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4583Darwin Awards

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  • Matthew McNulty
    Apr 3, 2005

      I don't know if I would call these Darwin Awards.  The "recipient" doesn't actually remove themselves from the gene pool in all of these scenarios.  Silly people none the less.


      >>Are there really people this stupid?....
      >>Yes, it's that time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed,
      >>honoring the least Evolved among us.
      >>Darwin Award Winners:
      >>1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
      >>during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
      >>did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
      >>tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable
      >>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
      >>machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
      >>insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its
      >>men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
      >>The chef's claim was approved.
      >>3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
      >>a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken
      >>the space. Understandably, he shot her.
      >>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
      >>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
      >>Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
      >>driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
      >>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
      >>staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
      >>fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
      >>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
      >>wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
      >>injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
      >>he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
      >>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
      >>and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
      >>pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
      >>promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
      >>the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
      >>drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a
      >>crime committed?)
      >>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
      >>he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
      >>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
      >>at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
      >>the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
      >>Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
      >>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
      >>her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
      >>able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,
      >>the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
      >>back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
      >>stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
      >>her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
      >>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
      >>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
      >>cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
      >>register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
      >>said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
      >>And Number 10, the 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
      >>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
      >>Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
      >>the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
      >>spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
      >>to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
      >>tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
      >>saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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