Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

health reminders

Expand Messages
  • jerry gacutno
    Sex in Español What is sex in Español? Vamos tumba la cama, entrada mi picoy tu fuerta, con atras abante; no pwersa pero sige rapido birada, cargada cemilya
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 14, 2008
    • 0 Attachment
      Sex in Español
      What is sex in Español? "Vamos tumba la cama, entrada mi picoy tu
      fuerta, con atras abante; no pwersa pero sige rapido birada, cargada
      cemilya todo discarga..ole!!





      Dngerous to your health
      GOVT WARNING: Eating female's organ is dangerous to your health bcoz
      its 5% urine, 3% acidic, 2% fat & 90% addictive. Hehehe. Eat
      moderately







      m&m
      Once there was a beautiful princess and whatever she touches melts.
      The king worrying about his daughter's situation said, "Anyone who
      can bring an object that would not melt in my daughter's hands can
      marry her".
      Three princes came. The first, brought a sword of d finest steel but
      when the princess touched it, it melted.
      The second, brought the hardest diamonds, it also melted.
      The third came and told the princess, "Please put your hand in my
      pocket your highness." And she felt something hard but did not melt.
      They married and lived happily ever after.
      What's in the prince's pants?
      M&M..Of course.!
      Melts in your mouth not in your hands.!


      GERMAN TRANSLATIONS:

      Matandang dalaga - zaradozauten
      Manyak - andaranguten
      Pokpok - gutomzauten
      Madre - takotzauten
      Bakla - hiligzauten
      Balo - hintaynguten
      Japayuki - haponanguten
      Chicano - tarugoanguten
      Macho Dancer - lawitnaanguten






      If you want!
      If you want to be lucky believe in feng shui
      If you want to be healthy eat chopseuy
      If you want to be rich play pusoy
      If you want to be horny..........pindot tutuy



      MASS STARVATION
      Clinton: I will put an end to poverty, to crime, and to MASS
      STARVATION!

      Erap: Ha! Ha! Ha!

      Guard: Pres, bakit kayo tumatawa?

      Erap: Paano niya mapipigilan ang kalibugan ng tao? Sige nga!




      First day of classes (Don't Forget The "R")
      First day of classes sa isang block sa Ateneo de Manila University...

      PROFESSOR: Class, I would like to introduce myself. My name is
      Professor Justin Krepyas, and I am your professor in English. Don't
      forget the R!

      May natutulog na isang studyante sa likod. Tinawag ni Mr. Krepyas...

      PROFESSOR: Hey you, what's my name, if you were listening?

      STUDENT: Sir, Mr. Pruke!



      Expedition
      SEC: Sir, bukas po ang zipper ng pants nyo.
      BOSS: Ha??!! Dyahe! Did you see my expedition w/ 2 mag wheels?
      SEC: No. Sir what I saw was your tamiya w/ 2 flat tires.




      Sex Vowels of Women
      aahhh - napasukan
      eehhh - naliitan
      iihhh - nalakihan
      oohhh - nasarapan
      uuhhh - nilabasan





      Sex recommended by doctors
      Why is sex recommended by doctors for women? Bec. It has meat & 2
      eggs that will keep the body healthy & strong plus condensed milk to
      prevent osteoporosis!




      5 reasons not to be a penis
      5 reasons not to be a penis:
      1. you're bald all your life;
      2. you have a hole in your head; .
      3. u live bet. 2 nuts;
      4. an asshole lives behind u;
      5. when excited, u throw up then faint.

      ------------------------------
      ------------------------------ ----------

      gatas
      Among babae: unang araw mo tetestingin ko kung magaling ka sa bata.

      Katulong : opo gagalingan ko po!

      Among babae: ok puntahan mo anak ko at padedehin mo !

      Katulong :opo sige po alis muna ko!

      ------------------------------ -------------------------
      Maklipans ang ilang minuto bumalik ang katulong umiiyak
      ------------------------------ -------------------------

      Among babae: O bakit ka umiiyak?

      Katulong: kasipo maskit ang boobs ko kinagat!

      Among babae: Ay Tanga hinde gatas ng suso mo yung sa bote!! (natataka
      ang amo babae)Teka wla pa naman ngipin Ang anak ko AH!

      Katulong : Kasi po sabi ni sir sisguraduhin nya muna kung di panis!!!!




      SPEAKER: who among you have a sex with a ghost??( a farmer raises his
      hand)
      SPEAKER: oh really?? what's the feeling having sex with a ghost??
      FARMER: ay puta!! kala ko GOATS!!





      May dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons...
      MADRE1: Diyos ko, patawarin mo po sila hindi nila alam ang kanilang
      ginagawa...
      MADRE2: Ay yung sakin, marunong!




      mag-69 tayo
      BABAE: Honey, mag-69 tayo.
      LALAKE: Ano yon?
      B: Ituturo ko sa yo. (nakaposition na sila e napautot ng 4x si
      babae).
      L: Ayoko na !!! Di ko na kakayanin ang 65 pang utot!!





      May squater (nanay & anak niyang babae) na nakatira sa tabi ng
      simbahan.
      Nag lalaro ang anak niya sa puno (walang damit), lumabas ang pare.
      PARE:Halika nga dito my child, ito ang 100 pesos pang bili ng damit.
      ANAK: Salamat po.
      Nakita ng nanay niya, nagisip-isip siya.
      Kinabukasan si nanay naman ang naglalaro sa puno naka hubad! Lumbas
      yung pare.
      PARE: Ma'am halika po kayo, ito po piso bumili kayo ng pangahit.





      LQ si mommy at Daddy so ang kanilang communication dinaan sa kanilang
      10 year old son.

      DADDY: Anak sabihin mo kay mommy gusto ko magtype
      (Meaning gusto ng sex)

      ANAK: Mommy!! gusto raw ni daddy magtype.

      MOMMY: Naku! Anak sabihin mo kay daddy mo wrong timing siya red
      ribbon ngayon.
      (meaning may menstruation).

      AFTER 1 WEEK

      MOMMY: Anak sabihin mo kay daddy pwede na siyang magtype

      ANAK: Daddy sabi ni mommy pwede na raw kayo magtype.

      DADDY: Naku! Anak sabihin mo kay mommy mo hindi ko na natiis na
      HANDWRITTEN ko na.





      Filipino translated to german
      TULO - zakitzaoten
      CONDOM - zupotzaoten
      IMPOTENT - lambotangoten
      JAKOL - larooten
      VIRGIN - noentrypaoten
      BAYAG - zarapkamuten





      Second Thought
      Amo : Inday, Pagdating ng Buyer ng Bahay, Sabihin mo nag-sesecond
      thought pa kami ng Sir mo.
      Maid : Upu Mam !
      later.....................
      Buyer : Saan ang Amo mo ?
      Maid : Si Sir Po at Si Mam eh...nagsisikentut pa pu.
       


      Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.