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RESIDUUM.

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  • Bernard d
    RESIDUUM . The few derelict fences…now fallen, lie at rest, their remains, twisted russet wire mid the grass. These, to the passage, of four score years
    Message 1 of 9 , Apr 4 9:48 PM
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       "RESIDUUM".

      The few derelict fences…now fallen, lie at rest,

      their remains, twisted russet wire mid the grass.

      These, to the passage, of four score years attest,

      Nature reclaims her losses, as the seasons pass…

      Here scattered remnants, tell of Man's sojourn,

      the charred, half buried timbers, lie in disarray…

      Shattered glass and crazed china loath to burn,

      a mute strewn testament, to dreams of yesterday.

      Grave sites long untended, now unmarked cists,

      crosses, fallen victim, to both elements and ant.

      Interned the souls, for whom no memory exists,

      guardians, of a world bush shall soon supplant.

      A strange solitude descends, as Nature overawes,

      a sense of insignificance a stilled vista to present.

      A crass brashness that is Man, silently withdraws,

      a breeze, midst waving gums whispers its consent…

      ©.Copyright: Bernard de Silva…17-Jul-09.


    • Bernard d
      Residuum. When love that waned, offers no sway, then, Indifference farewells Romance. Seems, a time has come, to walk away, without sparing one backward
      Message 2 of 9 , Nov 7, 2012
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         Residuum.


        When love that waned, offers no sway,
        then, Indifference farewells Romance.
        Seems, a time has come, to walk away,
        without sparing one backward glance.

        Soft, whispered troths, now are denied,
        as with its stern voice, Derision speaks.
        Rejection's tears, long now have dried,
        to moisten not, any past lover's cheeks.

        Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
        when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
        Guilt follows every harsh uttered word,
        remorseful ballads are best sung alone.                                                                     

        The wines of Life, but one soured stain,
        in a crazed chalice, that had held Love.
        A lone minstrel strums, a dirge refrain,
        with a mailed fist, in a soft velvet glove…


        ©. Copyright: Bernard de Silva…
               Thurs. 8th. November, 2012.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

      • Wings081
        Hi Bernie Excellent as always but could I ask a favour: In the third stanza,allow me to add LY onto harsh in the third line. Must be me because as I read it
        Message 3 of 9 , Nov 8, 2012
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          Hi Bernie
          Excellent as always but could I ask a favour:
          In the third stanza,allow me to add 'LY' onto
          harsh in the third line. Must be me because as
          I read it 'Harsh' slams the brakes on.
          But what do I know cuz I don't profess to be a poet
          just a rhymester.
          Always a treat to read your submissions
          As always
          Wings.

          --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Bernard d" <rede2rollbaby@...> wrote:
          >
          > Residuum.
          >
          >
          > When love that waned, offers no sway,
          > then, Indifference farewells Romance.
          > Seems, a time has come, to walk away,
          > without sparing one backward glance.
          >
          > Soft, whispered troths, now are denied,
          > as with its stern voice, Derision speaks.
          > Rejection's tears, long now have dried,
          > to moisten not, any past lover's cheeks.
          >
          > Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
          > when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
          > Guilt follows every harsh uttered word,
          > remorseful ballads are best sung alone.
          >
          > The wines of Life, but one soured stain,
          > in a crazed chalice, that had held Love.
          > A lone minstrel strums, a dirge refrain,
          > with a mailed fist, in a soft velvet glove…
          >
          >
          > ©. Copyright: Bernard de Silva…
          > Thurs. 8th. November, 2012.
          >
        • mtracht508@aol.com
          Bernard, this is a lovely refrain that beautifully expresses a stage of love that all of us romantics pray that we never see. Since I m only 45 years into my
          Message 4 of 9 , Nov 8, 2012
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            Bernard, this is a lovely refrain that beautifully expresses a stage of love that all of us romantics pray that we never see. Since I'm only 45 years into my own romance, I hope to have a long way to go before I have to face the ashes that once were---and still are---flames!
             
            Your ending is a classic way of expressing the tired cliche, "They went out with a whimper, not a bang." As a therapist, once a client described one of my techniques of confrontation as "an iron fist concealed in a velvet glove." Your adjectives strengthen and slightly delay the conclusion which enhances the effect.
             
            If new couples with stars in their eyes were made to read this refrain before they stepped too far in their expectations, perhaps it would serve as a guidepost for prevention rather than how to compose a dirge after the corpse is cold in the ground.
             
            Your title was spot-on. Choosing the Latin form was also an excellent choice. It is a requiem.
             
            One small suggestion of a technical nature: When you submit a piece to a group of writers, please use a standard font. If this were in book form, I could say that your choice is admirable. However, as someone who writes at least a thousand words a day and has to spend hours editing it, when something is submitted for review or evaluation, I would prefer not to have to strain my eyes reading curlicues. Good writing needs no artifice other than the technical skill to make words perform magic. Times New Roman or Arial in 12 point, ten pitch means I will have all my faculties concentrating on the content, not the packaging.
             
            Milt
             
            In a message dated 11/8/2012 5:50:36 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, rede2rollbaby@... writes:
             

             Residuum.


            When love that waned, offers no sway,
            then, Indifference farewells Romance.
            Seems, a time has come, to walk away,
            without sparing one backward glance.

