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FW: If Paint Stores were like Airlines !

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  • Raymond R. Wise
    ... Rand & Deb Wise 2784 Mt. Olive Drive Decatur, GA 30033 wiserd@mindspring.com (404) 327-5765 When my friend told me he found Jesus, I thought, Yippie!
    Message 1 of 1 , May 2, 1999
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      >Subject: FW: If Paint Stores were like Airlines !


      >> BUYING PAINT FROM A HARDWARE STORE
      >>
      >> Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
      >>
      >> Clerk: We have regular quality for $12 a gallon and premium
      >> for $18. How many gallons would you like?
      >>
      >> Customer: Five gallons of regular quality, please.
      >>
      >> Clerk: Great. That will be $60 plus tax.


      >> BUYING PAINT FROM AN AIRLINE
      >>
      >> Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
      >>
      >> Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
      >>
      >> Customer: Depends on what?
      >>
      >> Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
      >>
      >> Customer: How about giving me an average price?
      >>
      >> Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is
      >> $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a
      >> gallon.
      >>
      >> Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
      >>
      >> Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same
      >> paint.
      >>
      >> Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
      >>
      >> Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When
      >> do you intend to use it?
      >>
      >> Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
      >>
      >> Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
      >>
      >> Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get
      >> the $9 version?
      >>
      >> Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have
      >> to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and
      >> continue painting until at least Sunday.
      >>
      >> Customer: You've got to be kidding!
      >>
      >> Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have
      >> to check to see if we have any of that paint available
      >> before I can sell it to you.
      >>
      >> Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it
      >> to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it
      >> right there.
      >>
      >> Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have
      >> it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain
      >> number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way,
      >> the price just went to $12.
      >>
      >> Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking!
      >>
      >> Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules
      >> thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually
      >> walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided
      >> to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I
      >> would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many
      >> gallons do you want?
      >>
      >> Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I
      >> should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
      >>
      >> Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint
      >> and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and
      >> possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
      >>
      >> Customer: What?
      >>
      >> Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your
      >> kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop
      >> painting before you do the bedroom, you will be in violation
      >> of our tariffs.
      >>
      >> Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all
      >> the paint? I already paid you for it!
      >>
      >> Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just
      >> the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you
      >> will use all the paint, and when you don't, it just causes
      >> us all sorts of problems.
      >>
      >> Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will
      >> happen if I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!
      >>
      >> Clerk: Yes, sir, something will.
      >>
      >> Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to
      >> buy my paint.
      >>
      >> Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same
      >> rules. Thanks for painting with our airline.
      >>
      >>
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      Rand & Deb Wise
      2784 Mt. Olive Drive
      Decatur, GA 30033

      wiserd@...
      (404) 327-5765

      "When my friend told me he found Jesus, I thought, "Yippie! We're going to
      be rich!", but then it turned out to be something different." -Jack Handy
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