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Moneyball (2011)

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  • jameskettering
    I m not a big baseball fan. I am not one who s in love with the game. So when I heard that the movie Moneyball , based off the book by Michael Lewis, deals
    Message 1 of 3 , Sep 26, 2011
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      I'm not a big baseball fan. I am not one who's in love with the game. So when I heard that the movie "Moneyball", based off the book by Michael Lewis, deals with the business side of baseball, I was quite interested. This movie kept my viewing perspective going to a point where I wasn't bored. Some people may be turned off by the fact that this baseball movie isn't all-action, but a more thought-based film that explores how the business side of baseball works. "Moneyball" is a great look at how business with baseball works, despite not having a lot of action.

      The plot of the film centers on Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), the General Manager for the Oakland Athletics baseball team. He just lost a very important baseball season, as well as some major players. Mr. Beane acquires a young assistant named Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) who helps Beane with financial player issues. Beane then hires some new talent and the Athletics start doing well. The movie chronicles the Athletics rise and downfall for the 2002 baseball season.

      "Moneyball" is a great film that showcases how baseball is conducted. The direction is good, the cast is perfect, and overall, the entire production is flawless. But it's the story that keeps you interested. Why? Because you want to see what's going to happen next to the characters, especially Beane who goes through the most trouble in the film. Yes, baseball nerds know what happens, but for those who don't know about baseball, then, this film is for you.

      Like I said, not many people may share the same views like other people about this movie. For people who want to see action in a baseball film, you will not find it here. It mainly talks about the business side of the game.

      Overall, "Moneyball" is a great movie about baseball, not showing the game. Sure, some true baseball fans may not appreciate the tone of the film, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. And as for someone who is not a big fan of the sport, I enjoyed it too.

      I know I left some things out in this review, I had just came home from the theater watching the movie. Just tell me how I did on my review.
    • Mary Jones
      James   I found your review quite interesting. There certainly are some problems though.   The first para begins with a negative instead of a positive. The
      Message 2 of 3 , Sep 27, 2011
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        James
         
        I found your review quite interesting.
        There certainly are some problems though.
         
        The first para begins with a negative instead of a positive. The second and the last sentences are redundant and should be deleted. I found at least two inappropriate words.
        The second and third para's were quite good. Few problems there.
        The fourth para is redundant and could be deleted.
        In the fifth para your transitions into the last two sentences were very poor grammar and could be deleted altogether. Delete the last word also. One punctuation error and one sentence rewrite would fix the last  para.
        All in all the message came through.
         
        I now know better than to use a green highlighter, and I'm getting the gist of editing. The more practice the better.
        Thank you for the opportunity.
         
        Mary

        From: jameskettering <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>
        To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
        Sent: Monday, September 26, 2011 8:48:40 AM
        Subject: [ticket2write] Moneyball (2011)

         
        I'm not a big baseball fan. I am not one who's in love with the game. So when I heard that the movie "Moneyball", based off the book by Michael Lewis, deals with the business side of baseball, I was quite interested. This movie kept my viewing perspective going to a point where I wasn't bored. Some people may be turned off by the fact that this baseball movie isn't all-action, but a more thought-based film that explores how the business side of baseball works. "Moneyball" is a great look at how business with baseball works, despite not having a lot of action.

        The plot of the film centers on Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), the General Manager for the Oakland Athletics baseball team. He just lost a very important baseball season, as well as some major players. Mr. Beane acquires a young assistant named Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) who helps Beane with financial player issues. Beane then hires some new talent and the Athletics start doing well. The movie chronicles the Athletics rise and downfall for the 2002 baseball season.

        "Moneyball" is a great film that showcases how baseball is conducted. The direction is good, the cast is perfect, and overall, the entire production is flawless. But it's the story that keeps you interested. Why? Because you want to see what's going to happen next to the characters, especially Beane who goes through the most trouble in the film. Yes, baseball nerds know what happens, but for those who don't know about baseball, then, this film is for you.

