COVER ALREADY- W-O Newsletter reader Anthony Silva sent in word that the new Divas
2004 Magazine is already on sale with Torrie Wilson on the cover.
Interesting enough WWE.COM was still accepting votes for the cover, with
finalists Torrie and Gail Kim. The issue is supposed to hit the
newsstands on April 20th nationwide but it looks like certain locations
already have it on sale.
> WWE IN MEXICO TOMORROW- WWE will be heading to Mexico tomorrow for the first time with a show
in Monterrey. Smackdown! Superstars Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero will
be on the card as well as a special attraction. An interesting match
just announced is the pairing of Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin
taking on Ric Flair and Batista. Despite the fact that this will be
WWE's first showing in the area, the show has not sold out and tickets
still remain. Even though it is a house show ringside tickets are
selling for $150 USD while other tickets are in the range of $10 to $80
USD. Ouch. Tickets can be purchased from http://www.arenamonterrey.com
> WWE ON BILLBOARD- The following videos are on Billboard's Top 10 Recreational Sports
chart for the week ending April 10. 'The Monday Night War' is in first,
followed by the debut of 'No Way Out 2004' in third place, John Cena's
'World Life' in fourth, Steve Austin's 'Stone Cold Truth' in sixth and
Mick Foley's 'Greatest Hits And Misses' in seventh. All mentioned videos
can be purchased through http://www.wrestling-online.com/megastore/ on
> STOCKS- Stocks closed the day at 14.99, a 3.02% increase over yesterday's
closing. The day's range was 14.59 - 15.44.
> RATINGS- Smackdown! did a 3.2 rating with a 5.0 share, down 0.2 from last
week's show. (Ratings compiled by Nielsen Media Research and put online
>> RAW TAWKBy Ginger, [GLRSS@...]
Hey, Readers! Auntie G. is back, and I have *lots* to say this week.
So, no small talk, anecdotes or lengthy introductions. . .let's just
dive right into the RAW Tawk!
Jazz's outfit on Heat was really cute. . .but, wouldn't it have looked
WAY better on Lita?
It was a bit surprising that Al Snow referred to Joey Matthews as "Joey
Babaganuch." (Or, you know, however you spell that. . .) Yes,
he is an indy guy, but one of the better known ones. Show a little
My mama always told me if I had nothing nice to say, I should say
nothing at all. With that in mind, I just have to say. . . Val Venis
has perfected his pre-match towel twirling technique to high art!
"Matt Has Four Different Phone Numbers." That may have been impressive
five years ago, but these days, most of us have at *least*
two or three, my friend!
"Matt is a Fan of Thin Crust Pizza." Ginger, too. Low carbs, don'tcha
At the top of RAW, Mick Foley said he wanted to hear that Randy Orton
accepted his proposed Hardcore match at Backlash, "From the
horse's mouth." Not to be argumentative Mick but, to me, Randy Orton
looks more like a baboon than a horse. . .
I've seen a lot of people green-misted before, but Coach was, by FAR,
the funniest! Gotta love a man who can get another man's green
spit in his mouth and still be entertaining!
Isn't it interesting that, even though Molly's hair comes equipped with
a chin strap, it looks less like a wig than Nidia's?
Does John Hennigan realize that we can see right through his shirt?!?
After Edge's first match back after neck surgery was announced, I had
1) His first match isn't until BACKLASH? Three weeks away? That
2) I've never wished I was Kane before, but I do now!
If Eric Bischoff was really as smart a businessman as Triple H claimed,
it seems like he might have tried to keep his "#1 Superstar"
from trying to kill the rest of his roster!
HO-LEE CUH-RAP!!! I cannot BELIEVE this $#!%!!! ANOTHER Triple
H/Michaels/Benoit Triple Threat match? It's lucky for WWE that
I never buy PPV's cuz, if I did, I'd stop now.
. . .sorry. . .
So, RAW is "Fight Club" now. How original. . .
