[OT] Stories from Tech Support
- . . . found on the web
Actual Call Center Calls
By Lynn L. Martin
Occasionally on Jay Leno or the nightly news, you will hear some really ridiculous 911 calls. Here is a collection of calls to "support centers" for various products.
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.' - - -
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' - - -
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?' - - -
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' - - -
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' - - -
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ' - - -
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.' - - -
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.' - - -
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?' - - -
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?' - - -
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is..'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is??'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'Calle 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark.'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you just shouldn't own a computer!!!'
- The last item reminds me of an experience I had when I worked for a
Back in the early days we had a Combination of Apple I, II, IIe, IIc,
Ti-88 Commodore 64/28, Epson Equity I,II, III, IV, IBM PS 1, and 2 and
some house Brands called Winn (286 and 386 boxes), then a few Macintosh
Most of the Elementary and Primary schools just used the Apple I,II
machines and the TI-88.
Anyway I was at a School in Library and a child came in and asked for a
program to go in computer. The Librarian gave the child a Floppy Disk
for an Apple II Computer. A few minutes later the child came back and was
desperately asking Librarian to come get the computer working. She asked me
to go along as it could be a problem with the computer.
When we got to the room we almost had to duct tape our mouths closed. Turns
out she had a TI-88 which used a cartridge slot and she folded the
floppy in quarters and stuffed it in the slot expecting it to work. The librarian told the child to come back to room and she would give them a program that would
We had to go outside and laugh our backsides off for about 5 minutes.
> . . . found on the web
> Actual Call Center Calls
- On Aug 8, 2010, at 10:28 PM, jrethorst wrote:
> . .It's amazing how this has grown. It has been floating around the email
> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think
> this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
> This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was
> transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..
> Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is
> currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination
> without Cause.'
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
listst, and then later the web since long before Satellite Software
was selling Word Perfect.
Geoffrey S. Mendelson, N3OWJ/4X1GM
To help restaurants, as part of the "stimulus package", everyone must
order dessert. As part of the socialized health plan, you are
forbidden to eat it. :-)
- There was a version of it floating around MIT in the 1970s - when it was about someone working at a terminal. A friend who worked at some IBM research center in the 1980s heard a version of it about the old DisplayWrite system.
--- In email@example.com, geoffrey mendelson <geoffreymendelson@...> wrote:
> It's amazing how this has grown. It has been floating around the email
> listst, and then later the web since long before Satellite Software
> was selling Word Perfect.