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IRS Fable

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  • hobot
    IRS Fable The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 4, 2006
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      IRS Fable

      The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.

      The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his
      attorney.

      The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
      and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you
      win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

      "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about
      a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay,
      Go ahead."

      Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my
      own eye."
      The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
      Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

      The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two
      thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

      The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

      Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

      The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
      grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

      "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks.


      "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
      your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and
      never get a drop anywhere in between.


      "The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
      carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that
      stunt, so he agrees again.

      Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
      strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket
      on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.


      The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
      major loss into a huge win.

      But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands."Are you
      okay?" the auditor asks."Not really," says the attorney. "This
      morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he
      bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss
      all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."
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