It's lucky for Lance Storm that he decided the dancing gimmick wasn't
his cuppa tea because, after the gore Rhyno gave him, I don't
think he'll be able to *walk*, let alone dance!
With that green mist residue on his face, Coach looked kind of like
Johnny Spade. . .Johnny Nitro. . . Wasn't he Johnny Deuce or Johnny
Diamond or something a couple of weeks ago? Is it my
imagination, or is this dude going by a different name every time we see
him? If he ever plans to settle on a permanent name, may I
suggest "Johnny DELICIOUS?!?"
And, where the heck is Matt Cappotelli? Is he being held back because
his hair isn't *quite* as grand as John's?
While - for the most part - I find it painful to watch Ric Flair
wrestle, I'll NEVER get tired of his old standards - Strutting, begging
mercy and falling on his face!
OH. . .MY. . .GOD!!! From the year 1989, James Hetfield traveled
through time to be in the audience for RAW last Monday night! And,
it appears that he's a Shawn Michaels fan!
How sweet! To celebrate their (near) tag team title victory, Benoit and
HBK didn't just hug. . .they slow danced!
Even though "Johnny Nitro" screwed his team out of the belts, what Shawn
Michaels did to the Special Guest Referee wasn't exactly
what I'd call "Christian." HBK, WWJD?
For once, Jerry Lawler and I had something in common. . .we both looked
forward to The Highlight Reel all night! Trish was an
interesting choice for a guest, but I was *hoping* for Edge!
((Sigh)) Jericho is *so* beautiful when he's hurt. . . And he's funny
as Hell, too!
At the risk of alienating those who have low self-esteem when it comes
to their Wrestling Super Genius quotient, I must point out that I,
your Auntie Ginger, used Jericho's old "Trashbag Ho" rant in last
weekend's edition of "Ginger's (Sort of) Weekly Column." The fact
that Jericho brought that back last Monday on RAW after keeping it in
storage for a year or two can mean one of two things: Either
I'm the one, true WSG (Wrestling Super Genius), or Chris Jericho and I
have a cosmic, psychic connection. Or, maybe both. You can't
deny it. It's true.
Apparently - perhaps in honor of the new movie being heavily promoted
during WWE programming - Kane is serving as "The
Punisher" to any RAW Superstar who pisses off the boss!
Wait a minute. . . Tajiri beat Kane? That's *awesome*! But, wouldn't
*red* mist have been more appropriate. . .and *less*
EDGE! EDGE! EDGE! My GOD, he's hot! After a week of anticipation,
how sad is it that he only made a thirty-second appearance -
and *that* was a teaser for a match at a pay-per-view event that I won't
I respect Chris Benoit, but even *he* isn't always right. He told
Shelton Benjamin that everyone calls Triple H "The Cerebral
Assassin." I happen to know for a fact that lots of folks simply call
him "@$$#0!&" - over and over again in a chant-like fashion!
Shelton Benjamin not only main evented his first night on RAW but - OH
MY GOD! - Triple H *jobbed* to him! Say what you will, that
was an AWESOME match. Triple H did a great job of putting Shelton over
- two snaps up, baybee! I kid you not, I actually got a little
misty when Shelton got the pin. I'm sure it was just a one-time thing,
but wasn't it great?
Even more astounding than the upset trouncing of Triple H was the fact
that Mike Chioda refereed the RAW main event from beginning
to end and didn't get knocked out or injured at all! Earl Hebner must
have gone home sick. Either that or WWE read my column in
Wrestling-Online Newsletter #1786 and decided to discount my WSG
status. I vote for "B". . .
In closing, I'd like to point out that neither A-Train *nor* Chuck
Palumbo appeared on RAW last Monday - after being freshly traded to
RAW by SmackDown's new G.M., Kurt Angle. Guess we'll be seein' 'em on
Heat next Sunday, huh?
See you in a week. . .or when my work schedule allows. (Tax season 2004
will be HISTORY in just over two weeks! Pray for me!) Until
then, be sure to visit TheRingPost.com and check out the latest edition
of "Dear Auntie Ginger" right here:
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