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- View SourceAt New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a
public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious
al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math
Al-gebra is a ver fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go ogg on a tangent in a search of
absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "X"
and "Y," and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns," we
know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm
extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent
on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us
with calculus disregard. These statistic bad guys love to inflict plane on
every sphere of influence.
Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our
point, and drew the line.
These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything
in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a
Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex. As our Great
Leader would say, "Read my ellipse." Here is one principle he is
uncertainty of --- though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered
and hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.
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