        Like I said, not many people may share the same views like other people about this movie. For people who want to see action in a baseball film, you will not find it here. It mainly talks about the business side of the game.

        Overall, "Moneyball" is a great movie about baseball, not showing the game. Sure, some true baseball fans may not appreciate the tone of the film, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. And as for someone who is not a big fan of the sport, I enjoyed it too.

        I know I left some things out in this review, I had just came home from the theater watching the movie. Just tell me how I did on my review.



      • albiaicehouse
        James, I think Mary nailed it as a straight up edit and relied on your intelligence rather than prescribing all solutions. She deserves great thanks. The one
        Message 3 of 3 , Oct 2, 2011
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          James,

          I think Mary nailed it as a straight up edit and relied on your intelligence rather than prescribing all solutions. She deserves great thanks.

          The one thing I would add is you might want to perfect the half told story.

          You want to include a lead in to the part of the movie that drew you in when you are reviewing a movie that did draw you in.

          In the second paragraph you tell us the birds eye view of the movie, but I don't feel drawn in to any particular conflict. Stories don't exist without conflict and a reviewer helps the film industry by telling enough of a film's conflict to attract viewers, but not giving away the resolution. You can do this by talking about the two characters you introduce. What do they start to conflict about and why? Tell the reader that, but don't tell us how the conflict is resolved. Then every reader will want to see the film and will see if they agree with the rest of your review.

          Good luck!

          Rod

          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, Mary Jones <maryajj25@...> wrote:
          >
          > James
          >  
          > I found your review quite interesting.
          > There certainly are some problems though.
          >  
          > The first para begins with a negative instead of a positive. The second and the last sentences are redundant and should be deleted. I found at least two inappropriate words.
          > The second and third para's were quite good. Few problems there.
          > The fourth para is redundant and could be deleted.
          > In the fifth para your transitions into the last two sentences were very poor grammar and could be deleted altogether. Delete the last word also. One punctuation error and one sentence rewrite would fix the last  para.
          > All in all the message came through.
          >  
          > I now know better than to use a green highlighter, and I'm getting the gist of editing. The more practice the better.
          > Thank you for the opportunity.
          >  
          > Mary
          >
          > From: jameskettering <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>
          > >To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
          > >Sent: Monday, September 26, 2011 8:48:40 AM
          > >Subject: [ticket2write] Moneyball (2011)
          > >
          > >
          > > 
          > >I'm not a big baseball fan. I am not one who's in love with the game. So when I heard that the movie "Moneyball", based off the book by Michael Lewis, deals with the business side of baseball, I was quite interested. This movie kept my viewing perspective going to a point where I wasn't bored. Some people may be turned off by the fact that this baseball movie isn't all-action, but a more thought-based film that explores how the business side of baseball works. "Moneyball" is a great look at how business with baseball works, despite not having a lot of action.
          > >
          > >The plot of the film centers on Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), the General Manager for the Oakland Athletics baseball team. He just lost a very important baseball season, as well as some major players. Mr. Beane acquires a young assistant named Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) who helps Beane with financial player issues. Beane then hires some new talent and the Athletics start doing well. The movie chronicles the Athletics rise and downfall for the 2002 baseball season.
          > >
          > >"Moneyball" is a great film that showcases how baseball is conducted. The direction is good, the cast is perfect, and overall, the entire production is flawless. But it's the story that keeps you interested. Why? Because you want to see what's going to happen next to the characters, especially Beane who goes through the most trouble in the film. Yes, baseball nerds know what happens, but for those who don't know about baseball, then, this film is for you.
          > >
          > >Like I said, not many people may share the same views like other people about this movie. For people who want to see action in a baseball film, you will not find it here. It mainly talks about the business side of the game.
          > >
          > >Overall, "Moneyball" is a great movie about baseball, not showing the game. Sure, some true baseball fans may not appreciate the tone of the film, but it's enjoyable nonetheless. And as for someone who is not a big fan of the sport, I enjoyed it too.
          > >
          > >I know I left some things out in this review, I had just came home from the theater watching the movie. Just tell me how I did on my review.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          >
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