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- Helpless Britons appeal to France for "regime change"
Herm� Gaspin, Paris correspondent, BNN, 28 February
Graphic by Bassaleh News Network
A group of British dissidents has appealed to France
to invade the United Kingdom and bring about regime
change. According to a spokeswoman at the Elysee
Palace, French President Jacques Chirac received the
request in a letter from a group of British exiles and
"pro-democracy activists" calling themselves the "Free
United Kingdom Movement" or FUKM, for short. BNN
obtained a copy of the appeal in full:
"Dear President Chirac, On behalf of the people of the
United Kingdom, we appeal to you to help our suffering
and once proud nation rid itself of a leader who
defies the wishes of his people and is trying to drag
our country into a bloody and senseless war of
conquest against a distant nation that has done
nothing to us.
We have evidence that this leader has made a strategic
alliance with the leader of a fanatical foreign cult
that is bent on world domination. This cult is
commonly known as "The Superpower." For years, The
Superpower has been building bases all over our
country, where it trains men in fighting, including
how to drop bombs on civilians in distant nations from
far above them. It is also stockpiling weapons of mass
destruction in our country, including nuclear
missiles. We are afraid that our leader and The
Superpower he serves will drag us into a holy war.
The international community and the United Nations
Security Council are trying to stop this war, but our
leader and The Superpower say they will simply
disregard international law and do whatever they want.
They disdain the will of the world, as well as our own
Our desperate efforts to change this leader's course
have come to naught. Millions of people came into the
streets, and all our leader said was that if they did
not go along with his war plans they would have blood
on their hands. Our brave religious leaders, including
the heads of the Anglican and Catholic Churches have
appealed to our leader, and told him his path is
immoral. He is defying them too, although he claims to
be a religious man. Yesterday in our largely
rubber-stamp parliament, more than one hundred and
twenty members of the leader's ruling party dared to
vote against him, and yet still he carries on pushing
us to war.
President Chirac, we are a small nation with many
needs. Although we once tried to rule the world, we
realized it wasn't for us. Today we have the highest
rate of child poverty in the European Union. We can't
even run our trains on time, and too often they fall
off the tracks killing many people. Why is our leader
spending billions of pounds on the folly of war?
We desperately need democracy. Above our leader is an
unelected "monarch" who spends billions of pounds on
palaces all over the country, money that should be
used on the needs of the people. Instead of moving
democracy forward, our leader wants to roll it back.
He has rejected calls for free elections for something
we call the "House of Lords" and he insists on filling
it with his appointed cronies. We no longer have the
cherished right to remain silent in criminal
proceedings. Almost every move we make is watched by
closed circuit television cameras. President Chirac,
we have many other problems as well. For example, our
police have been found to be "institutionally racist"
by human rights organizations. We have more people in
prison per capita than any country in Europe (though
not as many as The Superpower which imprisons millions
of its people, mostly the poor and the non-white, in
vast work camps.)
With this grim situation before us, we feel we have no
choice. We must appeal to the people of Old Europe, to
immediately assemble a coalition of the willing to
disarm our leader, expel the foreign cult and its
horrible weapons, and to help us put in place a truly
democratic republic. Please, President Chirac, act at
once, before it is too late!
"Free United Kingdom Movement" (FUKM)
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