Thank you for submitting your story to the Wraithbait archive. It has
now been approved and uploaded.
I did want to let you know that you have a strange sentence in the
first paragraph: "Beside him, Dr. Jackson O'Neill gasped audibly."
This actually doesn't make any sense--either you're missing a comma
(or two), or you need to add some words. :)
I also wanted to suggest that you get a different beta. Your current
one seems to be good with such things as plot, but her grammar,
unfortunately, is not actually good enough to be a real help to you.
I found a lot of errors with dialogue punctuation, enough that if you
hadn't obviously made an effort to have this chapter gone over, I
would have had to ask you to fix them and resubmit. As it is, I'm
afraid that I may have to do so in future if these kinds of errors
keep showing up.
"That George, what a flirt[.]," Elizabeth laughed.
Daniel raised a hand[.], "Yes, I wondered if we could have the usual
meeting right away so we can[--] …"
"Hello[.]," Rodney grinned at them
"It's about your ATA gene, in part[,]." Jack began.
Please keep in mind that these are only a few examples. There were
problems with at least half the lines of dialogue.
If you haven't already, please do check out the Wraithbeta Yahoo
List, and ask specifically for a beta with a good grammar background.
If you get in a real bind, I can go over the punctuation for you, but
since that's not a complete beta, you'll probably want to get someone
All the best,
...SO as you can see I'm in a real bind. HELP!!
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS