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Re: [tips_and_tricks] RE: Divorce Questions

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  • Dave's EMail
    Since you left your husband (no matter how deserved) and since you committed adultry while still legally married to him (according to the Bible and according
    Message 1 of 7 , Nov 2, 2003
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      Since you left your husband (no matter how deserved) and since you committed adultry while still legally married to him (according to the Bible and according to the laws of almost all 50 States) you have all but eliminated your grounds for an uncontested divorce.  In most states (I do not know about NY) the best you can hope for is a negotiated divorce.  This means that you are at least somewhat under the control of your soon-to-be ex-husband.
       
      I don't want to make a moral assessment, but in the eyes of the law, you were better advised to have sex AFTER you obtained a divorce.  This is true pretty much regardless of whether or not he was guilty of adultery.  It would have been a solid legal case to allege adultry against him if you had not done the same.  In the eyes of the law, where it considers adultry, whether before or after separation does not matter.  The issue is were you still legally married when you had sex with another man.  Where the laws consider adultry, it considers adultry before or after separation as the same.  As long as you were legally married, it was adultry.
       
      Sorry I could not give you more encouragement.  As much as I hate to recommend a lawyer for anything, you might need a good divorce lawyer for this one.
       
      Yours in freedom,
       
      Dave Miner
       
       
       
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 3:18 PM
      Subject: [tips_and_tricks] RE: Divorce Questions

      I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
      divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
      Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
      such thing as  irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
      he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
      please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
      child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
      neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
      him the
      divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
      and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
      can give me






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    • sheryl lane-mcgrath
      In NYS there exist six grounds for a legally married couple to seek a divorce: 1. the cruel and inhuman treatment of the defendant by the plaintiff; 2.
      Message 2 of 7 , Nov 2, 2003
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        In NYS there exist six grounds for a legally married couple to seek a  divorce:
         
        1.    the cruel and inhuman treatment of the defendant by the plaintiff;
         
        2.    abandonment of the plaintiff by the defendant for a period of at least one year (the period was originally two years but was reduced to one year, effective September 1, 1972);
         
        3.    confinement of the defendant in prison for a period of at least three consecutive years;
         
        4.    adultery;
         
        5.    living apart pursuant to a separation judgment for a period of at least one year (the period was originally two years but was reduced to one year, effective September 1, 1972);
         
        6.    living apart pursuant to a separation agreement for a period of at least one year (the period was originally two years but reduced to one year, effective September 1972).
         
        *Furthermore, a couple may seek out an uncontested divorce in NYS and there is no timeline for filing for this or having it granted.  The forms are available online at www.courts.state.ny.us  or at your County's Supreme/Family Court Clerk's Office.  You still purchase the Index No. to file the divorce and don't need the services of a lawyer to do this.
         
        It's not clear who left and why - did you leave due to adultery on his part?  Or your part?  Do you have a written separation agreement or separation judgment?  If not, you need one.
         
        One of the biggest mistakes on filing for a divorce (in NYS) that I hear/see people make almost daily is they wait a year before filing only to find out they have no proof (agreement, judgment).   The law states it is living apart pursuant to a separation judgment for a period of at least one year; living apart pursuant to a separation agreement for a period of at least one year; or abandonment of the plaintiff by the defendant for a period of at least one year.  You must get a written agreement or judgment or proof of abandonment of the spouse that left the marital home and refuses to return.
         
        Regardless, your child with another man need not carry your married name and may carry the name of the father of that child - and this is what you must make clear to the hospital after or prior to birth.
         
        Sheryl Lane-McGrath
         
         
        ----- Original Message -----

         
        I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
        divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
        Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
        such thing as  irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
        he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
        please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
        child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
        neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
        him the
        divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
        and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
        can give me



      • Ed Pearson
        Name the child ******* then the fathers last name and then your Maiden name. will do fine legally. ... From: Uh... I forgot
        Message 3 of 7 , Nov 2, 2003
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            Name the child  *******   then the fathers last name and then your Maiden name. will do fine legally.

           

          -----Original Message-----
          From: Uh... I forgot [mailto:elsunshine1983@...]
          Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 3:18 PM
          To: tips_and_tricks@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: [tips_and_tricks] RE: Divorce Questions

           

          I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
          divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
          Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
          such thing as  irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
          he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
          please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
          child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
          neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
          him the
          divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
          and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
          can give me






          To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          tips_and_tricks-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com



          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
        • Advancepum@aol.com
          Go to Nevada It only takes a week to establish residency and another to quit the problem Marriage unles I m misinformed/ Should be several DIVORCE SHOPS ON
          Message 4 of 7 , Nov 2, 2003
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            Go to Nevada  It only takes a week to establish residency and another to quit the  problem Marriage unles I'm misinformed/ Should be several DIVORCE SHOPS ON LINE THERE
            Paul

            I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
            divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
            Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
            such thing as  irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
            he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
            please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
            child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
            neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
            him the
            divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
            and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
            can give me


          • Dessie Andrews
            Divorce is a private matter between husband and wife, should be worked out equitably between them, published in the paper that it s done, and not involve the
            Message 5 of 7 , Nov 3, 2003
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              Divorce is a private matter between husband and wife, should be worked
              out equitably between them, published in the paper that it's done, and
              not involve the state or its courts. Sit down, work out an agreement
              with you ex and go on with your life.

              I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
              divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
              Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
              such thing as irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
              he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
              please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
              child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
              neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
              him the
              divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
              and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
              can give me
            • Bliss Alexandra
              Divorce law is specific in each state. One shoe does not fit all. I am the New York expert for everyday people needing a divorce. And handle the toughest
              Message 6 of 7 , Nov 3, 2003
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                Divorce law is specific in each state. One shoe does not fit all.
                I am the New York expert for everyday people needing a divorce.
                And handle the toughest cases to get you where you need to go.
                Our prices are fair for high quality work.
                If you've been married the usual way, it's usually easiest to get out the
                same way.
                If your divorce was not private in the first place, publishing is not the
                answer imho.
                eagle007@...

                -----Original Message-----
                From: Dessie Andrews [mailto:dessieandrews@...]
                Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 11:11 AM
                To: tips_and_tricks@yahoogroups.com
                Subject: RE: [tips_and_tricks] RE: Divorce Questions


                Divorce is a private matter between husband and wife, should be worked
                out equitably between them, published in the paper that it's done, and
                not involve the state or its courts. Sit down, work out an agreement
                with you ex and go on with your life.

                I am trying to get a divorce my ex will not give me a non contested
                divorce on the reason's i left him which were Adultery and
                Inhuman Treatment.... I beliece in New York State there is no
                such thing as irreconsible differences as a reason for divorce....
                he says that , that is what a noncontested divorce is Can anyone
                please tell me if that is true, I am pregnant with another man's
                child and I do not want my child to have my ex;s last name and
                neither does the father...... if I wait the year to the day I left
                him the
                divorce will not be final when the baby is born. I left on May 22nd
                and the baby is due on June 6th, Thanks for any answers you
                can give me







                To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
                tips_and_tricks-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com



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