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[NEWS] Google buys Apple

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  • jrethorst
    NEW YORK (April 1) - In a move that stunned many industry observers but which insiders say was expected, Google has acquired Apple Inc. (formerly Apple
    Message 1 of 5 , Apr 1, 2010
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      NEW YORK (April 1) - In a move that stunned many industry observers but which insiders say was expected, Google has acquired Apple Inc. (formerly Apple Computer) for over $250 billion in stock, other equities and cash, representatives of both companies announced today.

      "This is a very positive step for the entire industry," Google chairman Eric Schmidt said. "Apple has always had its own way of doing things and, while that was fun to watch, it simply does not comport with Google's pending ownership of the universe, and the resulting necessity that all things be done the Google way."

      As a possibly telling example of that perspective, Schmidt declined to comment on observations that "Don't be evil" is an astonishingly ingenuous mantra for such an influential corporation to have, compared with "Don't be selfish/lazy/complacent" or similar adjectives more germane to actual adult issues, limitations and lives.

      Apple chairman Steve Jobs could not be reached for comment, as he was apparently using his iPad to surf the dozen or so remaining websites that do not require Flash video to run.

      In related developments, Google announced that Mac OSX would be discontinued in favor of Chrome OS, which is already almost as popular as Windows Vista, and that Apple's iPad, iPhone and iPod would be discontinued in favor of Google's Android.

      John R.
    • Chad Smith
      This report is wrong. It should read Topeka bought Apple, (right after changing its name to Topeka from Google).
      Message 2 of 5 , Apr 1, 2010
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        This report is wrong.

        It should read Topeka bought Apple, (right after changing its name to Topeka
        from Google).
        http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/different-kind-of-company-name.html

        - Chad W Smith
        "I like a man who's middle name is W." - President George W. Bush - February
        10, 2003 bit.ly/gwb-dubya
      • Nancy Hyden Woodward
        John, I assume everyone who reads this news knows today is April Fool s Day! Nancy
        Message 3 of 5 , Apr 1, 2010
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          John,
          I assume everyone who reads this "news" knows today is April Fool's Day!
          Nancy
        • Gilbert, Geoffrey S
          I do so love the childish glee hardbitten journalists seem to get from inventing painfully obvious spoofs today Geoff
          Message 4 of 5 , Apr 1, 2010
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            I do so love the childish glee hardbitten journalists seem to get from
            inventing painfully obvious spoofs today
            Geoff



            On 1 Apr 2010, at 15:51, "jrethorst" <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

            > NEW YORK (April 1) - In a move that stunned many industry observers
            > but which insiders say was expected, Google has acquired Apple Inc.
            > (formerly Apple Computer) for over $250 billion in stock, other
            > equities and cash, representatives of both companies announced today.
            >
            > "This is a very positive step for the entire industry," Google
            > chairman Eric Schmidt said. "Apple has always had its own way of
            > doing things and, while that was fun to watch, it simply does not
            > comport with Google's pending ownership of the universe, and the
            > resulting necessity that all things be done the Google way."
            >
            > As a possibly telling example of that perspective, Schmidt declined
            > to comment on observations that "Don't be evil" is an astonishingly
            > ingenuous mantra for such an influential corporation to have,
            > compared with "Don't be selfish/lazy/complacent" or similar
            > adjectives more germane to actual adult issues, limitations and lives.
            >
            > Apple chairman Steve Jobs could not be reached for comment, as he
            > was apparently using his iPad to surf the dozen or so remaining
            > websites that do not require Flash video to run.
            >
            > In related developments, Google announced that Mac OSX would be
            > discontinued in favor of Chrome OS, which is already almost as
            > popular as Windows Vista, and that Apple's iPad, iPhone and iPod
            > would be discontinued in favor of Google's Android.
            >
            > John R.
            >
            >
            >
            > ------------------------------------
            >
            > Yahoo! Groups Links
            >
            >
            >
          • Phillip M. Jones, C.E.T.
            April Fools! :-)
            Message 5 of 5 , Apr 1, 2010
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              April Fools! :-)
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