            Soft, whispered troths, now are denied,
            as with its stern voice, Derision speaks.
            Rejection's tears, long now have dried,
            to moisten not, any past lover's cheeks.

            Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
            when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
            Guilt follows every harsh uttered word,
            remorseful ballads are best sung alone.                                                                     

            The wines of Life, but one soured stain,
            in a crazed chalice, that had held Love.
            A lone minstrel strums, a dirge refrain,
            with a mailed fist, in a soft velvet glove…


            ©. Copyright: Bernard de Silva…
                   Thurs. 8th. November, 2012.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

            .

          • Bernard d
            G day Wings, near enough to half past midnight here... I don t like the idea of, every harshly and dislike uneven line length...but that s just me. Have a
            Message 5 of 9 , Nov 8, 2012
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              G'day Wings,
              near enough to half past
              midnight here...
              I don't like the idea of,
              "every harshly" and dislike uneven
              line length...but that's just me.


              Have a play with these and comment...

              Cheers Old Son,
              Bernie...

              Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
              when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
              Guilt follows every harsh, uttered word,
              remorseful ballads are best sung alone.

              It seems joyous lilts can never be heard,
              when loving eyes slowly turn into stone.
              Guilt pursues, the harshly uttered word,
              the remorseful ballad is best sung alone.

              Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
              when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
              Guilt follows every harshly uttered word,
              remorseful ballads are best sung alone.


              Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
              when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
              Guilt follows each crassly uttered word,
              remorseful ballads, are best sung alone.


              Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
              when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
              Guilt succeeds, a harshly uttered word,
              remorseful ballads are best sung alone.


              Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
              when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
              Guilt pursues, the crassly uttered word,
              remorseful ballads are best sung alone.
            • Mary Jones
              Hi Bernie   We can always count on Wings for an interesting comment. . Bernie I love this poem. Your use of form and the best words in the best place
              Message 6 of 9 , Nov 8, 2012
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                Hi Bernie
                 
                We can always count on Wings for an interesting comment.
                .
                Bernie I love this poem. Your use of form and the 'best words in the best place' inspire me, as all your work does.
                About your beautiful form and word association language- ie logical progression- looking at the contemporary stuff I wonder if we're outdated. What might that mean about our readership?
                Mary

                From: Wings081 <wings081@...>
                To: ticket2write@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: Thursday, November 8, 2012 4:58:30 AM
                Subject: [ticket2write] Re: RESIDUUM. (Bernard 41483)
                 
                Hi Bernie
                Excellent as always but could I ask a favour:
                In the third stanza,allow me to add 'LY' onto
                harsh in the third line. Must be me because as
                I read it 'Harsh' slams the brakes on.
                But what do I know cuz I don't profess to be a poet
                just a rhymester.
                Always a treat to read your submissions
                As always
                Wings.

                --- In mailto:ticket2write%40yahoogroups.com, "Bernard d" <rede2rollbaby@...> wrote:
                >
                > Residuum.
                >
                >
                > When love that waned, offers no sway,
                > then, Indifference farewells Romance.
                > Seems, a time has come, to walk away,
                > without sparing one backward glance.
                >
                > Soft, whispered troths, now are denied,
                > as with its stern voice, Derision speaks.
                > Rejection's tears, long now have dried,
                > to moisten not, any past lover's cheeks.
                >
                > Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
                > when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
                > Guilt follows every harsh uttered word,
                > remorseful ballads are best sung alone.
                >
                > The wines of Life, but one soured stain,
                > in a crazed chalice, that had held Love.
                > A lone minstrel strums, a dirge refrain,
                > with a mailed fist, in a soft velvet glove…
                >
                >
                > ©. Copyright: Bernard de Silva…
                > Thurs. 8th. November, 2012.
                >

              • alynda_long
                I can totally relate to this poem. I ve been there more than once and it is a dark, dark, place. You ve beautifully captured the feelings I ve been unable to
                Message 7 of 9 , Nov 8, 2012
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                  I can totally relate to this poem. I've been there more than once and it is a dark, dark, place. You've beautifully captured the feelings I've been unable to put into words. I have complete respect for poets as their task is far greater than the writer of prose, in my opinion.

                  -Alynda

                  --- In ticket2write@yahoogroups.com, "Bernard d" <rede2rollbaby@...> wrote:
                  >
                  > Residuum.
                  >
                  >
                  > When love that waned, offers no sway,
                  > then, Indifference farewells Romance.
                  > Seems, a time has come, to walk away,
                  > without sparing one backward glance.
                  >
                  > Soft, whispered troths, now are denied,
                  > as with its stern voice, Derision speaks.
                  > Rejection's tears, long now have dried,
                  > to moisten not, any past lover's cheeks.
                  >
                  > Seems, the joyous lilts cannot be heard,
                  > when loving eyes, have turned to stone.
                  > Guilt follows every harsh uttered word,
                  > remorseful ballads are best sung alone.
                  >
                  > The wines of Life, but one soured stain,
                  > in a crazed chalice, that had held Love.
                  > A lone minstrel strums, a dirge refrain,
                  > with a mailed fist, in a soft velvet glove…
                  >
                  >
                  > ©. Copyright: Bernard de Silva…
                  > Thurs. 8th. November, 2012.
                  >
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