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Tale to Understand The Importance of Being Sensitive to Children's Feelings!

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  • Divya Venkat
    CINDY AND HER CAKE Cindy glanced nervously at the clock on the kitchen wall. Five minutes before midnight. They should be home any time now, she thought as
    Message 1 of 86 , Oct 3, 2006

      Cindy glanced nervously at the clock on the kitchen
      wall. Five minutes before midnight.

      "They should be home any time now," she thought as she
      put the finishing touches on the chocolate cake she
      was frosting.

      It was the first time in her 12 years she had tried to
      make a cake from scratch, and to be honest, it wasn't
      exactly an aesthetic triumph. The cake was . . . well,
      lumpy. And the frosting was bitter, as if she had run
      out of sugar or something. Which, of course, she had.

      And then there was the way the kitchen looked. Imagine
      a huge blender filled with all the fixings for
      chocolate cake -- including the requisite bowls, pans
      and utensils. Now imagine that the blender is turned
      on. High speed. With the lid off. Do you get the idea?

      But Cindy wasn't thinking about the mess. She had
      created something, a veritable phoenix of flour and
      sugar rising out of the kitchen clutter. She was
      anxious for her parents to return home,so she could
      present her anniversary gift to them.

      She turned off the kitchen lights and waited excitedly
      in the darkness. When at last she saw the flash of the
      car headlights, she positioned herself in the kitchen
      doorway. By the time she heard the key sliding into
      the front door, she was THIS CLOSE to exploding.

      Her parents tried to slip in quietly, but Cindy would
      have none of that. She flipped on the lights
      dramatically and trumpeted: "Ta-daaa!" She gestured
      grandly toward the kitchen table, where a slightly
      off-balance two-layer chocolate cake awaited their

      But her mother's eyes never made it all the way to the
      table. "Just look at this mess!" she moaned. "How many
      times have I talked to you about cleaning up after

      "But Mom, I was only..."

      "I should make you clean this up right now, but I'm
      too tired to stay up with you to make sure you get it
      done right," her mother said. "So you'll do it first
      thing in the morning."

      "Honey," Cindy's father interjected gently, "take a
      look at the table."

      "I know -- it's a mess," his wife said coldly. "The
      whole kitchen is a disaster. I can't stand to look at
      it." She stormed up the stairs and into her room,
      slamming the door shut behind her.

      For a few moments Cindy and her father stood silently,
      neither one knowing what to say. At last she looked up
      at him, her eyes moist and red. "She never saw the
      cake," she said!!


      Unfortunately, Cindy's mother isn't the only parent
      who suffers from Situational Timbercular Glaucoma -
      the occasional inability to see the forest for the

      From time to time we all allow ourselves to be blinded
      to issues of long-term significance by Stuff That
      Seems Awfully Important Right Now - but isn't.

      Muddy shoes, lost lunch money and messy kitchens are
      troublesome, and they deserve their place among life's

      But what's a little mud - even on new carpet -
      compared to a child's self- esteem? Is a lost dollar
      more valuable than a youngster's emerging dignity? And
      while kitchen sanitation is important, is it worth the
      sacrifice of tender feelings and relationships?

      I'm not saying that our children don't need to learn
      responsibility, or to occasionally suffer the painful
      consequences of their own bad choices.

      Those lessons are vital, and need to be carefully

      But as parents or teachers, we must never forget that
      we're not just teaching lessons - we're teaching
      children. That means there are times when we really
      need to see the mess in the kitchen.

      And times when we only need to see the cake!!

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    • Divya Venkat
      A LESSON FROM ALICE FREEMAN Alice Freeman Palmer, the second president of Wellesley College, was happiest when she was doing most for others. When she left the
      Message 86 of 86 , Jul 31, 2007
        Alice Freeman Palmer, the second president of Wellesley College, was happiest when she was doing most for others.

        When she left the college in 1887, she gave herself so unweariedly to her self-imposed task of lightening the burdens of the unfortunate that her husband, a Harvard professor expostulated. He thought she should give her time and strength to writing books that would make her still more famous.

        "You are building no monument," he said. "When you are gone, people will ask who you are and no one will be able to say."

        "Well why should they?" was the answer. "I am trying to make people happier and wiser. Books don't help much toward that. It is people that count. You want to put yourself into people; they touch other people; these, others still, and so you go on working forever." !!
        That was such a wonderful and touching answer isnt it?
        What makes us human is our capacity to love. Love is that quality that erases prejudice and moves us to forgive, gives us peace of mind in a turbulent world, and keeps us sane.

        Love sees broken souls and heals them. Love hears plaintive cries and answers. Love discerns a need and fulfills it. Love does not see color, race or features; love sees people.

        Yes, we are imperfect. Our love is imperfect but the power of love overshadows its imperfections. The power of love knows no boundaries, no walls. It holds no record of misgivings but believes in second chances.

        Love does not ask for anything in return. It is at times a self-sacrificing gift but it is given freely. For when we give love and see the difference that one act of love can make, the feeling is priceless, indescribable.

        And in that one moment, we get a glimpse of the power contained in each of us, the power, not to change the world, but to change a part of the world. And then we see the power of our love working in unison, the power to change the world!
        A person with true love in his/heart has the power to have a positive influence in every life he touches and makes a deep influence on others!
        The only way of getting into another person's heart or to influence anyone positively is through genuine unconditional love!
        But how to love others unconditionally when there are so many differences between each of us??
        You can't please everybody. Every one of us is born unique in our ways, outlook, attitudes, likes, dislikes, opinions, and perspective. Come to think of it, even if we have a lot of things that are different from each other, we still are set by boundaries, norms and principles for socially acceptable behavior so that we can co-exist peacefully.

        Here are just basic things to remember. One is to realize and put in our hearts that we should respect other's ways, outlooks, attitudes, likes and dislikes, opinions or perspective. If we do that, there comes the acceptance that no one has to be like you or you don't need to be like the others, just so you could get along.

        Do not expect others to see your way. If they don't, respect that. Do not expect others to make the same decisions that you do. If they don't, respect that. Conflicts are second-nature to humans. People are argumentative to a fault, in many aspects of our lives. We just have to stop and listen. We don't have to agree, but respect others ideas and opinions.

        If you don't want to get stumped while expressing your thoughts, then don't do that to others as well. In this generation and age, people are accustomed to just being in a group, organization, or having friends that also have the same viewpoints as we do. By doing this, we limit our capabilities to inculcate respect.

        And remember, you can only be on the same wavelength with someone else to a minimal extent. Even twins are not so much alike.

        Next time you would have a cross (a disagreement) with someone, remember all these. You are at an advantage because that person might go on because he doesn't know that respect is needed to ensure that we live peacefully. And if you stoop down to his level, you are the loser, not him. Understanding is respecting. Respecting is not a way to please everyone but a course to ensure that you are a principled person.
        Love blossoms and grows only if we have true respect for eachother!
        Respect others and learn to love......till your heart is overflowing with the fullness of happiness..then it will naturally flow to others also!

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