Re: Issue 16 in vim: [PATCH] Missing comma in usr_10.txt
- On 27/06/2011 22:23, sc wrote:
> On Monday, June 27, 2011 11:49:15 Mike Williams wrote:Ecstatic :-)
>> On 27/06/2011 16:57, sc wrote:
>>> On Monday, June 27, 2011 04:43:23 vim@... wrote:
>>>> Comment #2 on issue 16 by shlomif: [PATCH] Missing comma in
>>>> usr_10.txt http://code.google.com/p/vim/issues/detail?id=16
>>>> It does not read fine to me and other people:
>>>> <rindolf> Hi all. http://paste.debian.net/121122/ - "In
>>>> chapter 4 several ways to make small changes were
>>>> explained." - I think there should be a comma after the
>>>> "chapter 4" - am I right?
>>> there could be a comma there, but so what -- there can also
>>> not be one, and adding one doesn't add a thing to the
>>> clarity of the sentence -- i've been an english speaker all
>>> my life (long time) and IMHO it reads fine without a comma
>>> it's starting to sound to me as if someone's got too much
>>> time on their hands
>> There is nothing quite like a bit of bike-shedding at the end
>> of the working day ;-)
>> The introductory paragraph does seem a little stilted.
>> Usually this is a sign that a rewrite would help. Doing just
>> the first sentence would give:
>> Chapter 4 explained several ways to make small changes.
>> Combining with the second sentence seems a nicer still:
>> Where chapter 4 explained several ways to make small
>> changes, this chapter goes into making changes that are
>> repeated or can affect a large amount of text.
>> And to be honest the last couple of sentences seem a bit stiff
>> as well. How about.
>> Blocks of test can be changed with Visual mode, and more
>> complicated changes can be done using an external program.
>> 2p's worth.
> fine -- i'll go there
> if it's stilted it's because of the use of the phrase "goes
> into" -- if i had a power drunk english teacher who insisted i
> re-write it i'd take
> In chapter 4 several ways to make small changes were
> explained. This chapter goes into making changes that are
> repeated or can affect a large amount of text.
> and change it to read:
> In chapter 4 we explained several ways to make small changes.
> In this chapter we'll discuss methods of repeating changes and
> ways of affecting a large amount of text.
> thus changing passive voice to active and eliminating the
> "goes into" heresy
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
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