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  • Peter Bertling
    As for the myth of needles being stuck in theatre seats, I had a couple kids ask me about that a month or two ago out here in Turkey. Talking about all that
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 20, 1999
      As for the myth of needles being stuck in theatre seats, I had a couple
      kids ask me about that a month or two ago out here in Turkey. Talking
      about all that stuff, you might enjoy this. Peace.

      Pete

      SO,
      I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
      having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So
      anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
      and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the
      tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his
      mirror that said
      "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to
      his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his
      hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it
      wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working
      on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around.
      His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get
      together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the
      leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last week in a mass
      e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney
      World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

      The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
      kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
      HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to
      the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the
      one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one
      whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the
      American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every
      e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of
      x's and o's in the shape of an
      angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good
      luck but ten people you will only have ok luck and if you send it to less
      than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN
      YEARS).
      So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
      way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be
      helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a
      gang initiation. And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused
      the Dark Ages.
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